Lives of Magic (Seven Wanderers Trilogy) (17 page)

“What do you mean?” My voice came out in a pathetic whimper.

I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Had I been a terrible person? Had Seth told him about my husband?

“Whose life are you living?” His eyes were imploring while his voice still simmered.

“My own,” I answered. The accusatory note in his tone was undeserved. I hadn’t done anything wrong. Had I?

“Why are you …” he stopped, thinking about how to continue, “being affectionate with me?”

I sat and stared, not knowing how to answer. I vowed to never eavesdrop again if this mess blew over. How had the conversation gotten here?

“Seth told me about the memories you share … about being together,” Kian prompted.

I felt a fresh wave of fuchsia flood my face as my heart began to race again. Okay, worst fears confirmed. Kian’s anger had gone as quickly as it had appeared and he just looked confused. I realized I owed him an explanation, but before I could open my mouth, he went on.

“I don’t know what I feel when I am around you anymore,” Kian went on. “It has become difficult. I don’t have any of my own magic, you know that.” I nodded, waiting for him to explain. “The magic I have came from the magicians who brought me here, and only to find you. That’s all I have.”

There was a moment of silence when I realized he waited for me to speak. I had no idea what to say or what he was going on about.

“Go on,” I suggested.

“So why choose me?” he asked. I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do you mean?”

“Why choose me? I’m powerless, yet I feel power around you. Why?” Kian continued. “I shouldn’t; I have nothing but the magic given to me. You’re vibrating. I can feel the energy off of you. It’s hard to be near you without feeling it spread to me. It seeps into my bones and I don’t even have anything to defend myself with.”

I sat speechless. I loved it when he dropped the indifferent attitude, but he was flying off the handle a bit here.

“But I don’t even mind that anymore,” he said. “If I feel that with you, why does Seth tell me you were his? If you think you were with him then …”

I took in a deep breath. Kian’s speech was like a roller coaster ride on my emotions. I was beginning to realize that he would simmer and stew, and then explode like a volcano. I needed to steady myself.

“I was,” I said, though a strong portion of my mind argued that I had never been anyone’s. Something Kian said sounded off to me. “I don’t
think
I may have had something with him. I
did
have something with him. But that doesn’t mean anything now,” I said. Not mentioning the fact that Seth was probably Roman and therefore I had more than likely sold out my own people. “I know that. Meeting Seth was just … surprising after all the memories.”

Kian looked utterly confused. His irritation has dissipated and was replaced by a frown.

“There is nothing between us in this life,” I reiterated. “But you told me I have to figure out my memories to gain my magic. That’s all.”

He stood, his face growing more and more bewildered. He scowled at the wall and placed a hand on his chin. In any other situation, his befuddled appearance would have been comical.

I sighed and went on, well aware that I was quickly talking myself into a hole.

“I am realizing that this is a new life. And nothing has happened to make me …” Love? Did I dare say love? “… want to be with him. We may have been together then but —”

Kian cut me off with a raised hand. “Gwen, I don’t know what kind of magic or trickery has convinced you otherwise, and it is strange that you both tell the same story, but I can guarantee you that you have never been … associated … with Seth.”

I
blinked at him like a total idiot. “But …” was all I could manage.

“I thought Seth had been lying. I know who he was, and I know you have never been together,” Kian said. “That’s why I was angry. I thought you or he was trying to … trick me or something.” He leaned against the door and rubbed a hand over his face. “I didn’t know his reasons to lie, so I watched you two. But you seem convinced of your past. I need some time to think about this.”

“Uh, yeah.” It was a weak defence, but I had nothing else.

My heart beat like a drum at the thought that I might have been mistaken. What if my memories weren’t actually memories at all? I couldn’t bear to think of it. The last grip I would have had on any of my lives was quickly slipping away. I jumped up and rushed to Kian so quickly that he backed into the door.

“Do that thing you did when you kidnap —” I stopped, “— found me. That thing where you read my memories or whatever. You’ll see it was him.”

Another flood of red went straight into my face as I began to worry what Kian would actually see, but he shook his head.

“It doesn’t work that way. I have the magic to unlock your memories, but they are yours. What you saw then is what you’ll see now. Those images were focused around you. He wasn’t in them.”

“How can you be sure we were never together?” I asked, suddenly skeptical.

“Because I am.”

I wasn’t going to get more out of him.

