Long After Midnight (16 page)

“Not if you want to keep him safe. I didn’t mean to lay a guilt trip on you. I just wanted you to know that Joshua needs to feel adequate to fight what’s going on around him.”

“Not this way. I can’t—” She stopped as she realized she wasn’t thinking. It seemed she had been acting on impulse ever since this nightmare started, and she couldn’t afford to do that where Joshua was concerned. “Just a minute.” She was silent a moment, trying to clear her mind. “Just what are you teaching him?”

“Nothing violent. Woodlore, how to move silently, how to see and not be seen.”

“Then why are you calling it maneuvers?”

“It seemed logical. Joshua feels as if he’s in a war.”

“Does he?” she whispered, appalled.

“Look, it’s natural. There’s nothing anyone can do to make him feel any different. He’s too smart. For God’s sake, he
is
in a war. Telling him that you’ll take care of him doesn’t make him think he’s any safer. You’re the one he’s worried about.”

“But I’m supposed to take care of him. It’s my job.”

“And you’ve had to delegate it.” He stared intently into her eyes. “Let me do my job in my own way, Kate.”

“The devil I will.” She gave a weary sigh. “But maybe you’re right. Maybe playing these stupid war games will make him feel more secure.”

He smiled. “Good, then let’s go tell Joshua you’re not mad at him.” He reached out and took her hand. “If you’re good, we might even let you play with us.”

She hesitated and then placed her hand in Seth’s. He led her down the path in the direction Joshua had taken.

She felt as she had when she was a very little girl and Daddy had led her through Jenkins’s woods. Seth’s hand was hard, callused . . . and safe. Strange that she felt so safe with a man who plied death for a living. Was this why Joshua instinctively trusted him? She should pull away. She wasn’t a little girl any longer. She didn’t need anyone to guide her. Yet she didn’t want to make an issue of it.

He settled her inner conflict by dropping her hand. “Joshua’s just ahead.”

“How do you know?”

“I smell him. Prell shampoo. Dove soap. Dead giveaways.” He grinned. “One day without a shower isn’t enough.”

“It had better be. Because I’m telling Phyliss he’s not to do without another one.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Can you really find someone just by their scent?”

“Sure. Like Joshua said, I’ve got a good nose. But in the woods, manmade scents stick out like a burning bush. Before I go into the field, I even bury my gear in the ground for a day so it will take on an earth smell.”

She made a face. “Pleasant.”

“Better than dead,” he said cheerfully.

What must it be like to live as he did? she wondered. His life, filled with death and distrust, was as volatile as hers was stable. Or had been stable, she thought ruefully. Nothing about her life was stable any longer. “I guess so.”

“I know so.” He smiled at her. “There are advantages to living on the edge. You always appreciate the in-betweens. I bet I enjoy life a hell of a lot more than you or Noah.”

“Like hitting your thumb with a hammer because it feels so good when you stop?” she asked sweetly. “I believe that’s called masochism or maybe just plain nuts.”

“Ouch.” He broke into a trot and called, “Come out and help, Joshua. Your mom is attacking me.”

Joshua appeared from behind an oak tree. “She’s still mad?”

“No, I’m not mad,” Kate said. “I’m hungry. Did either of you bring any food, or were you supposed to live off the land?”

“Not this trip,” Seth replied. “My backpack is down by the lake. But Joshua has to earn lunch. Well? What did you smell?”

“Leaves. Rotting wood. Something minty. Shit.” He looked at Kate. “I’m not cursing, Mom. There really was some animal back there.”

“I believe I taught you other words for that.”

He grinned mischievously. “Seth says you have to be quick in the woods.” He looked at Seth. “Did I get them all?”

“No,” Seth said. “But you did pretty good for a beginner. Now, go down to the lake and bring back my pack so we can feed your mom. After lunch we’ll go find that pile and you’ll learn what kind of animal made it.”

“Right.” Joshua ran down the path at full speed.

“Sit down.” Seth gestured to the grass beneath the tree Joshua had sprung from. “You look tired.”

“I’m not tired. I only walked a quarter mile. I’m not that decrepit.”

“Okay. You’re not tired, you’re tense. It must come from using all those brain cells.” He sat down, stretched his legs out in front of him. “You should follow my example.” He leaned his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. “Never think when you can feel.”

“That’s why you’re such a success in life?”

“Yep.” He opened one eye. “Oh, were you insulting me?”

“Yes.” She dropped down beside him. “Not that it makes any difference to you.”

