Looking for Cassandra Jane (The Second Chances Novels) (19 page)

“That’s right!” She smacked herself in the forehead. “I almost forgot all about that stupid jerk friend of theirs trying to force you to—” She made a face then groaned. “Oh, Cass, it’s too gross to even think about! How’re you doing, by the way?”

“Okay I guess. But I still feel kind of creepy about the whole thing. And kind of confused too. I mean, I know Jesus is healing my heart and everything but I wonder what I should do about it. Or maybe I shouldn’t do anything. I just don’t know.”

And then to my embarrassment I started to cry again. Not that loud sobbing like last night but just silent tears running down my face. I looked down at my lap. “I just feel so—so stupid.”

“Let’s go talk to Sky,” she said suddenly, throwing her car into gear. “He’ll know what to do.”

I’d never been to Sky’s place before but I felt curious to see where our saintly leader actually lived. As it turned out it was rather disappointing. Just a trashed-out little trailer parked next to the railroad tracks.

“Sky told me he’s taken a vow of poverty,” explained Sara as she parked next to an overflowing trash can. “And he thinks all worldly possessions are sinful.”

“Wow,” I said, unsure as to whether I was impressed or just surprised.

Sara knocked on the thin metal door and after about a minute Sky opened it. He looked rumpled and sleepy—and to my dismay, not terribly spiritual. “Huh?” he said. “What’re you two doing here?”

“We need some advice,” said Sara, taking the lead as usual. “Can we come in, Sky?”

He frowned slightly, then opened the door wider. “Sure, come on in. Welcome to my humble abode.”

I tried not to stare at his stark, yet somewhat messy, habitat. I found it incongruous that this “together” spiritual leader lived in what appeared to be such a chaotic and shabby dwelling. So as not to judge him, I told myself it was only because he was serving God, not man, that his place was in such a state. And I focused my eyes on his large Bible and various other study books scattered throughout the room.

“I’m not much of a housekeeper,” he said as he cleared a place for us to sit on a lumpy, mud-colored couch. Then he flopped down into an orange vinyl beanbag chair, mended with duct tape in the shape of a cross. “Now what can I do for you ladies?”

“This is really about Cass,” said Sara. “She’s still pretty upset over last night, and she’s wondering what she should do about her living conditions at the Glenns. And I got to thinking on my way over here that she really shouldn’t return to that evil place. I mean, think about the drugs and alcohol and sex and who knows what else goes on there, in fact it wouldn’t surprise me if those horrible Glenns might not be secretly worshiping Satan. Cass says they actually listen to music from Black Sabbath and Grateful Dead—and we all know that’s the devil’s music.”

Part of me wanted to defend the Glenns because despite all their flaws I didn’t really think they were Satan worshipers, but on the other hand, you just never knew. And Mrs. Glenn did seem to wear a lot of black…

“And,” continued Sara, “I would consider having Cass come stay with me for a while, but my parents have really been picking on me lately because of my—my religious beliefs.” She turned to me. “Why, Cass even witnessed my dad persecuting me just today. So I don’t really think that’s an option either. In fact I came this close—” she held her thumb and forefinger together—”to just moving out of there myself today.”

Sky nodded slowly, taking this all in as he rubbed the golden stubble on his strong, squared chin. Obviously he hadn’t shaved yet. Finally he spoke. “This is really interesting.”

“Interesting?” I felt a bit confused.

He smiled. “Well, lately I’ve been praying about this
thing.
”

“This
thing?”
I leaned forward with interest.

“Yeah. It’ll probably sound a little weird at first. But you see, about a week ago I had a vision.”

“A
vision?”
I could hear the spark in Sara’s voice. “What kind of vision was it, Sky? Can you tell us?”

“I wasn’t planning on telling anyone just yet—not until I knew for sure—but suddenly it’s all starting to make perfect sense.” He studied us both carefully, as if measuring us up, perhaps trying to determine whether we could be trusted with such precious and perhaps holy information.

I attempted to appear as mature and spiritual as my sixteen and a half years and various life experiences could afford me.

