Look After Us (18 page)

“I want you …
now
,” I say, and he claims my mouth like it was perfectly made to fit against his. As I strip the rest of his clothes from his body and he rids me of my barely-there thong, we never once lose contact. I can feel the tip of his cock pressing against my drenched opening. His mouth pulls away from mine and he focuses his beautiful green eyes on me.

“I thought I was living the life I thought I was always destined to live … but then destiny decided to put an angel in my path, and from that moment on you took the piece of my heart that was simply coasting through life. You saved me from a life of misery; you saved me from ever existing without you. You’re my life baby, you’re my everything …
you
saved me.”

A hiss slowly escapes my mouth as his cock slides inside me. I shake my head as a single tear escapes. “No. You’re wrong.
We
saved each other from a life of misery;
we
saved each other from ever existing without each other.
We saved each other
.” My sentence ends on a soft moan as he thrusts inside of me, slowly yet with force.

“I love you, Ava,” he breathes across my lips, and before he gives me a chance to say it back, he’s already closing the space between us, pressing his lips back onto mine. His hips pick up speed as he loses himself in our kiss, thrusting into me at a leisurely pace that leaves me dazed. Unable to verbally express my love for him, I allow my finger to spell out the word ‘I’. Then I draw out a love heart before ending it with the word ‘you’ along the ridge of his shoulder blade. He groans into my mouth the very moment my finger comes to a stop and I know instantly he felt it, that he knew what my words said because his thrusts become more fierce, more intense …

Ashton is the only man I have ever been able to lose myself in, to allow the world to disappear around us and live in one where happily ever afters exist and tragedies and demons do not. When I’m lost within his touch, I feel like I can do the impossible, that I can overcome anything that life brings us.

I once prayed for death to end the torture my life brought to me, but I’m glad my prayers were left unanswered. I couldn’t imagine not being able to feel the ecstasy that currently fills my veins with pleasure or the unconditional love I feel in every subtle caress and stroke that comes from only experiencing this intense, earth-shattering, all-consuming love with the one person who I simply can’t exist without.

Right now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life, and Ashton is the reason I’m able to enjoy the pleasures that life can bring. He was there for me when I needed someone the most, when I fought two of the most terrifying battles of my life.

He saved me when nobody else could, and because of that I feel almost invincible.

And now, instead of hiding in the dark, I bask in the light.

I’m no longer scared of my past and the demons that lurk in the shadows.

I’m now excited to see what life brings … with the two people I would live, breathe and die for.

I’m finally getting the happily ever after that I finally deserve.

Two months later

THE SOUND OF GIGGLING
soothes me as I watch Lily-Mai from my lounger, her tiny feet running along the soft sand until they’re paddling in the clear blue waters. She looks so adorable in her cute little turquoise swimsuit and matching armbands and my heart melts just looking at her perfection. Ashton comes into view as he lifts Lily up into his arms and runs into the shallow water. My heart goes from melting to thundering in my chest within seconds. My eyes wander along his half-naked frame, taking in the cuts and lines of his toned muscles that are sun-kissed from three days of Hawaiian sunshine. My eyes continue downwards, taking in his board shorts that hang loose on his hips, his masculine legs and perfectly arched feet. I blink when my eyes finally settle on his face and see a raised eyebrow, his hooded eyes indicating he has just caught me blatantly checking him out. I smile unabashedly at him, unashamed of appreciating my husband’s perfect form. His look turns appreciative as he takes in my bikini-clad body, shooting me a wink before focusing his attention on my daughter.

I inhale a satisfied breath into the beaming sunshine as I continue watching the two of them goof around in the clear blue waters. I have to pinch myself to double check that this is my life I’m currently living in … that
this
is my life because I never knew happiness could be like this … so perfect.

We are on a week’s vacation to Hawaii and yesterday on this very same beach, with my daughter in the arms of Ashton and in front of Caleb and his boyfriend, Landon, I officially became Mrs. Ava Bailey. I wore a long, white flowing beach dress, with my hair falling loosely over my shoulders, and I married the love of my life for the second time. It was simple … yet perfect. I was surrounded with the only people who matter to me and I couldn’t have asked for more.

I continue to lie here on the lounger, my eyes never once straying from the two loves of my life. Being here with my family, drinking ridiculously delicious drinks made from fresh pineapples, and the sun shining down on me,
this
right here is my heaven …
my nirvana
. I’m deliriously happy and I wish my life could stay in this picture-perfect setting for the rest of my life. I know life doesn’t work that way, but right now I’m going to enjoy every minute of the good that life can bring.

Smiling, I stand on my bare feet and make my way over to Ashton and Lily. Ashton is the first to see me approach before Lily screeches, “Mommy!” at the top of her lungs. She wades her way through the water until she’s jumping into my arms.

“Hey, baby,” I say as I adjust her in my arms, the water from her body dripping onto my heated skin. “Wow, that water’s cold!” I shriek out animatedly for her benefit, causing her to sweetly giggle.

Ashton steps closer and looks at Lily with a mischievous grin on his face.

“Maybe Mommy needs to get wet, huh?” I smirk and find myself backing up from him and the devilish glint in his eyes. “I would love to get Mommy wet,” he says with a wicked smile, and I smack him lightly against his arm at the hidden innuendo. “Ashton!” I exclaim through laughter.

“What? I meant it in a totally innocent way … I promise.”
Hmm, innocent my ass.
Lily wriggles from my grasp and the moment her feet are imbedded in the wet sand she shouts, “Let’s wet Mommy!” And seconds later I’m being chased around the shore getting soaked by both Ashton and Lily. I can’t help but smile in this beautiful moment.

