Logan's Redemption (31 page)

Foreboding formed a knot in her chest. It was time for him to move on. But then why was he so upset over her parents’ giving Josh a car?

Logan paced the room, a sleek lion ready to spring. When he turned to face her, a vein throbbed in his temple. “I knew Josh was spoiled, but I didn’t realize how much. Giving him that expensive car was irresponsible of your parents, especially when they went against you. You’re his parent, not them.”

She bristled. “I know that. But you have no right to say anything against my parents. I couldn’t have raised Josh without them.”

Pain flashed in Logan’s eyes. “I wasn’t around. I understand that. And your parents are good people. But they’re blind where Josh is concerned. They knew how you felt and they got him a car anyway. What kind of message does that send Josh?”

She raised her chin. “I’ll have a talk with my parents. I’ll make them send the car back.”

“Why do you think they’ll listen to you this time? Josh needs a firm hand. And he doesn’t get it with them or you.”

Anger propelled her to his side. They faced each other, like fighters squaring off. “You’ve been his father less than a month,” she said. “And you’re telling me how to handle Josh?” 

He gripped her upper arms. “That’s not quite fair is it, Doriana? You tried to hide the truth from me. If I hadn’t confronted Josh that day in your office, would you have told me at all?”

“I was protecting my son the only way I knew.”

He tensed. “Protecting him from his own father? And how much of an effort did you make to find me all these years?”

Doriana jerked free of his grip. “Even if I found you, would you have come back?” 

He flinched. She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him and tell him she was sorry for her harsh words, but he’d hurt her too. Would they ever make peace?

“You’ve never changed your opinion of me, have you?” he asked in a hard voice. “I’m still the boy from the bad neighborhood, not fit to be a father to your son.” With a contemptuous glance, he turned away and strode to the fireplace. He leaned on the mantle, his profile to her. His chest rose and fell with his shallow breathing.

Doriana studied him. His jaw set in a tight line. His entire body looked coiled and ready to fight. Or maybe flee. Tears sprang to her eyes. They’d come so far in the last weeks. How had it all gone so terribly wrong?

“What do you want, Logan?”  She tangled her fingers through the long strand of pearls she wore, trying to rein in the anxiety that churned her stomach.

Logan’s hazel gaze impaled her. “I want to be in Josh’s life.”

“What?”  She yanked on the pearl necklace. The strand came apart in her hands. She watched helplessly as beads rolled all over the floor.
My life is coming apart the same way
. She raised her gaze to find a stony-faced Logan staring at her with unyielding eyes.  

“What’s your answer?”  He spit the words out.

“How long will you be in his life, Logan? You’ll leave again and what will happen to Josh? I will not see him hurt.”

Logan was at her side in an instant. He grasped her shoulders. She winced at the anger in his eyes. The twinkling lights of the tree reflected on the golden stubble of his beard, mocking the tension that arced between them like an electrical current.

“I’m Josh’s father,” he rasped. “I’m not some stranger, here one day and gone the next.”

“Aren’t you?” She bit down on her lip. Hurt shattered the chiseled planes of Logan’s face. She glimpsed the vulnerable young boy he’d once been, the boy she’d fallen in love with. He released her as if he couldn’t bear to touch her. Her throat thickened with tears.

“So that’s it.” The quiet calmness of his voice damned her more than shouts. “I’ve never been more than a temporary diversion to you.”

“That’s not true,” she whispered. “I loved you. I....”  She stopped herself before she blurted that she loved him now.   

“Do you really know what love is?”  His gaze raked her. “You have no problem giving your body to me, but I’m not worth bothering with on any other level.”

Fury and pain pierced her like a carpenter’s awl. “How dare you talk to me like that?”

He released a breath. “I’m sorry. I was out of line.” Sadness creased his features. “I just want to be in my son’s life.”

“How do I know you’ll be around for him?”

“Trust me. Damn it, just trust me.”

Could she trust him? Maybe she should ask him to stay. What if he said no? Could she take that chance? Her insides shook. “I can’t.”

“You can’t trust me?”  Steel hardened his voice.

She shook her head. “No, that’s not it.”

“Then what is it, Dorie?”

Words dried in her throat. He had to want her enough to never leave again. She wouldn’t beg.

“Damn you,” he said in a thick whisper.

He pulled her to him and took her lips in a bruising kiss. She held herself tight, resisting his pull. His relentless lips demanded her surrender. She could no more fight him than she could stop breathing. And she loved him. She twisted her arms around his neck and urged his lips apart with her tongue.

He let out a low groan. His lips softened against hers and he opened his mouth for her. He tasted like cinnamon coffee and mint. She pressed closer. He might leave and break her heart. But he belonged to her now.

They slid to the floor together. He leaned over her, his eyes dark and mysterious in the soft Christmas lights. His unique scent of male and citrus mingled with the pine of the tree. Those scents would forever remind her of Logan.

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down. Molding her body to his, she kissed him with all the love and hope she couldn’t voice. His taut frame covered her. The urgency of his mouth and tongue excited her to a new wildness. She would love him tonight with all she had to give.  

His mouth plundered hers while his hands wandered down her body, massaging, stroking, driving her crazy with want. Her soft cries filled the quiet room.

He leaned on his elbows and looked down at her. Desire darkened his eyes, but something else stirred deep in the gold-flecked depths, something that reached out to the longings in her soul. “Love me tonight, Logan,” she whispered.

“God help me, but I need you.” He undressed her and flung her clothes aside. His own quickly followed.

She lay down again and held her arms out to him. He lowered himself on top of her. His flesh burned her heated skin. The wool of the Oriental rug pressed into her bare back. The slight pain intensified her passion for him.

