Lord of the White Hell book Two lotwh-2 (25 page)

"I figured you'd be able to light them," Elezar said.

Javier scowled at the candles and for a brief moment Kiram thought Javier found them too rank to light. But then he realized that to set the candles aflame Javier would have to open the white hell.

"We'll attract less attention if we go through the dark," Kiram said.

Elezar snorted derisively.

"Sure. No one will notice us crashing into pots and knocking over cooking stools," Elezar replied. "We'd be very stealthy then."

"I'm just saying that too much light might attract someone. Maybe we could leave the door open to let in the moonlight." Kiram's attention wasn't really on the argument but on Javier's silence and the close tension of his body-the shaking intake of a single breath then its painfully slow release.

"Just light the candles," Elezar said.

All three of them stood in the dark for what seemed far too long.

Then a huge flash of white light flared up from Javier's hand. Elezar's frown and Javier's clenched brow were both clearly illuminated. Kiram guessed that his own expression of concern was probably caught by the sudden burst as well. The light dimmed in an instant to be replaced by flickering candle flames.

Something like suspicion still showed in Elezar's expression.

"My nose hurts," Kiram announced, hoping to draw Elezar's attention from Javier.

"Were you punched in the nose?" Javier asked.

"Yes."

"Mystery solved." Javier sounded tired.

Elezar gave a soft laugh. Then to Kiram's surprise Elezar reached out and patted his shoulder. "It hurts like hell, I know, but it doesn't look broken. You'll be fine."

The pungent odor of tallow curled into the air. Elezar took one candle and Kiram accepted another. They negotiated their way between long wooden worktables, tall stools and racks of hanging pots and pans to a small door. Elezar dug a key out from his coat pocket and unlocked the door to expose a wrought iron staircase.

The steps were small and wound upward at such a sharp angle that Kiram had to wonder how many servants had tumbled down them. Spiraling shadows danced around him in the flickering candlelight.

At last they emerged from behind a decorative panel and stepped out into a long corridor. Large silver mirrors caught the light of their candles and illuminated several doors.

"That's an odd staircase," Kiram commented. "What's it used for?"

"Deliveries from the kitchen to the men's chambers." Javier gave a wicked grin. "Timoteo likes to have his sweets waiting for him in his bed. And of course we use it to creep upstairs."

"More often downstairs when we were children. Javier and I used to sneak out all the time." Elezar led them along the corridor past ornate mirrors and doors painted bright red.

"But Lady Grunito has to know about the staircase, doesn't she?" Kiram asked. Paintings in heavy gold frames hung on the walls but all Kiram could make out of them was shadowy landscapes and ghostly pale faces.

"Obviously she knows, but it suits her dignity to ignore it," Elezar replied.

"The mark of any truly refined Cadeleonian is how well he can ignore indecency without seeming indecently ignorant," Javier said, and Kiram thought he was quoting someone but wasn't sure who. Probably Bishop Seferino, his perennial favorite.

Before he could ask, his attention fell on a black door with gold symbols gilded across its surface. Incantations gleamed even over the doorknob. Javier drew to a halt and Kiram stopped beside him. Only Elezar continued on several steps before turning back to them.

"He might as well use my room," Javier said to Elezar. Then glancing to Kiram, he added, "This room was originally designed for my great-grandfather. The Tornesals have been taking advantage of Grunito hospitality for several generations so it's quite a sight."

"You're sure?" Elezar asked, though Kiram wasn't certain whom he was addressing. "We have an empty guest room."

"It won't have been aired or have a fire. Tonight he'll be more comfortable with me. And that gives your mother the opportunity to decide how best to house a Haldiim guest."

"There's always my…" Elezar didn't seem capable of fully extending the invitation and instead he just shrugged. "Fine. Go clean up and bed down. I'll wait out here for Javier."

Even here in his own house Elezar wouldn't cross the threshold of Javier's bedroom. Kiram, however, walked directly in.

The room turned out to be a suite with gold wards and blessings written across the floor and walls so densely that the chambers looked like they were gilded. Even the bedding bore Cadeleonian blessings embroidered into the coverlet.

"They certainly weren't taking any chances, were they?" Kiram commented.

Javier smiled. "Makes the incantations at the academy look like shoddy work."

