Linda Ford (9 page)

They would soon be in town. They’d pass Miss Ward’s house. Was it only yesterday that the older woman had rained down her vitriol? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

In fact, Rebecca’s previous life of privilege and advantage seemed like the distant past. Something she’d dreamed of. And now? Challenge, change, criticism and Miss Ward.

She’d proven she didn’t belong on the ranch. Or even in the community.

But where did she belong?

Chapter Eight

C
olton felt the tension from Heidi and Rebecca like a burr under his skin. He scoured his brain to think of a way to ease the situation. But his normally active mind could find no solution and the miles slipped away. They would soon reach town.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. Inadequate words, but they came from his heart.

Rebecca started, as if he’d interrupted her thoughts. “For what?”

Everything. His situation. His parents. “I should have shown you how to start a fire. Explained how the stove worked.”

She shrugged. “I should have known.” Her expression remained guarded, distant.

“A person isn’t born knowing. I remember when Ma first got sick and I had to make meals. I didn’t even know how to boil eggs.” He grinned at her. “At least you knew that.”

Another shrug.

He shifted his attention to Heidi, who was watching the passing scenery. He wondered if she actually saw it. “Heidi, I’m sorry I didn’t show Rebecca how to make a fire in the stove. It’s my fault it got out of control.”

She pressed back against the seat and kept her gaze riveted on the fence line.

Colton sighed. He was failing miserably at changing the atmosphere.

A neighbor rode by on horseback. “How are your parents?”

“They’re well enough. Thank you.”

“Miss Rebecca.” The man tipped his hat and rode on.

By then town was in sight. “Where do you want me to take you?”

“To Holly’s, please.”

The schoolyard was across from the town square, with the schoolteacher’s house on one end of the lot. He stopped there and jumped down to assist her. Heidi skittered away before he could help her.

He headed for the door, with Gabriel asleep in the basket. Hard to believe the baby hadn’t slept well during the night.

Rebecca touched his arm. “Wait. We need to talk.”

Now? He’d tried to pry a word or two from her all the way to town. But now was better than never. “Sure.”

“I’m not going back to the ranch.”

His smile slid off his face and landed upside down in his heart. “Ma’s unwelcoming, but she’ll mellow.”

“It’s not your ma. It’s me. In my ignorance I could have burned down the house. I don’t belong on a ranch.”

He had no answer for that. He could hardly blame her for thinking she deserved something nicer than he had to offer. She was a city girl, used to fine things. His ranch was little more than a glorified farm. As she’d observed the first moment, it smelled like a farm. And his folks were...well, difficult. “What about Gabriel?”

“I think it’s best if I keep him. If you don’t want to help at the orphanage, I understand. I’ll manage.”

He stumbled through his thoughts, trying to sort out what he wanted. What he wanted was so far out of reach he couldn’t even admit it to himself.

“No, I never start a job without finishing it. I’ll see if the lumber has arrived in town and get it delivered to the site.”

“Thank you. I’ll arrange for someone to fetch the rest of my things.”

“Never mind. I’ll bring them.” All the right words came from his mouth. But inside, he protested. He realized he had allowed himself a little dream. It couldn’t be permanent. He knew that. But for a few days he thought he could enjoy having a beautiful woman and children in the house.

“Again, thank you,” she said. “And I’m sorry that—”

He waited, but she didn’t explain. “For what?”

She stared past him. “For everything and nothing and I don’t know.”

If his insides weren’t so painful, he would have laughed. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

He drove away and went directly to the store. Mr. Gavin said the supplies had been off-loaded at the station, so he rented a wagon and brought the piles of lumber to the orphanage site.

Once that was done, he set out to inspect the building.

He stepped inside, where a staircase would lead to the upper floor. He ground to a halt and stared, his mind unable to make sense of what he saw. A dead rat hung through the opening, dangling at eye level. He had seen many a dead animal, but this was a deliberate warning. A threat. He pulled out his pocketknife, cut the rope and took the animal out to bury it in the yard.

But even digging a hole did not ease his anger. It rose in his throat, backed up along his veins until he saw and felt raw and red with every heartbeat. What if Rebecca had been the one to discover the animal? Who would do such a vile thing? How far would they go?

