Lord of Hell (Alex Holden) (2 page)

Fucking jerk. “There are souls in Hell that don’t deserve to be there.”

He took a step closer and glared. “I do not make mistakes.”

“Suicides. Gay people. Non-Christians and people who stopped believing.” My hand itched for Animus. I’d left her at home in an effort to be a bit more diplomatic.

“All of them are sinners. I believe you have read the Bible.”

“What about the New Testament?”

“I was quite clear on who gets into Heaven.”

I looked up at him. He was about the same height as Beelzebub. “So they deserve to suffer for eternity because they didn’t kiss your ass?”

Bright light emanated from him and I had to squint.

“I am the Lord God Almighty!”

“And you’re a fucking asshole!”

“Do not test me, Alexander.” The light slowly faded. “Unrepentant sinners are not allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven.”

I crossed my arms. “So that’s it?”

“That is it. Now leave, and do not bother me again.”

I figured as much.

***

I went to visit Joshua. He’s the Second Coming of Christ and as bizarre as it is, we’re friends. No one was home. Neither he or his mom had cell phones, which was annoying. I knew what I was getting them for Christmas this year. I could pinpoint him and teleport to wherever he was with a little concentration, but I didn’t want to suddenly appear in a grocery store or a homeless shelter or wherever they were.

I sat on the front step and decided to wait for a while. If they took too long, I’d have to come back later. I didn’t want to wait. I wanted to talk to him right now while I was still pissed off.

I scrolled through posts on my Facebook page for a good half hour. My cult had started one for me so we could keep in touch about non-emergency stuff. I hadn’t told them yet about becoming Lord of Hell. Sending them a post was definitely not the way to go. I’d have to visit them soon.

Just as I was considering giving up, Joshua and his mom pulled up in her little beat-up Honda. Joshua hurried out. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah, your dad is a big… jerk.” I sighed. “It’s not an emergency, I just need to talk. Can we go for a walk?” I needed to move, and if we went inside, I’d just end up pacing. Besides, I didn’t want his mom overhearing.

Joshua studied me. “Of course.”

We headed down the sidewalk and I tried to gather my thoughts. I didn’t want to yell at him. He wasn’t the one I was mad at, after all. “I found souls that don’t belong in Hell.”

I told him what had happened. When I finished he didn’t say anything. He was quiet so long I finally looked over at him. Joshua had his head down, his brows pulled together in a frown.

“Can you talk to him or something?” I asked. “He wouldn’t listen to me, but maybe he’d listen to you.”

“I don’t know…” He glanced up, then looked away.

“Don’t tell me you agree with him?” My hand started to clench into a fist.

“I don’t think people deserve to suffer for those things, but… He’s God.” He gave me a helpless look.

“He’s not the only one.” Lightbulb. “If Jehovah won’t take them, I’ll find someone who will.” Those souls deserved a paradise after what they’d been through.

Joshua grabbed my arm as I was getting ready to teleport. “I’ll talk to him. I don’t think I can change his mind, but at least I can ask.”

“Thanks,” I said. Sometimes I got annoyed at him for being such a daddy’s boy, but it was hard to stay mad at him.

***

The next day I got the old gang together. Stefan, Emily, Colin, and Elliot—we’re all demigods, and a year ago we stopped Ragnarok twice and the Apocalypse once. We were all off for summer vacation. Well, I wasn’t really off. I had a hell of a summer job. Haha, get it? We were in one of the cemeteries we always used to meet in. The familiarity was nice, and I leaned against an old tree as I filled them in on what had happened.

“So I need to find somewhere for them to go.” I snorted at the absurdity. It sounded like I was finding homes for abandoned pets. I told Stefan, “I want you to talk to your dad and see if he’ll take some of them to Valhalla. I know some of them were soldiers.” His father is Odin, who takes fallen warriors to his hall.

He nodded. “Sure.”

I looked at Elliot and cut him off before he could protest. He’s the son of Ares, and that made him my connection to the Greek gods, but I had another contact. “Don’t worry, you’re off the hook. I’m friends with Persephone, so I’ll just go visit and ask if her and Hades will take some of them.” Most of the Greek Underworld is gloomy, but Hades rules the Elysian Fields, too.

“Do you want me to talk to my dad?” Emily asked. She’s the daughter of Ra, the Egyptian sun god.

