Living in the Shadows (30 page)

Ellen had been pegging Ted’s white overalls on to the line when they’d opened the gate of the yard. She’d dropped them into the wash-basket and burst into tears.

Peter had retreated.

Now Ellen adopted a pained expression. ‘I’ve hardly seen our Linda since she came back from your house. Ted works all hours. I get so lonely, Mary. And with all this business about Shuttleworth…’

Mary looked round, worried that Peter might still be within hearing distance and was relieved to see that he’d gone.

Ellen began pleating the hem of her black cardigan, nervously plucking at it. ‘You could stay here.’

Mary had known what was coming and had words ready. ‘No thanks, love, we’re better to actually be in Manchester; gives us more time to get around the places Jackie’s listed for us.’ She put her hand over Ellen’s to stop the frantic movement of her sister’s fingers, recognising the old signals that meant she’d been drinking heavily again. ‘How is he? William? We couldn’t believe what had happened when Ted rang the B&B.’

‘He’ll be fine. We called round at his girlfriend’s house after Ted came back from the shop last night. That’s when he phoned you.’

‘Right. Well… Good. It could have been nasty. What’s she like, his girlfriend? What’s she called?’

Ellen pushed her lower lip out. ‘Susan. Ordinary. Married. With a kid – a lad.’

‘Now, Ellen, you should be the last to judge her on that.’

Ellen lowered her head so Mary couldn’t see her eyes. ‘I didn’t mean it that way. I just don’t see why William had to keep it all so secret.’

Mary could: her sister was obsessed with her son, had been since the day he was born. And he knew it. And he knew how she’d react to Susan. Quite clearly, Ellen had had her nose pushed out of joint.

‘As long as he’s safe, and happy with her, that’s all that matters,’ Mary said. ‘What’s going to happen about the husband?’

‘He’ll get away with it, I suppose.’ Ellen hunched her shoulders. ‘Ted says they’re sure he’s off the scene for good. That he’ll just be so relieved he got away with it he won’t dare come back. Apparently, if he can’t have her he’s not interested in the boy.’

‘Nice, I must say. Still it’ll be easier for them.’ Mary looked up at Peter, who was hovering at the door. ‘Look, we only called in to make sure you’re still all right to have Richard stay here. I could ask Jean—’

‘Don’t you dare. I don’t want that woman lording it over me again. Stuck up cow.’

Mary let that one go; Ellen and Jean had never got on and she wasn’t going to be drawn into old arguments. ‘Okay. Well, thanks for looking after him. Where is he, by the way?’

‘Out. He was out all day yesterday as well. With that girl. Sooner or later there’ll be trouble about that, Mary—’

‘It’ll be okay,’ Mary interrupted. ‘But yes, I know what you mean. He has some studying to do before next week. I’ll have a word when I ring him tonight.’ Worried that Ellen was going to start talking about George Shuttleworth in front of Peter, Mary stood up. ‘We’d better go.’

‘Sure you won’t stop here?’

Mary saw Peter’s look of alarm. ‘No, thanks. Like I said, better we’re in the city; we have more places to check.’

‘No news on Victoria, then?’

‘No. Not yet.’

‘You could stop for a brew?’

‘No.’ Mary felt guilty that they were leaving her sister when she was so distressed. No doubt she’d hit the bottle as soon as they left but there was nothing she could do about that; they had to make the most of their time here. She nodded at Peter.

He fetched his wallet from the inside pocket of his tweed jacket and took out two ten-pound notes.

‘There’s a tenner for Richard and ten pound for you, for his keep this week.’

‘You don’t need to do that. You’ve just had Linda staying with you,’ Ellen protested.

‘Richard eats like a horse,’ Mary said. ‘And Linda ate like a sparrow. I think this business with Martin’s upset her more than she’s saying.’

‘
She
finished with him, so she says.’ Ellen followed them to the door, keeping hold of Mary’s sleeve, as though trying to stop their leaving. ‘It was her choice.’

Peter was already at the back gate. He was pushed backwards when it was abruptly opened.

‘Jean!’ Could it get any worse? Mary frowned at her old friend, hoping she wouldn’t start on about George Shuttleworth. She needn’t have worried.

‘Is William going to report Jack?’ Jean crossed her arms and glared at Ellen. ‘I’ve worried about it since Jack telephoned from the barracks last night and told us what had happened. It wasn’t his fault – you do know that, don’t you? It was that lunatic friend of his.’ She sniffed, her mouth like a tight red rosebud. ‘The husband of that girl your William’s got himself involved with—’

‘Jean—’ Ellen let go of Mary’s sleeve.