He circled the building, checking for clues, but found nothing. He swung up to the second floor. Apart from some smudged footprints, there were no clues as to who was responsible.

He returned to the ground floor and explored the surrounding area. Finally, he went back to the mercantile. Mr. Gavin looked eager to serve him.

“Got the supplies, did ya?”

“All unloaded at the orphanage site.” He studied the display of candy. Maybe Heidi would like something. “You seen any suspicious activity around there?”

Mr. Gavin shook his head. “Still looking for the woman who lost a baby?”

“Have you seen her?” He’d almost forgotten about Gabriel’s mother in his worry over whoever had vandalized the orphanage.

“Nope. Haven’t seen a soul who didn’t belong here.”

Colton chose a selection of penny candy to take to Heidi. Except she wasn’t going to be living at the ranch anymore.

He left the store and continued his journey around town, asking about strangers or strange behavior. Keeping his eyes open for clues.

But he saw nothing suspicious.

By the time he’d been through the town, one thing was certain: Miss Ward wouldn’t have touched a rat, so she wasn’t responsible.

Whoever was at the root of this was evil. Who could say what such a person would do next? Perhaps directly attack anyone involved with the orphanage. Which made a second thing certain. Rebecca couldn’t stay in town. It wasn’t safe. He would not admit he welcomed the excuse to ask her back.

But how could he convince her? If he told her the real reason—the rat—she’d be frightened. And the more compelling reason—that he wanted her to return—would frighten her even more.

* * *

Rebecca sat across the table from Holly. Before each of them were pretty china teacups. Outside, Liam and Heidi played. When Heidi’s laugh carried through the open window, Rebecca sighed in relief. “I was afraid I had done her irreparable damage.”

Holly tipped her head to consider Rebecca. “That sounds like a story.”

“A tale of woe, you could say.” She told her friend about starting the fire.

By the time she finished, Holly was laughing merrily. “You should write a book.”

“I fail to see any humor in the situation.”

“The Misadventures of the Rich and Famous.”
Holly’s grin persisted despite Rebecca’s lack of response.

“I’m neither rich nor famous. In fact, I could well be the death of certain people.”

Holly sobered instantly. “You’re plotting murder?”

“Of course not.” She explained Mrs. Hayes’s comment and her lack of welcome. “I’m not going back to the farm. There’s no room for a city girl there.”

“And Mr. Hayes shared his wife’s opinion?”

“Oh, not at all.” She told Holly what he’d said about Heidi’s scars.

“It sounds like a good place for Heidi.”

“Maybe it was until I undid all that good by reminding her of the fire that took her parents.”

Holly sipped some tea before she answered, “I doubt you are responsible for Heidi’s memories.” She ran her finger along the rim of her pretty china cup. “I remember how you stood so strong after Mr. Arlington was shot and killed. Then how you kept everyone in control after the school fire. Nothing put you off-kilter. How often did you say, ‘I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength?’” She fixed a demanding look at Rebecca. “Why are you letting this situation defeat you?”

“I—I—” She stammered. “I’m not defeated. Just inadequate.”

Holly laughed. When she saw that Rebecca didn’t join her, she sobered. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Rebecca nodded.

“My friend, you aren’t inadequate. You’re inexperienced. At least at farm living. Only one way to fix that.”

“Get back to New York as soon as possible.”

“Is that what you want?”

Rebecca took her time answering. “That’s always been the plan.”

“Yours or someone else’s?”

She tried to think. Had she ever had a choice in the plans laid out for her? “I don’t know.”

Holly’s look was both challenging and sympathetic. “Don’t you think it’s something you
should
know? Are you pursuing the life you want or one that’s expected of you? They might be the same, but if they’re not, then I warn you, you won’t be happy unless you listen to your heart.”

“But I don’t even know what that means.”

“Then perhaps you need to take the time to learn. Care for more tea?”

Rebecca shook her head. Last time she’d listened to her heart, it had been broken by Oliver. Hadn’t it? But had she truly been following her heart? Her father had approved of Oliver. Said he’d be a fine son-in-law. Did he still think that? Did he blame her for Oliver’s decision not to marry her? It was so complicated.

She went to the window to check on Heidi, who was playing on the swings with Liam. Liam appeared to do all the talking. “Why isn’t Liam with Mason today?”