“Who were you arguing with on the phone?” I asked.

A change of subject was best. Arguing with Kian about what I knew in my very soul wasn’t going anywhere. I’d prove him wrong. Somehow.

“We have a new location,” was the reply.

I sighed and we reached for the doorknob at the same time. His face was mere inches from mine, and my breath caught in my throat. I looked up into his eyes and for a moment the world was transformed. His eyes shone brighter. Slowly, his face moulded and changed and became that of the Roman soldier at the waterfalls. Seth.

I jumped in surprise. My heart nearly leapt out of my chest, but Kian appeared not to notice anything. His expression didn’t change as he pulled the door open and walked down the hall to Seth and Garrison’s room.

I stood in the doorframe, leaning against the wood for support and grasping my chest.

What is going on?
The thought raced through my mind but I had no answer.

While I still stood immobile, Seth poked his head out of his room and down the hall.

“Gwen?” he called. “Come on! Kian’s doing one of his announcements.”

I walked into the room, trying to act calm, though my heart still palpitated violently. But, I couldn’t look at Kian in the same way. He and Seth now felt the same to me — looked the same, smelt the same. I couldn’t focus on his words.

“… countryside. Be in control.”

“What?”

Kian turned to me with an annoyed look but quickly looked away. He shook his head slightly when he looked my way, as if willing the confusion to tumble out.

“I said we were going into the countryside to find the next of your kind. Your memories are growing — so are your powers. So make sure you remain in control.” He finished his speech and walked out of the room without another word.

“Wow, man of steel, he is,” Garrison said. Seth nodded and then noticed me eyeing him. I realized too late that I must have worn a suspicious look.

“What is it?” he asked.

I looked meaningfully at Garrison, silently asking for a private minute. He got the hint but chose to only sit up in his bed and hug a pillow.

“If you’re going to discuss your lovey past, then I know all about it, so no point in kicking me out into the hall.”

Seth hid his face in his hands as his ears turned pink. I crossed my arms and tried to look stern, but I kind of didn’t care. I surprised myself by separating the past from the present. I guess it is easier not to identify with your past life when you turned out to have been an adulterous traitor.

“Whatever,” I said to him. Then to Seth, “What did you tell Kian?”

Seth looked taken aback. He must not have realized there was anything that needed to be held back. He screwed his eyes up and thought.

“I told him most of my memories were like photographic portraits. The sea. The forest. You.” He shrugged. “Those few things were all I knew of my past life, other than the feelings that came with them. From those, I figured out what was going on … I realized our story.”

“And you’re sure it was me?” I was nearly wincing with anticipation.

“Of course,” Seth answered.

My chest eased a little and I mentally devoted some time in the near future to proving Kian wrong.

“Did I upset anyone?” Seth asked, eyebrows rising.

He was obviously referring to Kian so I shook my head to reassure him.

“He’s not mad,” Garrison said, joining the conversation. “It’ll blow over. I see the way he looks at you.”

I ducked my head, trying in vain to hide the blush creeping up my neck. I had been ignoring him watching our exchange from his bed.

“I don’t know what —” I began, but Garrison cut me off.

“Yes, you do,” he said. It wasn’t an accusation, just an observation. I stole a glance at Seth but he seemed indifferent. Deciding to retreat, I waved goodnight and raced to my room, where a whole lot of concerns were mixed with a bunch of questions.

“It’s too hot,” Garrison complained from the back seat.

He sat with me in the back of the rental car while Seth and Kian rode in front. The sun shone on our legs and it did feel a little like being baked inside an oven.

“I thought England was supposed to be cold, dismal …” He trailed off, throwing his head back dramatically.

“Stop whining. The air conditioning is on,” Seth called from the front.

We could hear the small car struggling to cool the air, but weren’t feeling it.

Despite Garrison’s dramatics, the morning had begun quite differently. He had come downstairs with puffy eyes and red welts on his cheeks that looked like burst blood vessels. A night of crying would do that. I chose not to say anything and asked Seth.

“Memories,” he said. “Kian warned us. He’s trying to stay in control, but it’s hard.”

When I looked at him questioningly, he went on.

“His family,” Seth explained. “
Both
his families.”

I decided not to ask any further questions because I did not want to know. I suspected Garrison’s happy and upfront exterior masked something else.

“What about you?” I asked Seth.

