Lone Eagle (35 page)

“It just seems strange. He hasn't been here for three years. Maybe he wanted to see you.”

“I doubt it.” Kate had her back to him, but she could almost feel him approaching, and sense her mother watching them. She could only hope that they didn't betray themselves, but she didn't trust either of them, particularly herself. Her mother knew her too well.

Joe finally reached where she was standing, politely said hello to her mother, who shook his hand reluctantly and gave him an icy stare.

“Hello, Joe,” she said in frigid tones, and he gave her a warm smile.

“Hello, Mrs. Jamison. It's nice to see you.” She didn't answer, and then he turned to Kate. Their eyes met, and Kate kept an iron rein on herself as she said hello to
him. “It's good to see you, Kate. I hear you had a baby. Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” she said coolly, and moved away to talk to someone else. She knew her mother would be relieved, and hopefully put off the scent. She whispered as much to Joe when she stood next to him later on the beach. They were roasting hot dogs and hers were already burned. All she was interested in was talking to him. “It was crazy for you to come up here. If they figure it out, they'll have a fit.”

“I missed you. I wanted to see you,” he said, sounding earnest and young.

“I'll be home in two days,” she whispered back, wanting to kiss him or put her arms around him, or feel his around her. But she didn't dare even look at him.

“Your hot dog is turning to ash,” he whispered again and she laughed, and their eyes met for an instant. And when she turned away, she saw her mother watching them.

“She hates me,” Joe commented, as he handed Kate a plate. It wasn't totally inconceivable that they would talk to each other, but it was obvious that her mother didn't approve. She looked like she wanted him dead, or at the very least as far away from Kate as he could get.

In the end, her parents left early because her mother had a headache, and she and Joe went for a walk on the beach, as they had years before. They had history between them, a lot of it. Ten years was a long time, and counted for a lot. For them, if no one else. As long as they had never married, her mother discounted whatever they had ever felt. As far as she was concerned, they were wasted years, and she had often said as much to
Kate. Kate didn't see it that way. They had been the best years of her life.

It was nice to just get away, and walk on the sand in the moonlight. They lay side by side far down the beach, and kissed, and held hands on the way back. They let go long before they reached the house, and once back, they were very circumspect. Kate left the party before he did, and her parents were already in bed, and Reed was sound asleep and didn't even want to be nursed. And Kate lay in bed, thinking about Joe. They had such a good time together, and such a good life. Everything they had each wanted had happened, her baby, his success, but there seemed to be no way to put it together, and if they tried to, someone would get hurt. It was like a Chinese puzzle, or a maze, but in this case, she knew, there was no way out.

She got up early with the baby, and her mother was in the kitchen, when Kate came downstairs trying not to make any noise, which was difficult with Reed. He was cooing and crowing and laughing and squealing, and she quietly closed the kitchen door and then saw that her mother was sitting quietly at the kitchen table, reading the local newspaper, and drinking a cup of tea.

She didn't raise her eyes as she spoke to Kate, but kept them on the paper, as Kate put the baby in his chair.

“You knew he was coming last night, didn't you?” her mother said in an accusing tone, and then finally looked up at her.

“No, I didn't,” Kate said truthfully. “I honestly had no idea.”

“There's something between you, Kate. I can feel it.
I've never seen two people more drawn to each other. You can sense it even when you're standing across the room.” It was why Kate never seemed to be able to let him go, nor he her. “It's almost like some kind of animal fascination with each other. You can't leave each other alone.”

“I hardly talked to him last night,” Kate said as she handed a tiny piece of banana to the baby, and he put it in his mouth.

“You don't need to talk to him, Kate. He feels you, just like you feel him. He's a dangerous man. Don't let him near you. He'll destroy your life.” But it was already far too late. “It was rude of him to come here. He did it because he knew you'd be here. I'm surprised he had the gall… although nothing surprises me anymore,” she said angrily. She still thought Joe was a threat, particularly with Andy gone. And she was right.

