Look to the Rainbow (26 page)

     “And now?”

     “I can’t predict the future.”

     “Do you think you’ll win the nomination and the election?”

      He relaxed again. “If I didn’t think I had at least a shot at it, I never would have run.”

     “So to summarize, you’re just a fellow who’s following a dream?”

     He gave her a wink and a charming smile. “Something like that.”  It was a light hearted way to close things. Only she and Kel knew there was an inside joke.

     And that was the end of the interview. The camera crew packed up and Tara stood to leave. She didn’t want to, but she was suddenly feeling very emotional. She wasn’t sure where the conversation had left them.

    “I’ll see you at the debate,” she said.

    “You’re leaving, then?” Disappointment was written all over his face.

     “I think we still need some time. At least I do.”

     He reached out and pulled her close and bent to kiss her. Her arms went around his neck and she returned his kiss, wanting desperately to stay and knowing at the same time she needed to go. She broke away and said good night and quickly went to her car. Thankful she lived only a couple of blocks away she managed to hold off bursting into tears until she was safely inside her own apartment.

     What’s the matter with me, she thought as she cried. If I love him why do I keep running away? It hadn’t even felt like an interview. After only a few minutes she had forgotten the camera crew was there. She’d had the same feeling she always got when she talked to him. Comfortable, cozy, appreciated. He had clearly wanted her to stay. She had even gotten the answers to some of the things she had been wanting to know. The one question that hadn’t been answered was whether or not he was in love with her. She knew he was attracted to her, but it wasn’t the same thing. It wasn’t enough, not when she was so very much in love with him. But, she berated herself, if you keep running away, you’ll never know.

    And that made her cry all over again.

    Kel sat back down on the sofa where she had interviewed him and wished that he could figure out exactly what was going on between the two of them. Everything had been going so well, the interview hadn’t been at all awkward, and it so very easily could have been. He’d even told her a little about his marriage and he knew she had had questions about that. She’d obviously wanted to kiss him, but then she’d left before they could talk without the cameras rolling. He’d had every intention of asking her to dinner. He was starting to wonder if maybe he was the only one who had fallen in love.

     Kimberly and John sat in front of the fireplace of their own Georgetown house. Casey had joined them for dinner but had gone home and Seamus had elected to stay there rather than his dorm room at Gallaudet, but had gone upstairs to study for an exam.

    “Do you think Kel is in love with Tara?” Kimberly asked John.

     “I know he is. What I don’t know is if she’s in love with him.”

     “I get the feeling she is.” Kimberly said.

     “Then one of them is going to have to ask the other what happened. I don’t want to see Kel hurt again, and I really like Tara too. But I’m not Lily, nor terribly romantic, so I don’t know what to do to get them back together.”

     “Skip was certainly trying by setting up tonight’s interview. I’m hoping his little scheme was successful.”

     “And I’m guessing it still isn’t sorted out,” John said.

     “Maybe things will look better after the election,” Kim suggested.

     “Maybe. I would like to see him happy with someone again.”

     Tara did the one thing she had told herself she wouldn’t. She called Julia and ended up crying on the phone. Her mother did her best to console her and make her feel better. They tried talking about other subjects, but kept coming back to it. Finally, Tara dried her tears and thanked her mother for letting her cry on her shoulder, sort of. Julia laughed with her and told her it would all work out if it was meant to.

    “And by the way,” she told Tara. “Daddy is flying in to cover the debate. So he’ll see you there.”

     Tara loved her father dearly, but the last thing she needed right now was to have Kel and Michael in the same room together.

Chapter Twenty-Two

   
Kel looked across the table at Jim and Janet and decided to just go ahead and say what he felt he needed to. They were all planning to watch the interview, then go to the debate. At least he had support from people who could help him out if he needed it. John, Kimberly, Mary Katherine and even Alan could verify what his marriage had been like. He didn’t know how his children would react and he was fairly certain Casey and Seamus would be surprised as well. Not Skip, since he had been privy to a lot of conversations about it lately.

    “So, there are a few things that I said in the interview that might come as a shock to some of you, especially Jim and Janet.”

    Janet laughed. “Really Daddy? Do you have a secret past?”

     Kel said, “Sort of.”

     “What do you mean, Dad?” Jim asked.

