Lily White Lies (23 page)

He reluctantly ended our kiss and looked deeply into my eyes.  The recurring fantasies I had been having about this moment paled in comparison to the feel of his arms around me and the taste of his lips on mine.

His words came out quietly.  “I’m sorry.  I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’m not sorry.  I wanted you to.”

He lowered his head again, this time his kisses more urgent, more probing, exploring the recesses of my mouth with his tongue.  He took the soft moan that escaped from between our lips as his cue to move forward, lowering me gently onto the sheepskin that lay in front of the fireplace.  Currents of electricity raced through my veins as he pinned my body down with his own.  As I lost my fingers in his thick hair, he lifted his head.

“Meg, we can’t...  not yet”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak although my mouth hung open as if to question his abrupt change in demeanor.

He let his head hang limply, his eyes avoiding mine.

“I know my timing here really sucks, but I have to be honest with you.  My name is Con...  Con Ellis... and that’s why I said I was sorry I kissed you.  You have the right to know who I really am before we go any further.”  He blurted his words as if that were the only way he would get them all said.

Confusion set in quickly and without realizing it, my hands had pushed him away, trying to get him off me as I put the pieces of what he said together.

“Ellis?  Why is that name familiar?”

“Wesley Ellis was my father.”

The air in the room became thick as I tried to inhale.  My eyes fell on everything in the room except him, as events from many years ago raced forward in my mind.

He asked, “Are you alright?”

I shook my head as I managed to get on my feet.  “I feel like I went from ‘This is your Life’ to ‘Tales from the Crypt’ in a matter of seconds.  What do you expect me to say?”

“I’m sorry; I should have been upfront with you earlier.  That first time I saw you at the café, when Cory told me who you were, I was afraid that if you knew who I was, you wouldn’t...”  He vigorously ran a hand through his hair.  “I wanted a chance to show you that I wasn’t like them.  I wanted you to get to know me independently of my father and grandfather.”

“Grandfather?  What does he have to do with this?”

He looked at me quizzically, and replied, “My grandfather...  Jack Ellis, but you probably know him better by what most people call him—Joker.”

I sunk to the couch and processed what he had said.  Several minutes went by before I could think of anything logical to say.

“I’m missing something here.  You’re worried that
your
family tree will scare
me
off?”  My ironic laugh came out as more of a grunt.  “Maybe you’re the one who’s missing something.”

“What are you talking about?”

I felt my eyes slowly fill.  “Your father killed my aunt and uncle... that was an accident.  My grandfather killed your father... that
wasn’t
an accident.”  Wiping underneath each eye, I added; “Now you have a new reason to be sorry you kissed me.”

His brow creased.  “Your aunt and uncle?  No, your mother and father... and your grandfather didn’t kill my father.  My grandmother did.”  Holding my face in his hands, he looked me directly in the eyes, and said, “And I’m definitely
not
sorry I kissed you.”

Our worlds were colliding on a very eerie, but very real course and I didn’t know how to escape the collision.  Confusion, shock and pain were all elements of an ending that began as a perfect evening, and I couldn’t run fast enough or far enough to separate myself from it.

“I’m not sure that I understand any of this... and I’m not even sure that I want to.”  I buried my head in my hands.  “Suddenly I’m not feeling very well.”

He sat next to me on the couch and gently laid a hand on my knee, only to remove it immediately.

“I’m sorry; I don’t know what to say.”  He raised his arms as though he were going to console me with a hug, and then returned them on his lap.  “I almost didn’t tell you.”

“I almost wish you hadn’t.”

Several awkward minutes passed before the irony of our situation became absurdly funny to me.

“My grandmother wanted me to all but tackle you at the party.  If she had only known.”

“I thought about that when I met her.  I wasn’t honest with her either.”

“Here we are, pitted as arch rivals by birthright, and we’re making out by the fire.”  I laughed dryly.  “Now there’s a kick in the old family feud, huh?”

I paced back and forth in front of the hearth while he sat on the couch, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

The man I am expected to detest in the name of family tradition is the same man who, only minutes earlier, gave me the sweetest, most romantic kiss I’ve ever received.

He stood, took hold of my hands and led me back to the couch, sitting down next to me.

“Meg, we’ve grown up with conflicting stories about the past and at this point, I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.  The one thing I do know is that I like you... I like you a lot, no matter what your last name is or what’s happened between our families.”  I noted the glimmer in his eyes, as he continued.  “The way I see it, we have a choice.  We can either chalk this weekend up as a paradox or we can confront our pasts and maybe, just maybe put an end to this ridiculous feud, once and for all.”

“I don’t know what to say, I’m still stunned.”

“I know.  Maybe I should have handled it differently but I want you to promise me...”  He lifted my head with one finger.  “Promise me, you’ll keep in mind that I’m
not
my father or my grandfather?”

I nodded in agreement, but my mind was lost in other thoughts.  I suddenly had a strong desire to meet the man my grandfather hated so much.  Con didn’t want me to judge him by the actions of his father or grandfather and I found myself very curious as to what made this man named Joker such a detestable person.

As if he were privy to my thoughts, I asked, “Would you take me to meet him?”

“Who?”

“Your grandfather.  I’d really like to understand all of this better and somehow, I think that would help.”

He shook his head.  “You don’t know what you’re asking.  He’s... well, he’s different.  With the sole exception of my grandmother, he’s never gotten along with anyone in his life.”

His grandmother...  I suddenly remembered Gram telling me of Gayle’s death.