“Nor me,” her father said cheerfully as he walked into the kitchen and kissed the baby, and glanced at his wife. He could see that she and Kate had had words, although he had no idea about what, and didn't care to guess. He preferred to stay out of their fights. “It was nice to see Joe last night. I've been reading about his airline, it's going to be a colossal success, and already is. He says they're going to open offices in Europe. Who'd have thought all of this would happen five years ago?” he said, looking impressed, as his wife put her cup of tea in the sink.

“I think it was rude of him to come,” her mother reiterated for her husband's sake, and he looked surprised.

“Why?”

“He knew he'd see Kate. She's a married woman,
Clarke. He shouldn't be chasing her all the way to Cape Cod, or anywhere else.” Nor living with her, which he was, Kate thought. Her mother would have had her committed if she knew that. And maybe she should. “He knows that. He just did it to press himself on her.”

“Don't be silly, Liz. That's water under the bridge. That was years ago. Kate's married, and he probably has someone else. Is he married, Kate?”

“I don't think so, Dad. I don't really know.”

“I saw him talking to you on the beach,” her mother accused.

“There's no harm in that,” Clarke intervened. “He's a good man.”

“If he were, he'd have married your daughter, instead of making her wait for him for two years during the war and using her for two years after he got home,” his wife snapped. “Thank God Kate came to her senses and married someone else. It's a shame Andy wasn't here last night.”

“Yes, it is,” Kate said softly, but her mother saw something in her eyes she didn't like. There was something guarded and hidden, as though she had a deep secret, and everything in her told her it was Joe.

“You're a fool if you have anything to do with him, Kate. He'll just use you again, and you'll break Andy's heart. Joe's never going to marry anyone. Mark my words.” She had always said that, and so far she'd been right. But Kate also knew he wanted to marry her now, or so he said, although it was easier to say it now when she was married to someone else. After a while, she took the baby and went outside to sit in the sun on the porch. And as she looked up, she saw a plane doing
loops overhead. It was easy to guess who it was. He was such a kid, but it made her smile.

Her father came out to see it, and grinned up at the sky. “Pretty little plane,” he commented, still looking up.

“It's his newest design,” Kate said before she could stop herself, and her father lowered his gaze to look at her.

“How would you know, Kate?” There was none of the accusation of her mother, only concern.

“He told me last night.”

He sat down next to her after that, and patted her hand.

“I'm sorry it didn't work out, Kate. Some things just don't.” He knew how much she had loved him, and how much pain it had caused her when they broke up. “Your mother's right though. It would be very wrong if you started things up with him again now.” He was suddenly worried about her. She looked so sad.

“I won't, Dad.” She hated lying to him, but she had no choice. And she knew what she and Joe were doing was wrong. But it seemed impossible to her to let him go. There wasn't a man in the world who made her feel as he did, in bed or out. It was as though he completed her, just as she did him. They each had the missing pieces the other needed to be whole. She had no idea what they would do when Andy got home, but at least it was another two months away. She and Joe had time to figure out what they were going to do then.

He was still flying around overhead, doing loops and rolls, and he did a terrifying stall, which made her put her hand over her mouth. She was sure he was going to
crash. And her father watched her eyes. It was worse than he thought, and he was beginning to wonder if Liz was right, and something was going on after all. But he didn't want to ask Kate. She was an adult, and he didn't feel it was his place to pry.

She went back to New York the next day, and Joe called her the minute she got home. She scolded him for the stall that had terrified her, and he laughed. He knew he had been in no danger at all. He never was.

“It's more dangerous crossing the street in New York, Kate. You know that.” He was amused that she'd been concerned. “Did your parents give you a rough time?” He figured they would after seeing him at the barbecue, and he was right.

“Only my mom. She thinks something's going on.”

“Very observant,” he said admiringly. “Did you say anything to them?”

“Of course not. They'd be horrified. And I guess, when I think about it, so am I.” She had thought about it all the way home, and he didn't like the sound of her voice. She was consumed with guilt, Andy was so innocent in all this. He had no idea what was happening at home. Somehow, Joe felt he had seniority, and a right, because he had known her for so long. But it was Andy who had married her a year before, and given her a child. And it was Joe who owned her heart, and always had.

