Lone Eagle (29 page)

“You couldn't help it, Kate,” Andy said, and meant it. “He was a great love, you were crazy about him, and he came back from the dead. It's hard to beat that. Better then than if we'd have been married.”

“That would have been awful,” she said, horrified.

“Yes, it would have. So I guess we were lucky. And you needed to get him out of your system once and for all.”

“What if I never do?” she said miserably, and he laughed at her.

“You will. But not if you become an alcoholic. You're drunk, Kate.”

“I am
not,”
she said, looking outraged, and a little vague.

“You are, but you're cute that way. Maybe we should dance before you pass out or get any drunker.”

It had been a nice evening, and she had a terrific headache the next day, but he brought her croissants and aspirin and orange juice at her apartment. Kate wore dark glasses while she made breakfast for them.

“Why didn't you bring your scotch and cornflakes? That would have been better,” she said mournfully, with her headache.

“You're turning into a lush,” he said as he played with her puppy and smiled.

“Heartbreak does that.” She burned the croissants, spilled the orange juice, and broke the yolks when she made fried eggs for him, but he ate all of it and thanked her afterward. “I'm a terrible cook,” she confessed.

“Is that why he left you?” It was the first time he had asked her.

“I left him,” she corrected, hiding behind the dark glasses. “He didn't want to marry me, or have kids. I told you, he's married to his planes.”

“He's a very rich man now,” Andy said admiringly. There were a lot of things one had to admire about Joe, his skill, his genius, his talent, but not his judgment about women. Andy thought he was a fool for not marrying Kate, but he was glad he had been.

“Why aren't you married?” Kate asked, sprawling out on the couch, and taking off the dark glasses finally

“I don't know. Too scared, too young, too busy. No one terrific. Since you. I ate worms for a while, and then I started having too much fun. I've got time. So do you. Don't rush it. I see too many divorces at the law firm.”

“Not according to my mother, about having time, I mean. She's panicked.”

“I would be too, in her shoes. You're not easy to get rid of. Just don't cook for them. Let them find out later. I'd forgotten what a lousy cook you are. I'd have made breakfast myself if I'd remembered.”

“Stop complaining. You ate everything.”

“Next time, scotch and cornflakes.”

They went for a walk that afternoon, in Central Park. It was a crisp winter day, and there was a thin blanket of snow on the ground, and Kate felt better when they got back to her apartment. They had taken the dog with them. It all seemed so comfortable and normal. He was easy to be with. Just like the old days. And that night they went to a movie. They were spending a lot of time together. And she was suddenly less lonely. It wasn't high romance, it was more like high friendship.

For the next six weeks, they saw a lot of each other. Dinners, movies, parties, friends. He came to have lunch with her at the museum. On Saturdays they went grocery shopping together, and he did errands with her. It was nice having someone to do things with. Kate realized in all her time with Joe he never had time for any of that. He was too busy building the business, although she had loved building it with him. But it was fun being with
Andy. He had more time for her, and he enjoyed spending it with her.

On Valentine's Day he appeared at her apartment with a bouquet of two dozen red roses in his arms, and a huge heart-shaped box of candy.

“My God, what did I do to deserve all this?” she asked, grinning broadly. She had been missing Joe all day, and reminded herself that she had to forget him once and for all. Even after all this time, it still seemed like an insuperable challenge to her. It seemed incredible to Kate that someone she had loved so much for so long was perfectly able to live without her. It seemed so wrong, after all they'd been through, that they hadn't been able to work it out and end up together. They had each gotten tangled up in their own fears. It was depressing to realize that fairy tales didn't have happy endings, they had sad ones. It wasn't the way life was supposed to be.

“What are you looking so gloomy about?” He could see it in her eyes. She couldn't hide it from him.

“Feeling sorry for myself again.”

“How boring. Have a chocolate. Eat the flowers, whichever you prefer. Get dressed. I'm taking you to dinner.”

“What about all your other girlfriends?” She felt guilty monopolizing him. She was still in love with Joe anyway, it wasn't fair to Andy. But she also enjoyed him, more than she admitted. She hadn't been as sad lately. He was good for her.

