Little Scarlet (25 page)

That was the likeliest solution to a dispute in the black community at that time. If black men had a problem with each other they rarely went to the police. The law didn’t care unless it had to do with white skin or money. Black men settled their own disagreements.

“No ma’am. What Harold’s done has to be made public. He’s killed women,” I said.

“Oh no. No.”

“I don’t even know how many. But he has to be stopped. Because if he isn’t he’ll keep on until he dies.”

Honey started to cry. I got the feeling that she’d been expecting my visit for many years, that she knew the potential tragedy wrapped up in Harold’s hurting heart. But what could she have done with her gentle nature and chocolate skin, her mild demeanor and giant eyes? She was just an exotic witness, an angel, maybe, with no say over the actions of men.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Rawlings. Did he hurt someone close to you?”

“Not really. But since I’ve been looking for him I’ve seen things that were just as bad as the war.” I paused and then asked, “Do you know where I can find him?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you, Mr. Rawlings. You know, I carried that boy in my arms when he couldn’t even crawl.”

“He’s a man now, Miss May. And men have to stand on their own two feet.”

“But he’s had it so hard,” she argued. “You know that no white judge is gonna care about what happened to him.”

“Do you have a daughter, Miss May? Or a mother or sister?”

She smiled but it was as if I had reached into her breast and wrenched the grin out against her will.

“Right here.” She walked over to a shelf near the window and took down a brass frame containing a Polaroid photograph of a young woman cut from her mold. “Sienna May. She married a man named Helms but we all still call her Sienna May ’cause it sounds right.”

I stood up and went over to the window. I took the frame from the big woman’s hand and admired it. Then I turned it so that she could see it.

“If Helms was a white man Howard would have choked your girl until her eyes and tongue was poppin’ outta her head,” I said. “She’d be cold and dead as a Christmas ham in the icebox. And there’d be a dozen other girls layin’ right up in there next to her.”

Honey grabbed the picture from my hand.

“No!” she said.

“Yes,” I replied. “That’s just what I said when I realized it almost a year ago. And when I went to the cops and told ’em they said that I must’ve been mistaken, no vagabond could get around them like that. Now there’s another woman dead. And I’m askin’ you to help me stop Harold.”

“But why should I believe you, Mr. Rawlings?”

“Because you know the man I’m talkin’ about. You know where he comes from and what he might do. You see him doin’ just what I say and you know why.”

Honey May let herself fall onto the sofa. She looked down at her lap and tears fell from her eyes. She shook her head and her shoulders slumped forward.

“It’s my fault too,” she said. “I knew his mama was colored the minute I laid eyes on her. But I never said so. I didn’t argue when she hinted that things would go better for Harold if people thought that I was his mother. But I never lied to Harold. I told him that Miss Ostenberg was his mother and I was just his big mama. I guess I shoulda taken him wit’ me when I left. But you know I didn’t have the strength.”

“Did he come to you after he ran away?” I asked.

“He’d come stay with me and Sienna May now and then. But you know he was so wild. Most the time he was out in the street, livin’ in empty lots or shelters.”

“Didn’t the state come after him?”

“They did but Harold would just run away. They didn’t want him all that bad and he always looked older than he was. That’s because his face was so hard.”

“Do you know where I can find him, Miss May?”

“He comes by here once a year or so,” she said to the floor. “Last time was four or five months ago. He said that he liked the north side of Will Rogers Park because there was some good guys like to play dominoes there.”

“I won’t kill him, Miss May,” I said. “I want to but I won’t. I’ll just make sure the police get him.”

She looked up at me with those big eyes.

“I can tell that you’re a good man, Mr. Rawlings,” she whispered. “But I know Harold too. He wanna be good but he just don’t know how.”

“Do you have a picture of Harold that I can show to them?”

There was a tiny chest of three drawers next to the Murphy bed. She pulled open the middle drawer and took out a simple dark-wood frame. She handed this to me.