“Is it still all right if I come back tonight, Kate?” he asked her so humbly that it touched her heart. No matter how guilty she felt, there was no way she could bring herself to say no.

He came over half an hour later, and as always, they
fell into bed. Their longing for each other was like a tidal wave, it swept everything in its wake, and left them gasping for air. Not being together for a week had seemed far too long.

September flew by as soon as Labor Day was past. Joe had to go to California for a few days, and then he flew to Nevada for a test flight. He invited Kate to come along, but she didn't think she should. There was no way to explain it if Andy called. He had only called once or twice in the two months he'd been gone, it was almost impossible for him to call, but he wrote to her faithfully every day.

By the end of September, Kate and Joe had been living together for two months. It had begun to seem comfortable and normal, as though they were married. He was so relaxed that one night, when her mother called, he almost answered the phone. Kate grabbed it from his hand before he could say anything, and they both looked startled when they realized what he'd almost done.

She flew with him every weekend, went to the factory with him, he asked her opinions and she gave him advice. And the people in his office had begun to treat her as his wife. But remarkably, they hadn't run into anyone she knew in restaurants or movie theaters, or even walking down the street. Part of their good fortune had been that many of the people she knew went away for the summer. But even after Labor Day there had been no chance encounters with people who might suspect she and Joe were having an affair. They had found an easy rhythm that worked for them. And then, in mid-October, Kate looked devastated when Andy called
to tell her he was coming home. He told Kate how grateful he was, how well she had done, how uncomplaining she had been. Her letters had been wonderful, and he was dying to see her and Reed again. The photographs she'd sent were adorable, and Andy said the baby looked even more like Kate than before, except for the color of his hair. He told Kate that the trials he had participated in, in Germany, had gone extremely well. But he was anxious to wrap up his work in the next two weeks and come home.

Kate and Joe sat in the kitchen for hours, discussing it, the night he called.

“What are we going to do?” she asked miserably. Now that she had to face reality, she had never been so tormented in her life. Someone was going to get hurt, possibly all of them, even her son. There was no way out. There were choices to be made, and she and Joe had to come to some kind of agreement or decision in a matter of days.

“I want to marry you, Kate,” he said quietly. “I want you to get divorced. You can go to Reno and stay for six weeks. We could be married by the end of the year.” It was all she had ever wanted from him. But in order to do that now, she had to destroy Andy's life. It seemed a blow too cruel for anyone to take, and so unfair to him. He had done nothing to deserve this fate, and it wasn't his fault that she had fallen prey to Joe's charms again.

“I don't even know what to say to him,” she said, looking at Joe, and feeling sick over it. His parents were going to be distraught, and hers. But for Andy it would be the worst of all. And he had no suspicion whatsoever what was about to befall him.

“Tell him the truth,” Joe said practically. It was easy for him to be the winner in the piece. All he had to do was stand back and let Kate deliver the fatal blow. “What other choice do we have, Kate? Walk away from each other again? Is that what you want to do?” It was the only other choice they had, or else to continue a clandestine affair, and Kate knew the pressure and deceit of that would drive her insane, and Joe agreed. He wanted to live with her, be married to her, he even wanted to be with Reed, and if they were married, he would. “I feel sorry for him,” Joe said decently, “but he has a right to know.”

“Are you serious about getting married, Joe?” She still remembered her mother's words, and Kate knew him well. Joe loved his freedom and his planes. But he also loved her. And he was nearly forty years old. She believed he was finally ready to settle down and make a serious commitment to her this time, or so he said. She just wanted to be sure before she asked Andy for a divorce. Other than being devastated over losing her, she knew he would be heartbroken not to be living with his son.

“I'm serious,” Joe said emphatically. “It's time, Kate.” For her, it would have been time three or four years before. Or even five. He had taken his time getting there. And her parents would have been happier if they'd gotten married before or during the war. But whatever path they had taken to get there, he had arrived, and now he wanted her to do what she had to, to make it work for them. It was in her hands. He couldn't do more than assure her that he was serious, and wanted to marry her.