Kiram ran his hand over the gilded script and curling lines that decorated the back of a chair.

Javier opened a wardrobe and tossed Kiram a long white nightshirt. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Do you need something to eat?"

"I'm fine."

"Really?" Javier asked. He seemed almost nervous. "I could stay-"

"Not with Elezar waiting outside the door. He's already suspicious as is." Kiram shook his head and found that it didn't hurt too badly to do so. "I'm fine. Really. Just sore and tired. I think my pride is more injured than anything else."

"Not much I can do about that but my bed is yours," Javier assured him. He lowered his voice. "I only wish I could join you in it"

"I wish you could too."

"Later." Javier kissed his lips lightly and then withdrew.

Alone in the glittering gold bedchamber, Kiram listened as Javier and Elezar's voices receded down the hall. He fed a log into the fireplace, then stripped and washed at Javier's basin. Blood rinsed away from his hands and face. Warm light crackled up from the fire as Kiram dressed in Javier's nightshirt and retreated into the soft comfort of the bed.

He didn't think he would sleep-not this early in the evening- but then he closed his eyes and drew in the subtle scents of Javier's body that lingered in the bedding. Moments later he lay snoring.

Intense warmth rolled over him. He thought that the fire must have heated the room more than he'd expected. But when he cracked an eye only embers glowed in the fireplace. Yet a golden light flickered over the gilded walls. He closed his eyes again and drifted, half dreaming of the warm hands that caressed his back and traced the curve of his spine. He stretched into the sensation. The dull ache of his muscles seemed to fade.

Then he felt long fingers slip under his nightshirt to rest on his buttocks.

Kiram opened his eyes again. The golden incantations on the far wall flashed and gleamed.

"Javier?" Kiram asked, though the name came in a rough whisper. He started to roll over to look at the man behind him but a firm grip caught his shoulder, not quite restraining him but slowing his movement.

"Don't punch me," Javier said.

"Why would I punch you?" Kiram turned around and realized why. White flames curled and twisted over Javier's hands and his bare skin looked luminous, almost as if lit from within. Kiram caught a brief glimpse of the hollows of Javier's skull and bones beneath his flesh but Javier drew in a slow breath and the eerie skeletal shadows fled.

"You nearly laid me out flat in the grove last night," Javier replied. "I feel justified in my concern."

"I made it up to you in bed later, didn't I?"

"You did indeed." Javier reached down and stroked Kiram's cheek. Soothing heat rushed over Kiram's skin and the tenderness of his bruised jaw and nose faded. "Is that better?"

Kiram nodded. Javier continued to stroke his cheek and then ran his hand along Kiram's neck. His motions were smooth but very deliberate as he restrained the raw power of the shajdi so that it soothed and warmed Kiram gently. Beads of sweat rose across Javier's brow, but he continued to caress Kiram.

"Lady Grunito feels that it would best for her other guests and you as well if you continued to room with me since you're Haldiim," Javier informed him with a slight smirk. "Apparently, it's now widely agreed upon that being Haldiim makes you immune to my nocturnal corruptions."

"Hardly." Kiram laughed but then he asked, "Did you tell her why I'm here? About my family?"

"No, I told her that you'd come to visit Nestor but didn't feel lively enough to be presented at a formal dance." Javier gazed down at Kiram and smoothed a lock of his hair back from his face. "You do look better now."

Kiram nodded. He felt warm and languid under Javier's hands. As he studied Javier, the light radiating from him receded and gave way the flickering glow of the fireplace.

"I certainly don't look as good as you" Kiram ran a hand over the embroidered silk of Javier's trousers. Silver suns glinted beneath his fingers.

"Maybe not tonight," Javier conceded. "But I'm not the one who was beaten and thrown out of his house."

"I was thrown out of the house first" Kiram clarified. "And then I got into a fight for a completely different reason." It wasn't absolutely the truth. Both arguments had stemmed from his refusal to be what other people wanted.

"Really?" Javier raised a brow. "Your brother didn't do this to you?"

"Majdi?" Kiram almost laughed at the idea of his brother bothering to abuse him. "Never. Beating an unruly son isn't the Haldiim way. Much too straightforward. They just throw you out and make sure no one in the entire community will help you with anything."

