Little Black Girl Lost (11 page)

“D
o you remember me sayin' we gotta be smart about this usin' thing?” Johnnie asked.

“Yeah.”

“I've been thinkin' about this for a while, ever since Earl mentioned investing my money. If we're smart, we can be rich one day. If we can just be smart about it.”

“What are you talkin' about, girl? You're talkin' in riddles.” Marguerite frowned.

“It's like you said earlier, Mama. Men will do just about anything for sex, but if you do to them what they do to you, they cain't handle it. For all of their brawn and brute strength, they're emotional weaklings. I'm learning to use and control them without them knowing it. I'm learning to make them do things I want them to do. And get this. I make them think it was their idea.”

“Girl, women have been doin' that to men for centuries. That ain't nothin' new. What are you going to do that hasn't been done?”

“Well, women may have been doing it for centuries, but I'm just startin' to understand this thing. So, the first thing I'm gonna do is be picky. I'll make the choice, not them. I'll only deal with men who have something to offer.”

“Details?”

“I mean I'll choose men who have something I need, no matter what that something is. Take Martin. He wants me, but he knows he has to teach me what he knows first. That's what I mean. I cain't afford to just take their money and be satisfied. What good is money if you don't know what to do with it? That's why you were upset earlier, right?”

“Right. That and that big-ass house you have.” Marguerite nodded her head. “But what if all they have is money? What then?”

“If all they have is money, we charge 'em more. If they cain't afford us, too bad. This is business, and we gotta think of ourselves as businesswomen, not whores.”

Marguerite listened to her daughter.
She certainly is smart. Why couldn't I think like that when I was her age? Ain't no tellin' where I'd be now if I had.

“The second thing I'll do is be fickle. When they've served their purpose, I'll cut 'em loose and move on.”

“Yeah, but what if he doesn't want to let you go?”

“Then I'll use whatever methods I need, up to and including callin' his wife, his mother, or his priest if I have to.”

Marguerite laughed. “Girl, you somethin' else.”

Johnnie looked her mother in the eyes and said, “Mama, this is serious. I've made up my mind. There's a better world out there for people with the know-how and the guts to live good. Look around you. Here we are relaxing by the pool, being waited on hand and foot. And how much is this costin' you?”

“Nothin',” Marguerite said.

“Me neither. But it's costin' Earl something. And that's what we have to do. We make them pay for everything. In return, we give them whatever they cain't get at home. I don't see myself livin' the way we lived ever again.”

Marguerite nodded her head slowly. She had already formulated a plan to get more money out of Richard Goode.
It's not like he can get what I give him from anybody. I know what he likes and how to give it to him.

“The third thing I've got to do is learn to talk the way my new neighbor does. I notice you have a little
savoir faire
around white people too.”

“That's because I don't want white people to think I'm just some ol' uneducated nigga, so I make sure I speak real good around them.”

“Well, we gotta learn to do it regularly. We gotta remember this is a business. As businesswomen, we gotta do the things that business people do. We gotta talk the way business people talk. That means we gotta keep our eyes and ears open and learn all we can from people who know things we don't. And—”

“Johnnie, do you really think this'll work?” Marguerite asked.

“Do you want to keep livin' where you livin', wishin' you was livin' in Ashland Estates?”

“No.”

“Then you better do something to make a better life for yourself.”

“Telephone call for Johnnie Wise,” the bellhop repeated a few times.

“Over here,” Johnnie said, raising her hand.

The bellhop brought the telephone to her and plugged it in.

“Hello.”

“Where have you been?” Earl demanded. “I've been calling your room for hours. Then it occurred to me that you might be enjoying the amenities of the hotel.”

Johnnie looked at her mother and rolled her eyes.

“Who is it?” Marguerite mouthed.

“Earl, honey,” she said and rolled her eyes again, “I'm just relaxin' a little. You comin' by?”

“No, I just wanted you to know that I talked with the men fixing the house and they're going to put a rush on the job. You should be able to move in next weekend.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he said. “Did you get a chance to look for some furniture and things like that?”

“I went to Sears this morning and the store detective harassed me. If it wasn't for the store manager, he might have raped me in his office.”

“I'm sorry. I'll speak to the manager before I leave tonight.”

“Leave? Where you goin'?”

“Didn't I tell you? I have to go to Chicago tonight. West is having some big meeting and he wants me to go with him.”

“When will you be back?”

“In a couple of weeks.”

“A couple of weeks,” she repeated, attempting to sound disappointed.

“You sound disappointed.”

“I am, Earl,” she said, trying to keep from smiling. “But what am I going to do for money? I don't have any furniture or food or nothin'. By the time you get back, I want you to be able to come home to a good meal and a place to lay your head.”

“How about I stop by the hotel before we go to the airport and give you some money to take care of everything?”

“That would be great, Earl,” Johnnie said, looking at her mother. “You think you'll have enough time to give me a little tonight, just to tide me over 'til you get back in a couple of weeks?”

“I'll try, okay?”

“What about the hotel bill? Will you be able to take care of that too?”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“I hate to be pushy, honey, but you know I want some nice furniture, right?”

“I know, Johnnie,” he said, speaking in hushed tones. “I gotta go now.”

“You know it takes a lot of time to get around this city on public transportation.”

“No way. I'm not buying you a car,” Earl said through clenched teeth. “Now, I gotta go.”

He hung up. Johnnie heard a second click, then put the receiver back on the telephone. She ignored the extra click and said to her mother, “See, that's how it's done.”

“Girl, you somethin' else.” Marguerite laughed. “You remind me so much of my mother. So, is he goin' to get you a car?”

“Not yet, but he will.”

“S
o, Earl's goin' to Chicago, huh?” Marguerite asked.

“Yeah. Said he's got some business meetin' to go to with his father-in-law.”

