Lorraine Heath (24 page)

Charles nodded. Jesse helped him to stand. Maddie moved in beside him. “Charles?”

He took her hand, wishing he had the strength to squeeze her hand in reassurance. “You stay with Taylor. She’ll be upset if she loses her kite.”

She had neither the courage nor the desire to smile, but placed a light kiss on his cheek before turning her attention back to Taylor.

Charles leaned into Jesse as they walked slowly toward the stand of trees. Jesse supported him as he eased to the ground beneath the cool shade of the oak tree. Charles leaned against the rough bark of the tree as Jesse sat beside him. “Maddie worked out, didn’t she, Jesse?”

Jesse looked across the clearing at Maddie, catching her laughter as she helped Taylor guide her kite. “Yeah, she did.”

With effort, Charles shifted his body, dug something from his pocket, and placed it in Jesse’s hand. “Remember this?”

Jesse stared at the delicate circle of gold. “Mother’s ring. How did you come to have it?”

“Remember that box of odds and ends I used to hoard under my pillow and would never share with you? Somehow it ended up in there. It never seemed right that I had it. I bought Alice and Maddie their own rings.”

Jesse closed his fingers over the precious gift. His mother had often told him the ring bound her to the one she loved.

“Will you do me a favor?” Charles asked. Jesse gazed upon his brother, his complexion sallow. “Anything.”

“I want you to promise me that when the man who loves Maddie marries her, he’ll place that ring on her finger.”

Jesse turned his face away, tightening his fist until he felt the ring cut into his palm. Had he been so transparent these last months?

“Promise me.”

Jesse gave a curt nod, his voice hoarse. “I promise.”

Sighing in relief, Charles lay back against the tree. “That’ll keep it in the family, won’t it, Jesse?”

Jesse unfolded his hand. “Yeah.”

Charles’s eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry, Jesse. I should have given her her freedom long ago … when I realized she was falling in love with you.”

Jesse met his brother’s gaze. “She never strayed from her vows, Charles. Nothing but words ever passed between us.” He grimaced. “Well, maybe a kiss or two.”

“I know, and it somehow makes what I did seem that much more selfish, but you see, I’m a coward. I was always afraid I’d die at night … and I didn’t want to be alone. Hell of a thing to ask of a woman.”

“She’s your wife—”

“No, Jesse, she was never my wife. She’s been a good mother to my children and a treasured friend to me, but never my wife.” He rested his palm over his chest. “Within my heart, I’ve only ever had, only ever wanted one wife … and that was Alice. You have to understand how much I love Alice or you’ll never understand what I’m going to tell you now.”

“Kite, fly high!” Taylor cried, her hands balled into tight fists around the twig where the string was secured. Maddie pulled Taylor close against her and listened to the luting of the wind, a beautiful sound, almost like a love song gracing the heavens. A calmness wrapped around her, and she knew an inner peace unlike any she’d ever known.

In the distance, she heard the anguished sobs and looked toward the trees where Jesse had taken Charles. She felt her heart plummet at the sight of Jesse hovering over Charles.

“I’ll watch Taylor,” Paul said, placing his hand upon her shoulder.

Maddie turned to Paul. She saw in his face the painful truth her heart did not want to accept. Cassie was nestled up against his side. She watched Cassie’s small shoulders shake as Paul’s arm protectively shielded her grief from the children. She squeezed Cassie’s hand. “Do you want to come with me?”

Turning her face from Paul’s chest, Cassie shook her head and forced a trembling smile. “I prefer for my last memory to be of Charles flying a kite.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “Paul and I will keep the children occupied. You go to Jesse.”

Grateful for their quiet strength and calm, Maddie nodded. Walking quickly toward the trees encased in the late afternoon shadows, the grief welling inside her, she gathered her own courage and strength. She knelt in the tall grass, knowing if she could have found the words to voice aloud, she would have said them, knowing some things in life were meant to be delivered in silence. She placed her hands on Jesse’s trembling shoulders.

Gently, he lay Charles on the cool earth before wrapping his arms around Maddie and pressing his face against her breast. “We were talking. Then he pointed toward the trees and said he saw Alice, that she was as beautiful as she was the day he married her. I looked, but I didn’t see anything.” He lifted his head, his eyes searching hers for something he couldn’t understand. “He was smiling, and there was so much gladness in his eyes, I can’t even describe it. He reached out, curling his fingers as though he was taking somebody’s hand.” He choked back a sob. “Then he was gone.”

Maddie drew him against her and felt his body wracked with the force of his grief.

