Living in Secret: Living In..., Book 3 (6 page)

He didn’t care what it took, what he had to do to make that happen.

He’d do it.

And then he’d walk away.

Chapter Four

Victoria didn’t dare look at Connor again but she could feel his gaze still on her, precise and focused as if he was aiming a gun and she was his target.

She could almost feel his anger like a physical force pushing at her. It was unnerving and yet exhilarating at the same time, because she’d never gotten a response like this from him before. At least never one this intense. And that thrilled her.

The unnerving part was wondering what he was going to do about it. And he would do something about it, of that she was certain. He’d never been a passive kind of man. Hopefully it would be something along the lines of signing those divorce papers so he wouldn’t have to see her again.

That’s not what you want…

Victoria shook away the insidious thought. It was exactly what she wanted.
Exactly
.

She kept her gaze on Lily, who was dancing in the middle of the room as if she wasn’t completely naked. A proud, strong, startling sensual figure.

Victoria had felt uncomfortable watching her at first, like she was viewing something she shouldn’t. But Lily hadn’t seemed ashamed of being nude. Or worried about people seeing her. In fact, she almost seemed to encourage it with her high kicks, small leaps and graceful turns. She was smiling too, her small, vivid face bright with pleasure. In fact, if anything it was the glances she exchanged with Kahu that were the most exposing. The deep emotion between the two of them was an almost palpable force.

She’d seen it before between Eleanor and Luc too, and had often wondered if she was missing out on something with Connor. Because she didn’t have that kind of connection with him. Theirs was a meeting of minds, not bodies.

And not even that, some would say.

Her jaw firmed and she ignored the acid bite of disappointment and regret. Their marriage had been her choice and she couldn’t regret that now.

Abruptly Kahu pushed himself out of the armchair as Lily finished a turn. In the dim light of the bar, the sweat burnishing her skin made her seem otherworldly. A beautiful fairy creature.

Kahu said nothing as he came toward her and she made no protest as he scooped her up into his arms, holding her against his chest. Silence reigned as Kahu strode out and continued to do so after he’d gone.

“No prizes for guessing where they’re going,” Raphael said in her ear.

His breath was warm and she couldn’t hold back the shiver as it whispered over her skin. “I guess not downstairs for another drink.”

“Oh, I think not.” His hand slid down her arm, the gentle caress awakening every nerve ending.

Slowly people began to leave the room, either in search of new entertainment or in search of somewhere more private. More than a few had paired off, the effect of Lily’s dance obvious in the way they were looking at each other.

Victoria found her breathing was short, her heartbeat fast.

Connor hadn’t moved. She could feel the weight of his stare like the pressure of a storm front pressing down on her.

“You want to stop this?” Raphael murmured. “Or do you want to take it further?”

She swallowed. The logical thing would be to stop this. To get up and go over to Connor and tell him she wanted his signature on those papers and she wanted it by yesterday. Surely he was angry enough to do it by now?

Slowly, she turned her head and glanced across the room again.

There was lightning in his eyes, an intense, furious heat that made something inside her catch fire.

She took an unsteady breath. Was he waiting for her to come to him? Was he expecting her to? Well, if he did, he was out of luck. She wasn’t going to be the one to move first. To come to him. She’d already had to do that at the Law Society because of his damn recalcitrance with the papers.

Screw him. This time he would be the one to come to her.

“I want to take it further,” she said, trying to keep her voice level, holding Connor’s fierce stare with her own.

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

“Get in my lap then.”

She didn’t allow herself to think. Thinking would mean hesitating and she couldn’t hesitate because if she did, she’d probably never be able to go through with it.

Getting up out of her armchair, she moved over to the one Raphael was sitting in, then turned around and lowered herself into his lap. His hands rested on her hips as he guided her down, settling her with her head on his shoulder, her legs between his.

“Keep looking at him,” he said quietly in her ear. “Don’t be afraid.”

But she wasn’t afraid. Or at least, the reason she was shaking wasn’t solely to do with fear. Yes, she’d never done this before, never sat in the lap of a man she barely knew. In a dress that if she moved her leg just little would show the entire world she wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. And yes, the thought of that even a couple of days ago would have had her laughing incredulously.

