Loki's Wolves (32 page)

Paul snorted through his gag and rolled his eyes.

“You’re making a mistake,” Fen said, and then he stepped out of the shed and pulled the door closed behind him.

There weren’t a lot of times in Fen’s life that he’d ever felt like he belonged. Sure, with Laurie, he had, but even there, he’d had to keep a lot of secrets. Being part of a team, being one of the descendants of the North, being destined to do something real and important felt awesome—and Fen had a sinking feeling that it was also about to end. The way Matt had looked at him when he said he’d wanted to talk made it pretty clear that one of the Raiders had told Matt about Fen.

As he walked toward Baldwin’s house, Fen admitted to himself that he should’ve told Matt and Laurie about the Raiders and the deal with delivering Matt, but he couldn’t. Now, he wasn’t sure what to say
or
what Matt knew. He liked Matt well enough, all things considered, and even if he didn’t, he respected him. That didn’t mean he wanted to have their little talk in front of everyone. A trickle of fear crept over him at the thought of not only being kicked out, but of everyone hating him.

What if Matt thinks I’m a traitor? I didn’t do it, at least not the worst part.

Fen wasn’t sure what Laurie would do. She’d been the most important person in his life for as long as he could remember, his partner in trouble, but it wasn’t just the two of them anymore. She trusted Matt now. Fen paced across the porch and back into the yard, thinking about the situation. Baldwin was cool. He’d be decent no matter what. The twins were unpredictable; they were growing on him, but they
were still pretty apart from the group. Astrid gave him a bad feeling; he didn’t care what she thought of him, but the others seemed to like her. If the Raiders said something that Matt believed, if the others listened to the Raiders, things could easily turn against him, and although he wasn’t going to admit it aloud, he didn’t want to be kicked out. He needed to talk to Laurie and Matt.

He had his hand out to grab the doorknob to go into the house when the door opened. Laurie stood there, scowling, and the trickle of fear exploded. “What?”

“I’m tired of this,” she started. She closed the door behind her and walked over to Fen.

“Of what?”

“You acting like I’m unable to take care of myself at all!” she exclaimed. “You can’t keep doing that.”

Every worry about being asked to leave intensified. If he left, he was taking Laurie with him. There was no way he could leave her here without him. Uncle Stig, Kris, the whole family really, they’d all hate him if Laurie got hurt—or worse.

“Yeah? Well you could’ve been hurt,” Fen growled.

Laurie poked him in the chest. “So could you, or Matt, or Baldwin—”

“Actually, I couldn’t,” Baldwin interrupted.

Fen looked around in confusion.

“Up here,” Baldwin said. He was leaning out of an upstairs
window, staring down at them. “Matt could’ve been hurt, and both of you. The wolves really seemed to hate you, Fen. They said you were on their side and you gave them the shield.”

Fen and Laurie turned to stare at Baldwin at the same time.

“If we have time, like later or something, could you open a door so I can see some mistletoe?” Baldwin asked.

Without looking at his cousin, Fen knew she had the exact same incredulous expression on her face.

“No,” Fen said levelly.

Baldwin held up both hands in a placating gesture. “Just a thought!”

“A dumb one,” Fen snapped, but then felt instantly guilty when Baldwin looked crushed. Of all the descendants, Baldwin was the only one who didn’t actually irritate him. It was some strange result of who he was—
everyone
liked Balder in the myths—but knowing that there was probably weird god stuff in the mix didn’t make it less real.

“I’m going to order pizzas,” Baldwin blurted. “That’s what I came to ask. Do you want anything special?”

“Whatever you want,” Fen said, as nicely as he could. He felt embarrassed because Laurie was watching, but it wasn’t Baldwin’s fault he was weird any more than it was Laurie’s fault she opened doors or Fen’s fault he turned into a wolf. Fen glanced up at Baldwin. “I’m sorry.”

Baldwin grinned. “It’s fine.” And then he wandered off, calling out questions about pepperoni and olives.