“Damn, it hurts,” he whispered hoarsely. “I wasn’t ready for him to go.”

“But he was.” With tears flooding her eyes, she cradled his cheek with her palm. “He missed Alice so much, and now he’s with her.”

Nodding, Jesse moved away and roughly swiped the tears from his face. He brushed his wrist beneath his nose, sniffing and stifling any further tears. “Yeah, he was telling me just how much he loved her, how much he cared about you.” He released a ragged sigh. “I need to get him to the house.”

“I’ll go with you.”

He could do little more than nod. He lifted Charles into his arms, cradling him one last time.

The door squeaked as Maddie opened it and stepped out onto the porch. Aaron sat on the steps, his elbows digging into his thighs, his chin perched in his hands. Ranger lay at his feet as though he, too, mourned.

That afternoon Charles had been laid to rest beside his beloved Alice. Taylor was too young to understand. To Hannah, Charles had just gone on a trip to be with their mother. Aaron alone understood the finality. Maddie sat beside him.

“It’s all right to cry, Aaron.”

Aaron shook his head. “Uncle Jesse didn’t cry.”

“Yes, he did,” she said softly. “And when he did, I put my arms around him like this.” She put her arms around Aaron, pulling him against her breast. “And held him close.”

The first sob was silent, no more than a shudder passing through the child’s body. It was followed by a sob that sounded as though it had been torn from his heart. “I miss Pa,” Aaron croaked, flinging his arms around Maddie.

Maddie allowed her own tears to wash down her face as she pressed her cheek to the top of Aaron’s head. “We all do. He was very special and that’s what we have to think about and remember: all of his smiles, the sound of his laughter. How much we loved him. How much he loved us.”

Aaron moved away, swiping the tears from his face. “You gonna marry Uncle Jesse now? Pa said you would. Said I was to be understanding about it.”

Maddie glanced away, guilt manifesting itself within her because Charles had seen through her, had known about the feelings she harbored for his brother.

“You love him, don’t you?” Aaron asked.

She pulled him close, resting her chin on the top of his head. “It’s too soon, Aaron. Our hearts still hurt.”

Cassie walked out to the small cemetery. As he had so often in the passing days, Jesse stood before Charles’s grave. She wrapped her hands around two slats of the fence.

“Paul and I have decided to go to Galveston for a couple of weeks,” she said. “We thought we’d take the children with us. Give them a change of scenery, get to know them better.”

Jesse glanced over at her and nodded. “That sounds like a good idea. Maybe you could take Maddie with you.”

Cassie opened her mouth as though to speak, then closed it. She looked to the golden leaves of the trees. Life never seemed simple. She brought her gaze back to Jesse. “Actually, Jesse, I was thinking perhaps you and Maddie could get married before we left. It would give you a chance to have some time without the children underfoot.”

“Jesus!” Jesse moved quickly through the gate and stormed around the fence until he was staring down at her. “It’s only been two weeks. Show some respect, for Christ’s sake.”

“Is that what you and Maddie are doing? Showing respect? Is that why you avoid each other, why you don’t talk to each other? Is that why you stand here in front of Charles’s grave and she walks to the creek? Out of respect? Or is it out of guilt?”

Jesse plowed his fingers through his hair, his voice ragged. “Charles knew what we felt. I took from him what was his.”

Cassie placed her hand on his arm. “No, Jesse. He never intended for Maddie to be his.” She pulled an envelope from her pocket. “Charles gave this to Paul the day before he died. He told him to give it to me when the time was right. I want to share a portion of it with you.” She removed a piece of paper from the envelope and began to read quietly.

Cassie folded the paper and placed it back into the envelope. “We’ll be leaving late Saturday afternoon. I thought a simple ceremony here at the house would be appropriate.” She hugged Jesse as he stood silently before her. “Maddie’s at the creek.”

Then she walked away. Jesse glanced down at the granite markers. “You had no right, Charles, no right to marry her, hoping she’d marry me.” He shoved a hand into a pocket. “But I’m damn glad you did.”

With twilight easing in around him, Jesse walked toward the creek. He pulled a leaf from a tree and proceeded to shred it. He knew what he felt in his heart, thought he knew what Maddie felt in hers, but she’d never spoken the words. They hadn’t been his to receive even if she’d wanted to say them aloud.

He came to the creek bank and saw her just as he knew she would be: sitting down, gazing out upon the slowly moving water … alone. He knew that feeling, had felt it for much of his life. And he knew what it felt like to look across a room, catch and hold her gaze, and tell her a thousand things without ever saying a word.