After a while of goofing around on the beach we bring an exhausted Lily back to the sun loungers, where she immediately passes out under the shade, gently snoring.

Ashton sits down on the twin lounger and without a moment’s thought I nuzzle myself between his legs, with my back to his chest and my head resting against his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asks pressing a gentle kiss against my earlobe. His hands trace the edge of my hips, his fingers playing loosely with the thread of my bikini bottoms.

“I’m perfect …” I sigh, feeling wonderful. I am so content right here, I feel like now is the perfect time to confess the secret I’ve been holding for almost a week. “I do have something to tell you though,” I begin a little hesitantly, my heartbeat beginning to pick up. I don’t know why I’m nervous. I know he’s going to be happy, but it’s just once he knows, it will become real and then my terrified, irrational thoughts will begin to consume my mind. I turn to face him and I can see the confusion in his eyes by the way his brows draw inwards. When I’m still silent and the words I need to say out loud are still on the tip of my tongue, Ashton says, “What is it? You look petrified.”

Here goes nothing …

Taking in a deep breath, I shakily say, “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes grow and his face breaks out in the biggest smile I think I’ve ever seen.

“You’re pregnant?” he asks, not in shock but with excitement.

I gently nod as I shift my position so I’m kneeling in between his thighs. “Yeah …”

“Baby, this is amazing!” He slams his lips onto mine and my breath catches at the sudden contact. He quickly pulls away, his green eyes searching my own. When he notices that I’m not smiling, his own smile falters and understanding seems to ignite in his eyes.

“You’re scared,” he says as a statement rather than a question because he knows me and knows that pregnancy is a scary subject for me.

“I’m happy, I really am. I love that it’s your child growing inside me, but I’m petrified that I’m going to lose the baby or go into premature labor again. The thought of losing our baby…”

“Ava …” He brings both of his hands up to my face and gently caresses my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs, capturing my stare with his. “I get that you’re scared, but this doesn’t have to be scary. We’ll be more prepared this time. As soon as we get home, we will consult with the best doctors across the country and make sure this pregnancy runs smoothly. You’re in the best hands possible, I promise.” He pauses for a brief moment to place a slow, delicate kiss against my lips. I take great comfort from his words and feel a little calmer than I did less than a minute ago. “When did you find out?”

“A couple of days before we left for Hawaii … I’ve been feeling a little sick lately, so I went to the doctor to get checked out and he confirmed that I was pregnant. He’s not sure how far along I am, but I have an appointment with the OB/GYN on Wednesday, so I’ll find out then.”

“We need to cancel it. I’ll get you in with Dr. Flanagan on Monday. She’s the best neonatal surgeon I know, and she’s a certified OB/GYN. I’ll give her a call later,” he says in a do-not-argue-with-me tone.

“Okay,” I say with a smile. Anybody else and I probably would have argued it, but since Ashton helped save Lily when she was born, his medical opinion is the only opinion I can trust, and if he says Dr. Flanagan is the best then I believe him.

He leans in closer and rests his head against mine. “We can do this, okay? It might not be easy but we can definitely do this.”

My smile grows as my fingers crawl into his wet hair, and I begin to massage his scalp as I focus on the deep green hues of his eyes. “We can do this,” I repeat with a certainty that eases my insecurities, and I’m finally able to feel excited at the prospect of bringing another human being into this world … mine and Ashton’s little human being.

“We’re having a baby,” I laugh excitedly and Ashton laughs along with me, clutching me tight to his body.

“We certainly are …” Ashton says just before he presses his lips back onto mine. We spend a few moments celebrating our news in the midst of a breathtaking kiss. He pulls away and what he does next will be etched in my mind until the day I die. Shifting on his knees, he gently smoothes his hand across my stomach before lowering his head, pressing a soft kiss against the center of my bare skin, inches away from where our tiny baby grows in the warmth of my uterus. “Hey baby, I’m your daddy,” he whispers against my stomach, causing moisture to well up in my eyes and happy tears to fall freely down my cheeks. “I can’t wait to meet you, and if you’re anything like your momma, you will be just as beautiful. Now, I don’t want you doing a Lily on us and coming early. You need to stay in there until you’re healthy and strong … but if you do decide to honor us with your presence earlier than planned, then we will fight along with you, just like we did with Lily. We will look after you. Everything will be okay, I promise.”

He places another tender kiss on my stomach. His loving touch has me sighing in content, my skin tingling from his deep affection for me. He stands tall on his knees and slides his fingers through my hair until both hands are resting at either side of my head.

“You’re amazing. Has anybody ever told you that?” I ask with a smile on my face.

He tilts his head to the side, regarding me with humor, giving me his signature smirk. “Yeah, a few times, but I never get tired of hearing it.”

I shift closer to him until my chest is pressed up against his, and let my hands linger against his firm abs. “I love you so much,” I declare, feeling my heart double in size at the love I feel for this man,
my husband.

“Not as much as I love you,” he says before descending his lips onto mine. I find myself falling under his spell, entranced with his smell, touch and feel. And now that I’m carrying his baby we made together in an act of loving passion, knowing that I have a piece of him growing inside me, makes me fall deeper in love with him. The thought of having another baby always scared me. I was positive I wouldn’t be able to cope … that if I was placed in the same situation that led me to almost losing Lily I would hit breaking point, but now that I have the strength of Ashton, I know I can cope with just about anything that life throws at me.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I now understand that it isn’t about defying the bad in life and surviving life’s curveballs, but it’s about embracing the bad and turning it into a positive, turning it into
strength
. In the past I could have allowed the evil to weaken my soul, to destroy every living cell of my body, but instead I found the strength in an unexpected place. I found it in the love of my life.