He yawned. “It makes a difference. But I forgive you.”

“Thank you.” She paused. “Was it safe to let Joshua go alone?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose you would have smelled someone, Tarzan?”

“Or heard them.”

“Even Ishmaru?” She shivered. “He thinks he’s some kind of Indian warrior.”

“Not enough. He’s a drugstore Indian. He invented himself. He smells of Mennen aftershave lotion, incense, and sesame seeds.”

“You could tell that in the brief time you were kneeling beside him?”

“I paid attention. When you run across someone as weird as Ishmaru, you make a point of remembering everything about him. It could save your neck.”

“I see your point.” She tilted her head. “What about me? What do I smell like?”

“The first time I saw you, you smelled of a botanical shampoo. Cassia, I think. You must have run out or not brought it with you, because you washed your hair this morning with Prell. No perfume, but you’re wearing Opium body powder.” He smiled. “Nice. Clean and nice.”

“Thank you,” she said faintly. “I suppose you know what kind of toothpaste I used too.”

“Colgate. Scope mouthwash.”

She laughed. “I think I’d hate to have that keen a sense of smell. Not all odors are pleasant.”

His smile faded. “No, some aren’t pleasant at all.” He closed his eyes again. “So we deal with them and then try not to remember.”

He was talking about something specific, she guessed. Seth Drakin must have confronted a good deal of unpleasantness in his life.

“Does Joshua have a dog?” Seth asked.

She was startled at the sudden change of subject. “No.”

“Want one? I tried to give him to Noah, but he may be too busy to take care of a pet.”

“Your dog?”

“Sort of. I picked him up in Colombia. He’s in quarantine right now.”

And remembering that unpleasantness had reminded Seth of the dog. She felt a stirring of curiosity but resisted the impulse to question him. It wasn’t her business, and in spite of his candid demeanor, she had an idea that Seth was not nearly as open and uncomplicated as he seemed. “I think we’d better talk about that later.”

“Okay. I didn’t think you’d commit. You’re too cautious.”

“‘Caution’ isn’t a dirty word, you know.”

“No, it’s a nice sturdy word. Like ‘responsibility’ and ‘sincerity’ and ‘duty.’ ” He yawned. “The bug that bit Noah in the ass. He used to be much more entertaining.”

“If you expect me to argue with you, you’re going to be disappointed. I took the day off to relax, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Then lean back instead of sitting up stiff as a poker.”

She hesitated and then leaned back. The bark of the tree felt rough through her sweatshirt. She was about as relaxed as a tightly drawn wire. She shot Seth a glance from the corner of her eye. The sunlight filtering through the trees lit the sun streaks in his dark brown hair. His eyes were closed, his long, muscular body appeared totally relaxed. All he needed was a fishing pole to look like one of the kids in a Norman Rockwell painting, she thought in exasperation.

But he wasn’t a kid. He was very male and she was reacting to that masculinity, she realized in astonishment. The sexual response was sharp, intense, almost animalistic. Where had that come from? It must have something to do with being in the forest surrounded by nature.

“Joshua tells me you’re quite a pitcher,” Seth murmured.

“Yes.”

“Did you play when you were a kid?”

“They didn’t let girls in Little League, but my dad played with me. Did you play ball?”

“A little. Sandlot in Newark, New Jersey. I was a catcher. I always thought that catchers were the gladiators of the game. The idea appealed to me.”

“War games even then?”

“You’re talking about the great American pastime.”

She was beginning to relax, she realized. The sun was warm on her face, and she could smell the grass and earth and the musky odor of Seth a few feet away. Not unpleasant. It seemed to go with the other earth fragrances around her.

“That’s right, take it easy,” Seth murmured. “You like the woods, don’t you?”

“Can you smell that too? There was a forest in back of the house where I grew up. My father and I used to go for long walks every Saturday. They weren’t like these, though. No hills.”

“Did you grow up in Oklahoma?”

She nodded. “About fifty miles south of Dandridge. My father was a G.P.”

“What about your mother?”

“She died when I was four. Then it was just me and my dad.”

“You got along well?”

“Oh yes, you might say that.” She added simply, “He was my best friend.”

“You miss him.”

“Every day.”

He didn’t comment further. Thank God, he wasn’t one of those people who thought they were required to offer sympathy. “He was a very fine doctor and an exceptional man. I was lucky to have him for my father.”

“Another white hat. Like Noah.”

Surprise rippled through her. “Yes.” She hadn’t realized it until this moment, but Noah did remind her of her father. He had the same dedication and strong sense of responsibility.

