Lizzie's Secret (21 page)

Sebastian sat down in Beth's vacant chair. ‘Did that hat your friend is wearing take a long time to do?'

‘Too long,' Lizzie said. ‘To earn anything on it, I would need to sell it for four pounds. It was just a whim…'

‘Beautiful though, like its creator,' he said. ‘I always knew you had talent, Lizzie, which is why I should have liked you to work for me.'

‘Perhaps I should have done,' she said. ‘I've learned so much working with Ed – but sometimes I do want to make more exotic hats.'

‘I could sell a hat like the one your friend is wearing for more than seven pounds,' Sebastian said reflectively. ‘Of course it would be a special customer and you couldn't sell more than one. If it could be done in less time and retailed cheaper – but I suppose individual designs will always be more expensive.'

‘Yes, perhaps.'

‘May I get you another drink – perhaps something different?'

‘I'm fine, thank you,' Lizzie replied. ‘I don't drink much wine… I'm afraid, I'm not used to the high life.'

‘My friends enjoy these parties, so I give them. I'm just as happy with a quiet dinner for two.' There was something in his eyes at that moment, something reflective and sad that made her wonder about the real man – the man beneath the successful and polished façade.

‘Yes, that's what my husband likes,' Lizzie said and his eyes met hers. ‘He is in the RAF and I miss him, but next week he'll be home on leave.'

‘Why did you get married so suddenly?' Sebastian asked, a brooding expression in his eyes. ‘It was rather sudden, wasn't it?'

‘It wasn't because I was pregnant, if that's what you're thinking. My uncle died and I had to leave my home and…' the words deserted her, because she didn't know why she'd rushed into marriage with a man she was no longer sure she loved.

‘Why didn't you have a little patience?' he asked, his expression somewhere between exasperation and disappointment. ‘You'll wake up and discover you made a mistake one of these days, Lizzie.'

‘Why should I? I love Harry…' She raised her eyebrows in teasing mockery. ‘Would you rather I'd been one of your many girlfriends?' She let her gaze wander over the garden and all the lovely ladies wandering about in their beautiful clothes. ‘I think I'd get lost in this crowd.'

‘You would never be lost in any crowd.'

‘I'm not that special, Sebastian, and you know it. It's only because I said no that you're interested.'

‘Why don't you trust me? I could help you even now – if you would let me…' Again, there was that challenge in his eyes, making her aware of him on so many levels, not least the attractive man who liked to flirt with any woman that came within his orbit.

‘You're very kind, but I have to try to make a success of things myself.'

‘I admire your independent spirit, Lizzie. I hope it works out for you, and I mean that sincerely – whatever you think of me.' For a moment longer his intense gaze seemed to dwell on her and once again she felt that tightness in her throat, a needy wanting that she knew she must crush now, before it caused harm. ‘Well, I shall have to love you and leave you for now – but remember you have a friend in me if you need me, Lizzie Larch.'

Lizzie understood passion now as she had not before her marriage, at least Harry had done that for her – and it had made her realise how attractive Sebastian was, and what that look in his eyes really meant.

He rose and went off to speak to some of the other young women milling around his large garden. Lizzie stood up and wandered off, taking the chance to explore some of the more secluded areas. She needed a little time to think about her reaction to Sebastian, because it was unexpected and unwanted.

There were several shaded walks, because the garden was huge, and she wandered past an ornamental pool with a fancy bridge over it and found a seat on the other side, sitting in the shade of a tree to watch the party from afar. Beth was circulating and a lot of the women were talking to her, clearly intrigued by her hat; she took it off and let one of them try it on, and the young woman giggled and preened herself to her companions.

Lizzie wasn't sure what to think. Most of them seemed to find the hat amusing, but she wasn't sure they would want one of their own. After a while, a man came strolling over the bridge to her and smiled.