But she also felt…excited in a way she hadn’t for years. An intense, visceral thrill that really had nothing to do with the man sitting behind her and everything to do with the man sitting across from her.

Watching her with his eyes full of storms and thunderclouds. Lightning bolts.

He was so still, his long, lean figure absolutely motionless. A furiously angry predator waiting for the kill. His tie was undone at the throat, revealing tanned skin and she couldn’t seem to drag her gaze from him.

Raphael shifted her so the split in her dress was open to the hip, revealing almost her entire side. Then his hand came to rest gently on her bare thigh. The touch was like an ember on her skin, burning her and she couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath that escaped her.

“Okay?” Raphael whispered.

“Yes,” she croaked.

But she wasn’t really. Her skin felt hot, her heart racing, a flood of intense desire gripping her so tight she could hardly breathe.

Connor was like a man turned to stone. But she saw the way his fingers dug into the arms of his chair, knuckles white. As if he was barely holding himself back from getting up and coming over to where she sat. And the look on his face… His jaw was tight, his long, beautiful mouth hard, his eyes glittering with restrained fury.

Intense satisfaction bloomed inside her, mixing with the fear and the desire to become something hot, volatile.

What the hell are you doing? With this complete stranger? You should stop this right now. Before you go too far.

Yet she knew wasn’t going to. Something had her in its grip, something powerful. A drive that seemed to come from a place inside herself she hadn’t known existed. A wild part of her soul she’d always wanted to explore and yet never had the guts to do so.

A drive fuelled by the expression on Connor’s face. By his fury and the undeniable heat in his eyes. And by the fact that he wasn’t hiding either of those things. He felt them. And they were both directed at her.

She shouldn’t be glorying in his reaction. And she definitely shouldn’t want to push him even further.

Yet she felt both of those things.

“More,” she said thickly and she wasn’t quite sure whom she said it to. Connor or Raphael. Either way, it didn’t matter as long as one of them did something.

The hand on her hip moved, sliding under the split of her dress to the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thigh. The breath caught in her throat but he didn’t go any further, his thumb beginning to stroke her back and forth.

Victoria shivered helplessly.

And something snapped in Connor’s gaze.

He got up out of his chair in a sharp, fluid motion and strode over to the door. Then he looked around the room, at the small number of people still sitting around.

“Out,” he ordered.

It was his courtroom voice, strong, deep and full of authority. And everyone slowly began getting to their feet and making for the door like good courtiers before a king.

Within a minute the room was empty apart from her and Raphael.

Connor slammed the door shut. Then he turned and looked at her, and what little breath she had left rushed out of her.

The cold, passionless man she knew from her marriage was gone. In his place was the courtroom tiger, hungry for a victory. For a kill. He began to stalk toward her, focused, intent, fierce. His fury a honed blade she could feel the sharp edge of as he came nearer and nearer.

Her mouth was dry as a desert, her heartbeat rocketing out of control.

Fear curled inside her, not that he’d hurt her—he’d always abhorred violence of any kind—but a different kind of fear she couldn’t name. A fear inextricably linked with the pulse of desire throbbing between her thighs.

How had it got to this? Sitting in another man’s lap while her husband stalked toward her like a hungry predator?

You like it…

Yes, and perhaps that’s why she was afraid.

Connor came closer, his gaze fixed on her. She tensed, her breath thick in her throat.

Raphael didn’t move, his body beneath hers completely relaxed. His thumb continued to move on her thigh in a gentle stroke and she wanted to tell him to stop, that perhaps she’d gone too far. But she couldn’t speak.

Connor came to a stop right in front of the armchair. He didn’t look at Raphael, every ounce of his furious attention focused on her.

Her whole body tensed even further, her fingers digging into the black velvet of the arms of the chair. She tried to keep her expression neutral, to not let any of her fear or her arousal show. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to her. This was going to be her victory, not his.

