Little White Lies (38 page)

She smiles and her eyes twinkle.

“If things have gone too far with Karen, please say so and I will close the subject forever. On the other hand, if you feel you have the freedom to include another woman in your life, then I would like to continue to see you and find where that takes us.”

I pick up my glass and swirl the wine about in a gentle circle. Holy cats! Does A.J.’s friend, Jack, know about this part?

“I’m not sure what I should say,” I begin in absolutely the lamest manner I can manage. “A couple of days ago, I was convinced there was no relationship of any sort between Karen and myself. You know what happened next, an apparent misunderstanding on my part.

“From my perspective, you are everything any man would want in a woman, but I have never permitted myself to think of you in those terms. When we met, whatever relationship I’d had with Karen had just gone sour… I thought… and I wasn’t in the mood for a new female companion under any circumstances. I guess that’s part of what I was trying to say that first night when I took you home. Basically, Karen and I seem to be back where we were before she left. I admit, I’m still a bit confused about some things, but there’s no question I care for her. But, as I said before, there is nothing formal between us. I don’t mean to play word games, it’s just that we have no plans or arrangements.”

I can’t help but think about Karen’s last statement on this subject… formal or informal, we have an understanding and she has honored it. Has she? Am I? She was away five months, almost three with practically no communication of any sort, come on, Philip, come to! It’s just that when I see her, all the other stuff goes out the window and all I can think about is the moment… all I want to think about is the moment.

“Can I think about this for a while?” I ask, continuing to limp and evade as much as humanly possible. “I have feelings for you, I’ve just never allowed them to surface. But I don’t want to kid either one of us, and I don’t want to mislead Karen. I have some things to sort out.”

I pause trying to think of some magical words that could make sense out of all this, but they elude my grasp. My voice trails off with, “That’s the best I can do right now.”

“That’s good enough,” she says smiling and in a way that makes me think she is trying to understand. “I really haven’t been fair, surprising you like this. You deserved some warning. But Karen was my surprise… so I guess I’m yours.”

“It’s a nice surprise,” I say, not quite knowing exactly what I mean when I say it.

We lapse into silence for several moments. There seems to be something else coming, but I have no idea what it could be. I have enough on my plate for the time being so I’m not going to try too hard to figure it out. If she doesn’t bring it up, I’m not going to dig for it.

“I think I should tell you something else,” she continues as if reading my thoughts.

Maybe I’m not going to have to figure, or dig, or do anything of the sort. Jennifer hasn’t finished with me yet. She looks away, obviously struggling with instincts or emotions… unsure how to proceed.

“As I’m sure you know, I am a fairly wealthy woman… and a cautious one as well. I learned a long time ago that things and people are not always as they seem. You are a mystery to me, Philip. There are things about you that just do not add up… based upon what Sheri has told me about you and what I have seen and have learned on my own.”

Long pause, some lip biting followed by a deep breath.

Her eyes return to me as she continues, “I want you to know what I plan to do if it looks like we will have a relationship of any sort.”

Her gaze is beginning to feel like a stare while she pauses again, but it’s obvious she’s all business now.

“I will run a background check on you to make sure you are all you seem to be. But before I do, I will tell you… I want you to have an opportunity to explain any discrepancies that might turn up.”

I suppose it is my turn to talk, but I think it would be better if I remained silent for a while. Jennifer is not only rich and cautious, she is beautiful and smart and I can’t hate her for any of that. On the other hand, there’s no point in rushing into anything either. We’re a long ways away from any relationship.

“I know you once implied you did not want to explain how you came to work for A.J.,” she continues, “but at some point I would have to have that resolved. Certainly there doesn’t appear to be anything sinister in your background… but it doesn’t make any sense either.” She smiles again. “Sorry, but that’s the way Iam.”

***

It’s not even ten o’clock, but it’s still much later than I intended to stay at Jennifer’s. She didn’t exactly put any pressure on me to explain how I came to work for the Jacksons, but I figured I might as well fill in the blanks now rather than try to cover my tracks later. After all, the need for secrecy is long since past. Every now and then the truth is easier. However, that’s hardly the problem of the moment right now.