“Sure. We can ask him first, to be polite. Then I’ll talk to Anubis and Osiris about letting souls into their afterlife.”

Hopefully this didn’t count as interference between pantheons since I was asking and the souls were part of my realm. Jehovah had said he wasn’t going to let them into Heaven, but he didn’t say I couldn’t do something else with them.

“And I can talk to my family,” Colin said. His mother is Brigid, of the Celtic pantheon. “I know the Morrigan is a fan of yours.”

“Yeah, thanks.” She was the most likely to help me. She’d let me borrow Excalibur, after all, and that’s not the kind of thing you just let anybody do. “Text me when you get an answer.”

Elliot cleared his throat. “I…I want to help, too. I just don’t know what to do.”

I tapped my leg, thinking. I wouldn’t ask him to go to Hades. Even the gods are afraid of that place. I briefly considered asking him to go to New Orleans and talk to Baron Samedi, but the baron would probably make him cry. His idea of teasing isn’t gentle.

“Why don’t you come with me?” Stefan said. “I could use some company.”

Elliot sighed. “All right.” He must have known it was a pity offer.

“We should go now. Please,” I said. “I want those poor people out of Hell as soon as possible.”

They nodded.

“Can I come with you, Emily? We can ask Ra and then go straight to see Anubis and Osiris.” I frowned. “You can go to the afterlife, right?” I could visit all the various lands of the dead because of who my father was, and now I was in charge of an underworld myself.

“Um, I think so. I guess we’ll have to ask to make sure.”

“Well, no big deal if you can’t.” I turned to the rest of the group. “Check in when you know something, and we’ll meet here again tomorrow if we need to discuss anything.”

“So,” I asked Emily, “you want to practice your teleporting skills?”

Over the last couple of months, she’d started gaining that ability. She was a year younger than I’d been when I was first able to teleport. I’d been able to do it for a little over a year, and it would’ve been really fucking handy to have had it sooner. Well, at least I’d discovered the gates between cemeteries long before that. It had made running away from home a hell of a lot easier.

“Are you sure?” She rubbed her arm. “What if I can’t? Or what if we get lost?”

I shrugged. “Then I’ll get us there. Don’t worry. You can’t learn if you never practice.”

“Okay.” She reached out and I took her hand as she squeezed her eyes tight. A few seconds passed. A minute. “It’s not working.”

“Try again. Remember how hard it was for me? Now it’s easy, and I can go wherever I want.”

“But you’re… special.”

“So are you. You’re the daughter of Ra. You saved the world.”

She smiled. “You’re right. I’ll try again.” Emily closed her eyes again. A few seconds went by and then the world lurched. She squeezed my hand almost painfully and her eyes shot open.

We stood on a riverbank with a hot sun blazing down on us from a clear, blue sky. I blinked and shaded my eyes. “Looks like the right place.”

To our right was a huge temple. It looked like pictures I’d seen of temples in Egypt, except everything was bright and new. Colorful murals along the front of the temple showed Ra in his boat, making his daily trip across the sky. I looked up at the sun and wondered how literal they took things here. I’d only ever been to the Egyptian afterlife.

Emily jumped in celebration and clapped her hands. “I did it!”

“Is this place familiar?”

She nodded. “It’s my dad’s house. Come on.” She hurried toward the shadowed entryway.

A guard stepped out to question us, but after getting a good look at Emily, he moved out of the way. “You may pass, daughter of Ra.”

“Thank you.”

I followed her in, worried for a second that the guard would stop me, but he only gave me a mildly curious glance. Other guards were spaced along the wide hall of columns. It kind of reminded me of the throne room in Hell, except the paintings and hieroglyphics gave the place some life. Artwork, huh? I wondered if that would help liven up the throne room.

As we went deeper, there were more guards until finally we were stopped just outside a large pair of doors. “What is your business here?”

Emily made a surprisingly formal bow. “I seek an audience with Ra.”

“And what of him?” the guard asked, giving me a hard look.

“I’m with her.”

The guard’s eyes narrowed. “I will announce you.” He went in while a second guard kept an eye on us.

“If it’s a problem that I’m here, I’ll go,” I told Emily. I didn’t want to risk souls not being let into paradise because Ra didn’t like me coming to his house.

“It’ll be fine. The guards are just serious. They’re always like this.” She smiled. “My dad doesn’t hate you, I promise.”

