Longing (18 page)

“Coach!” His voice was the loudest whisper possible. “Look at this place. The waiters are wearing tuxedos!”

“Yes.” He held his finger to his lips. “Let’s get seated. Then we can talk about it.”

DeMetri’s eyes were almost completely round, his shock as obvious as the view through the glass walls that made up the dining
area. “Look at that. There’s like a million famous people on the wall. I mean, their pictures are on the wall. You see that, right, Coach?”

A quick look and Smitty quieted down. “The table. Wait till the table.”

After they were seated the bursts of amazement continued to come from his favorite player. Their gift card allowed them whatever they wanted, so Cody ordered steak and lobster, and DeMetri chose a shrimp cocktail, filet mignon, and a flaming cherry soufflé for dessert.

“Tell me to stop eating the bread,” he said halfway through his meal. “I’m getting too full. But, Coach, this is the best bread I’ve ever eaten. Seriously.”

“Stop eating the bread, Smitty.”

“I can’t, Coach.”

“Fine. Then be full.”

DeMetri burst into a big grin. “I can handle that.”

Cody kept checking his phone, making sure they would leave the restaurant in plenty of time to reach the theater on the early side. He wanted to soak in the atmosphere, enjoy the fact that he was actually in Bailey’s territory, in the place where she’d spent most of her time for most of the past year.

Finally, after DeMetri polished off his dessert and still had room for another soda, Cody decided to share the truth about Bailey. As much as Smitty needed to know, anyway. “Okay, so this play we’re going to see …”

“It’s called
Hairspray.
You’ve seen it, right Coach? You said you’d seen it.”

“I’ve seen the movie. But not the Broadway show.” Cody had seen DeMetri fired up before, but never like this. “Anyway, about the show … so there’s this girl in the cast. Her name’s Bailey Flanigan.”

DeMetri raised one eyebrow. “You know a girl in the cast?”

“She’s from Bloomington. Where I grew up.”

With a muffled gasp, Smitty pushed back from the table and rose to his feet. He only sat back down when Cody urged him to do so. “Your old girlfriend is in the cast of
Hairspray?”

Cody wasn’t sure how to answer that one. He shifted in his seat, angling himself toward DeMetri to buy a few seconds. “Well … I mean, I guess. I used to live with her family.”

“Coach!” Shock mixed with a teasing sort of indignation. “You lived with her?”

“Not like that.” Cody shook his head. “Very funny.”

“Just kidding.” Smitty crossed his arms, pleased with the situation. “So you lived with her family, and you fell in love with her. But then she left Indiana for New York City, and you found Cheyenne … and now you’re here to see her on Broadway for the first time? Is that what’s happening here?”

If only the kid knew how close he was to the truth. “You’re missing a few details.”

“But for the most part?”

“Well, yes. I guess so.”

“So why didn’t we plan to see
Hairspray
from the beginning? I mean, Coach, we just got lucky that’s all. Otherwise you would’ve missed her.”

He would’ve missed her. Cody let the thought work its way through him.
Like I’ve missed her so many times,
Cody told himself. “Yes … it must’ve been meant to be.”

“Ooooh.” DeMetri’s eyebrows lowered and he looked suddenly worried. “What’ll Cheyenne think? You seeing your old girlfriend tonight?”

Again there were things Smitty simply didn’t know. “Chey’s sick.”

“I thought she was over it. Whatever it was.”

“No.” The truth about the gravity of Cheyenne’s illness would
come out eventually. For now it was enough that Cody didn’t betray her confidence. “She’s still pretty sick, Smitty.”

“So … she’s okay that you’re here. That you might see this Bailey girl tonight.”

Cody nodded slowly, picturing his last conversation with Cheyenne. “She told me to come.”

“Wow.” He gave an impressed shake of his head. “Not sure I could tell my girlfriend to go hang with her old boyfriend. That’s pretty big of her, Coach.”

“Chey has a pretty big heart.” He checked the time again. “Finish your soda. It’s time to go.”

DeMetri slurped down the rest of his drink, catching himself and quieting the process before he reached the bottom of the glass. “Ready!”

Whether he saw Bailey after the show or not, the next few hours would be some of the best Cody had experienced in months. They didn’t need the limo to reach the show on time. The walk was only four blocks from the restaurant, and it gave them the chance to take in the enormous lit advertisements and craziness that could only be found in Times Square. “Would you look at that M&M guy up there?” Smitty stopped and shaded his eyes, squinting at the display above the three-story shop that featured exclusively M&M candy items. “It’s the size of King Kong.” He looked at Cody. “Don’t you think, Coach. I mean seriously. Who puts an M&M man that tall on the top of their store?”