“My other girlfriends are joining us for dinner. You'll love them, all fourteen of them.”

“Where are you taking me?”

“You'll see. It's a surprise. Wear something fancy. And try not to get drunk this time.”

“That was New Year's Eve, you turkey. Besides, I'm entitled.”

“No, you're not. Your time's running out. Besides, he loves his airplanes better than he loves you. Remember that.”

“I try to.” But lately, she didn't even mind that. She had been thinking about Joe a lot lately, and wondering if she had made the right decision. Maybe it didn't matter if he married her, or they had children. Maybe it was worth the sacrifice, just to be with him. But she didn't say it to Andy and she wasn't sure of that herself.

He waited while she got dressed, and there was a hansom cab waiting downstairs when they left her apartment. She was bowled over by it. It seemed incredibly romantic. And the horse clip-clopped along as they rode to the restaurant while passersby and cab drivers smiled at them. And she was cozy and warm under a heavy blanket, in the closed carriage.

The carriage turned on Fifty-second Street, and dropped them off at the ‘21’ Club, while Kate smiled at him.

“You spoil me.”

“You deserve it,” he said, as they walked into the restaurant. She was surprised to see heads turn as they entered. They made a very handsome couple. And a few minutes later, they were shown to a quiet corner table upstairs.

It was a wonderful evening and a delicious meal, and they were talking quietly when dessert came. He had ordered a tiny heart-shaped cake for her, and when she cut
into it with her fork, there was something hard in it. She pushed the cake away with her fork, and saw that it was a jeweler's box.

“What's that?” she asked, looking puzzled.

“Better open it and see. Maybe there's something good in it. It looks pretty good to me,” but she could suddenly feel her heart race. And when she looked up at him, he was smiling, and spoke softly. “It's okay, Kate, don't be afraid… it'll be all right, you'll see.”

“What if it isn't?” She knew what he was doing and she was frightened. Joe had hurt her very badly, and she had hurt Andy. She didn't want to do that again, or make a mistake they'd both regret.

“It will be. We'll make it all right. It's up to us to do that, it doesn't just happen.” It was everything she had wanted, just not with the person she wanted. But maybe it worked that way, you only got half your wish in life, not the whole one. She no longer believed in happy endings anymore. And Andy's version was happier than most.

She very carefully opened the box, and licked the cake off her fingers, and as she opened it, she saw a diamond ring sparkling at her. It was an engagement ring from Tiffany, and Andy slipped it on her finger. “Will you marry me, Kate? I'm not going to let you run away this time. I think this is the right thing for both of us… and by the way, I love you.”

“By the way?” she said. “What kind of proposal is that?”

“A real one. Let's do it. I know we'll be happy.”

“My mother always said you were the right one.”

“My mother said you were a bitch when you dumped
me,” he laughed and then kissed her. Kissing him was better than she'd remembered. And as she pondered it, she realized that she loved him. Not as she had Joe. She would never have that again. This was different. It was comfortable and easy and fun. They would make good traveling companions for a lifetime. Maybe you couldn't have it all in life. A great love. And passion. And dreams. Maybe in the end, one was better off with a small love and no dreams. Or at least that was what she told herself when she kissed him.

“Your mother was right, about me, I mean. I was horrible to you, and I'm so sorry,” she said after he kissed her.

“You should be. I'm going to make you spend the rest of your life paying for it. You owe me, big time.”

“I promise. I'll put scotch in your cornflakes forever. Every morning.”

“I'll need it, if you're cooking breakfast. Does that mean you'll marry me?” He looked hopeful and happy.

“I have to,” she said sensibly, “I like the ring. I guess that's the only way you'll let me keep it.” She was wearing it, and it looked beautiful on her. And as he smiled at her, he kissed her.

“I love you, Kate. I hate to say it, but I'm glad it didn't work out with Joe,” he said honestly, and she felt her heart ache. She wasn't glad, but she had to learn to live with it, and maybe Andy would help her. She hoped so.

“I love you too,” she whispered. And then she looked at him with a grin. “When are we getting married?”