She didn’t move as he sat beside her. He wished he’d gathered more leaves to shred. He sighed, unsure of the best way to approach the subject. Here he was, once again doing something without thinking it through. He sure as hell hoped Charles was happy. “Cassie wants to take the children to Galveston for a couple of weeks.”

She glanced at him and smiled. “Oh, they’d enjoy that.”

He rubbed his chin. “Yeah, I reckon they would.” He shifted his body and reached into his pocket. “Know what this is?”

Maddie took the ring and held it up to the dimming sunlight. “A ring.”

“Our mother’s ring. Charles made me promise that the man who loves you would put that ring on your finger when he married you.”

She furrowed her brows and studied his face. “What?”

He cleared his throat as gently as he could. “Thought I’d do it Saturday.”

“Thought you’d do what on Saturday?”

“Put the ring on your finger.”

“This Saturday?”

“I know we haven’t mourned a year, but if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that you never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. Maddie, I’m as old as my father was when he died. And Charles … he was younger. I just figured while we’re both young and healthy, we ought to do it. It’s what Charles would have wanted.”

“You’re going to marry me because it’s what Charles wanted?” she asked, a slight accent punctuating her words.

“No, I’m going to put that ring on your finger because it’s what he wanted.” He cradled her face between his strong hands. “I’m going to marry you because I love you.” Doubt surfaced within his eyes. “That is, if you want to marry me. Do you?”

She placed her hands over his and gave him a smile that told him long before she spoke what her answer would be. “Oh, yes.”

Jesse rolled his shoulders, feeling the weight of the jacket surrounding him. Sticking his finger between the knot on his cravat and his throat, he wiggled it around until he could breathe again. With disgust, he looked at the reflection of the man sitting in the chair behind him. He had a strong urge to knock that smile right off his face.

“I look like a dandy dressed like this. Hell, I look like you!”

“Then your bride should be very pleased,” Paul said.

“I don’t know why we have to be so formal about this wedding. It’s not like she hasn’t been married before.”

Paul stood. “I’d think that alone would be enough reason to see that today is special for Maddie.”

Jesse once again adjusted his clothing.

“Not nervous, are you?” Paul asked.

“Hell no, I’m not nervous.”

“Shall we go downstairs then?”

“This doesn’t look right,” Jesse said as he began rearranging the cravat.

“It did before you started messing with it.” Paul brushed Jesse’s hands aside and set about straightening the tie.

“Make sure it’s right.”

Paul heaved a weary sigh. “It was right the other three times I did it. It’d stay right if you’d keep your clumsy hands off it.” He stepped back. “There. Don’t even look in the mirror. Just take my word for it. It’s perfect. Let’s get downstairs before you mess it up again.”

Ignoring Paul’s admonishment, Jesse took a last glance at his reflection in the mirror. He sure as hell hoped she appreciated all the trouble he was going to on her behalf. “All right, let’s go.”

He stepped out into the hallway. Cassie released a sound of joy, rushed over to him, and hugged him closely. “Don’t you look handsome?”

He glanced around the hallway. “Where’s Maddie?”

“She’ll go downstairs in a little while.”

“Why can’t we go down the stairs together?”

“Because this is her day, and a bride should have an entrance.”

“Why does she need an entrance? It’s just us, the children, and a nice, quiet ceremony.”

Smiling, Cassie tilted her face up. “She had a nice, quiet ceremony when she married Charles. I wanted today to be special.”

“Afraid to go downstairs by yourself?” Paul asked. Jesse jerked his head around and glowered at the irritating man. “No, I’m not afraid.”

“Then let’s go.”

Jesse trudged toward the stairs. “Hurry Maddie along, would you?” He looked over his shoulder. “And see that she wears her hair down.”

“What?” Cassie asked, her eyes and mouth equally round. “I just spent two hours pinning it up.”

“Then unpin it. I’ve never seen her hair down in the daylight. If you want her to make an entrance, I’m sure she’ll make one hell of an entrance with her hair down.” He rolled his shoulders one last time and began walking down the stairs.

“’Bout time the groom showed up!” McGuire yelled as he leaned against the banister at the foot of the stairs.

Jesse stopped halfway down the stairs and stared at the owner of the general store. He’d recently removed every outdated wanted poster from McGuire’s wall. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Told you before, man, you can’t go off getting married in private.”

