Lingus (22 page)

I whacked Nikki's foot away from me and let out a deep sigh. "I thought your bitchy ass would be the last one."

"Me too," she agreed.

Nikki looked so different than what I was used to; she'd always been a happy person in her own way. She wasn't all shits and giggles like Zoey. She was the calm and collected type underneath her tough layer. Nicole was very serious and determined on whatever task she had ahead of her but recently things had changed. Her facial expressions, energy, and just everything about her now radiated light, love, and all that other great, corny stuff she'd never believed in. I couldn't count how many short relationships she'd been in over the last seven years, but it'd been a lot and she had never, ever been like this. Not even close.

If she were any other person, I'd be bitter with resentment at the level of happiness she'd obtained but this was my Nicole. She deserved all of this and more. I wouldn't belittle her into asking for reassurance with her decision because I knew her. When the entire world might be crumbling in chaos, Nikki was the epitome of solid and steady. She knew exactly what the hell she was doing.

Hence, why we were both desperately trying to get drunk and stay drunk as quickly as possible.

Calum and Tristan had left a couple hours before, and I thought we were both feeling it in our own ways, but I could only begin to imagine how Nikki must have been feeling. She was marrying someone who was going off to "bone bitches," as she'd eloquently put it earlier. She gave him her blessing because she understood that he kind of had to go since he'd already made his commitments. She was not one to break her promises but by the glazed over look in her eye, that knowledge and acceptance was eating away at her.

My friendship was eating away at me.

I cried last night for at least half an hour after Tristan dropped me off. It wasn't pretty
at
all
. I was a sloppy mess when I cried. Big gasps, snot everywhere, body heaving: the works. Matlock freaked out and hid under my bed until I got myself under control. Almost as if she knew what I was doing, Nikki sent me a text message a little while afterward demanding that I spend the weekend with her.

"Let's go get haircuts and blow some money on cupcakes tomorrow. What do you say?" she suggested with a slow waggle of her eyebrows.

"Deal," I accepted without a second thought. The key to our hearts was through cupcakes. Stuffing our faces was a tried and true method in healing our souls. There was also something about getting a haircut, regardless of whether you cut off an inch or six that just made you feel better about yourself.

Nikki smiled at me sadly, before plopping her foot way too close to my face. "I hate feeling like this," she moaned in misery.

"I know, Nik. I can't even imagine—," I told her simply, knowing she'd understand what I was trying to express. I couldn't imagine how she felt. I could barely contain my own emotions, but somehow voicing them made them seem so much more painful and harsh.

"And you, you asshole. What's going on with Tristan? I saw you all snuggled up at the bar."

I snorted because I figured it was the only reasonable noise to express. "There is nothing going on, trust me. He just wants to be friends, and I'm not going to try to force anyone to be with me, you know?"

"Of course I do," she rolled her clear, blue eyes. "You're better than that. I better not ever hear you trying to make anyone be with you, K. Any guy would be lucky to have you. It kills me enough to know that you're pining away for Robby, I mean Tristan—"

"I'm not pining away for him!" I said a little too loudly and indignantly.

"Is that why you're always hanging out with him?" she asked, smiling smugly when I didn't bother responding. "K, don't you waste your time on him when he doesn't want the same thing you do. At least, don't waste all of your time on him hoping that something will come out of it. You need to live your life, too. Okay?"

I saw the reasoning in her words because they made a lot of sense. What was I going to do? Waste away years of my life on a guy I liked hoping that he'd see me as more than a friend at some point? Is that the life I wanted to live? A part of me screamed,
yes!
Tristan was worth it. The other half yelled back,
no!
Life was too short to wait around.

"Okay," I agreed with her. There wasn't a point in disagreeing, she was completely right.

She gulped down the last bit of her martini in a way that was anything but feminine. "I love you, and I want you to be happy, Kat. I know he makes you happy, but I just don't want you to get your heart broken. It isn't fair he gets to go off and bang other girls while you sit around and wait for him to pull his head out of his ass. You need to get laid," she enunciated in a sing-song voice. I knew she was well on her way to being drunk. She didn't sing-song. Ever.

"I love you too, Nikki. So much," I grinned, flicking her big toe. "You're fucking right too, what does he think I am? His girlfriend? I can do whatever I please."

"Hell yeah, you can!" she cheered on from the other side of the sofa. "I'm going to need to live through you from now on, Kitty!"

I made my face relax and go blank. I wanted to lay it on her when she was least expecting it. "I'm not planning on sleeping with any gay guys though, Nik."

"Bitch! One time! It happened one time! I didn't know he was gay!"

Chapter 32

I should've known that something was terribly wrong when I woke up to Nicole singing along to Alanis Morissette at ten in the morning while showering.

It was the Jagged Little Pill album and I groaned. If there was ever an anthem for pissed off females, it would be that one.

Then she played it again in the car. Over and over again.

The last time she went on an Alanis binge was four years ago when she found out her boyfriend at the time, Jeremy, was cheating on her. One day of "You Oughta Know" on repeat later, she'd slept with his best friend. On her ex's bed. Even my heart hurt after that. So, I knew enough to be a little worried about her emotions. Where Zoey and I would cry in frustration and sadness when something bothered us, Nikki didn't. I didn't even think she had tear ducts, honestly.

We made it through our haircuts without a hitch, bought our cupcakes without anyone getting murdered, and then we blew money shopping. I really tried my best not to spend a lot of money randomly, but with the hangover I was nursing and the way my poor heart felt constricted— I deserved the little bit of happiness I got from buying clothes. It didn't help that Tristan had been sending me sporadic text messages throughout the day with jokes. By the time I'd woken up to Nicole's rendition of "Ironic," I had two texts sitting in my inbox for over two hours from him.