“Mason gave him some chores to do. He said he’d return later and Liam could go with him if he had his chores done.”

“I hope we aren’t keeping you from work.”

“Not at all.”

At that moment, Gabriel awakened for his feeding.

A little later, Mason returned and took Liam with him.

Heidi wandered into the house and flopped onto the sofa. “When is Colton coming back?”

“He’s not.”

Heidi sat upright. “Why not?”

Rebecca wished Holly would explain, but her friend gave her an it’s-your-responsibility look. Very well. “Honey, I’ve decided not to go back there.”

Heidi’s face blanched, making her red scars stand out in sharp contrast. “It’s because of me, isn’t it? His ma and pa said we couldn’t stay there.” She bolted to her feet.

Rebecca caught the girl before she could race out the door. “No, honey. No one asked us to leave. I thought it was best. I’m not very good at farm living.”

“What difference does living on a farm make?”

How did she explain her ineptitude?

Heidi rushed on. “I like it there. Mr. Hayes is nice. ’Sides, there’s no one else around.”

Rebecca struggled for a reply. She’d thought Heidi would welcome the news that they wouldn’t be returning to the place where Rebecca had scared her so badly. She felt Holly’s study of her. Was she right? Was it inexperience alone that made her not fit in?

Holly edged closer. “I have a book that will help you learn everything you need to know about running a farmhouse.”

“I doubt there’s a book big enough to accomplish that.”

Heidi grabbed her hand. “Please, Miss Sterling. Pleeeease. I’ll be oh, so good. And I’ll help you. I’ll even stay up and look after Gabriel at night.”

She couldn’t ignore the child’s pleas, but could she face the challenges of farm life again? “Let me think about it.”

“Okay, but I know you’ll change your mind.” Heidi confidently returned outside.

Rebecca wished she could be as certain of what to do.

Holly grabbed a book off the shelf and handed it to Rebecca.
Practical Information for the Farm Wife
.

Rebecca turned several pages. Receipts. Advice on everything from laundry to pickling. Even something on how to tell which mushrooms were safe to eat. “I’m only a visitor, not a wife.”

“I’d say you are a temporary housewife.” Holly’s eyes sparkled. “Unless you decide you like it enough to make it permanent.”

Rebecca’s laughter contained regret. But that didn’t make any sense. She’d only agreed to go to the ranch until the orphanage was built and the orphans were safely housed. After that? Well, she’d like to see both Heidi and Gabriel in real homes with loving families before she left. But was that possible? Would she have to accept defeat in this area and leave them in the orphanage? Why did it hurt so much to think the answer was yes?

Her father would be expecting her to return home and resume her duties as a New York socialite—social events, charitable work, hostess of her father’s house. It was what she’d been raised to do.

Holly’s words echoed in her thoughts. What did
she
want?

“What does your heart say?” Holly asked.

“My heart says I don’t fit in with the Hayeses. I’m going to be a problem to everyone there.” She turned the book over in her hands. “But...”

“Exactly. You could learn. Prove you’re an asset.”

“Rather than a liability?” Still, she liked the idea. “I’ll do it. For Heidi.”

“And for yourself.”

Rebecca laughed. “And for myself. I’ll have to find Colton and let him know I’ve changed my mind.” Doubts clawed at her mind. “Maybe he will withdraw his invitation.”

Holly laughed.

“But before I go, I have to write a letter.” She’d ask her father to speak to his doctor about Mrs. Hayes. And she’d tell him she meant to extend her stay until she had completed her tasks. “Can I borrow pen and paper?”

Holly chuckled. “You’re going to use posting the letter as an excuse to find Colton and speak to him. My, my, aren’t you a schemer?”

A little later she left the children with Holly and crossed the town square to the post office. She couldn’t see the orphanage from there, but as the person responsible for the project, she had every right to check on the progress. She headed down Victory Street. Before she reached the corner, she saw lumber piled in the yard.
Thank You, God.
Perhaps this was a sign that things were going to be better from here on.

She turned the corner. When she saw Colton bent over a stack of lumber, her footsteps slowed. He’d seen how incompetent she was. Would he still be willing to put up with her simply to keep Gabriel close?
Lord God
— But she didn’t even know what to pray for. For courage to approach Colton? Maybe God was telling her it was time to go back home to the life she’d been raised to live.