Jesse felt the trepidation shoot through him like a well-aimed arrow to his gut. He tread down the stairs more cautiously until he could peer into the parlor. All he could see were the backs of heads, the backs of a lot of heads. He stepped down into the foyer, spun around, and sent an accusing glance back up at his brother-in-law. Paul smiled.

“Don’t you dare say it,” Jesse warned.

“Why not? It’s so much fun to say.” Paul’s smile increased. “Surprise!” Chuckling, he trotted back up the stairs. “I’ll fetch the bride!”

McGuire put his hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “We just wanted you to know we all approve.”

“It was just supposed to be a nice, quiet ceremony.”

“Well, we’ll keep it quiet if that’s what you want, but we did bring a fiddle player.” He winked. “I plan on asking the widow Parker to dance. You wouldn’t want to deny me the pleasure, would you? Now that I know you’re not after her yourself.”

“After her myself?”

“Hell yes, man. You were dancing with her so much I figured you were sweet on her.” “I was never sweet on her.”

McGuire slapped his shoulder. “Then come on, man. Let’s get this wedding under way.”

Shaking hands and greeting guests as he went, Jesse walked through the parlor until he was standing before the hearth. He shook the minister’s hand, then glanced at his best man.

“You nervous, Uncle Jesse?” Aaron whispered.

“Yep. You?”

Aaron nodded.

Jesse placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. “You’ll do fine.” He smiled at Hannah and Taylor, dressed in finery, standing on the other side of the minister.

Hannah cupped her hands around her mouth. “You’ll be glad, Uncle Jesse.”

His smile growing warmer, he nodded. Then he turned around and looked out the open parlor doors toward the stairs.

Maddie looked once again at her reflection in the mirror and shook her head. “Cassie, I can’t wear Alice’s wedding gown.”

“Why not?” Cassie asked as she adjusted the train flowing down the back of the ivory gown.

“Because she and Charles shared something special—” “And you and Jesse don’t?”

Maddie studied her trembling hands. “He deserves better than me.”

“That’s for him to decide.”

She lifted her gaze to Cassie’s. “Is it?”

Cassie nodded. “And I’d say he’s already decided.”

“I want to be good for him, to make him happy.”

“Then marry him and give him a day and a night like none he’s ever had.” She hugged Maddie closely. “Now, come on. You have one nervous man waiting for you.”

Jesse watched Cassie scurry down the stairs and sit on a chair in the front row of gathered people. Catching his eye, she smiled innocently. She was damn lucky the room was filled with people, or he would have throttled her right then and there. They were going to have a long talk when this was over. She was picking up all her husband’s bad habits.

He glanced back toward the stairs, and suddenly he didn’t care if the whole state of Texas was sitting in the parlor. Maddie, with her honeyed hair cascading around her, was more beautiful than he’d ever imagined. And she was about to become his.

Her eyes sought and held his, and he felt as though everything had narrowed back down to the only people that mattered. She walked through the room, her arm linked with Paul’s. People stood as she passed, and suddenly Jesse was damn glad they were all here, damn glad that she’d had this moment, would always know that their marriage had been blessed by the good wishes of friends.

With tears brimming in her eyes, she came to stand before him. The minister cleared his throat. “And who gives this woman to this man?”

“Charles does,” Paul said. He squeezed Maddie’s hand, then stepped back, and relinquished her into Jesse’s keeping.

Jesse didn’t care that she was supposed to slip her arm through his and stand by his side. It wasn’t enough, not enough for what he was feeling, not enough for all that he saw reflected in her eyes. He took her hand, gently pulled her against him, and slipped his other arm behind her back, holding her close, the way he intended to hold her for the rest of his life.

Maddie tilted her face toward him, looking deeply into his eyes, falling into the obsidian depths, knowing he’d always catch her. She heard the minister’s words of love and marriage. She listened to the deep timbre of Jesse’s voice as he gave her his vows. Then she recited her own vows, wishing she could tell him that they were so different, so beautifully different from the ones she’d exchanged with Charles. But gazing into his eyes as he slipped his mother’s ring onto her finger, she knew that he knew.

Then he lowered his mouth to hers, bestowing upon her a sweet kiss filled with the promise of passion.

When he lifted his lips from hers, the children surrounded them, each wanting their own hugs. Then Cassie, with tears in her eyes, and Paul hugged them.

The guests left their chairs and came forward to express their happiness for the couple.

Maddie didn’t hear people drag the chairs out of the way, but she did hear the lilting strains of the violin. Smiling, Jesse took her into his arms and waltzed her across the floor. They danced alone, surrounded by family and friends, until the music faded away. Then another tune began, and other couples joined them on the floor.