Little White Lies (5 page)

“You hear anything about this class?” Ryan asked, directing his question to Paige.

Paige looked up and played with her pen. “Um, I read on FaceSpace that the teacher gives a lot of homework, but nothing too bad. And Sasha had her last year and the teacher was kind of tough.”

“You need to friend me,” Ryan said. “We chatted all summer and I don't even think we're friends. That's kind of wrong.”

“So wrong,” Paige said, smiling.

I hid my own grin. They'd be dating in no time. And Ryan seemed like a good guy, so I wasn't worried about
Paige. Ryan turned around when our teacher, Ms. Peterson, walked into the classroom.

“Hey, what were you about to say before?” Paige whispered.

“Nothing—tell you later,” I said.

“Welcome, class,” Ms. Peterson said, tucking a lock of her chin-length dark hair behind her ear. “Let's start with attendance and then we'll go through the syllabus. I want to make sure everyone is aware of the deadlines for important papers and projects from the beginning.”

She was going to be tough—she was last year. Ms. Peterson took attendance and then passed out papers to all of us.

Her syllabus was twenty-four pages long, in size-ten font and with tiny margins.

“First,” Ms. Peterson said. “Let me say that I do not tolerate lateness. If you're late—don't bother coming to my class. The same rule applies with papers and projects—if you miss a deadline, it's an automatic zero. No makeups.”

Everyone in the class was still. I surreptitiously capped my pink pen and traded it for a blue one. I had a feeling my paper would come back to me ripped into pieces if I turned it in with pink ink.

As I listened to Ms. Peterson, I glanced over at Paige's desk. She was drawing a tiny heart on the inside of her folder.
P & R
was written inside the heart.

Suddenly, I knew I couldn't tell Paige about Jacob. Not now. Not when she was just starting to like a guy herself. The focus should be on her for once—not my ever-present boy drama. I wasn't going to take away from her crush on Ryan. I had to handle this on my own.

My phone buzzed and I opened it to find a text from Callie.
Eric and I r in the same sci class. Cool, huh?

Awesome!
I wrote back. Ms. Peterson shifted toward my side of the room and I shoved my phone under my leg.

But maybe it wasn't so awesome. My best friend and boyfriend were in the same class—alone—every day. What if they somehow figured out that Jacob and I were acting weird and realized something had happened between us?

I caught Paige looking at me and I smiled at her. Suddenly, I was glad I'd signed up for theater. I had a feeling the acting lessons were going to come in handy.

BY THE TIME I WALKED TO THE STABLE FOR
my first YENT lesson, I was exhausted. I'd spent my lunch period in the bathroom, sitting in a locked stall and working on homework. I'd been too nervous about seeing Jacob at lunch to go. Thankfully, Callie had bought my excuse that I had to run to the admin office before my next class.

I passed Black Jack's stall at the stable. Callie's Morab gelding was snoozing in the back of his stall. I stopped and looked at him. Charm and I had both lost a teammate.

Jack walked up to me and put his head over the stall door. I scratched under his forelock, then rubbed his cheek. I'd never be able to make it up to Callie for what had happened. It wasn't my fault that Jacob had started
liking me again, I knew that, but I still felt bad. If Jacob hadn't been acting so weird, maybe Callie and I would be grooming our horses for practice right now. I'd
never
had a lesson without Callie.

Ever.

“See you later, boy,” I told Jack. I left him, grabbed Charm's tack, and went to his stall.

“Hi, guy,” I said to him.

I led him out and started grooming him in the crossties. My mind had just begun to wander when I heard hoofbeats clattering down the aisle. I looked up from brushing Charm's flank and Heather was glaring at me, holding a tacked-up Aristocrat.

“Do you think Mr. Conner will wait for you to show up, or what?” Heather asked.

“What?” I checked the giant wall clock near the grain room. “Omigod! We have to be there in two minutes! I totally spaced.”

I dropped Charm's body brush and scrambled to grab his tack from on top of the trunk in front of his stall.

“Obvi,” Heather said. She looked over her shoulder, then let go of Aristocrat's reins. “Give me Charm's bridle.” She held out her hand to me.