I leave the car in the garage and head straight for the library bar. It’s certainly not my usual behavior, to have a stiff drink this late in the evening, but I need something, if not a drink then perhaps a lobotomy.

It looks like the house was buttoned up early this evening. The only light left on in the room is the small desk lamp. Perfect. I don’t need or want a lot of light just now. I pour a couple of ounces of bourbon into a tumbler. I’ll never drink it all, but it’s nice to know it’s there in case I need it. A planned hangover is probably better than one you get by accident.

I have always believed there is a logical answer to most of life’s problems and I’m sure there’s a logical answer to this one… but it isn’t exactly jumping up and demanding to be heard. Perhaps if I take it a step at a time it will solve itself.

The place to begin is where I think the problem really lies… Karen. I care a lot for her, but is it love? Perhaps it’s too soon for that. She’s a great girl … we have fun and a lot in common. She’s a knockout and our sex life is more than adequate… make that great. Maybe for me it’s sort of like having a sports car… a hell of a lot of fun, but not very practical.

So what’s the problem, really? The problem is the same one we have had since day one: she’s too damn young for me… we’re from different worlds. She should be with a younger man.

Sheri calls this ‘age thing’ my eternal hang-up. Perhaps one reason I can’t get past it is because I’m the oldest guy on the block. Sheri, A.J. and Karen are all of the same generation… no more than a year or two apart. I’m not that much older in some ways, but the difference will always be there… at least for me.

Okay, bottom line. Does this mean I’m going to stop seeing Karen? Think about it. If it’s going to end, better to do it now rather than later when it will be infinitely more difficult. Wherever I go from here, I have to get this thing out of the way once and for all. If she’s too young now, then she’s going to be too young tomorrow and the day after and the day after that and so on. In other words, that particular problem is not going to go away. I either come to terms with it or end it… and I have to do it sooner rather than later… but not tonight. I’m a man of many parts… and one of those parts is a chicken bone running straight down the middle of my back.

The whiskey tastes good, but there doesn’t seem to be any magic coming from the glass. A good problem can always survive any amount of drink.

And speaking of problems: what about Jennifer? She’s totally different from Karen in almost every way. They are both beautiful, but where Karen has the all-American girl good looks… vibrant and sexy; Jennifer has a more classical beauty. Karen is witty. Jennifer appreciates humor and fun, but seldom initiates it. Karen crackles with some sort of energy, not always directed in any particular way. Jennifer is infinite patience and … grace.

Jennifer has a gentle nature and charm about her. Do I care for her? I think I do, but in a different way. Heck, that’s understandable. Nothing has ever transpired between us other than some time shared in the company of others. Money is not a factor. I have money. Not as much as Jennifer, perhaps, but certainly enough.

Would it bother me if I never saw Jennifer again? Damn! And how about investigating me? In one sense it bothers me, but I can only imagine her concerns. Rich, beautiful women have to be careful. What the hell… I check people out all the time in business. Is that the way our relationship should begin… like a business?

“Philip?” Sheri’s petite frame is outlined in the doorway.

“Hi, Sheri. It’s just me. drinkin’ and thinkin’. You’re welcome to join me if you wish.”

Sheri walks into the room with small, hesitant steps. It takes a moment for me to realize the problem. Walking in from the lighted foyer, she is momentarily blind.

“Want some light on the subject?” I reach over and snap on a lamp. “There, that any better?”

Sure of her footing now, she walks swiftly to the other sofa and sits down across from me, her forearms resting on her knees, hands clasped together… thumbs nervously pushing each other back and forth.

“What’s going on here? This isn’t like you,” she says, stealing a quick glance at the whiskey glass.

She seems anxious and ill at ease, as if discovering the real me for the first time.

“Don’t be alarmed,” I reply following her eyes and aware of what she must be thinking. “It’s nothing serious. I just decided to do some thinking that is probably long overdue.”

She continues to look at me with concern.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

I laugh.