‘May I sit down?' he asked. ‘I'm John Saunders and my girlfriend has fallen in love with your witch's hat. Your friend told her where you work and she wants to come and see you – we're getting married at the end of October and she would like something different, though I'm not sure she would be brave enough to wear a hat like that…'

‘I could probably trim some hats to suit her if she wanted.'

‘I'll tell her then. Wendy is a little shy and didn't want to ask you herself. Why don't you come and circulate? I'm sure they are all dying to meet you.'

‘Thank you, Mr Saunders, I will.'

He stood up and they walked back together to the lawn where the other guests were still enjoying themselves. She'd been feeling a bit out of it, as if she didn't belong, but now she began to enjoy herself.

Even if the witch's hat was not saleable, it had certainly aroused people's interest and that was what she needed. If only a few of those who had promised to visit the workshops kept their word, she might get Mr Oliver to listen to her idea about bespoke orders. God knew, she needed something to fill her empty life…

*

It was past seven when they left the party. Mark Allen had offered to drive them both home and Beth accepted without consulting Lizzie. She was a little dubious about it and would have preferred to catch the underground, but Beth had been drinking more than her and was flushed with triumph.

‘Everyone was fantastic over your hat,' she gushed ‘You should set up a shop of your own.'

‘I don't think I'm quite ready for that, Beth.'

Lizzie wasn't quite as convinced that the women Beth had talked to would actually seek her out.

Mark dropped her outside her flat and Beth refused to come in with her.

‘I'll see you soon,' she said and handed Lizzie the hat. ‘You'd better have this back. I don't want it to get spoiled.'

Lizzie was going to tell her that she could keep it, but decided to hang on to it for the moment

Walking upstairs to her little flat, Lizzie smelled something, her nose wrinkling at the unpleasant odour. Was that something burning?

She went into the kitchen first and saw that the remains of beans on toast were on the table and dirty saucepans in the sink. Her heart caught and she rushed into the sitting room to discover it was empty, but she could smell cigarette smoke.

‘Harry…' she called and then saw the note propped against the plant pot on the sideboard.

Where the hell are you, Lizzie? I know you didn't expect me, but I got a twelve-hour pass. I waited as long as I could… I thought you would be home. Harry.

Her throat tightened as she realised she'd missed him. If only she'd known; she would much rather have had a few hours with Harry than spend them at that garden party.

Brushing away foolish tears, Lizzie sat down and concentrated on looking through her most recent drawings. It would be silly to cry just because she'd missed Harry.

Yet even as she worked on the design, her mind kept turning to Harry and the few precious hours she'd missed with him. He would wonder where she'd been and when he knew she'd been to a party at Sebastian Winters' house… he was going to be angry.

Tony was waiting for Beth the next evening. He looked serious and her heart caught. She'd loved him once, at least she was almost sure she had, though after the way she'd responded to Mark Allen's kisses the previous evening she wasn't certain how she felt now. For a few minutes in Mark's car she'd been swept away on a wave of a feeling that was new to her. It was different to anything she'd felt for Tony and she'd almost given into her need, but just in time he'd pulled away.

‘It wouldn't be fair to take advantage, Beth,' he'd said apologetically. ‘I like you an awful lot, dear girl, but we don't know each other – and I don't want to make trouble for you.'

‘No, I don't want that either. Thanks for being honest…'

‘I should like to get to know you,' Mark said earnestly. ‘Look, I'm going to be honest with you. We're from different worlds, Beth, and my father expects and all that… but I'm taking the first step to breaking out of the traces by joining the Merchant Navy, and I'd like to see you again – if you're willing to take a chance on an idiot like me…'

‘You're not an idiot,' Beth said quickly. ‘You've been honest, Mark, so I'll be the same. Something happened just now between us that I don't understand. I've been courting regularly, but I've never felt like that with him, even though I thought I wanted to marry him. We fell out recently and I'm not sure how I feel – but I should like to meet you again…'

‘What about the flicks one night - and a drink afterwards? We should get to know one another, Beth – do it slowly and not rush things.'

‘Yes,' she agreed and kissed his cheek. ‘When shall we meet?'