The running montage of exclamations continued the entire way to the theater, and only after they’d been let in and found their place in the third row, center, did DeMetri finally fall quiet.

“What … you don’t have an opinion for once?” Cody whispered as they settled into the red velvet seats.

“Shhh.” DeMetri put his finger to his lip. “You can’t talk in the theater. Didn’t your mama teach you anything?”

Coming from anyone else the idea of a mama comment
might seem heartless. But both their mothers were serving time. Smitty’s statement only made Cody smile. “You can whisper. It’s okay. The show won’t start for fifteen minutes.”

Once he had permission, DeMetri began to comment on everything from the quality of the seats to the way
SI
had picked the best place in the whole theater for them to see the show. “Coach, I say try to win it all again next year. This is too nice for one time only. Those
SI
guys know how to do a night on the town right, you know what I mean?”

Finally, when DeMetri must’ve been nearly out of words, he settled in on the program and for the first time that night Cody had a few minutes to think. At the same time he texted Tara. He couldn’t enjoy the next few hours without at least an update on Cheyenne.

We’re at the theater … DeMetri’s having the time of his life … How is she?

Her response came back almost instantly:
The same … sleeping. Don’t worry about her, Cody. She wants you to enjoy your night with DeMetri.

A flash of guilt came over him, like maybe he should mention that the next few hours wouldn’t be just about him and his player. They’d be about Bailey too. But he let it pass. He would explain the situation later. After all, he didn’t pick the show. The guys at
SI
did. He tapped out a quick response.
Will do. Thanks, Tara.

“Hey, Coach.” Smitty’s tone was awestruck again. He held up the program. “Is this her? Your Bailey girl?” He pointed to a black and white photograph, one Cody hadn’t seen before. In it Bailey looked absolutely stunning. Her face and cheekbones, the way her hair fell. And her eyes … most of all her eyes. He steadied himself, not willing to let his feelings show in front of DeMetri. “Yes … that’s her.”

“Coach! She was in
Unlocked!
Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Sorry. She was in
Unlocked.”

“That means … he did a quick calculation in his head. “She’s the girl dating Brandon Paul.”

“You know your pop culture trivia, Smitty. Gotta hand it to you.”

“Coach, she’s famous and she’s hot.” He dropped the program on his lap and held up both hands in a sign of mock surrender. “I mean, don’t take that wrong, Coach. Just saying.”

“Yeah.” He laughed quietly. “She’s pretty.”

He shrugged big. “Just saying.”

Before Cody could respond, the lights went down and the audience erupted in applause. The house wasn’t quite full, but the people in attendance were enthusiastic, for sure. Only then, as the curtain came up, did Cody notice something he’d missed before. Seated in the front row in what looked like a group of three people was — yes, it was him. It was Brandon Paul.

Cody felt the blood leave his face. After all this time he was finally at one of Bailey’s shows and now … now the few minutes he might have with Bailey after the show would be awkward at best, with Brandon here too. Cody glanced at DeMetri. The kid’s eyes were glued to the stage, oblivious to the fact that Brandon Paul was in their midst. Just as well. He probably wouldn’t be able to focus on the show.

As the first scene got underway, Cody remembered the show a little better. If Bailey was in the ensemble, then her first appearance would happen at the end of this number. And sure enough that’s exactly what happened. Despite the high energy of the number, Bailey came onto the stage moving in what felt like slow motion. He felt his lips open, felt the surprise work through his body, heart, and soul.

“She’s really good.” DeMetri leaned close and whispered. “And definitely hot.”

“Shhh.” They couldn’t talk now, during the show. Not seated this close to the stage. “Later.”

DeMetri flashed the okay sign and turned his attention back to the stage. Cody did the same and by the end of the scene the mix of emotions coursing through him was almost more than he could handle. First, she was a brilliant dancer. And that only made his next emotion more upsetting. Why had he waited until now to see her perform? He could’ve certainly found a way here before tonight. But instead she’d followed her passion and he hadn’t seemed even remotely interested.

He was so angry with himself he had a hard time staying seated. Like seeing her now was enough to cause him physical pain — especially in light of all he’d missed, all the ways he hadn’t been invested in her passion. No wonder she’d fallen for Brandon Paul. He was working in New York. So did that mean he came to every show? Cody had a feeling he knew the answer, and it only made him feel worse.