‘Yes or no will do. After all, we’ve done you enough favours in the past. Just yes or no.’

‘How have you done us any favours?’ Ellen looked at Jean challengingly. ‘When, exactly?’

‘Now, you two… Stop it.’ Mary said.

Jean played her trump card. ‘I’m only thinking of Jacqueline. It could affect her career.’

‘The daughter you’ve stopped speaking to, you mean?’ Mary couldn’t stop the quick anger.

‘Yes well… I’m still concerned—’

‘For that bastard that your husband lumbered you with years ago?’ Ellen snapped.

‘Pot calling kettle!’ Jean raised her eyebrows in triumph. ‘Pot calling kettle!’

Mary brushed past her. She wasn’t stopping to witness yet another vicious row between the two women. ‘Come on, Peter, let’s get out of here before I lose my temper. I’ll leave you two to sort yourselves out. Tell Richard I’ll telephone,’ she said to Ellen. ‘Jean.’ Mary nodded towards Jean who didn’t meet her gaze.

Chapter 62: Linda Booth & Nelly Shuttleworth

Ashford, evening: Wednesday, October 15th

Linda heard the soft laughter, the quiet chatter coming from the back of the house when she opened the front door of Nelly’s house. She stopped, putting the carrier bag of groceries on the floor and listened. The last thing she needed right at this moment was having to make polite conversation. What a mess everything was. Her encounter with Martin earlier had left her with a sense of determination that she would cope with what was happening to her. A feeling that had almost disappeared by the time she was back in Ashford. But now she was here she had to go through with it. The last person to judge her would be Gran.

She dropped Nelly’s door keys into her purse, picked up the carrier-bag and straightened her shoulders. Fixing a smile she walked through to the kitchen. Her gran was sitting in her chair with two of her neighbours, each on low stools by her side. They were so engrossed in their conversation they didn’t notice her standing in the doorway at first.

When they did, the two Asian women rose with a flurry of their brightly-coloured saris and birdlike greetings as they edged their way towards the back door. Linda returned their bows of the head with one of her own, joining in with her gran’s calls of goodbye,

She waited until they’d closed the door before bending down to Nelly and giving her a quick kiss. ‘Sorry, Gran, I didn’t realise you’d have company.’

‘S’okay, pet. Sakhi and Fazeela often call in for a chat an’ to see if I need owt from their shop.’ She smiled. ‘They’re good neighbours.’ She leaned back in her chair, studying Linda. ‘You’re a bit pale, lass.’

Linda dumped the bags on the table and took off her coat. ‘I’ve brought sausages for tea. I thought I’d stop for a bit.’

‘That’s nice, pet.’ Nelly leaned forward and, picking up the tongs from the hearth, took a lump of coal from the scuttle and threw it on the fire. She wheezed with the effort and took a second or two to get her breath back before continuing. ‘But I know summat’s up. So spit it owt.’

Linda stared at the patterns that the new flames made on the tiles of the large hearth. ‘Now it comes to it, Gran, I don’t quite know where to start.’

‘The beginning?’ Nelly steepled her fingers over her stomach and settled back in her armchair. ‘Allus the best place, an’ you know you can tell me anything, pet.’

‘I think I’ll peel these potatoes and get them going for the mash before I sit down.’ Linda picked up the bag and moved towards the sink but Nelly caught hold of her arm.

‘Never mind that. Just sit down and tell me what’s wrong.’

Linda flopped down on the armchair opposite her gran. The brittle shell she’d kept around her over the last nine weeks to hide the secret from all the family was cracking. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she said. The liberation of those words made her feel quite giddy. ‘And I’ve just come back from telling Martin. He doesn’t want to know.’

It had been a short visit. Once Martin knew, he couldn’t wait to get her out of his parent’s house.

Although it was only mid-afternoon the daylight was already fading fast; dark shadows filled the spaces between each of the hedged gardens, and the air felt heavy and still along the quiet avenue. The small semi-detached house where Martin lived with his parents was in darkness when she rang the doorbell.

Linda tapped on the glass panel. A faint light lit up the hall and she heard the thump of feet on stairs. When Martin opened the door she thought he wasn’t going to let her in but then, without a word, he turned and led the way into the kitchen.

