Lizzie Marshall's Wedding (19 page)

And how could she fall in love with someone she’d known so briefly? It was just lust; just infatuation. It wasn’t love. It wasn’t.

But even as she told herself that – she knew it was.

‘Becky? Are you okay?’

‘Sorry Lizzie. I don’t know where my head is at the moment,’ she said, dropping sideways onto a chair and holding the back of it with her free hand, as if for support. ‘Yes, Max is taking very good care of me, thanks. How are things with you?’

‘Good thanks. I was really just calling to say that I’ve spoken to Jack and we both agree that your schedule is perfect so we’re going with that. Jack came up earlier than expected yesterday so I called you in the afternoon and left a message. I was just a little worried that I hadn’t heard back. Silly I know but actually, maybe not so silly. I was worried that something may have happened to you and it had! Good heavens, isn’t life strange?’

‘Max and I were just saying the exact same thing,’ Becky said a little hazily.

There was a short silence then Lizzie said, ‘This is absolutely none of my business Becky and you are perfectly at liberty to tell me so but ... are you and Max dating?’

The question took her by surprise. She considered denying it but if Lizzie asked Max and he confirmed it, that would cause problems. And what had she and Max just been saying about secrets?

‘Yes. It’s early days of course; we only met a week ago.’

‘Oh. I see.’

There was something in Lizzie’s tone that unnerved her. ‘I hope it doesn’t seem weird. Max being your ex-husband and me helping to arrange your wedding but, I can assure you, whatever happens between us, it will not affect your wedding one iota.’

‘Oh no Becky. I wasn’t worried about me.’

That clearly meant she was worried about Becky – or Max. Becky didn’t like where this conversation was going.

She gave herself a shake, mentally and in her cheeriest voice said, ‘Well, there’s no need to worry about anything, Lizzie. I’ll email you some menu samples on Monday, when I’ve had a chance to speak with some caterers and I’ll send you details of the pyrotechnic company I would recommend for the firework display. Have you organised the cake or do you want me to do that here? There’s an excellent cake shop in the village. Actually, come to think of it, Beckleston should be called the Bridal village. Everything one could possibly need for a wedding can be found either in the village or just outside of it, including a photographer. Shall I just email you everything and you can tell me how to proceed from there?’

‘That would be perfect Becky, thanks. It seems my wedding is in very good hands – and so is my ex-husband, if you don’t mind me saying that. Take care and I’ll speak to you soon.’

‘Mummy! Mummy! It’s snowing!’ Lily came running in, red cheeked with excitement, dragging Max along with her.

‘Sorry. She wanted to tell you. Have you finished talking to Lizzie?’

Becky nodded. ‘Is it darling? That’s exciting. Shall we go and make snow angels later if it settles again?’

Lily nodded frenetically then ran to the window to peer out.

‘How is she? Getting wildly excited I expect. Mum told me of your scheme for the wedding. I hope Lizzie goes with yours. Having the celebration before the ceremony is not a good idea – and I can speak from experience.’

Becky felt uncomfortable and she fidgeted on the chair but her discomfort had nothing to do with the padded seat. ‘So I’ve heard. Max, please don’t take this the wrong way but ... is there still something between you and your ex-wife?’

Max’s brows knit together. ‘In what way?’

‘In the way that ... you still have feelings for one another. I know you said you’re over her but is that really the case?’

‘Yes! I told you. Six months ago I wasn’t sure. Now, I am. I still care a great deal about her; I always will. And I think I can say that she feels the same about me but I no longer love her, in that way, or want to be with her. Why?’

Becky stood up and glanced out of the window, avoiding his eyes. ‘I don’t know. It’s just a niggling feeling I get when I talk to her. She ... she just asked me if we were dating and when I said yes – which I hope you didn’t mind, because we are, aren’t we, dating I mean?’ She shot him a worried look from under her lashes.

‘I hope so,’ Max grinned. ‘And no, I don’t mind you telling Lizzie.’

Becky gave a little sigh of relief but said, ‘Well, she ... she seemed a bit concerned. I thought she was worried that if we broke up it might affect her wedding but when I assured her it wouldn’t she said she wasn’t worried about that. She doesn’t know me so my feelings wouldn’t concern her so that means she’s either worried about you or ... or she’s jealous and wants you back.’