      “One of the questions Tara asked me was why I never remarried.”

     “But we already know why,” Janet said. “Because you were so in love with our mother.”

     Kel looked at John. How was he going to tell his children the truth about their mother? The situation was still as touchy as it had been when they were seven and four.

     John, thankfully, jumped in. “That’s not exactly true Janet.”

     “But of course it is John.”

     “Because Debby and your grandmother said so? Did your father ever tell you that? Or anyone on our side of your family?”

     “John,” Kel said. “I’ll take it from here. I don’t want to hurt either one of you, but you’re both adults, so its time you knew. Your mother and I didn’t have the perfect marriage, in fact, she had been having an affair with someone for a very long time when she died. She was going to spend New Year’s Day with him when her plane crashed. Before she left she asked me for a divorce.”

     Janet looked stricken, but Jim said, “That makes a lot of things more clear Dad. I don’t remember much about her at all, but I do remember that she never seemed to be around. It was always just you, and John and Kim.”

     “Why do you think she was having an affair?” Janet asked, close to tears.

     “Sweetheart, I
know
she was. I saw them together. She never denied it. I loved her beyond reason until I found out she didn’t love me. Then, I was just numb. And angry. But I tried not to ever let you and Jim see that.”

     “But Debby has a scrapbook, with all your campaign clippings. And so many photos where you look happy.”

     “I’m not proud of the fact, but we both could have won academy awards in the role of political couple of the year. We could be fighting or not speaking at all in the car and then get out and convince everyone we were blissfully happy. The truth is, she never was.”

     Janet had started to cry. “I just can’t believe this. Did she love us?”

     Kel didn’t know what to say. Alise had not been a model of motherhood either. She’d tried, she probably had, but nurturing hadn’t come easily for her. When Kel didn’t answer, Alan spoke up.

     “Baby, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I’m not sure she knew how to love you, or anyone else. She barely tolerated the rest of us. She
hated
John and it was obvious. In fact the only person she ever really liked was Fiona. I never saw her play with you or Jim, never heard her tell you she loved you.”

      “And here I was, planning my wedding and wishing she was here to help me.”

     Evan had been silent during this exchange. He was sitting next to Janet and reached over and took her hand. “ Janet, there’s nothing wrong with wishing your mother was here to help you plan your wedding. But you have to know that what everyone is telling you is true. Think about when your dad was in a coma. Where was she?”

     Janet looked up, remembering. “In Florida?”

     “Yes. And she waited four days before she came. John called her within ten minutes of me admitting him to the hospital.”

     “But…he could have died.”

     Evan said, “I know. But she didn’t rush back, darlin’. That should tell you everything you need to know.”

     Everyone fell silent and Mary Katherine and Casey started clearing away the dishes. Jim broke the silence.

     “Is there anything else we don’t know?”

     “Yes. I’m in love with Tara, but I think I might have blown my chances with her.”

     “So there isn’t anything else we don’t know?” 

      “No, Jim, that’s it.” He left his place at the table and stood behind Janet. “Princess, are you okay?” He’d called her that as a little girl. She had asked him to make her room look like a castle and he’d had turrets built in the corners and a bed designed to look like a castle. They had long since been gone, but it was a fond memory for both of them.

    “Not exactly. It’s a lot to take in.” He kissed the top of her head and she turned and smiled up at him, even though she still had tears in her eyes. “Mostly I’m sad because she didn’t want us.”

     “I know. I wish she had been happier with us too.”

     “Do you have any good memories of her?”

     “Of course I do. It just got to the point where the bad ones overshadowed the good.”

     “Someday I’d like to hear the good memories.” He kissed her again and they all moved into the living room to watch the interview.

     Michael had shown up at Tara’s door in time to take her to dinner and now they were about to watch the interview. She noticed that he hadn’t said anything negative about Kel and she thought that

was strange, given the way he always had every other time she’d seen him since she started covering the campaign. As he poured them each a glass of iced tea in the kitchen, she sorted through the day’s mail

which she hadn’t had a chance to look at yet. A padded envelope with no return address caught her eye. She opened it and laughed out loud.

      “What’s funny?” Michael asked as she sat on the sofa beside him. She handed him the DVD she had taken out of the envelope.
The American President
.

      “Where did that come from?”