Listen To Me: A Rock Star Romance (True North) (2 page)

TWO

KAREN

             
Putting my intense, hormonal, mean mood to good use, I decided to follow-up with Adrian’s brother to make sure he’d show at Cilla’s birthday party on Sunday.

             
“Crotch Rockets,” the guy who answered the phone said.

“Is this Trent Daniels?”
I asked. Adrian’s brother owned some kind of motorcycle business. After the band broke up, he wanted nothing to do with music, or Adrian.

“Depends,” the guy said.

“On what? You’re either Trent Daniels, or you’re not. Which is it?”

“Well, let’s see. If you’re someone I’ve slept with in the past calling to tell me you have an STD or I’m the father of your child—born or unborn—you have the wrong guy.”

What the… “Sorry to disappoint you, but my illegitimate baby is your brothers!”

“Oh,” he said after a pause. “You’re Karen.”

“You’re Trent.”

“I’m Trent who’s had a string of crazy-ass ex’s contacting him lately.”

“I see. Well, the purpose for my call is to confirm that you’re coming to Santa Cruz on Sunday for the Wrong Direction reunion.”

“Don’t know if I can make it, babe. That’s what I told your baby daddy.”

“My… Wait a minute. He’s not my baby daddy. He’s--”

“Are you married?” he asked, cutting me off.

“No.”

“Baby daddy.”

Oh my God. My life was turning into a Jerry Springer episode. “Whatever. What’s it going to take to get you there on Sunday?”

“I don’t know. You got any hot friends you want to hook me up with?”

“You’re not coming across as the type of guy I’d fix up a friend with, to be honest.”

“Hot enemies?” He laughed. “
I was messing with you anyway. Shoot me the time and the address. I’ll see if I can make it.”

He’d see if he could make it. It didn’t sound promising. “Great,” I said, keeping the irritation out of my voice the best that I could.

I hung up with him feeling confused and frustrated. Baby daddy indeed.

Without thinking and questioning what I was doing, I pulled up a realty site online and began browsing the listings. There was nothing that said I had to live here in Adrian’s penthouse.
The last thing I wanted was the gossip magazines saying I trapped him with the pregnancy.

Baby daddy. The words echoed in my ears.

I mean, there was no reason not to
live here, other than the lack of space, but lately there were times during the day when I couldn’t get enough oxygen in my lungs and thought I might suffocate.

He couldn’t want me. I was the woman you spent the night with after buying her copious amounts of alcohol at a bar. I was fiercely independent and didn’t get bogged down with things like having to check in with someone who might worry if I was running late. I wasn’t girlfriend material.

I wasn’t mother material, but that ship had sailed and I committed myself to giving it my all. Diving into another commitment was sending my brain into overload.

I pushed
away from the desk and let my head fall back, my eyes close and my chest expand with the effort of calming down before I blew a gasket. I thought after all these months that I was ready, but Adrian never wanted to discuss the baby or our future. He always brushed issues away with some catch phrase, like: “It’s all good, babe!” or “We got this, babe, no worries.” But,
how
did we have this?
How
would it all be good?  I needed concrete words and solid plans. Before I moved in, Adrian didn’t keep more than an expired bottle of Pepto Bismol in his fridge and I was no better. I once had a fish that only lived for two weeks because I forgot I bought it. How could the two of us raise a baby?

I lowered my head and rubbed my eyes before opening them to a sight that made tears prickle and fall through my lashes. Adrian’s screen saver was a close up of a father and a little girl’s linked hands as they walked on the beach.

He killed me. How could someone who seemed so clueless with his, “It’s all good, babe!”, every time I wanted to talk, hold so much emotion in his heart? Why couldn’t he share that depth with me and make me as confident as he was? How did he know it would be okay? Why was I the only one freaking out? What did he know that I didn’t?

“Babe? I’m home!” Adrian called from the foyer.

I closed his laptop and jumped to my feet, straightening my hair and wiping my eyes. “Be right there!” I called back. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me like this and realize he was living with a nut job. So far, I covered my almost debilitating self-doubt with smiles and bitchy baby hormones.

“There you are,” he said, striding into the
bedroom office and sweeping me into his arms. “How was your day? Did the chicklet practice kung fu with your bladder again?” he asked, palming my enormous stomach.

“Of course.” I stroked his cheek, feel
ing the slight stubble growing back from this morning’s shave. He smelled of hair product and mint gum and something sweet and warm that I could only identify with him.

I rose on my toes and pressed my lips to his, closing my eyes and inhaling through my nose, deeper than I had all day. His arms circled me and held me tight, as close as the baby would let us get.

It was times like these—times when the screaming doubt in my head subsided—when I never wanted him to let go of me. “I missed you today,” I said, feeling the absolute truth of my words rush through me. I never thought I’d need someone else to be my rock, but that’s what Adrian was. When he wasn’t around I was all tears and hyperventilating. God, I hoped this passed after the potato sack was born. I didn’t want to walk around with my nerves on edge for the rest of my life.

“I missed you too,” he said, kissing my forehead. “And you,” he said to my stomach, bending to give it a kiss. “Do we really have to wait four more weeks? They told us that a baby had all its parts at thirty-six. Can’t they take her out now?”

“No!” I took a step back and he smiled at me, straightening to his full height.

“Don’t be afraid of the delivery,” he said, taking my hands. “I’ll be there with you and before we know it, she’ll be here.”

I don’t think I’d ever seen a person look as happy as Adrian with the gleam in his blue eyes and the grin spreading across his tan face. Even his hair seemed to glow. I thought I was supposed to be the one glowing.

“I am afraid.”