Max burst out laughing.

‘What’s funny about that?’

‘Oh Fifi.’ He let out a huge sigh and shook his head. ‘What am I going to do with you? I can assure you, she is not in the least bit jealous. And, if I’m honest, she’s probably worried about you. You know that I cheated on her, I told you that, and that since then, I’ve been out with a lot of women. I’m sorry if this upsets you but you’ve got to face it, she has known me a lot longer than you have and she knows that, other than her, I haven’t been serious about any of the women I’ve dated. She probably feels she should warn you but that it’s not her place to do so. I’ll speak to her and –’

‘No! That would be really embarrassing, please don’t. It’s just that ... well I ... I know this is just a bit of fun to you and that you don’t want a serious relationship and I – ’

‘Are you having doubts about me? It may have escaped your notice but I think I may be falling a little in love with you. I told you I’ll be honest and I will. I haven’t said that to anyone in a very long time – not since Lizzie in fact, and it would be really nice if, for just one moment, you’d give me the benefit of the doubt. I know what with everything that’s happened to you, it’s very difficult for you to trust people and now I know your real father abandoned you too, I can see why you have security issues but for heaven’s sake Becky, give me just a little break and believe what I say.’

For the first time since she’d met him, he seemed cross, and she couldn’t understand why. And, had he really just said that he thought he might be falling in love with her – a little?

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you angry.’

‘I’m not angry; believe me, you’ll really know it if you ever see me angry and will you stop apologising. There’s really no need.’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, rather heatedly ‘but you’ve had hundreds of women and know exactly what to do and say. This is fairly new to me and I’m scared. I’ve got Lily to think about too and she already thinks you’re the answer to her prayers and the closest thing she’s ever had to a father, can’t you see that?’

Max opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him.

‘No! Let me finish. Everyone I’ve ever loved or trusted has either left me, deceived me or died, so forgive me for wondering which one of those you may do. And as for thinking you may be falling a little in love with me, well, I really hope you are Max because I’m way past falling, I’m there. I’ve jumped without a parachute and that’s a truly novel and terrifying thing for me. I just hope you’ll be there to catch me, but excuse me for finding it difficult to believe that someone who’s as gorgeous and who’s as experienced and who’s ... well who’s nothing short of a demigod would actually want to be with me! Especially as you’ve made it abundantly clear that you don’t want a serious relationship!’

Max looked stunned. And for the first time since they’d met, it seemed he had nothing to say.

Lily dashed out into the garden, chasing another robin and after a final glance at Max, Becky raced after her, tears streaming down her face. 

‘Are you crying Mummy?’ Lily asked, turning to see her mother behind her.

Becky swept her into her arms and hugged her. It was several minutes before she could bring herself to speak. ‘No darling. I just got a snowflake in my eye, that’s all.’ She kissed Lily’s rosy cheek. ‘I think it’s time we went home.’

CHAPTER TWENTY

‘And you haven’t seen or heard from him since?’ Jess asked, stunned by the latest instalment in Becky’s love life.

‘Nope!’

‘Well, he’ll call. You know he will. It’s only been a couple of hours since you left. Maybe he’s just giving you a bit of time to think things over. He said he’s falling in love with you so he’s not going to let you slip away that easily.’

‘He said he thought he
may
be falling
a little
in love with me, that’s not the same as saying he is.’

‘You could call him and say sorry for storming off, I suppose,’ Susie said, carrying three mugs of tea into the sitting room, from Becky’s kitchen.

‘That would go down well. He told me to stop apologising so I don’t think calling to say sorry would actually put me into his good books again.’

‘That’s true. You do seem to apologise an awful lot lately Becky,’ Susie agreed.

‘I know, I’m sor ...  Oh my God! It’s like it’s become an addiction. Can you be addicted to apologising?’

‘You can be addicted to anything I suppose. Remind me again, why did you storm off?’ Jess asked.