‘Your mum and dad not in?’ Linda asked. They were a quiet old-fashioned couple who’d taken her into their hearts almost as soon as she’d started going out with Martin, and it upset her to know she’d probably hurt them. She’d been hoping she could explain how she felt, at least to his mother.

‘No.’ Martin folded his arms and adopted a stiff stance. He clearly wasn’t going to make this easy for her. ‘Why?’

‘No reason.’ Linda’s legs were beginning to tremble. ‘Mind if I sit down?’

‘Please yourself.’

She pulled one of the high stools away from the breakfast counter and sat on it. When she couldn’t stand the uneasy atmosphere between them any longer she said, ‘We need to talk, Martin.’

He cleared his throat. There was almost a smile spreading across his lips. ‘Things would have to change,’ he said. Linda was taken by surprise. She’d expected that he’d fling angry words at her across the space of the kitchen.

‘Sorry?’

‘If I was to take you back…’ His head bobbed up and down. ‘There’s a lot that’d have to change.’ Before she could answer he carried on. ‘All this nonsense about a career … it’s a job you’ve got, not a career. I’m the one who has the career; I’m going places in the insurance world and I’d expect you to support me with that. Of course, at first, until I’m on better money and we can afford a mortgage, we’d live here, but you get on with my parents and—’

‘I’m pregnant.’ Linda stopped his flow of smug words. ‘I don’t want us to get back together, Martin, and I certainly don’t want to marry you. But you have every right to know I’m going to have your baby.’

His arms dropped by his side and, for a moment, the way his face contorted, she thought he was going to cry. He blinked rapidly, his mouth opening and shutting, a string of spit between his lips. Then his eyes narrowed. ‘You’re blaming me?’ he said. ‘You’re saying it’s my baby?’

That shocked her; it was the last thing she’d expected from him, a denial of his part in the tiny life inside her. She pushed herself from the stool so quickly he stepped back as though afraid she would lunge at him.

‘Of course it’s yours,’ she said.

‘Well how do I know?’ he blustered. ‘How do I know what you were getting up to behind my back? You chucked me in. God knows who else you’d been seeing.’ He paced the floor, not looking at her, wringing his hands.

He’s scared. He’s scared of the responsibility. Perhaps even frightened what his parents would say. ‘I’m not trying to trap you, Martin,’ she said. ‘Like I’ve said, I’ve no intention of getting back with you, let alone marrying you.’ She might one day regret her next words, but she pushed the thought away and said, ‘And I want nothing from you.’

‘Really?’

His eagerness was insulting. What the hell had she ever seen in him?

‘Really.’ She paused, waiting for him to speak but he didn’t. ‘Not even money. But if you wanted to see the baby, I wouldn’t stop you. You should be part of our child’s life.’ Saying those words made it all at once a definite; she was going to have this child in her life forever.

She watched his hesitation as he continued to pace. When he slid down onto the floor and held his arms over his head she was shocked. The loud gasps and blubs almost frightened her. She stood, waiting for the paroxysm of tears to end. After a while he looked up. His face was covered in tears and snot. He wiped away the wetness with his sleeve and all she could think was that he was like a child himself

‘I’ll be in touch,’ she managed to say.

Watching him crumble was humiliating for both of them; Linda couldn’t get out of the house fast enough.

‘So that’s that, Gran. I don’t know what to do. I know what I would like to do…’ She stopped.

‘What, pet? What would you like to do?’

‘I’d like to get right away from here.’ Linda clasped her hands tightly. ‘As far away from Ashford as I can.’ She was sorry as soon as she’d spoken. She hadn’t thought what it would mean.

If her gran was upset by it she didn’t show it. She seemed to be thinking. Then her face cleared. ‘You could go to Mary’s. Your aunt would love to have you with her in Wales.’

‘It would mean I’d be leaving you, Gran.’

‘Away with you. You can’t make your plans around me. I’ll be fine.’

‘I would like to stay with Auntie Mary, at least until the baby’s born.’

‘So…?’ Nelly said.

‘With everything they have to deal with at the moment, I couldn’t.’

‘You could … you can. If Mary knew how you feel, she wouldn’t hesitate. So tell her.’ Nelly heaved herself to her feet. ‘Now, you start on the potatoes, I’ll get the plates out of the kitchenette and set the table.’

Chapter 63: Jacqueline Howarth

Manchester: Thursday, October 16th

The rusted corrugated-iron sheet was dragged back over the doorway of the derelict house with a shriek of metal on stone.