“June,” he said decisively, and Kate laughed and
threw her arms around him. She was happy, and she knew she'd made the right decision. Or he had.

“Wait till I tell my mother!!” she said, and they laughed.

“Wait till I tell mine!” Andy said as he rolled his eyes.

14

K
ATE CALLED TO
tell her parents the day after Andy had proposed to her, and predictably, they were thrilled. Her mother was ecstatic and asked about plans for the wedding, and she was even happier when Kate told her they were getting married in June. This was the real thing. At last.

For the next four months, Kate and her mother were up to their ears in details for the wedding. Kate only wanted three bridesmaids, Beverly and Diana from Radcliffe, and an old friend from school. She selected lovely pale blue organza dresses, her mother came to New York to help her pick her wedding gown. It was elegant and simple, and Kate looked incredible in it. Her mother cried at the first fitting, and so did her father when he walked her down the aisle.

There had been four months of parties given mostly by friends of Andy's parents in New York, and another round of events in Boston in May. There were showers and luncheons and dinner parties. Kate had never had so much excitement in her life. And they had decided to go to Paris and Venice on their honeymoon. It was all
incredibly romantic, and she kept reminding herself of how lucky she was.

Some secret part of her hoped to hear from Joe after her engagement was announced, as though he would sense what she was about to do, and return to stop her and reclaim her. But she was more sensible than that, and didn't really expect him to call. She realized that it was probably just as well. It would have cut her to the quick to hear his voice again. She tried not to let herself think of him often, but he crept into her mind late at night, and in the morning as she lay in bed, thinking of him. It had been their favorite time of day. He was always there, on the fringes of her life, and her heart ached instantly when she thought of him. She continued to wonder if she had done the right thing, if she should have sacrificed marriage and children to be with him. She still loved him as she always had, that was the hard part, but she kept telling herself she was doing the right thing. And all he cared about were his planes. She never told Andy, or anyone, how often she still thought of Joe.

The wedding was perfect, and Kate looked exquisite. The long satin wedding gown made her look like Rita Hayworth, and behind her was a long elegant lace train. She wore a full veil, and when Andy looked into her eyes as she reached the altar, he saw something tender and sad that touched him to the core.

“It'll be all right, Kate … I love you…,” he whispered, as two little tears spilled from her eyes. She couldn't have told anyone, and she knew she was wrong to do it, but all morning, she had been longing for Joe.
She felt as though she were leaving him all over again. But she knew she'd have a good life with Andy, he was a kind man, and they loved each other. Not with passion, but with tenderness and understanding. Whatever she still felt for Joe Allbright, Kate knew she had made the right choice with Andy and would work hard to make it a marriage that worked for both of them.

The reception was at the Plaza, and they spent the night in a fabulous suite looking out over Central Park. It was lovely and romantic, and they were both exhausted after the wedding. They didn't even make love until the next morning. Andy didn't want to rush her, they had the rest of their lives. They had never made love to each other before the wedding, and he hadn't wanted to ask her if she was a virgin. He had never wanted to know the details of her long involvement with Joe and still did not. And she didn't offer any. It wasn't the sort of thing she felt she should talk about with her husband, and he wasn't sure if it was painful for her or not, but they enjoyed making love. She seemed innocent and shy and somewhat cautious, which he assumed was lack of experience on her part. In truth, it was more that it seemed odd to Kate to be in bed with him. They had always been friends. But with a little time and effort, she found that she was surprisingly comfortable with him. He was gentle and playful and tender, and desperately in love with her. And by the time they left for the airport that morning, they seemed less like young lovers than old friends. But it meant a lot to Kate to be at ease with him. What they shared had none of the pain or the passion or the fire of what she
and Joe had shared. It was easy and friendly and funny, she trusted Andy completely, and her heart was far less at risk with him than it had been with Joe.

Her mother had suspected that Kate wasn't madly in love with Andy when she'd agreed to marry him, and it didn't worry her at all. She had said something to Kate about it during one of the fittings and told her that passion of the kind she'd had for Joe was a dangerous thing. If you let it, it owned and controlled you. She would be better off, her mother assured her, married to her best friend, and Andy was.