“Oh my God, I didn’t realize she was your grandmother until I heard that Joker was your grandfather.  I heard about her passing away recently and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.  She was a wonderful woman in her day, but her day was many, many years ago.  She’s finally at peace.”

I found his last remark a little cryptic but decided not to ask for an explanation.

“So, what?  Are we supposed to leave here hating each other to save face with out families?”

He smiled sweetly.  “This whole feud thing belongs to them, let’s not make it ours.  We’ll figure out the truth but promise me that the truth won’t affect us, whatever it is.”

I nodded less-than-enthusiastically.  “What about the girl of your dreams?”

As he curled a hand around the back of my neck and pulled me toward him, he said, “Now that I’ve found her, I can only hope that I’m the man of her dreams.”

Nineteen

...He’d been able to read me like a road sign since our first meeting and now, if there were any particular words that could cause me to melt at his command, he had just said every one of them...

Con and I spent much of Sunday just getting to know each other better, as we walked hand-in-hand around the pond and nearby woods.  We talked about everything except our families and their archaic feud, but somehow, our family differences seemed to aid in strengthening our newly formed relationship.  Each time he gazed into my eyes or kissed me tenderly, I became even more determined to overcome the obstacles laid out in front of us.

“So, tell me.  How long did you stay awake thinking about me last night?”

Slightly embarrassed by his frankness, I answered coyly. “Who said I stayed awake at all?”

“Answering questions with questions, huh?”  He playfully swung my hand.  “Okay, we’ll do it your way. 
Did
you lie awake thinking about me last night?”

There was no need to answer his question verbally.  The flicker in his eyes told me that my tell-all smile answered that question and many others.

He mischievously said, “I thought so.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to.  I listen when you aren’t speaking.  I learn your unspoken feelings that way.”

I thought he was leading up to a joke, but I was curious enough to ask him his meaning.

“You learn something about me when I’m
not
speaking?”

“That’s right.”  He stopped walking, ran an arm around my back and spun me to face him.  “When you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now, you’re looking for answers.  When you let your hair fall across your face, I know something has embarrassed you... a slight squeeze of your hand means you’re nervous and you look to the floor when you’re unsure of yourself.”

“You think you have me all figured out.”

Gazing deeply into my eyes, he continued, “When I wrap my hand around the back of your neck,” I felt his hand slide underneath my hair, “your eyelids close halfway over your eyes... and when I tilt my head,” he tilted his head to one side, “your lips part just a little.  When I kiss the side of your neck,” his lips brushed my skin, “I feel you pressing yourself into me...”  He buried his hand in my hair.  “...your nails across my back tell me that I’ve awakened forgotten desires... and when I deepen my kisses, your soft moans tell me that you’re beginning to ache for more than a kiss...” 

I mumbled, “You’re a great kisser.”

Through his affectionate smile, he replied, “Hasn’t anyone ever told you?  You’re only as good as the person you’re kissing?”

He pushed stray locks of hair back and cupped my face in one hand, saying, “I love the way you talk to me when you don’t say a thing,” and then leaned down, joining his lips with mine in a gentle kiss.

When he released me from our embrace, we continued our walk in the direction of the house.  I thought about the conversation I had had with Marco not long ago, when he told me that what he loved best about Nelda was the way she talked to him with her eyes and a warm feeling filled me as I realized, I had finally found for myself the one thing I envied most in their relationship.  It was a special intimacy that couldn't be spoken—it had to be felt.

My growling stomach and the sun hanging high above our heads were indicators that we had been walking longer than either of us had intended.  I was certain the girls would come for us sometime today and as much as I enjoyed the time alone with Con, I knew we each had to get back to our responsibilities in Upper Darby, so we headed back to keep from missing Cory and Charlotte when they arrived.

His tone became the most serious it had been all day, when he said, “You do realize that we’re going to have to confront our families if we intend to see each other after this weekend, don’t you?”

I nodded solemnly.

“Would you like me to come with you when you talk to your family?”

I didn’t have to think about the answer to his question.  “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”

He gave my hand a firm squeeze.  “Of course not.” 

“My relationship with my grandfather is a little unstable already.  This isn’t going to sit well with him, he hates your grandfather.”

“I’m afraid we’re looking at pretty much the same reaction from my grandfather, but I hate to put you through that.  I’d lay money that you’ve never met anyone quite like him.  I just don’t want him to offend you in any way.”

“I’ve been duly warned.”

As we made our way out of the woods and into the clearing, Con stopped and lowered his head slightly, squinting in the direction of the house.  Upon a closer look, I saw Cory’s Jeep parked in the driveway.

He looked to me, mischief dancing in his eyes.  “Do you want to get even?”

I felt the corners of my mouth curl, as I replied, “What do you have in mind?”

His plan was to storm into the house informing Cory and Charlotte that he’d spent the last two days searching for me to no avail.  He was going to remind them that my vanishing was their fault and then he was going to leave with them under the pretense of going directly to the police when they arrived back in Upper Darby.  I had told him that they would want to go with him, but he was certain he could keep them from joining him by telling them that he wouldn’t implicate them in my disappearance if they allowed him to handle everything alone.  He would then come back for me later, once he broke from them. 

I agreed to his plan and stayed quietly behind a large tree until I saw the three of them scurrying out of the house together.  I thought I could hear Charlotte sobbing loudly as the topless Jeep Wrangler pulled away.  A part of me felt guilty for playing such a mean-spirited prank, but as Con had reminded me, I was only getting even and teaching them a lesson in the process.