The guard came out and held one of the doors open. “You may enter.”

Ra’s throne room was much nicer than mine. Even though it was serious, it was more luxurious than stark. And of course, the lack of demons helped.

Emily made it to the foot of the throne and broke out in a smile. “Daddy.” She went up the steps to the dais as Ra stood. He wrapped her in a hug, which gave me a pang of jealousy. I wished my parents would’ve shown me that kind of affection.

“Hello, daughter. What brings you here?”

“Alex and I have something to ask you.” She nodded for me to go ahead.

“I found some souls in Hell that don’t belong there. I want to ask Osiris and Anubis if they’ll take these souls to the Field of Reeds, but I wanted to ask your permission first.” Attempting to be polite, I threw in “sir.”

“Ah, yes. You now rule the Christian underworld.” He sat on his throne again and Emily came back down to join me. “This poses a bit of a problem. You no longer belong to the mortal world. You are now part of the Christian pantheon since you took your father’s place.”

“Shit. You mean I’m a god?” The thought had crossed my mind, but I’d tried not to think about it.

“Yes, and we cannot interfere with the affairs of another pantheon.”

That was no good, and I couldn’t leave it at that. “It’s not interfering if I ask you to help.”

“It is Jehovah’s affair.”

I took a step closer. “No, it’s not. I asked him to take the souls to Heaven and he refused. He didn’t say they had to stay in Hell. He didn’t say they had to be punished. He just said he wouldn’t let them in. They belong to me, they’re under my protection now, and I want them to go somewhere happy and beautiful.”

“He’s right,” Emily said. “Jehovah doesn’t want them. He doesn’t care if Alex sends them somewhere else.” Which might not be exactly true, but I wasn’t going to argue.

Ra was silent for a moment. “Very well, but you must convince Osiris yourself.”

“Yes. Thank you.” I managed a bow.

“I will send a messenger to inform him that you are coming.”

“Should we go now?” Emily asked me.

“I’ll go. You can stay here and visit with your dad. Tell him how you teleported here by yourself.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I know them. I can’t be sure they’ll say yes, but at least they’ll talk to me.” I’d only met Osiris once, but I’d talked to Anubis several times. He appreciated my kindness to the dead and how I’d helped some ghosts stuck on Earth cross over.

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” I walked out of the throne room and through the huge house. I figured it was polite to wait until I was outside to teleport. While I walked, I thought about what Ra had said. A god. I was a god now. Did that mean I wasn’t human anymore?

It definitely meant the rules had changed. I was glad I’d decided to be polite and ask the king of the Egyptian pantheon first. He might’ve taken it badly if I’d gone straight to the afterlife gods.

As I stepped out into the bright sunlight, a much worse thought occurred to me. If any more events leading to Ragnarok started, I wouldn’t be able to stop them. Not without risking a war between the gods, and that could very well cause the end of the world.

I was stuck playing by the same rules as everyone else.

Fuck.

Chapter 3

I had no problem getting into Osiris’s palace. A guard stopped me at the audience chamber and went to announce me. Just like with Ra, although this guy didn’t give me any nasty looks. A moment later, Anubis came out and gave me his typical jackal grin. “Hi, Alex.”

“Hi.”

“Ra’s messenger let us know you were coming. Follow me.”

The audience chamber was lit with several torches, giving the room a warm glow. Looking around, I decided I was definitely going to change the throne room in Hell.

“How are you handling your new responsibilities?” Anubis asked. “I can’t imagine you were very happy to take over Hell.”

I sighed. “No. But since I am in charge, I’m going to run things the way I want to. Did the messenger tell you why I was coming?”

He led me to the empty throne, which was only slightly raised from the rest of the room. The other time I’d visited, I’d been to the chamber where they did the Weighing of the Heart, and that room was much more extravagant. “He said you wanted to ask us about taking some of the souls from Hell.”

“Is Osiris going to meet with us?”

“He should be here in a moment. We only just got the message. You must’ve come straight here.”

“Yeah. I want them to find their new homes as soon as possible.” Again it made me think of abandoned pets.

Another guard came in to announce Osiris had arrived. The Egyptian god of the dead made his way to the throne, all stiff and formal, like he was holding an audience for a bunch of subjects instead of just me. “Greetings, Alex, Lord of Hell. Welcome to my palace.”