Harold was in his twenties when the picture had been taken, wearing a coat that was too large for him, probably borrowed from the portrait photographer. His eyes weren’t as dull and there was some hope in him at that moment. I wondered if he had already started murdering women then.

“Can I have it back when they’re through, Mr. Rawlings?” Honey May asked me.

“Just as soon as we’re through with it,” I said.

We looked at each other, both knowing what my words meant.

It was nearly ten at night. No domino players would be out that late. I drove back to my office and called home.

“Hello,” Feather said.

“What are you doing up so late, girl?” I asked the daughter of my heart.

“Daddy!” she shouted. “It’s you.”

“Sure it is, baby girl. Did you think I ran away?”

“I was scared that you were hurt down in the riot places.”

“No, baby. I’ve just been workin’ at my office. You know sometimes grown-ups have to work day and night.”

“But why can’t you come home, Daddy? I miss you.”

“I’ll be home when you wake up in the morning, baby. I promise.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart,” I said. “Is Bonnie there?”

“Uh-huh. Here.”

“Where are you, Easy?” Bonnie asked.

“At the office. What’s wrong?”

“A woman named Ginny Wright called at about eight. She said that Benita Flag had been looking around for sleeping pills. She tried to call Raymond but he wasn’t home. She said that you might want to know that.”

I took a deep breath. The world was feeling too big for me to handle. I wanted to go home and see my family. I wanted to sleep for a week. And when I got up I wanted to go to my job at Sojourner Truth Junior High School, mopping up spilled milk and checking to see that there was no litter in the schoolyard.

“I was gonna come right home, baby,” I said. “But I better look into this. Benita is one’a Raymond’s friends and she’s been under a lotta pressure lately.”

“That’s okay, Easy,” Bonnie cooed. “Jesus is here and he’s going to wait until you get back before he goes out on his boat again.”

WHEN NOBODY ANSWERED
I knocked the door in. If I was wrong about Benita I could always put it back on its hinges. Living poor and black had done many things for me. It had made me a plumber and a carpenter, an electrician and a mason. I could put in windows, take a car engine apart, pave a highway, or run a steam engine. Being poor made more out of many men than any Harvard or army could imagine.

Benita Flag was on her bed with white foam coming from her mouth. She didn’t respond to shaking or slaps or cold water in her face.

I could have called an ambulance but poverty had taught me a lesson about that too. I had her at Mercy in less than twelve minutes. They pumped her stomach and shot medicine in her veins. A doctor named Palmer told me that she was so close to death that he didn’t know if they had done enough.

“You did the right thing,” he told me.

“What good is doin’ the right thing if women are dyin’ whichever way I look?” I said.

I think the doctor was put off or worried by my words. But he patted my shoulder and showed me to a chair.

What else did I have to do? It was only one in the morning. I had many hours before I would set up watch at the domino tables at Will Rogers Park. Why not sit in a chair at the hospital, waiting to see if yet another woman had died?

THE EMERGENCY ROOM
at any hospital in the middle of the night is mainly made up of the consequences of love. Men and women and children with fearful parents. The men and women had gotten into fights over passionate jealousies and the children were there because their parents had nowhere to turn.

I watched a small boy with a purple bruise on his head drifting off to sleep but before he could go there his mother would shake him, saying, “You might have a concussion, honey. You got to stay up.”

Two men who had stabbed each other over a woman started fighting in the waiting room and the police had to be called to separate them.

With all that blood and worry I still fell asleep.

I WAS A
simple seaman on a great gray battleship going off to war far from America’s shores. It was my job to keep the hull bright and shiny and clean. I had thick rope riggings and a platform made from a single plank of oak. All I did day and night was scrub and swab the steel hull from top to bottom, from sunup to sundown. Once I’d cleaned the whole hull it was already dirty at the place where I started. So I’d begin again with no complaint or attempt to shirk my duty.

But after a long while and many, many revolutions of scrubbing I began to wonder why the boat had to be so clean when all it was made for was war. Why shine and glisten on the deep blue sea when it would only come to blood and the deaths of mothers’ sons? The sea would still run red, the skies would still resound with cannon. Then the shining hull would be a disgrace and my work would be scorned throughout history.