He smiled at me then looked away. “You know …” He shrugged. I realized he shrugged a lot, as if not wanting to commit to anything he said. “Same things. Trails. Horses. Rivers. You.”

The way he said it sent shivers up my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing. Kian pulled around with the car. It was audible from around the corner of the hotel since the car sputtered and squealed.

When we stared, he called out the window.

“Only one they had left!” he said defensively.

“Well, here’s to finding a new addition to our group!” Seth had squeezed my hand and walked away, while I felt his touch ringing up my entire arm.

What kind of magic is this?
I wondered as I let it warm and soothe me.
Idiot
, I told myself.
You’re swooning.

Kian had been in a better mood the night before, and I had a wonderful sleep. I managed to stay awake during the car ride out into the country. Unfortunately, that meant putting up with Garrison’s complaints.

After two hours, the green farms began to be rather boring and I searched the car for anything to occupy my interest. After I had read the safety instructions on the back of Seth’s visor about ten times, Kian finally stopped the car.

We were in a small parking lot in the middle of nowhere. The town was flat, though there were a few hills a short way away. As far as I could see, there were only some brown brick row houses, a street lined with white shops, and a small white church backing out onto an old cemetery.

One of the shops in the white street was a fish-and-chip shop and Garrison and Seth quickly rushed in that direction. I followed with Kian on my heels. I tried smiling at him, and my heart sang when he acknowledged me, but his return look was nearly a grimace. He was preoccupied. I thought back to the argument on the phone. If Kian did not want to come here, why had he?

The store looked like nothing had been updated in the last fifty years. The counters were rounded and white. The chairs were cheap metal. Behind the counter, a man of retirement age stood over the fried fish in various tin heating trays.

“One, please,” Garrison said, coming up to the counter.

His eyes were wide and I smiled to myself, remembering that he was still a teenager who liked to eat, despite being an ancient magician.

“Of which?” the man asked.

“Anything! Everything!”

The man continued to look at Garrison, waiting for an answer. Realizing his joke hadn’t reached the right audience, Garrison gazed up at the menu behind him.

“Haddock with peas and chips?” he asked. The man nodded and got to work.

“Me too, please,” Seth added.

“Two more,” Kian said, ordering for me as well.

“Where are you visiting from?” the man asked while working.

“New York,” Garrison answered.

The man tsked about big cities and crime, then gave us our food and advised us not to go outside to eat because the church’s procession would be coming out soon.

“Procession?” Kian asked.

The man turned to him for the first time and his eyes narrowed slightly. “You’re also from New York?’ he asked.

“Yes,” Kian answered without a moment’s pause.

“Hm,” was the only reply, then, “There’s a wedding today. A lot of people come in from neighbouring towns.”

We took our food and went to sit down at the small metal tables. I kept feeling a pull at my chest as if I should be somewhere else but wasn’t. That nagging feeling like when you’re missing an exam or someone’s birthday. I was missing something.

I was so wrapped up in myself that I didn’t even notice the others looking just as I felt: bothered. There was something important and we were missing it.

“Why do you think French fries are called chips here and not in America?” Garrison asked absentmindedly.

“Because I don’t think the English like the French very much,” Seth replied, stuffing a piece of fried fish into his mouth.

“But did the French actually invent this? I didn’t know they were big on potatoes,” Garrison replied.

I smiled. It was just like when I had found them arguing about comic books or whatever they had been discussing. Their friendship was evident and even as I basked in it, it made me feel quite alone.

I glanced at Kian, who was picking through his food with his fork. Just like a heron examining its spoils. A thought slowly formed in my mind.

Just like when I found them.

I remembered the tugging sensation, pulling me closer to their location as if missing finding them was like missing your own wedding. Before I could open my mouth, Seth beat me to it. He dropped the piece of fish on his fork and stood so suddenly that the table shook.

“What —” Kian began, but he followed Seth’s gaze into the crowd of people rushing out of the wedding like a flood.

There were hundreds of people all dressed in extravagant hats and fancy dresses. A mass of white, which must have been the bride, descended large stone steps with her groom as people cheered for them. A vintage car waited for them at the foot of the church.

We all stood staring out of the window. I realized we must look crazy to the old man behind the counter, but I was too busy scanning the crowd to care.

Where are you?
I mouthed as I stared into the sea of people.

“There,” Seth said, pointing. “That one.”