“Now,” she whispered. She wrapped her hand around his hard penis and guided him to her. He entered her, taking her with a possessiveness that inflamed her. Arching her hips against his, she molded her body to his. She belonged to Logan. Only this moment mattered. She met his every hard thrust, urging him with her body to make her his forever. She barely recognized the sound of her voice crying out his name.

He cupped her bottom, lifting her to meet him, driving deeper and deeper into her.

Her climax erupted, fast and furious, like a shower of dazzling stars, shooting her into the sky. The lights from the tree overhead blurred and danced before her eyes.

Logan shuddered with his own climax. She clung to him, running her hands over his muscled back, reveling in his heat and masculinity.

He collapsed on top of her. The fragrance of pine joined with the musk of their lovemaking.

She wound her arms around Logan’s neck and closed her eyes. She would sear this moment onto her brain.

* * * *

Doriana stood at the kitchen window and sipped coffee, inhaling the sweet vanilla almond scent. The first rays of sunlight teased through the curtains and danced on the stainless steel appliances. It promised to be a perfect Christmas day.

Her body thrummed with a new awareness. After their frenzied lovemaking under the tree, Logan had carried her to bed and made love to her slowly. Several times. She gripped the mug, remembering just how thoroughly he’d loved her.

For the first time ever she spent the night in the arms of the man she loved. She smiled, picturing Logan asleep in her bed, eyes closed and long lashes fanned against high cheekbones. He looked young and untouched by life’s cares. And very virile, even in sleep.

Their lovemaking had had a bittersweet quality. Was Logan trying to tell her that he would leave soon? Tears threatened and she brushed them away. She couldn’t lose him again. Maybe she should forget her pride and her fear and ask Logan to stay.   

How did Josh feel about Logan and did he want Logan in his life? Despite her love for Logan and her despair at the thought of his leaving, Josh’s welfare came first.

The sound of bare feet on tile pulled her from her confused thoughts. Her pulse quickened. Logan’s heat reached out to her before he touched her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. “Come back to bed,” he whispered in her ear.

She leaned into him. Her perfume scented him, evidence of their lovemaking. Desire pulled low in her stomach.

“Do you want coffee?” she asked. “Or don’t you have that addiction?”

“I want you,” he rasped. “You’re my addiction.” He slipped his hands inside her robe and massaged her breasts. Her nipples, tender from their lovemaking, pebbled in response. The silk of her robe brushed against her body like a sensual whisper. The coffee mug slid out of her hand to land on the floor. Her body felt as liquid and hot as the coffee that splashed onto the tile.

“We have to go to my parents for breakfast,” she said.

His hands trailed a path down her stomach. He caressed her mound. She felt the wet rush of arousal between her thighs and moaned.

“It’s early,” he said. “I haven’t finished giving you your Christmas gift.” Pressing her close, he slid fingers inside her.

Her body quivered at his touch and the promise of sensual pleasure. “I like your gifts,” she whispered.

* * * *

Late afternoon shadows pearled the room and wrapped around Logan and Doriana as they reclined in her bed watching a classic Christmas movie. Logan wished their sensual isolation could last forever, but the outside world would soon intrude. They had to deal with her parents’ giving Josh a car. But not now.

He and Doriana had spent most of Christmas at her parents’ and had come home late last night, too tired to do more than fall asleep in each other’s arms. He smiled. They’d made up for that today. Lucky for them, Josh had begged to stay at his grandparents a few more days.    

Doriana snuggled closer. Her soft skin, smooth and hot, stirred desire in him. He kissed the top of her head. “We’ve spent all day making love and I want you again.”

She laughed, a low throaty sound, and wiggled her naked body against his.

He groaned. “Don’t do that.”

She looked up at him with a seductive smile. “This is our time, Logan. We never had this before. And Josh will be home tomorrow.”

He kissed her lightly on the lips and trailed fingers slowly over her breast. “You are one insatiable woman.”

“I’m making up for lost time,” she whispered.

The look in her eyes provoked a craving deep inside him. He needed so much more than her body. What did she want from him?  

“Let’s not waste time talking,” he rasped.

Much later, Logan lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. The dim light from the bedside lamp lent a rosy glow to the room. Doriana dozed beside him, her warm body curled against his.

Thoughts tripped all over his mind like green Army recruits on maneuvers. He and Doriana had laughed and talked and made hot, sweet love over the last two days. But neither of them mentioned a future together or his need to be part of Josh’s life. Or the matter of Josh’s car. The unresolved issues hung over them like a vengeful enemy ready to snatch their happiness.

Logan raised himself on his elbows and looked down at her. Silky black hair spread over the pillow. Her full lips were swollen from his kisses. Could he give her up again? Hell no! Sadness and frustration stabbed him with the force of a bayonet. If Doriana loved him, she wouldn’t hesitate to ask him to share her life and Josh’s. But she hadn’t asked.

Time was running out. This assignment would be over soon. He’d promised Dan secrecy, but he wanted Doriana to know the truth. He couldn’t wait any longer, hoping she would accept him for himself and not for the success he’d become.   

He’d take her on whatever terms he could get her. Doriana and Josh were his family. He’d do right by them. And if she didn’t want him, at least he’d have his son. Damn it! He wanted her too. How had he spent the last sixteen years without her? He’d tell her the truth tomorrow, in the light of day when he could think clearly.

The shrill sound of the phone disrupted the quiet. Doriana stirred. Stomach tightening, Logan reached across her and grabbed the cordless on the bedside table. Was it the nursing home calling to say that his father’s death was imminent? He’d been expecting that call for days now.

“Tanner here,” he said.

“Oh, thank God you’re home.” Lena Callahan’s near-hysterical voice hit him like ice water.

He sat straighter. “What’s wrong?”