Kat, when did Anakin's Jedi teachers know he was going bad?

In the Sith grade.

I thought about just ignoring him, but I didn't want to be petty. I also lacked a backbone, so I sent him the only Star Wars joke I knew off the top of my head.

Why does Leia wear buns on her head?

In case she gets hungry in a Senate meeting!

I didn't get a response from him until a few hours later, which made my stomach groan, but every time I picked up my phone to check it, Nikki would start slapping the screen obnoxiously to get me off of it. By the time I got another message from him, he had sent me three in a row.

Which star wars character works at a restaurant?

Darth waiter ha ha ha

Am I annoying?

The last message had been sent over an hour before while we were at Macy's. Nikki had slipped into the fitting room to try on a dress that looked more like a shirt, so I took advantage of her absence to make myself more miserable by responding.

Only on days that end in a y, mag.

Hours passed and I didn't hear from him. I tried not to wonder what he was doing, or better yet who he was doing but it was impossible. Everything reminded me of him and it was horrible. It was worse than my obsession with my first boyfriend in high school, and it was so far off from the person I was now that it bothered me a great deal. I really wished that Zoey would have been around because she always brightened my day. Now it was just me and Nicole doing our best to fight off the constant urge to vomit. We were pathetic bitches— this was a fact.

I wasn't much of drinker. I only did it socially and very rarely enough to get me halfway drunk, but that night, just like the night before with our endless supply of chocolate martinis, Nikki dragged me out of her loft to some trendy, new gay club downtown to meet up with Josh while she blasted more Alanis through her speakers. I was a little scared. I hadn't seen her reach for her phone very often, and I was a little worried of the repercussions. She kept playing with the ring on her hand absently while she drove, or sat, or just breathed in general.

"Is it cheating if I dance with someone?" she asked once we were seated at a table as far away from the speakers as possible.

"No way!" I had to yell back at her. For the record, under normal circumstances I would probably tell her
yes
because I'd seen Nikki dance. She gave strippers a run for their money, but taking into consideration how miserable she was and what exactly her future husband was doing, she definitely had some leeway on the things that could be considered appropriate. Honestly, I was glad that she hadn't called up some guy to have vengeful sex, but I guessed that her self-control was a sign as to how serious she really was about Calum. It made me tear up a little, but I would never tell her that. Also, she was going to dance with gay guys, which was probably safer than dancing with a woman, at least at this club.

"Ladies!" Josh whooped out later on as he sauntered over to our table. He frowned at us as he got closer. "Why do both of you look like hell?"

Nicole didn't miss a beat and rolled her eyes. "Why do you look like you've gained weight?"

"Rude!" he exclaimed, patting his soft but flat stomach through the thin material of his lavender button-up shirt. "Who wants to get jiggy with me?"

I groaned at his words before he grabbed my hand and dragged me toward the dance floor with Nikki trailing behind me. Somehow, we ended up in a sandwich with Josh as the sandwich meat. It was hot and at some point, I got pushed into the middle of the two, ricocheting off their gyrating bodies. It also didn't help that the cheap bastards who owned the club kept the temperature up high so we were sweating our asses off after only a couple of songs. I felt like I was there with them in spirit but my mind felt a million meters away, like I was a balloon tethered to a fence by a mile-long string.

At some point later on, Josh kept turning around to talk to a big guy standing behind him. His expression went from pleasant to annoyed, and then pissed off.

"What's wrong?" I leaned into his ear to ask.

"This queen won't take no for an answer," he explained, pointing at the guy who was still standing behind him looking like a complete creep.

As I was leaning in again to talk into his ear, Josh's eyes went wide like saucers, and he spun around faster than I thought physically possible to shove the man back. I was an idiot — let's get this straight — so I didn't move an inch as I watched the big guy shove Josh back toward me. A split second later, my blonde friend threw up his hand and reared his arm back to throw a fist in his stalker's direction.

The unfortunate part?

My head was in the same spot his elbow needed to be.

Chapter 33

"Quit touching my face!" I spat out, swatting Josh's trembling hand away.

"I'm so sorry, Booger!" the poor guy cried out while reaching for my face with his fingertips again.

I wasn't mad at him, but I was mad at the fact that I got elbowed right smack under my eye. My cheekbone was throbbing and tender, so the touching wasn't helping any. The one thing I was glad about: even though he got me in the face, Josh didn't stop. He went ahead and punched the guy right in the jaw before turning around to make sure I was okay. Thank God. I would've been pissed to not only be collateral damage, but to also be collateral damage in something that wasn't worth it. The-Day-that-Josh-Wheeler-Punched-A-Guy-While-Also-Elbowing-Kat-In-The-Face would go down in the record books as monumental.

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Nicole asked from my other side, bending at the knee to get a closer look at my damaged face.

Going to the hospital was the last thing I wanted to do. Besides being an unnecessary expense, how dumb would I look going into the emergency room with a black eye I got from my gay best friend at a gay bar? Yeah, no.

"No way," I told her, covering my cheekbone with my hand while we made our way to her car. Right after the punch/elbow, we hustled out of the club to avoid Nikki going to jail for getting into a fight with the big guy who had been harassing Josh.

"You might have a concussion," Josh piped up.

I snickered. "There is no way in hell you hit me hard enough to give me a concussion."

"I hit you hard enough to bust up your face!" he interjected, a scandalous look crossing his features like he couldn't believe that I doubted his physical power.