‘Not tomorrow – Tuesday? Do you want me to pick you up?'

‘No, we'll meet somewhere. My parents would be on Tony's side – and they'd say you were only after one thing, because you belong to a different class.'

Mark laughed. ‘You're a breath of fresh air to me, Beth. I feel as if I've been running and accidentally fallen down a ravine. The view is beautiful but I'm not sure of the landing…'

His fanciful words made Beth giggle. She was breathless and nervous of seeing him again and yet it made her feel wonderful to know that he wanted to see her.

Tony was glowering now as she reached him. ‘I thought you were never coming. Where have you been?'

‘I was asked to work later to finish a report.'

‘It's time you gave notice and came to work for me – for us. You could work at your own pace, Beth. Once we're married…'

‘I don't know how you dare ask me. . You haven't been near me for ages and I know you've been seeing Sylvia Butcher…' she flung the accusation at him even though she wasn't sure.

‘She isn't important, just a little fling. You know I love you, Beth. I want to get married and be together properly…'

‘Dad won't give us permission yet. Besides, I'm not certain it's what I want…' Beth broke off as she saw the flash of anger in Tony's eyes. ‘I'm sorry, but you haven't bothered to take me out or visit for ages.'

‘When I come, you're never there. I had to tell you, Beth. I've got my call-up papers and I leave in three weeks….'

‘Oh, Tony, I'm sorry. Do you really have to go – can't you get out of it somehow?'

‘Why should I? There's not much for me round here, is there?'

‘What do you mean?'

‘You've been seeing someone else, Beth. I saw you get out of his car last night. Your mother said you would be home soon, but it got later and later and then I left to wait by the stop.'

‘If you'd let me know you were coming, I'd have been at home – but you gave me the impression we were over.'

‘I'd almost decided to finish it ages ago,' he muttered, looking sullen. ‘I came round to sort it out last night – but then I saw you get out of his car…'

He couldn't have seen her kissing Mark, because they hadn't kissed outside her house but in a dark spot a few streets away, where she wasn't likely to be seen and recognised. Besides, Tony had no right to expect her to just sit around waiting for him.

‘Are you going to deny it?'

‘No, I shan't deny it, Tony. Mark gave me a lift back from the party we went to last night – and he's asked me out tomorrow.'

Tony grabbed her wrist. ‘I forbid you to go. You're my girl and I don't want you messin' with blokes like that – do you hear me? That sort only wants a girl like you for one thing.'

‘So now I'm a cheap tart am I?'

‘I didn't mean that – but you should stay where you belong, with blokes like me.' He tightened his grip on her arm.

‘I don't belong to you,' Beth told him coldly. ‘Take your hand off me, Tony. You're hurting me.'

‘You deserve me to really hurt you…' he was angrier than she'd ever seen him.

‘If you hit me I shall never speak to you again.' Beth faced him, angry herself now. ‘I mean what I say. I certainly shan't marry a bully – and I'm not sure marriage is what I want now. I've signed up for a nursing course…'

‘You're going away?'

‘They haven't told me yet, but probably. I have to report next week…'

‘You can leave your bloody job when you want, but you wouldn't do it for me.'

‘I'm not interested in shop work…'

‘You're an ungrateful bitch, Beth Court. I wanted us to be married and you would have had a home and a living if there's a war and… I didn't come back. It was as much for you as me – but I see you've had your head turned. Meet your bleedin' rich bloke. Just don't come running to me when he leaves you with a bun in the oven…'

‘I shan't!' she cried angrily, but as he walked away she felt a crushing pain in her chest. This time he was really angry: this time he wouldn't come back. ‘Tony, I'm sorry…' she cried but the words were only a whisper and he didn't turn his head. Beth felt the tears on her cheeks as she watched him run and catch a bus.

‘Tony, I do love you… I did love you so much,' she said into the empty street.

Oh, she didn't know how she felt anymore. She'd loved the man she'd thought Tony was but he seemed to have changed – and now there was Mark Allen…