‘Because I knew I was going to start crying my eyes out and I already felt like a silly little girl; besides, if you’d seen the expression on his face. First when I said he was the nearest thing to a father to Lily, that was a real surprise to him – and not a pleasant one by his expression and then, when I told him that I was head over heels in love with him well, it was as if I’d slapped him in the face! He looked ... horrified, terrified. I don’t know. He certainly didn’t look pleased. And he didn’t say a word; he just stared at me with that look on his face.’

‘I don’t get it. It’s okay for him to say he’s in love with you but not for you to say you’re in love with him? Explain that to me someone,’ Susie said, dropping onto the sofa.

‘I told you, he didn’t say he was in love with me, he said he thought he was on his way to falling
a little
in love with me, which, as far as I can tell, doesn’t actually mean much at all – except that he likes me.’

‘He likes you a lot,’ Susie corrected.

‘And you didn’t see his face when you were sparko,’ Jess added. ‘Honestly Becky, if that guy’s not in love with you then I don’t know a thing about love.’

‘You must stop running off though Becky. No one likes a drama queen.’

‘I know. I really don’t know what’s the matter with me. Since I met him, I seem to go from being deliriously happy one minute to a blubbering idiot the next and then a teenager having a temper tantrum. God knows where the rational, reasonable although, somewhat paranoid, woman went.’

Three pairs of eyes shot to the ringing phone. ‘It’s him!’ Susie said.

Becky stared at the caller display. ‘Oh God! It is him.’

‘Well then answer it!’ Jess shrieked. ‘And whatever he says – don’t say you’re sorry!’

‘Or slam the phone down,’ Susie added.

‘Hello.’ Becky tried to sound as calm as she could.

‘Can you get Jess or Susie to babysit tonight? We need to talk. I’ll pick you up at seven.’

‘I –’

He’d already hung up, without waiting for her answer.

Becky had been rehearsing all day, at least, once she’d been able to stop crying and feeling sorry for herself she had. He was clearly going to give her the, “this isn’t working” speech and end things before they got any worse. It was obviously too late for her, she was already head over heels in love but he had clearly realised he needed to get out now, before any more harm was done. She could still see the look of surprise and horror when she’d called him Lily’s father figure and the even bigger look of abject terror when she’d told him she loved him.

She heard him pull up and she summoned her courage. She had faced the death of her parents, the loss of all her money, the deceit and suicide of her husband and been a single, working mother to her daughter; she could cope with Max Bedford dumping her. Surely? Whatever happened and whatever he said, she was determined that, at no time this evening, would she say she was sorry – or storm off.

She said her goodbyes to Jess and Susie and marched assuredly down the path towards him, in spite of the new layer of snow. She had no idea where they were going so she wore a plain red, wool dress and cardigan beneath her coat. She had her father’s diaries in a bag in one hand – no matter what, Margaret deserved to read them – and a huge box of tissues in her handbag in the other. She would try not to cry but even she knew that was a foregone conclusion, so she may as well be prepared. It would be bad enough being dumped, to be dumped and have a runny nose, was unthinkable.

‘You’re late,’ she said when he got out and came to the passenger door to greet her.

He was obviously so surprised by her comment that he didn’t reply but merely held the door open whilst she got in.

‘You look very pretty,’ he said sliding into the driver’s seat.

‘Thank you.’ She stared straight ahead. ‘I’ve brought my father’s diaries for you to give to Margaret. She should read them. She can give them back to me when she’s finished.’

He started the car and drove off without a word.

‘Oh,’ she said as he turned into the drive of Beckleston Hall. ‘I didn’t mean you had to give them to her now.’

‘I know, that isn’t why we’re here.’

‘Oh. Why then? Is ... is Margaret going to tell me her side of the story?’

‘I have no idea. Probably I suppose.’

‘I ... I don’t understand,’ she said after a few minutes of silence. ‘If we’re not here because of the diaries and we’re not here because Margaret wants to tell me her side of the story, why are we here?’

He pulled up outside the house, got out, and opened the passenger door.

‘Well,’ he said, shutting the car door behind her. ‘To be totally honest, I was very tempted to throw you in the empty pond and save us both a lot of trouble but I thought better of it and instead, decided it’s time you met my mother.’ He grabbed her arm and shoved it through his, marching her towards the house.