“Mr. Rawlins?”

It was a nurse.

“Yeah?”

“Miss Flag is awake now,” the middle-aged, gray-headed white woman said.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Sixteen after six.”

SHE LOOKED AWFUL
in that hospital bed. There were two other beds in the room. Each one had curtains to separate them but they weren’t drawn. In one bed was an elderly woman who kept babbling to herself. In the other lay one of the men who had been fighting in the waiting room. His color looked bad. There was a nozzle strapped to his nose, feeding him oxygen, I supposed, and three different intravenous drip sacks putting medicine into his arms. If he had a mother I prayed she didn’t see him like that.

“Easy,” Benita whispered. “Are you the one saved me?”

“I brought you here,” I said. “How you doin’, Benny?”

“I feel like a fool,” she said. “Please don’t tell nobody what happened.”

“Are you okay now?”

“Oh yeah. Can you imagine it? Taking them pills, tryin’ to kill myself over Raymond?”

“What made you do it?” I asked.

I pulled up a heavy chair with a metal frame.

“Have a seat,” the elderly patient said to the air.

“I don’t know, Easy. It just hurt so bad that I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up again. It was like I was in a dream, you know? I didn’t really think about dyin’, just goin’ to sleep. And then when I came to and the doctor asked me if I tried to kill myself I said no. And I meant it too. But I can see where everything been leadin’ to this. Everybody said that I was takin’ this thing with Raymond too hard but I told ’em that they didn’t understand. But I guess they did, huh?”

She was drifting a little bit but her words were clear and the burden of love had been lifted from her brow.

“It hurts when somebody you love is gone,” I said. “Imagine how your mama would feel if you turned up dead on the floor with foam comin’ outta your mouth.”

“Yeah.” She was looking up at me with wonderment in her eyes. “You saved my life, Easy Rawlins.”

“So what you gonna do with it now?”

“I don’t know.”

“You can come stay at my house a few days if you want,” I said. “We don’t have an extra room but there’s a couch you can sleep on. And my girlfriend will make sure you eat right and have somebody to talk to.”

Benita smiled and her face seemed to fill with health.

I called Bonnie and told her about the attempted suicide. I asked if we could put Benita up for a while.

“Doesn’t she have a mother?” Bonnie asked.

“I promised.”

“Okay,” Bonnie replied. “But she better understand that I don’t want any monkey business under my roof.”

I had breakfast at a diner on Success Avenue, soft-boiled eggs over toast. That’s what my mother fed me when I was sick. I also had tea with honey and only one cigarette. I ate and read the paper.

The riots were nearly over. There was only one article on the front page that referred to them and that was an argument between Chief Parker and Governor Brown. Brown thought that Parker hurt race relations in L.A., and Parker didn’t believe that his police department was guilty of brutality. Other than that, the space shot showed promise and might last eight days, the job prospect in the nation was the best since 1957, and the Vietcong had ambushed some South Vietnamese regulars.

There were no stories about Negro women being murdered by a deranged black man whose mother thought that she was white.

After I was finished I went down to the park benches where men gathered to play dominoes.

The tension from the riots was lifting around the city. People were on their way to work and mothers let their children come to the playground at the park. A few men gathered to play dominoes on the tables. None of them was Harold. I sat down on a slender bench under a tree and watched. I may have fallen asleep a few times because my watch said eleven and it hardly felt like nine-thirty to me. For a while I thought about asking the domino men if they knew Harold but then I decided against it. Someone might warn my quarry and then I would have driven him away.

“SEVENTY-SEVENTH PRECINCT.”
A woman’s voice this time.

“Detective Suggs, please.”

“Hold a moment.”

The phone rang.

“Detective Suggs.”

“I’ve got a picture of him,” I said. “I borrowed it from a woman that wants it back.”

“I’ll come over to pick it up,” he said.