No matter how much he hurt, he had no right messing with what Bailey had found with Brandon, the way he clearly adored her. But partway through her next number, Bailey seemed to spot him. A minute later, she glanced his direction again and this time he was certain she’d seen him. Because she nearly tripped. For a brief instant, Cody considered leaving so he wouldn’t cause her any more confusion. But he couldn’t pull himself away, couldn’t do anything but watch the entire show and then walk with DeMetri and the rest of the crowd to the stage door.

No matter how awkward the coming moments might be.

Cody couldn’t tell her how she made him feel or that he still loved her or that watching her tonight made him fall in love with her all over again. None of those things would be right or fair. But Brandon Paul or not, Cody couldn’t leave New York City without telling her at least this much:

She was absolutely perfect in
Hairspray.

B
AILEY COULD ONLY THANK
G
OD THAT SHE HADN’T FALLEN FLAT
on her face when she spotted Cody in the audience. Not only was Brandon there in the front row, but Cody had never come to see her before. Why in the world would he be here now? She tried to ignore his presence, but clearly he was there with one of his players. The kid from the article — DeMetri, right? That was his name, Bailey was almost sure.

Again, why would the two of them be here in New York City?

She focused by finding Brandon in the audience instead. And each time, Brandon’s belief in her, his love for her kept her from looking at Cody and carried her through the scene. But that didn’t stop the fact that she was barely going through the motions, or the way her heart wouldn’t drop the subject: Cody Coleman had finally come to see her perform on Broadway.

When the show finally wrapped up, despite Cody’s presence she checked her emotions and realized something that made her relax a little. She was still most excited to see Brandon. The loyal way he had of being here every night, the way he’d opened his heart so completely to her. But she had to find a way to see Cody too. If he waited near the stage door anyway. And knowing Cody there was no guarantee he’d do that.

She wanted to tell Brandon that Cody was there, but in the rush backstage, there wasn’t a perfect moment to have that conversation. She changed clothes quickly and together they headed out. They’d been doing this more often lately, and there was no
denying one very real truth: Brandon’s presence at the show each night, his willingness to sign autographs and take pictures with fans after the show had helped attendance.

“You were amazing.” He hugged her and kissed the side of her head. “Let’s get through this. I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

She opened her mouth to tell him about Cody, but as she did one of the girls from the cast came up and hugged her, and then Gerald and Stefano did the same thing. “Loved the audience tonight.” Gerald’s eyes looked happier than usual. “They loved us.”

Stefano rolled his eyes. “I liked how the hairspray can wasn’t on the prop table — always great to pantomime the biggest song in the show.”

Again before Bailey could find even a single instant to say what she needed to say to Brandon, the two of them were shuttled out the stage door and immersed in the crowd. Bailey spotted Cody the moment the New York night air washed over her. He waited for her off to the right, a little before the actual start of the line to meet the show’s cast.

Because of her role in
Unlocked,
and because she was dating Brandon Paul, she was always a favorite with the crowd. But Brandon was easily more popular than her. And now she touched his elbow and whispered near his ear. “I’ll be right back. I have to talk to someone.”

He nodded, and a bewildered look came from him for a moment or two. Then he squeezed her hand as they headed in opposite directions. Bailey held up her hand, letting the crowd know she would join Brandon in a minute. Then she slid past a row of people and worked her way toward Cody and the football player. She looked over her shoulder once and — in the fraction of an instant — she watched Brandon make eye contact with Cody. Brandon knew what he looked like, of course. Cody’s face had graced the cover of
Sports Illustrated
just a few weeks ago.

Brandon shifted his look to her, and his expression told her
all she needed to know. He was troubled and confused about why Cody was here. But he trusted her. He didn’t need to say a word for her to know that much. She made a beeline toward Cody and finally she slid free from the crowd.

Despite the chaos and flashing cameras, regardless of the commotion that surrounded the stage door, in that moment it might as well have been just the two of them, her and Cody standing face-to-face. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Cody didn’t look away, didn’t seem to want to.

But beside him the football player coughed a few times and jabbed Cody with his elbow. “Coach … remember? You were going to introduce me?”

“Right.” Cody tore his eyes from her and glanced at the kid beside him. “Bailey, this is DeMetri Smith. Smitty, this is Bailey Flanigan.”

“Coach tells me you’re his old girlfriend, but I find that hard to believe.” The boy puffed his chest out. “Coach is a pretty smart guy, you know? If he ever had a chance with a girl like you I can’t believe he’d find a way to blow it.”