“I’m not sure I should talk about anything with you, Sheri. You have proven to be quite a troublemaker in the past.”

Sheri ignores the dig and keeps on coming.

“It’s about Karen and Jennifer, isn’t it?”

I raise my glass in the air.

“Bingo! Give the lady a cigar.”

“Philip, I’m sorry about Friday night,” she exclaims. “We haven’t had a chance to talk. Karen called me and from what she said, I knew there had been a misunderstanding. Sound familiar? She wanted to surprise you… it wasn’t my idea. I just thought things would probably work out if you two got together. Jennifer was not part of the plan. She showed up on her own. Then that fool-husband of mine had to go and make the most of it.”

She pauses with a look of disgust, which I assume is meant for him. We both look at one another and then give in to smiles.

“It was pretty funny at times, wasn’t it?” Sheri holds her hand up to her mouth to suppress outright laughter.

“Depends on your point of view,” I reply. “Unfortunately, A.J. and I have the same definition of what’s funny. It’s stuff that happens to other people. I would like to think I would do the same for him, given the chance.”

“But that’s the problem. When do we ever get the chance with that devil? Look, let’s not get started on

A.J.,” she continues, “I want to know about you and Karen.”

“Sheri, someday that cute little nose of yours is going to get you into trouble.”

“I’m not nosy,” she says primly, “I just care about you, that’s all. You’re a part of the family and I have a right to know. Besides, how can I help if I don’t know what’s going on?” She rubs the tip of her nose briskly with her forefinger… I suppose to sharpen its senses for the work at hand.

I am certain my face does not adequately portray my skepticism. There’s no way it could. Sheri loves a love story and she wants no secrets if she can’t be in on them.

“Well it really doesn’t make much difference. I guess there was a misunderstanding between us. You remember the letter I told you about?”

Sheri nods.

“That’s when it all started. We really haven’t talked about it, but I guess she figures things are the same as they were before she left. And maybe they would be, except now there’s a new wrinkle.”

“What new wrinkle?”

“Jennifer informed me tonight about her concern: now that she’s aware of Karen, she thinks I won’t see her anymore.”

“Has something happened between you two?” she asks, trying not to sound too eager.

“That’s just it… absolutely nothing. No words, no deeds. This is all out of the blue, Sheri. But the strange part of this is… I think it’s out of the blue for her, too.

She said she did not know how she felt about me until she saw Karen. Don’t get me wrong. she’s not in love or anything like that. She would simply like to see where things might go, given the chance. Tonight she asked me how I felt about giving us that chance.”

“Phil, you sly dog,” Sheri laughs, shoulders hunched, fists clenched, a look of absolute delight on her kisser.

I cut her off.

“Don’t start, Sheri. I had nothing to do with any of this. I’m a victim, practically a bystander. and an innocent one at that.”

My plea has no effect on her. She’s enjoying this mess to the hilt.

“I know this isn’t funny,” I continue, “but I suppose I can see where it’s sort of amusing… if there’s a difference.” I rub my eyes. “Jesus, I’m tired. This thing would probably be a lot funnier if it were not happening to me.

Sheri gives me a look of deep concern and sympathy. Here it comes.

“Poor, Philip. All these beautiful women want to drag you off to bed and jump all over your tired old bones. Don’t expect too much pity down at the pool hall. You might be disappointed.”

The irony of the situation is obvious.

“Talk about feast and famine. I have been celibate. A paragon of virtue.”

Although I say this with all the dignity I can muster, I don’t seem to make any significant impression on the present company.

“My how the mighty have fallen,” she intones piously. “Okay, enough!”

She instantly switches gears. Must have gotten too close to real pity.

“Tell me what you’re going to do. I won’t sleep tonight as it is. This is so exciting.”

She claps her hands and gives a mini-stomp with her feet.

“Why don’t we write everything down? We could make a TV show out of it.”

Trouble is, she might mean it. Hell, I know she means it. Accurately inferring my total lack of amusement in reaction to her last statement, she takes another tack.

“Okay, I’ll be serious. But you must promise, you have to tell me everything. Everything! You understand?”