Kiram tried not to think on how effective that course of action could be.

He had no idea what he would do for money. How would he even return to the Sagrada Academy or pay for his tuition? Hundreds of anxieties crawled through him but he refused to think on them. Not now.

"But why would your mother do that?" Javier asked.

"It was inevitable." Kiram sighed and leaned his head against Javier's thigh. "Sooner or later she had to realize that I wouldn't ever settle down with Hashiem or anyone else like him. I guess it was sooner rather than later."

"She threw you out for that?"

"She was angry about me breaking her promises and embarrassing her but, yes, what it really came down to was that I wouldn't marry the man she chose." He didn't want to recount the full argument, because to do so would mean passing his mother's insulting words on to Javier. And he felt too ashamed that his own mother could have said such things to do that. When Javier had first come to his house he'd assured him that his people weren't so bigoted as to disdain him for merely being Cadeleonian. At the time he'd feared that Javier might insult them for their strange Haldiim ways. He couldn't have been more wrong.

Javier said, "So she discovered that you and I are lovers?"

Kiram glanced to Javier's face in surprise. He couldn't remember Javier ever outrightly calling them lovers before. Certainly he'd never used the Cadeleonian word.

"Yes," Kiram said. "She found out that you and I are lovers."

"Would it do any good if I talked to her?" He stroked Kiram's shoulder absently.

"No. She's in no mood to listen." Kiram watched the firelight dance across the gilded walls and felt Javier's strong fingers play over his skin. The moment seemed almost perfect. But it couldn't last.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." Kiram's voice failed him.

"What do you want to do?" Javier asked, as if it could be that simple.

"I want to be a mechanist," Kiram replied out of habit, but then a deeper longing came to him. "I want to travel and see the world. I want to be your lover."

A proud smile broke through Javier's concerned expression. "I'd be happy to fulfill your third wish this very moment."

"Very generous." Kiram laughed briefly but then felt cold fear close in on him once more. "That's fine for one night but tomorrow-"

"We'll still be lovers tomorrow." Javier leaned close and kissed him.

Kiram longed to allow Javier's desire to eclipse his own anxiety. But Javier drew back. He straightened and lifted a gold chain from around his neck. As he held the necklace out, Kiram recognized the lotus charm. Alizadeh had blessed it for Kiram and Kiram had given it to Javier with the hope that it would ease his troubled dreams.

"Do you remember the night you gave this to me?" Javier slipped the necklace over Kiram's head.

Kiram nodded. He couldn't have forgotten. It had been the same night that Javier had first called himself a bender and accepted Kiram into him.

And suddenly Kiram realized that on that day Javier too had faced the loss of so many certainties that had once been his assured future. He'd been terrified that night and yet he hadn't backed down-not from the physical reality of sex with another man and not from the loss of his Cadeleonian faith.

Kiram touched the medallion. It still felt warm from Javier's body.

"Do you want to go back to your mother's house?" Javier asked and Kiram could see the fear beneath his composure.

"No, I want to stay with you," Kiram said, realizing that this was what mattered most. He'd wanted Javier and he'd wanted independence and now he had them both. "I made the right choice. I know I did."

Kiram flopped back on the bed and gazed up at the gleaming gold blessings above him. "I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes. Tonight, it's just us."

All the tension drained from Javier's careful expression and he smiled an easy, seductive smile.

"Let's make the night last long then" Javier rose from the bed and then returned with a jar of sweet oil. He rested it on the bedside table as if leaving its use to Kiram's discretion. Javier's generosity and trust touched Kiram deeply. He could hardly believe that at one time he'd felt too unsure of Javier to share his body with him. Now it was all he wanted. Just the thought of taking Javier deep within himself, feeling him so close, sent a shock of longing through Kiram's body.

"You're far too formally dressed for this occasion," Kiram informed him.

"Indeed?" Javier arched a brow and smiled. "Shall I call for a valet?"

"I think it would be wisest if you learned to live with my untrained services." Kiram slid the opulent jacket from Javier's shoulders. He stripped away Javier's silver raiment, taking care with the costly clothes at first but then growing more desperate as Javier kissed and caressed him throughout the ministrations. Kiram gave a soft groan as Javier's hands slid under his nightshirt and skimmed over his loins.