Bailey laughed out loud. “Yeah … my thoughts exactly.”

“Great.” Cody dug his hands in his jeans pockets and looked at her again. “Never thought my players would be critiquing my love life.”

“Well, yeah!” Smitty gave him a disappointed look. “Seriously Coach. You don’t leave a girl like this.”

Again Bailey laughed, but Cody managed to give DeMetri a look that finally stopped him. “You know,” DeMetri pointed at Cody. “I’m gonna go get Brandon Paul’s autograph.” He nodded at Bailey. “Pleasure meeting you, Bailey.” His eyes flirted with her, then he shot another look at Cody. “I mean, really, Coach? Come on!”

“Go.” Cody grinned at the kid, and after he’d walked away he
looked at Bailey one more time. Again the moment felt like it was created for them alone. “So … you were amazing tonight.”

“Thank you.” She felt herself blush beneath his gaze, and she hated herself for it. “You should’ve come sooner.”

“Yeah.” He flashed her a sad sort of grin. “I guess I blew that too.”

“Pretty much.” She smiled, but only to hide the pain his words caused her. They couldn’t spend another minute talking about what might have been. It was the story of Cody’s life. One regret after another. “So … why are you here?”

“The state title.” He explained about the luncheon with
SI
and the interview with ESPN. “DeMetri handled himself like a pro.”

“Yeah, the kid doesn’t hold anything back.”

“No.” Cody looked after his player and chuckled. “He’ll make a great preacher someday.”

“For sure.” Bailey hugged herself, suddenly very aware that she and Cody hadn’t come together in a greeting of any kind. With the paparazzi lurking at every backstage moment, that was probably just as well. A goodbye hug would be better than starting off that way. Already she could feel someone taking her picture. Which meant they were taking Cody’s picture too. When she couldn’t take looking into his eyes another moment, she looked down at the dirty pavement. Everything about her relationship with Cody was so wrong. Missed chances and lost opportunities. Fear and mistrust and doubt — negative emotions ruled the day when it came to him. The way they always had.

“Brandon’s here.” It wasn’t a question.

She lifted her eyes to his. “Every night.”

He nodded slowly. “I can see why. Watching you … it would never get old, Bailey.”

She breathed in deep, not sure what to say next. “Cheyenne … how are things with her?” Bailey hoped he might say they were over — for the girl’s sake more than anything else. Cody wasn’t in
love with her. She could easily see that much a month ago when they talked after the game.

“Not great.” He shoved his hands into his pockets a little deeper and raised his shoulders a few inches. A different kind of pain fell over his eyes. “She’s … she’s been sick.”

It wasn’t the answer Bailey expected. “Very sick?”

“Yeah. Pretty sick.”

Bailey didn’t want to ask too many questions. “Related to her accident?”

“I think so.” If there were more details to share, Cody wasn’t telling.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. She’ll get through it.”

The moment was coming to an end, and there was nothing Bailey could do to prolong it. She wondered what had happened between Cody and Cheyenne to keep them together, but it wasn’t her business. The moment passed and all they had between them was a silence as unfamiliar as it was uncomfortable. Bailey looked over her shoulder back at Brandon, and then to Cody once more. “Thanks … for waiting. You know, to say hi.”

“You were the best dancer on the stage.”

“Thanks.”

More silence, and finally he smiled, but without the depth she was familiar with. “So, yeah … good seeing you.”

“You, too.” She didn’t hug him, didn’t do anything but hold her ground.

He took a step back and set his jaw, his teary eyes on some distant piece of sky. Then he glanced at her one last quick time. “Bye, Bailey.”

“Bye, Cody.” She didn’t wait, didn’t watch to see if he would be okay. Didn’t consider going back to him again to hug him or comfort him. Brandon was waiting. She made her way through the crowd, head down, so people wouldn’t notice her until she was
at Brandon’s side again. He was still busy, still signing autographs and taking pictures, a crowd of people gathered around him. As she came closer to him, Bailey was grateful. His distraction meant he wouldn’t notice the one thing she didn’t want him to see. The rebel tears fresh on her cheeks.

T
HE GUY WAS
C
ODY
C
OLEMAN.
Brandon knew it the moment he saw the way he looked at Bailey. The two of them had never met, and Brandon didn’t see any reason to change that. But the whole time Bailey talked to him, Brandon did little more than go through the motions. In some ways he wanted to pull the guy aside and ask him how he could’ve been so careless.