Once he was gone, Fen and Laurie were left alone on the porch. It was hard being around Laurie now that she knew his secrets, hard being around all these people, and hard trying to be himself without upsetting any of them. He braced himself for her to yell at him about the Raiders.

But instead of jumping on the things Baldwin had just said, Laurie continued on with the rant she’d started when she’d come outside: “You need to trust me, Fen. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want any of you to, either, but if we don’t stop Ragnarök, we all will. So, if we are going to stop this, we all have to do the things we can do. I’m part of this, and you need to deal with it.”

“I just want to keep you safe. Thorsen does, too,” Fen muttered.

“Matt’s coming around. Maybe you could try to do the same thing,” she suggested.

Fen grunted. “Maybe you could stay where it’s safe. I’m the descendant who
has
to fight, not you.”

She stood up and glared down at him. “Fine! You fight, but don’t you even try to act like I’m not helping, too. I opened that door that got us the shield that
you
gave the Raiders.”

Fen glared right back. She had heard what Baldwin had said; he’d thought for a moment that she’d missed it. He shook his head. “Your skill is to open doors, to
escape
. How are you going to protect yourself from the monsters that keep coming?”

She blinked away the tears he could see forming in her eyes. “We’re a team. We rescue each other and fight together. That’s what teams do. That’s how we’ll stop Ragnarök. You’re a wolf. Think of it like a pack.”

Thinking about packs was the problem. For most of his life, the most important person in his life was Laurie; he’d always figured they’d be a pack of two once she transformed—or that he’d hide what he was to keep her safe if she didn’t become a wolf. He might not have parents, but he did have a sorta sister in her. If he was going to be a good packmate, a good almost-brother, he’d have to keep her safe, so if she wasn’t going to let him protect her, maybe it was best to go home, leave the world-saving to Thorsen. “Well, maybe I don’t want to be part of this pack! Maybe we ought to both go home, where it’s safe.”

“You’re such an idiot! There is no
safe
anymore. The world is ending.” She went inside, slamming the door and leaving him outside. He was alone, and he told himself that it was what he wanted, that he didn’t want to be part of any team—except that the moment she left, he had to admit to himself that it wasn’t what he really wanted at all. He just didn’t want Laurie to get hurt—or to find out what he’d done and hate him.

Fen rubbed his hand over his face. He was sore, bruised, tired, and, if he was totally honest, he was scared. It was one thing to deal with the Raiders, but it was another to think
that if he failed—if
any
of them failed—the world would end. That was a lot worse than getting smacked around a little. At first, he’d thought Skull and Hattie were crazy, talking about the end of the world, but now that he was in the middle of a fight against them to stop the end of the world, it felt so…
big.
What if Matt asked him to leave? What if he didn’t, but they failed? What if the serpent killed Matt? What if they went up against trolls or mara or who knew what else and Laurie got hurt? What if Baldwin died, like in the myths? What if he or Laurie somehow turned evil or whatever because they were Loki’s descendants?
How do you even know if you’re turning evil?
He closed his eyes and tried not to think about any of the questions he couldn’t answer, especially the last one. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before the door opened. He expected it to be Laurie or Baldwin, but when he turned his head to look, he saw Matt.

“Did you think I wouldn’t find out you stole the shield?” Matt asked. “You could have told me. Then you could have come into the camp with me.”

“I
was
in the camp. I saved your butt, Thorsen. Again. I’m not sure what you mean, but—”

“Don’t,” Matt interrupted. “I get it now. You offered to get the shield back alone. Then you didn’t want to come into camp. You didn’t want me to know you were involved with the Raiders.”

“Wolves pay dues,” Fen said. “That was mine and
Laurie’s. I didn’t know the shield mattered, just that I needed to get it.”

“And the part about delivering
me
?” Matt asked.

Fen froze. He’d known it was a bad idea to go after the shield, but he hadn’t thought Skull would actually tell Matt.
What? Did he stop midfight for a heart-to-heart?
Fen growled low in his throat. “I didn’t, though! I fought at your side against
Raiders
. I tramped all over with you and fought monsters at your side. I mighta agreed to deliver you, but I didn’t do it.”