“Hey,” he said, pulling me back in and putting his arms around me. “That’s what the Lamaze class is for next weekend. Right?”

Lamaze! “Shit! Adrian, I forgot to sign us--”

“Shh…” He put a finger over my lips. “It’s taken care of. I got us in the all day Saturday class.”

Again, my heart rate slowed to normal. “You did? How did you know I’d forget?
I never forget anything.”

“You’ve been stressed
lately and that’s normal. You have a lot on your mind. Didn’t you read the pregnancy book I bought you?”

I bit my lip, hating to admit I hadn’t.
I flipped through the pages, saw a few illustrations and fought of the urge to hide in the closet crying. “No.”

“Well, I did. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. Your job is to be in expectant mother bliss. My job is to make sure you are, so come here.” He took my hand, led me into the master bathroom and started the water in the whirlpool bathtub. “
Strip for me, babe. I want to remember you with that beautiful baby belly for as long as I live.”

He alternated lighting candles and watching me undress, holding his arms out to me once I was completely naked. I padded over to him, my bare feet cool on the tile floor. He held the sides of my stomach in his hands and ran his eyes over me from head to toe, reverent. “
When you told me you were pregnant, I wasn’t sure what you would say next. We’d only known each other a little while and you could’ve easily not told me at all and taken care of it without me ever knowing. Instead, I’m sitting here with my hands on you, feeling my unborn baby inside you.” He took a shaky breath. “I never thought about having a kid. I mean, I figured someday… But this is insanely amazing, Kay. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a dad.”

Too many thoughts and words and emotions rushed to the surface. I opened my mouth and only a sob came out. I slapped my hand over my mouth and felt the tears again, falling down my cheeks that had t
o have grooves carved in them from all the crying I’d done lately.

How could he be so wonderful and how could I be so insecure about him, us, the baby and everything our future held?

Adrian

              She wasn’t fooling me. Karen might not open up and confess her deepest, darkest fears, but she was scared shitless to have the chicklet. All I could hope was that tomorrow at her baby shower, she’d be happy and Bess would boost her confidence.

             
I lathered a cloth with body wash and rubbed it over her belly, up under her breasts. Kay had amazing breasts and they were even fuller since she was pregnant. My hands wouldn’t stay off of them. Her nipples were darker, more a plum than a deep pink that they  had been, and they were larger. Watching her body change over the months she’d been pregnant with the chicklet was like being initiated into some religious cult where God let you in on the secrets of life that only other dads got to witness firsthand.

The fe
male body was amazing. All a man’s body did was make a deposit. Woman’s body nurtured and protected, grew and reshaped. I always knew the basics, of course, but really thinking about what was going in inside Kay and seeing the change happen day after day was nothing I expected and I definitely didn’t expect to be so awe-stricken. “No wonder women can bring men to their knees,” I said, lifting her foot and massaging her instep.

A crease cut through the center of her forehead as her eyes roamed her body. “What
are you talking about? I’m huge! I’ll never get this ass to go away and the stretch marks and--”

I shut her up with a kiss. Her lips were wet and salty from all the tears she’d cried and her cheeks and chin were slick from the bathwater. “I love your ass,” I said, wrapping my arm around her to get a handful of it.

She let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re getting all wet.”

I whipped my t-shirt off over my head and threw it across the bathroom. “You worry about the silliest things,” I said. “Like stretch marks. What mom
doesn’t
have them? You have a growing
person
inside you.”

She looked up at me with her blue eyes searching, like she was trying to see inside me or thorough me. “What?” I said.

“You can’t be seen with a stretch-marked fat ass. You’re Adrian!”

A door slammed
inside my head. Or maybe it swung open and crashed into a wall. “The reason you’re so freaked out about your body is because of
me?
”

She sat up, sending a wave of water up over the side. “See!” she screamed, pounding her palms on the surface of the water, splashing more out of the tub. “I move and it’s like an elephant submerged in a lake! I can’t touch my toes! I can’t even shave my freaking crotch!”

“I thought you went and got waxed,” I said, running my fingertips from her knee, up her inner thigh, between her legs. She was a little prickly, but hair on a woman never bothered me.

She grabbed my hand and pulled it away. “I’m not letting anyone see me like this! There’s no way I’m going to get waxed!”

Being irrational wasn’t like un-pregnant Kay. The closer we got to the chicklet’s due date, the crazier she became.

I took her hands and stood up. “Come here.”

She tried to let go, but I squeezed tight. She rolled her eyes and pulled herself up, grimacing as I wrapped my arms around her and lifted her out of the water. “Light as a feather,” I said.

“Whatever,” she grumbled.

I scooped her legs up and carried her to the bed. “I’m all wet,” she said, as I settled her in the middle.

“Don’t move.” I strode back into the bathroom and came out with a razor and shaving cream.

“What are you doing?” she asked, eyeing me like I was insane.

“You can’t reach your crotch.” I crawled up from the bottom of the bed and pushed her legs apart. “Luckily,
I can.”

“No way!” She tried to close her legs, but I planted my
shoulders between her knees and wasn’t planning on moving. “You’re not getting anywhere near my—put the razor down!”

“I shave my face every day. I know how to do this.” I wrapped my arms aroun
d her thighs and lowered my face to her pussy, keeping my eyes on hers over the chicklet’s mound of belly. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever been with,” I said, teasing her pussy lips open with my tongue.

She arched her back and dropped her head onto the pillow. “This isn’t shaving,” she said, her voice husky.

“I couldn’t help myself. You smell so good, I had to have a lick.” I prodded her clit with the tip of my tongue, rubbing in circles, and slid a finger inside her. She moaned and slid her fingers through my hair. I could practically feel her melting into the bed.