“Come on,” urged Sara. “Tell us.”

He nodded with satisfaction. “Yes, I sense that the timing is right.”

“Right for what?” I asked, suddenly wishing he wouldn’t be so mysterious but get straight to the point. Yet at the same time I silently chastised myself for my obvious impatience that reeked of immaturity. So I leaned back into the dusty couch and folded my arms, determined to play it cool. I wasn’t a child anymore.

He smiled. “Well, about a week ago I got a letter from my grandma, my dad’s mom. She lives in California, out in the country, a little ways from Carmel. Anyway, she’s got advanced diabetes and is going blind and she’d heard that I was at ‘loose ends’ as she put it. She asked me if I’d consider coming out there and taking care of her and the place for a while. At first I thought no way, I can’t go out there when I’m needed here.” He looked imploringly at us. “I couldn’t just up and leave my little flock behind.” Then he frowned. “But about that same time we started getting all that flack from the newspaper. And at one point I thought we should just shake the dust from our feet and move on—we should just leave Brookdale behind and—”

“Go to California?”
said Sara eagerly.

He nodded. “Yes, we could all go live on my grandma’s property in California. And then I could really teach and disciple everyone in the ways of our Lord. And we could grow our own food and take care of ourselves and—”

“And no one would pick on us for our beliefs,” said Sara.

“And we could live just the way that Jesus wants us to,” added Sky.

Sara sighed. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful…”

I wasn’t entirely sure what I thought. Quite honestly it seemed a little extreme and just slightly scary. “What about school?” I asked tentatively, instantly regretting my words when I saw their expressions.

“School?” Sky sighed deeply. “Don’t you yet understand, little one, that the learning of man is mere foolishness to God?”

“And besides, Cass, think about the kinds-of stuff they teach us in school,” added Sara. “Evolution and sociology and all sorts of ungodly things.”

I nodded slowly, hoping to appear wise. Perhaps they were right about these things. “What about money?” I asked. “How will we support ourselves?”

Sky smiled tolerantly at me as if he really believed I were a small child. “God will provide, Cass.”

“That’s right,” said Sara with enthusiasm. “Like I just told my dad, God will take care of us.” She turned to me, beaming now. “Doesn’t it sound exciting, Cass?”

I still wasn’t totally convinced, but when I considered my options they didn’t seem so hot either. I studied Sky carefully. “Do you really think this would work?”

He chuckled and then held up his hands. “Where is your faith, little one? If God wants us to do this thing, then who are we to question his ways?”

I nodded, a slow smile breaking onto my face. I wanted to believe him. I wanted to think it was possible for us all to go someplace safe and wonderful and live happily ever after. Maybe it could happen. “Actually it sounds pretty cool. I mean, it’d be nice not to have anyone telling me what to do—to be treated like a grown-up. But in some ways it just sounds too good to be true.”

Sky nodded. “Isn’t that how God is? He seems too good to be true, but there is none truer—no, not one.”

“Oh, Sky!” cried Sara. “When can we go?”

“Let’s pray,” said Sky.

So we all bowed our heads and prayed. Well, mostly Sky prayed, but Sara and I nodded our heads in agreement and we both said “amen” a lot and with enthusiasm. Sky asked that God would show us his divine and perfect will and lead us in the way that we should go. And when he finished Sky picked up his big Bible and flopped it open. I could tell by where the pages fell apart that it was the Old Testament (I was familiar enough with the Bible to know that much by now).

Sky closed his eyes and plunked his finger down onto the page. Then he opened his eyes and read. And this is what he read:” ‘And I have said, I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt unto the land of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, unto a land flowing with milk and honey.’ Exodus 3:17.”

To be perfectly honest, when I heard all those names like the Jesubites and Parasites, well, I just didn’t fully get it at first. I thought maybe he’d gotten the wrong verse or something. But then Sky reread it, slowly this time, and leaving out all those something-ites parts, and suddenly it made perfect sense.