Do it for Joshua’s sake. Don’t try to nail me back to my branch. I’ve no taste for crucifixion.

She flinched away from the memory, suppressing it as she always did. She had become expert at blocking that thought. It was a matter of survival.

“Noah mentioned that he died of cancer?”

“Yes. Three years ago.”

Joshua was coming down the path, lugging the backpack. He waved at her.

She waved back, watching him contentedly. That hurtful memory of Daddy was fading, and the weird intense sexual flare Seth had lit in her had died down as if it had never occurred. Thank God, Seth hadn’t noticed. She imagined there wasn’t much that he missed. She wouldn’t worry about it. She felt safe. The sun was bright. It was hard to believe anything bad could happen today.

“One minute at a time,” Seth murmured.

She turned to see that his eyes were open and he was looking at her.

“It’s something you and Noah should learn. You let life weigh you down.” He smiled, an oddly beautiful smile. “Nothing’s all bad, if you take it one minute at a time. Enjoy the moment, Kate.”

EIGHT

T
ony called Noah a week later. “There was a minor demonstration at the Supreme Court yesterday.”

“Against what?”

“Genetic experimentation and testing.”

“Shit. How minor?”

“About five hundred people. But it may be the tip of the iceberg.”

“I want to know if there are any more.”

“You think Ogden is stirring them up?”

“Hell yes, it’s too coincidental.”

“I’ll be on top of it. How’s it going there?”

“Well enough.”

“That’s a cautious answer.”

“Caution is the name of the game. Just see that you follow the rules.”

“It’s almost midnight. Go to bed.”

Kate glanced up from the slide she’d been studying under the microscope to see Noah standing beside her. “In a moment.” She looked down at the slide again. “I want to make sure that—”

“Now.” He pulled the slide from the microscope. “You’re so tired I wouldn’t trust your judgment anyway.”

“I’m fine.” She tried to take the slide away from him. “And you have no right to interfere.”

He evaded her. “Who has a better right? I’m the man who cracked the whip and chained you to the galley oars.”

She made another snatch for the slide. “That culture will deteriorate. Give it back to me.”

“Take another tomorrow.” He pulled her to her feet. “You’ve done enough today. You don’t have to work twenty-four hours a day.”

“I haven’t. I spent three hours at the ranger station with Joshua this afternoon.”

He pulled her toward the door. “How is he?”

“How do you think he is? He’s on Treasure Island skipping along with Peter Pan.”

“I think you have your stories mixed.” He closed the laboratory door firmly behind them. “And I’ve never heard Seth compared to Peter Pan before. As I remember, when you first met him, you thought he was Jack the Ripper. This new persona would amuse the hell out of him.”

He was right. That first image had faded the longer she spent in Seth Drakin’s company. It was a little unsettling. The man seemed capable of projecting any personality he chose, and yet he seemed totally genuine. “You know what I mean.” She longingly glanced back at the laboratory door as he led her toward the kitchen. “All I need is one more hour.”

“I don’t trust you. I’d find you in there at dawn.”

He was probably right, she thought. The excitement was growing every day, every minute. “You brought me here to work.”

“But not to slave until you collapse from exhaustion. What good would you do me then?”

“You can’t have it all ways.” She looked accusingly at him. “Though you certainly try hard enough.”

“Don’t we all?” He poured her a cup of coffee. “Drink it and go to bed.”

She raised her brows. “Coffee?”

“Decaffeinated.”

She should have known. Noah would take care never to waver from his purpose. This wasn’t the first time he had almost physically ejected her from the lab. He had hovered over her like a mother hen for the last two weeks, cooking her meals and then watching her to be sure she ate them, making sure she slept and got out for a walk or run every day. Even if it was only over to the ranger station to see Joshua. “You’re making me uneasy. I feel like a virgin being fattened up before she’s sacrificed at the altar.”

“This must be your night for inaccuracies.” He grinned at her. “I think it was animals that were fattened, not humans. And unless Joshua was adopted, you’re definitely not a virgin.” His smile faded. “I’m doing my damnedest to make sure you’re not sacrificed on my altar or anybody else’s.”

He suddenly looked so tired and discouraged that she felt a surge of compassion. She glanced away from him and deliberately reined in any hint of softness. “Well, the virgins probably got fat anyway. I’ve heard they were pampered big time.” She took a sip of coffee and put it down on the counter. “No more coffee. If it doesn’t have a kick, there’s no use drinking it.”