They faced off. Fen’s heart was racing like they were fighting, even though all they were doing was staring at each other.

Finally, Matt rolled his shoulders and nodded. “Okay. I believe you. But no more secrets. We’ve gotta be a team now, trust each other, watch each other’s backs so no one gets hurt.”

Fen wanted to say something smart, to pretend he hadn’t been wrong, but he couldn’t. He would feel horrible if someone got hurt because of him, and he did want to save the world. He lifted a shoulder in a small shrug, but he stayed silent.

“At Ragnarök, Loki was Thor’s enemy,” Matt said. “But in other stories, they were friends. They traveled together. They fought side by side. We need to be that version. Friends.”

And Fen didn’t know what to say, so he settled on, “Whatever.”

Matt turned and left, and Fen half expected Ray, Reyna, and Astrid to all come out to lecture him about something else. It felt like everyone wanted to tell him what he had done wrong or, worse yet, what he would do wrong.

Twenty minutes later, when the pizza arrived and Baldwin came out to pay for it, Fen took one of the two boxes and followed Baldwin into the kitchen. Astrid was already in there.

“I got everything out,” she said. She pointed at the counter where plates, napkins, glasses, salt, pepper, Parmesan cheese, and red-pepper flakes were all lined up neatly.

“Thank you,” Baldwin said.

Astrid beamed at him. “You did everything. This part was easy.”

“Suck-up,” Fen muttered.

Instead of snapping back at him, Astrid turned her supercharged smile at him. “Oh, and thank you, too, Fen, for being
you
!”

He snapped his teeth at her, and she left the kitchen.

After Astrid had left, Fen said, “I don’t trust her.”

“You don’t trust anyone,” Baldwin said.

“Not true.” Fen picked up a slice of pizza and took a bite. “I trust Laurie, Thorsen… and you.”

Baldwin shrugged. “Sure, but everyone trusts me. It’s
like the not-getting-hurt thing. I don’t think I count. Matt’s our leader. You might not like Astrid, but she was right about that. He’s the one who’s going to lead us into the big battle, right? You kind of
have
to trust him, or you wouldn’t be here.”

Fen knew Baldwin was right, but he still didn’t like Astrid or the twins.
Maybe wolves don’t like witches?
He chomped the pizza while he thought about it. He’d ask Matt about that later. Right now, he just wanted some downtime. Baldwin was cool about the talking thing, too. He wasn’t pushy, like Laurie and Matt were.

“Food?” Reyna—or maybe Ray—said as the twins came in. They were more of a single entity than made sense to Fen.

Everyone else followed. Laurie, Matt, and Astrid were laughing at something, and Baldwin stood there grinning in that way of his that made Fen want to get along with the witch kids. Maybe he was just being difficult.

“Do you want to pick a movie with me?” Baldwin gestured toward the door with a slice of pizza.

Fen nodded and grabbed another slice.

They abandoned the kitchen to the others and headed to the living room to figure out what to watch. They had a better chance of avoiding some girly nonsense if they picked it while all three girls were in the kitchen. It was nice to have someone on his side, too. Laurie seemed so mad at him, and Matt wasn’t exactly
mad
, but Fen thought that was only
because he’d decided not to be. He’d looked pretty hurt over the whole Raiders thing.

I’d like to pound Skull.

“Fen?”

He looked at Baldwin, who was pulling movies out of a cabinet.

“You’re growling again,” Baldwin said. “It’s a little weird.” Then he held up both hands so Fen could see the options.
Star Wars
was in one hand; in the other was a movie with an explosion on the cover and another with a cowboy on it. “Space or Earth? Monsters or humans?”

“Any of them. Just nothing about dances or anything”—Fen made air quotes with his fingers—“heartwarming.”

They got the movie set up just as everyone was coming into the living room. Astrid flopped down on the floor. Ray and Reyna were on the sofa with Laurie. That left two chairs. Matt, being Matt, offered one to Astrid—who laughed and told him, “You take it. I’m happier on the floor.”