“Listen,” he said, “
I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt.
Can’t you see that Egypt is just like Brookdale? We’re all in spiritual oppression here—just like slavery. And then it says that God will deliver us ‘to a land flowing with milk and honey.’ Don’t you see? That has to be my grandmother’s farm. We can raise our own milk cow and bees to make honey and we can grow our own food and everything. Doesn’t it all make perfect sense?”

The next thing I knew we were all singing and marching around his tiny little trailer singing about how God was going to deliver us from the bondage of Brookdale. And that’s when I became totally sold out to Sky’s “vision.” At last we were going to be delivered—our troubles would all be over!

Finally we all collapsed back onto the sofa, laughing so hard we were almost crying.

“All right then, when do we go?” asked Sara with her usual eagerness.

“As soon as God provides what we need for our trip,” said Sky.

“What do we need?” I asked.

“Well…” Sky grew thoughtful. “I have my VW bus and I think that’ll get us there. But I’m a little short on funds right now.”

“I’ve got some money,” I piped up.

“Enough to get us clear to California?” asked Sara skeptically.

“Yeah. I think I’ve got about eight hundred dollars in my savings account.”

“Wow!” Sky was impressed. “Where’d you get all that?”

I grinned. “I guess God provided.”

He gave me a high five. “Way to go, sis!”

I felt a slight twinge of remorse when I considered how hard I’d worked to save up for what I’d considered to be my college fund. But how could you argue with the ways of God? And so it was decided that sooner would be better.

“We shouldn’t tempt God,” said Sky. “If he’s calling us to do this thing we should do it straightaway—to wait is to doubt, to doubt is to sin.”

“But I can’t get my money out of the bank until tomorrow,” I said, realizing in dismay that today, New Year’s Day, was a holiday.

“Well then, let’s wait until tomorrow,” said Sky, his eyes bright. “That will give us time to rest up and prepare.”

“What about the others?” asked Sara.

“Let’s get the word out that everyone’s invited to come along. Then we’ll just pray and see what happens.”

We talked some more about the trip and what we’d do once we got there, but it was that dreamy kind of talk where everything works out just perfectly and I don’t for a minute think that any single one of us really knew what we were getting into—what we were creating in that moment. All we knew was that we believed God was leading us—and who wanted to question the leading of God?

We also decided that I would return to the Glenn’s house that day—so as to avoid any unnecessary suspicion. So I went back and began cleaning up the remnants of last night’s party, my one consolation being that I would never have to do it again! With my domestic responsibilities taken care of, I was then picked up by Sara and we went over to Cindy’s house, where an impromptu meeting had been called—a meeting of great urgency, Sara had informed everyone by phone. Almost everyone in our little group attended.

Sky explained exactly what it was we were embarking upon, and as he told the story it seemed to grow even more wonderful and spiritual and exciting by the moment. It was as if we were these spiritual pilgrims going off to discover the new country and true spiritual freedom and God only knew what else. Maybe we’d even write a book about it. Sky mentioned the possibility that God might be calling some of us to be prophets or who knew what else.

It amazes me now to think that not one among us questioned any of this at the time. While a few quietly decided not to join in, no one said anything negative about Sky’s plans. And most of the group really wanted to come.

In the end there were seven of us that would go at first and almost everyone else promised to join up with us later. The original seven would consist of Sky and Sara and me, plus Cindy and Mitch (who hoped to be married soon), as well as Linda Farnsworth and Skip Holmes (a couple of kids I didn’t know that well, but who also came from troubled homes and were eager to escape to “The Promised Land”).

When I finally got back to my quarters (which once again seemed to be my dungeon—symbolic of the bondage I’d soon be delivered from) I carefully packed up my things and then fell into bed utterly exhausted. I think one of the most amazing things about that entire New Year’s Day was the way I almost completely forgot about that horrible episode with George the previous night. With so much else on my mind it was as if that unfortunate and terrifying event had just been completely wiped away. And so I slept soundly that night. In fact I can’t even recall if I prayed before I went to sleep or not—but then we’d been praying a whole lot lately and I was feeling pretty spiritually elevated just then.