Back when he and Bailey filmed
Unlocked,
Cody was all she could talk about. She wasn’t interested in Brandon’s flirting or attempts at luring her away. Her heart was undivided for Cody, for the guy she’d grown up loving. He would tease her about it, more because he was jealous than anything else.
Where is he, Bailey? Why doesn’t he come by? What’s the truth about your invisible boyfriend?

She put up with him, but in the end Cody’s lack of attention had given Brandon the chance he needed. The opportunity to show Bailey how she deserved to be treated.

“Brandon! Over here!” People screamed his name from the crowd, but even as he raced his Sharpie pen across dozens of programs, he didn’t acknowledge them. Not really. He could only think of her — beautiful and talented and trusting him that this was a love he’d never known before.

God had worked out the timing, no question. Because when they met, Brandon wasn’t ready for a girl like Bailey. Not at first. He would’ve seen her as just one more conquest, and when he realized her virtue he would’ve walked away, uninterested. Ready for the next fling willing to sleep with him.

The reality of who he used to be turned his stomach.

“Over here! Brandon, are you and Bailey dating? Tell us about it!” Voices called to him from every direction.

He smiled and waved and ignored the questions.

A girl like Bailey deserved to have someone fight for her. And since Cody never did that, as long as God would let him, Brandon certainly would. He glanced over his shoulder at her, trying to keep his concern to himself. She was backing up, pulling away from Cody. Headed his way once more.

Brandon felt himself exhale, and he wondered how long he’d been holding his breath. When she finally reached his side he literally felt whole again, like all was right with the night and the world. For the next thirty minutes they met with the crowd, and when Brandon’s private SUV pulled up they made a dash for it.

They didn’t say much on the way to her apartment, and not until they were sitting in the small sofa overlooking the city did Brandon feel himself unwind a little, feel his thoughts come together in a way he could talk about. Bob and Betty were already asleep, and Brandon was silently thankful. He and Bailey needed this time, and it was too cold for the roof tonight. For a long time he held her hands and watched her, reading the emotions in her eyes.

“That was Cody, the guy I was talking to.”

He nodded. “I know.” His heart thudded so hard, he wondered if she could hear it. “I recognized him … from
SI.”

“Right.” She focused more intently on him. “He was in town for an ESPN interview. It was … the first time he’d been to my show.”

Brandon wanted to say that was Cody’s loss. But he kept his teeth pressed together, the words unspoken.

“What are you thinking?” Bailey looked worried, but not guilty. Definitely not guilty.

“I guess that depends on what
you’re
thinking.” He smiled,
but deep inside he imagined how he would feel if in this moment she threw him a curve, if she admitted deep feelings for Cody. If she broke up with him. The thoughts hurt too much to consider, and he banished them from his conscious. He angled his head. “So … how was it? Seeing him?”

“Strange.” She bit her lip and looked down at her lap for a moment. “For years … too many years … I thought God had Cody in my life so that he and I could be together.” She allowed a sad laugh, maybe at the memory of the girl she’d been back then. “When he came home from Iraq I thought God saved him for me.” She raised her shoulders and let them fall again. “But with Cody it’s always been something. He didn’t feel he was good enough, he didn’t want to get in the way. Didn’t want to get hurt.”

“So he kept his distance.” Brandon’s voice was soft, meant to be the tender caress, the understanding her heart needed.

“Yes. Over and over again.” She shook her head a few times. “I mean, it’s still sad. Seeing him. Knowing what he walked away from. But … the feelings I had for him. They’ve changed.”

Brandon did his best not to look alarmed. The change couldn’t have been for the better … not when the two of them were so in love. “Changed?”

“Yes. When I hugged him on my porch that night after the game, it was like hugging a brother. Someone I cared about, but not someone I wanted to run off with.” She winced a little. “Does that make sense?”

Light shone through the tightly closed shutters of his heart, the places where he was afraid of what this conversation might bring. “Yes. It does.”

“To be honest … all I could think when I was talking to him was how,” she released one of his hands and touched his face, her fingers like breath against his skin. “How much I wanted to be with you.”

Relief filled him, but he kept his smile measured. He didn’t
want her to know just how worried he’d been, how empty and awful he felt signing autographs knowing that somewhere behind him Bailey was connecting again with Cody Coleman. He grinned, desperately wanting to lighten the mood now that his heartbeat had returned to normal. “So … you’re saying I don’t have to worry about Cody.”