“You’ve been using him to push me all night, Victoria,” Connor said, in a low hard voice. “Now it’s my turn.”

She didn’t really understand what he was talking about until his sharp gaze flicked to the man behind her. “You okay with this?”

“Oh, I think so.” Raphael’s voice was soft and uninflected.

God. So he was going to include Raphael as well. Her whole body tightened.

Connor’s gaze dropped back to meet hers. “This is my show from now on,” he said quietly, roughly. “Hold her knees apart.”

Raphael didn’t speak, but he shifted, his hands moving to slide along her thighs and grip her knees, easing them apart. And holding them there.

She sucked in a ragged breath, keeping her gaze on Connor’s.

He came closer, standing right in front of the armchair, staring down at her. “You want to push me, Victoria? Make me angry? Is that what you’ve been trying to do?”

“I just want you to sign the damn papers.” Her voice was much thicker than she wanted it to be and slightly shaky.

“And using this man will make me do that?”

Behind her, Raphael was silent. Clearly he understood this actually had nothing to do with him.

“Why not?” she said. “I had to do something.”

Connor put his hand on the side of the armchair, near her head, and totally ignoring Raphael, slowly leaned in. “And how far were you going to go? Were you going to fuck him in front of me?”

He almost never swore and there was something about the way he said the word that hit her like a quarrel from a crossbow. A heavy, solid blow, echoing through her.

She could barely breathe, achingly conscious of Raphael’s hands on her, his fingers pressing against the sensitive skin on the inside of her knees. Of how open she was beneath her dress. Of the dull ache of need becoming sharper, more intense.

Connor was so close, his mouth right there. Oh God, how long had it been since she’d been that near to him? Close enough to smell the familiar scent of his aftershave, a fresh clean scent that always reminded her of the ocean. To feel the seductive heat of his body.

She hadn’t been able to bear being near him for a long time, so close to what she wanted and yet knowing she’d never be able to have it. And yet now…

She swallowed, staring back into the deep, intense blue of his eyes. Meeting his challenge. Answering it. “Would it have made you angry?”

He didn’t blink. “Yes.”

“Then maybe I would have.”

A dense, impossible silence fell. And it was only through sheer force of will that she managed to hold his gaze. It was like looking into the sun. She was almost blinded.

Then he looked down and with his free hand casually flipped aside the silk of her dress along the side-split, baring her to the waist.

Victoria sank her teeth into her lip, holding in the short, shocked sound that threatened to escape as all her muscles locked. Raphael’s hands were firm against her flesh, keeping her knees apart. She could feel him beneath her, hot, solid muscle, his scent, in contrast to Connor’s, spicy and musky. Not at all unpleasant. He was also hard.

Connor raised his head, looking into her eyes again. “I’m going to give you a choice, Victoria. You can leave, walk out the door now and we can pretend this never happened. Or you stay and show me just how far you’re prepared to go to get those papers signed.”

She swallowed. “So if I choose not to do this then you won’t sign the papers? Is that what you’re saying?”

His gaze didn’t even flicker. “Yes.”

“You manipulative bastard.”

“That’s interesting coming from the woman in no panties, who’s been playing around with another man purely to get back at me.”

Her heartbeat was loud in her head, getting faster and faster. She could feel her own anger beginning to rise too, and along with it, the insistent desire. “You can’t force me to do anything I don’t want to do.”

“Neither can you.” He put his hand on her thigh, his fingers along her sensitive flesh. “I don’t want to sign those papers just yet and I don’t like being manipulated into it.”

She began to tremble as his fingers moved higher. “And I don’t like you refusing to do something entirely reasonable for no reason at all.”

“I have a reason.” His fingers moved even higher, his gaze burning into hers. “But I’m not going to tell you until you make a decision.”

Her body ached, desire and fear clawing up inside her. But she wasn’t going to give in. Not yet. “It’s not much of a choice,” she said through gritted teeth.

“You don’t need me to sign those papers in order to leave, Victoria. Nothing is making you stay apart from sheer bloody-mindedness.” His deep, rich voice paused. “Unless there
is
something else you’re hoping for.”