I tried to keep my mouth from falling open. “Thanks.”

“Oh, don't look at me like that. I'll deny it if you
ever
tell anyone I helped you. And I'm only doing it because I don't want the
real
Canterwood riders to ever look bad. No matter what Mr. Conner says, Jas is
not
part of our team.”

I didn't dare argue with her. Heather and Jas would never stop hating each other. No matter how long Jasmine was at Canterwood, Heather would always see her as an outsider.

Heather bridled Charm while I saddled him. I put on my helmet and we led both horses toward the exit.

“Really, thanks,” I said.

Heather rolled her eyes and walked faster. “You can stop talking to me now.”

I laughed under my breath and stopped Charm a few feet out of the stable. The sun hid behind fat, puffy clouds and a slight breeze tugged at Charm's mane. Heather and I mounted and let the horses walk toward the arena.

At the far end, Jasmine warmed up Phoenix. The gray gelding, sweating in the heat, moved perfectly under Jasmine. They looked even better than they had at YENT camp. I let Charm into a slow trot, forcing myself to focus and not worry about Jasmine and Heather.

But I couldn't stop sneaking glances at them. My old
insecurities about my riding abilities had hit me full force at YENT camp this summer. I'd felt alone without Callie in the arena. That anxiety was hitting me again and making my chest feel white-hot with panic.

Charm jerked his head and sidestepped. I pressed my right boot into him and moved him back to the arena wall. “Cool it,” I murmured to him. He strained against the reins, wanting to trot faster. I held him back and didn't let him out. This was just a warm-up.

Mr. Conner walked into the arena and motioned for us to line up in front of him. I angled Charm between Aristocrat and Phoenix.

“Hi, girls,” he said. “I don't want to waste time talking since you know how my lessons work.”

Charm, mouthing the bit, fidgeted and sidestepped—again—causing my boot to bump against Heather's.

“Sorry!” I said. My face, already flushed from the heat, turned what I was sure about five different shades of red as I sat deeper in the saddle and tried to quiet Charm with my hands.

“Go ahead and move out to the wall at a walk,” Mr. Conner said.

Jasmine, Heather, and I turned the horses away from Mr. Conner.

“Wow, Sasha,” Jasmine said, lowering her voice. “You benefitted so much from YENT camp—it's just ridic. I'm jealous.”

I ignored her and tried to look as if I didn't care.

But I did. And Jas knew it.

“Starting today,” Mr. Conner called. “I'm going to be treating some of the lessons as equitation practices.”

I didn't know whether to cheer or freak out.

“Remember that for equitation,” Mr. Conner continued. “My focus is on
you
, not your horse. I will be watching your hands, seats, and legs, and will comment on your horse only if he exhibits extraordinarily bad behavior.”

The good: Mr. Conner wouldn't hold it against me that Charm was a little off today.

The bad: My focus was on controlling Charm and not on my posture.

I took a breath, trying to relax. Charm was feeling my tension—that was usually the only reason why he ever acted up.

“Sitting trot,” Mr. Conner said.

Charm bounded forward from a light tap of my heels. He jerked on my hands and I fought to regain my posture before Mr. Conner saw.

“Sasha,” he called out. “Your body needs to be just a
few degrees in front of vertical. Sit back a little.”

I pushed my shoulders back, knowing I looked stiff instead of relaxed like Mr. Conner wanted, but I couldn't focus on myself when I had to concentrate on Charm, too.

“Halt,” Mr. Conner instructed.

Within a few strides, we'd brought our horses to smooth stops.

“Back up five strides,” Mr. Conner said.

We did and Charm snuck his muzzle in the air instead of tucking his chin. Phoenix and Aristocrat backed up without hesitation. I chewed on the inside of my lip, trying not to cry. My first lesson on the Canterwood YENT was a disaster.

“Halt, then move into a trot for a lap,” Mr. Conner said.

We stopped our horses, then urged them into trots. Charm mouthed the bit—playing with it with his tongue. His ears pointed forward and he didn't pay attention to me. I closed my fingers around the reins, trying to get his focus. He flicked an ear back at me, then pointed them forward again.

“Canter,” Mr. Conner said.