“I’ll try hot chocolate tomorrow night. Go to bed.”

She shook her head. “Not yet.” She headed for the deck. “I need some air.”

He followed her out the door and closed it behind him. “Do you need your jacket?”

Mother hen again, she thought ruefully. He hadn’t paid attention to a word she’d said. “No, I won’t be out here long. You really can go on to bed.”

“I’ll wait for you.”

She moved toward the deck railing and stared out into the darkness, listening to the night sounds. He remained at the door but she was aware of his gaze on her. “I’m not going to run away.”

“I know. You’re too excited. I’d have to blast you out of here now.”

“I hit ninety-two percent today.”

“It has to be ninety-eight.”

“Then you should let me go back to the lab tonight.”

“No deal.”

She had known he wouldn’t budge, but it hadn’t hurt to try. “I’ll reach ninety-eight by next week.”

“Good.”

“Good? It’s stupendous. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“And what you wanted.”

She nodded. She breathed deep of the night air. “I like it here. I’ve never been to West Virginia before. All these lovely trees. I’ve always thought of it as being riddled with coal mines.”

“You should see my home state if you like trees. My parents had a summer place north of the city, and some of the forests there are so dense that it’s like going into a tunnel.”

“Are your parents still living?”

“No, my mother died when I was a teenager, and my father suffered a heart attack twelve years ago.” He grimaced. “And I’m afraid I was never on the best of terms with either one of them. My father was always too busy with the plant to pay much attention to my mother or me. She divorced him when I was a boy. He fought and retained custody of me.”

“Then he must have cared for you.”

“Maybe. I don’t know. As his son I was heir to his company.” He shook his head. “Christ, how he loved that company. He poured everything he was into building J. and S. I guess there wasn’t anything left for anyone else.”

“But you loved it too.”

“He hooked me early and I never got over it. But I tried damn hard. I never wanted to run a company. I went to Johns Hopkins for my degree, but he cut off funds and pulled me out before I finished.” He smiled crookedly. “He told me that a little medical knowledge was a plus for running a pharmaceutical company but I didn’t need a degree.”

“What did you do?”

“Exploded. Told him to go to hell and did the one thing I knew he’d hate most. I joined the army.”

“That’s where you met Seth?”

“Seth, Tony Lynski, and I were in the Special Forces together. We were in a unit tapped by the CIA for covert missions.” He shrugged. “It didn’t take long for me to see that I wasn’t cut out for the work. When my time was up, I went home. I made a deal with my father, finished my schooling, and went to work at the plant. After he died, I was all set to hire a management team to take over J. and S. and set up an independent laboratory off the premises.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It was mine. The plant, the people . . .”

“They say, given time, we all become our parents.”

“You think I became my father? No way. I made sure I didn’t keep my nose pressed to the grindstone. Life is to be lived. But I tried to strike a balance. The employees at J. and S. were my people. I had to take care of them.” His lips thinned with pain. “I didn’t do a very good job, did I?”

“You couldn’t know that Ogden would—”

“I’m not asking you to make excuses for me. I know what I did.” He opened the door. “It’s time you went to bed.”

He was upset, so
she
should go to bed? She was tempted to argue with him but instead found herself acquiescing. He was hurting. It would do no harm to let independence lapse for the moment. She stopped beside him and asked curiously, “What do you do when you’re not forcing food and coffee on me?”

“Make phone calls. Talk to Seth and fill him in on everything.” He paused. “Get ready.”

“Get ready for what?”

“Apocalypse. Designed and orchestrated by Mr. Raymond Ogden.”

She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ll discuss it when RU2 is ready.”

“Why not now? Do you think I’m too ‘skittish’ to keep my mind on two things at once?”

He flinched. “God, I wish I’d never used that word.”

“It should be banished from the English language. Do you?”

“I think you’re totally brilliant and as solid as that rock at Gibraltar. I just don’t think you need to have everything on your plate while I have nothing to do.” He smiled. “I can’t just twiddle my thumbs. I’ll go nuts. Give me a break, Kate.”

“I don’t see why—” Oh, what difference did it make? she thought impatiently. She didn’t really want to think ahead of the work going on in the laboratory right now. The path was too exhilarating, victory too close. “I’m not going to sit around and let you plan everything, you know.”

“It never entered my mind.”

“Yeah, sure.” She gave him a skeptical glance as she went past him into the house.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Noah called.

“Real coffee.”

“No problem. It’s permitted at seven in the morning.”

“Six.”