“You sound like you don't believe him.”

“I don't. Earl is a liar, Mama. He's always been a liar, and he'll always be a liar. He may be tellin' the truth now, but chances are he's lyin'. Probably got some black woman in Chicago to see. Who knows?”

“What are you goin' to do while he's gone?”

“Enjoy myself for a change. It'll be good to know he's gone for a couple of weeks while I get my house together. I'm going to Sears tomorrow and buy me some furniture.”

“The way they treated you, why would you go back to Sears?”

“Because I have stock in the company, remember? If I buy from the companies I've invested in, it'll be like shoppin' on a permanent discount.”

“How can I get some of them investments?” Marguerite asked.

“Just give me your money and I'll get you the stocks. I'll even show you everything I learn from Martin. That way you can do it yourself. Some day, I might just become a stockbroker and open my own brokerage firm. Just think! If I did that, I'll have access to my own little market.”

“What do you mean?”

“How many colored folks do you know that invest their money?”

“None.”

“Me neither. There's the market right there. If I can learn this stock market thing, get some colored folks to invest, I could make a fortune.”

“Okay, so when can we invest what I have now?”

“How much do you have?”

“About six or seven thousand dollars.”

“What?”

“Yeah, about that much.”

Johnnie took her shades off again and stared at her mother. She knew Earl had paid her mother to have her, but she had no idea how much money Marguerite was being paid.

Sensing her daughter's wrath, Marguerite innocently asked, “What's wrong with you?”

“What the fuck do you think is wrong with me?” Johnnie said so spontaneously that she didn't realize she had sworn for the first time in her young life. The words just came out of her like a powerful, unpredictable hurricane.

“Don't you curse me, girl,” Marguerite growled.

“Curse you? Is that all you can say? Pray that I don't drown yo' good for nothin' ass in this pool.”

Marguerite was amazingly cool, calm, and collected. She took a sip of her iced tea and said, “Ahhhh. This tea sho' hits the spot on a blisterin' hot day like today, don't it?”

“Mama, if you don't tell me somethin' and I mean tell me somethin' quick, I won't be responsible for my actions.”

“Tell you what, girl?”

“Don't play dumb, Mama,” Johnnie said, unable to contain the contempt she felt. “You told me Earl paid for everything that day.”

“He did.”

“How much did Earl pay for me, Mama?”

“A lot.”

“Mama, if you don't start givin' me some answers, and I mean right now, cursin' you will be the least of your worries.”

“You threatenin' me, girl?”

“If you don't tell me what I wanna know, so help me God, I'll choke the livin' shit outta you! And I mean it!”

“You serious, huh?”

Johnnie stood to her feet and calmly said, “I won't ask you again.”

“Okay, okay,” Marguerite said nervously. “Sit down. People are starin'.”

Johnnie eased back into her lawn chair and put her shades back on. “Now, how much did he pay you that first time?”

“Hear me out, okay? Just hear me out is all I ask.”

“Will you get on with it?”

“Earl offered me five hundred, but I got him up to a thousand because you were a virgin.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, but I just wanted you to know I didn't let you go cheap.”

Johnnie just shook her head in disbelief and said, “So, where did all the money come from?”

“I've been savin' for years. Ever since the depression.”

“So, what you're tellin' me is you didn't have to sell me at all, right?”

“Yeah, I did,” she said sincerely. “The money was an excuse, but you needed to learn how men operate. You needed to learn what they think of women and how to handle yourself.”

“And it never occurred to you to let me learn some things on my own?”

“You have learned some things on your own, Johnnie,” she said, almost proud. “Look at you now. You're a beautiful young woman with a beautiful home, some money in your purse, and the knowledge of how to get more. You're doing better than I did when I was sixteen. You oughta be grateful.”

“Grateful?”

“You goddamn right,” Marguerite said with conviction. “Where would you be right now if it wasn't for me? You wouldn't be in this nice hotel. You wouldn't know Martin Winters. You wouldn't have all these stocks and shit. And you certainly wouldn't have all these grandiose plans, would you?”

“So, let me get this straight. I'm supposed to be grateful for bein' introduced to a life of whoredom?”

“A life of business, remember?”

Johnnie laughed sardonically and said, “Do you have any idea what my plans were before you did this to me?”

“I suppose you're going to tell me you were a visionary before I helped you see the light.”

“So, no matter what I say, you're going to justify what you did and pat yourself on the back for doin' it. This is unbelievable.”

“Believe it,” Marguerite said, feeling sure of herself. “I did what I thought was best for you. And if I could make a few nickels for doin' it, why not? Now you won't ever have to fall in love with the first man who fucks you like so many foolish women do.”

“You mean like you, Mama?”

“I mean exactly like me. You don't have to like it, but you need to quit lookin' backward and start lookin' forward. Life is full of ups and downs, Johnnie. Remember that. And stop all this cryin' you do all the time. You're going to have to learn to be stronger than that. You've got your whole life in front of you. If you don't like what I taught you, then stop. If you do, then follow your plan. You've got something my own mother didn't have.”

“What's that?”

“Vision. You've got vision, Johnnie, and a brain to go along with it. Besides, whatever you wanted to do before is still available to you. But whatever you do from this point forward is your own doin'. Don't blame me for the rest of your life. Instead, do what you will. Make the best of what you've learned.”

“I wanted to be an evangelist, Mama. How am I gonna do that now?”

“Some of the best saints were the worst sinners. If you want to be an evangelist, be one. Don't let whatever mistakes you think I made stop you from being who you wanna be.”

Johnnie was silent for a few moments, considering Marguerite's ideology.

“Mama, are you ever going to tell me who this guy is that brings you to the Savoy?”

“No. A woman always has secrets, Johnnie. Remember that.”