Charm shot forward—taking Mr. Conner's command as a verbal cue. Charm pulled me forward and the reins slipped through my fingers.

“Sasha, watch your shoulders,” Mr. Conner called. “Pull Charm back to a trot, then tell him to canter. He should not have started on my cue instead of yours.”

My face burned.

I slowed Charm to a trot and he shook his head, tossing his mane. I held him back as he watched Aristocrat and Phoenix canter ahead of him. Charm
hated
it when other horses were moving faster in front of him. But I didn't give in—I made him trot even though he swished his tail hard from side to side. After a few more strides, he started to settle and respond to me. I relaxed my fingers on the reins and gave him more. He broke into an even canter and I tried to shake off my nerves.

By the end of class, my arms were sore from fighting with Charm and I was exhausted from worrying about how I looked next to Heather and Jasmine. My T-shirt was soaked from sweat, and strands of hair that had escaped from my ponytail were plastered to the back of my neck.

“Good work, girls,” Mr. Conner said. “Take extra time to care for your horses because of the heat—make sure you give them small sips of water while you cool them out. See you tomorrow.”

We dismounted and I walked Charm in front of Heather
and Jas. We got inside the stable and I walked him up and down the side aisle, both of us still sweating.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered to him. “That was my fault—not yours.”

Charm rubbed his cheek against my arm and turned his head to look at me. He was trying to tell me something. I hugged his neck. “You're right—I wasn't alone in the arena. I've got you, boy.”

It took over half an hour of walking before he was cool. I led him to the wash stall and rinsed the dried-up sweat from his coat. Charm sighed happily as the cool water ran over his back. After he was clean, I dried him with a couple of towels, then put him in his stall.

I started out of the stable and groaned to myself when I saw Rachel carrying a water bucket down the aisle. The seventh grader had an obvious crush on Eric and she wasn't shy about showing it. She was petite with light brown hair and natural reddish highlights. I noticed she'd switched from glasses to contacts over the summer.

“Good summer?” Rachel asked, stopping in the aisle. She looked perfect—not at all sweaty in the heat.

“Awesome. You?”

“Pretty cool. I went on an overnight trail ride with my friends. Sleeping outside kinda sucked, but the rest
was fun.” Rachel shifted the green bucket from one hand to the other. “Bet it was hard to be separated from Eric all summer. And now you guys don't even have lessons together anymore.” She stuck out her bottom lip.

I shrugged. “It's cool. We iChatted all summer and now we can see each other whenever we want.”

Rachel smiled. “Oooh, good. Mr. Conner said the intermediate team could watch an advanced lesson once a week and everyone's, like, so excited to go.”

You are because you get to watch my boyfriend!
I thought. But I kept a nonchalant expression on my face. I still couldn't forget that I'd overheard Rachel and her friends talking last spring about how hot Eric was.

“That's great. I'm sure you'll learn a lot.”

I walked away from her, glad that I'd been cool. I had no reason to worry about Eric. Rachel could go to
every
one of Eric's lessons if she wanted—he'd never be interested in her.

WHEN IT WAS TIME FOR LUNCH ON TUESDAY
, I went to the salad bar, skipping the hot lunch line, and grabbed a plateful of fruits and veggies. The most eventful class of yesterday? History. Both Eric and Jacob were in my class. They'd sat at opposite ends of the room and hadn't looked at each other once. At least our teacher, Mr. Spellman, had been awesome enough to let us go after taking attendance and going through the syllabus. He'd understood that we'd all felt overwhelmed after the first day and needed a few minutes to breathe.

I took a seat at the table I usually shared with my friends. We all kind of rotated around the caf since we had friends in different groups. No one else was here yet, so I speared a forkful of lettuce and started eating.

A tray clattered onto the space in front of me and I looked up at Jacob.

I dropped my fork and stared at him for a second. “What are you doing?”

“Sasha, c'mon, would you talk to me, please?” Jacob sat down and, instinctively, I scooted back a few inches.

“No. I don't want Callie or Eric to see us talking. They'll be here any second.”

Jacob shook his head. “Callie's science class ran late—some kind of lab thing. And since Eric's in that class …”