“The lab door will stay closed until seven-fifteen, so you might as well get the extra hour’s sleep. I’ll have eggs, bacon, and toast and ‘real’ coffee on the table at seven.” He smiled at her. “And I’ll give you a thermos of coffee to take to the lab so you won’t have to surface until noon.”

“You’re too kind.”

“I’m trying to be kind, Kate.”

The unfamiliar note in his voice made her look at him. She tensed as she met his gaze. Something was suddenly different. A moment before, she had been annoyed and impatient, but now she felt . . . aware.

Oh shit.

What the hell was wrong with her? It was as if all the fear and tumult she had experienced since Michael’s murder had ripped away the repression of the past years and left her open and vulnerable. She hadn’t felt anything for anyone since she and Michael were divorced, and now she was suddenly drawn to two men. A few days ago she had been sexually aroused just watching Seth Drakin, and now she was feeling something toward Noah. But this awareness wasn’t the same as the other. This was milder, not at all animalistic. More like a warm breeze than a storm of feeling. Maybe it wasn’t sexual. It felt more like deep admiration and the need to be close to someone.

But she still wanted him to touch her, hold her.

And he wanted to touch her too. She could see it in the slight tension of his body.

She felt his eyes on her as she moved hurriedly across the living room and down the short hall to her bedroom.

Tomorrow everything would be back to normal. Noah didn’t want complications any more than she did. They would ignore that brief moment and concentrate on what was important.

She opened the door of her bedroom.

The hurricane lamp was burning on the windowsill.

She had been so immersed in the lab that she had forgotten to light it for Joshua this evening, she realized guiltily.

But Noah had not forgotten.

I’m trying to be kind, Kate.

Protectiveness, kindness, and warmth. She felt like a needy child reaching out in the darkness. She didn’t want to be needy. She didn’t want to rely on anyone but herself.

Oh shit.

“Seven on the dot,” Noah said when she walked into the kitchen the next morning. He removed the sizzling bacon from the pan and divided it between the two plates on the counter. “You get the coffee. I’m busy.”

It was as if that moment last night hadn’t happened, Kate thought. Well, what had she expected? Noah to pull her down on the kitchen floor and make wild love to her? Naturally, she was relieved.

And unreasonably deflated. So much for her sex appeal.

“Hurry, I promised to get you in that lab by seven-fifteen,” Noah said as he dished up the scrambled eggs.

“Give me a chance.” She took down the cups and saucers from the cabinet. “I’m sorry to disrupt your schedule.”

“It’s your schedule.” He carried the plates to the breakfast bar, where he had already set place mats and orange juice. “You’re the one who didn’t want to leave the lab last night. I’m just trying to accommodate you.”

“That will be the day.” They had fallen back into the comfortable wrangling of the last weeks, she realized. She poured coffee into the cups and carried them to the breakfast bar. “No toast? What good are you?”

“Damn good.” He grinned and moved toward the oven. “Biscuits. I made them from scratch.”

“You do know when I turn my work over to you that there’s no way you’re going to get this kind of service from me?”

“I’ll find a way for you to compensate.”

She stiffened. “Really?”

“Dammit.” He stopped in mid motion. “That blew it, didn’t it? Now we’d better talk about it.” He put the biscuits down on the cabinet and turned to face her. “I can’t have you on edge every minute.”

“I’m not on edge.”

“The hell you’re not.” He grimaced. “Okay, I’m human. I want to jump into the sack with you. I’ve wanted it for quite a while, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give you any grief about it. I’ve loaded you down with enough problems.”

“Quite a while?” she asked, startled.

“You think it struck like lightning? Maybe for you but I’ve not been as preoccupied.” He said lightly, “You’re quite a dish, my dear Dr. Denby.”

A flush heated her cheeks. Stupid of her to get this disconcerted. Particularly since he obviously thought that moment last night had been purely sexual. Maybe it had been for him. The need for nurturing was seldom a first priority with men, and he wouldn’t thank her if she told him that her feeling had been more a craving for comfort and emotional closeness than sex. “It’s probably propinquity.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “And it may happen again. We’re both healthy specimens with the usual urges. I just want you to know that it won’t affect anything.”

“Thank you. I didn’t think it would.” She sat down and began to eat her breakfast, trying to ignore a disappointment that was as totally irrational as Noah’s dissection of the matter was rational. He had merely voiced her own thoughts. They were colleagues and were there to work. They had no time to establish a relationship, either sexual or emotional. “But I’m glad we cleared the air.”