Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight (17 page)

But this Westernized practice doesn't involve statues of the Buddha. You don't chant. You don't spend years seeking enlightenment in a monastery. You can practice mindfulness wearing your regular clothes in your bedroom, in your backyard, in your car, or while you're walking.

Mindfulness meditation is for people with any religious belief, and for people with
no
religious belief. Despite its origins, it is in itself a nonreligious activity. In that regard, it's akin to yoga, which gives you a good stretch no matter your beliefs.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School in 1979, has defined mindfulness as “the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.”

This seems like a simple idea, but improving your mindfulness is not necessarily easy. Most of us haven't been raised to be mindful, and modern life certainly doesn't encourage it.

Let's examine Dr. Kabat-Zinn's definition a little more closely. Mindfulness simply involves:

Observing what's going on right now.
When you're mindful, you're aware of the thoughts going through your mind, the sensations in your body, and the happenings in the world around you at this moment. You're aware of where you are and what you're doing.

Making these observations with more tolerance.
You notice these things without wanting to change them or complain about them. The day may be hot . . . but you're okay with it. The teenagers next to you at the stoplight are
blasting their music . . . but you realize that you won't be hearing it for long. An unpleasant memory pops into your head . . . but it doesn't bring you down. These things merely are what they are.

Living in the real world, not the world your mind creates.
When you're replaying an argument with a relative, you're living in your mind. You're not living in the real world. The same is true when you spend a day in dread while you wait for a call from your doctor. You're also engaged in your mind—not living in the real world—when you're displeased with how an event is unfolding because it doesn't match your preferences.

Most of us confuse our preferences, biases, and fears with the real world. They're not. And it's this confusion that causes major problems. For example, two people might face the same stressful situation. One person grows physically sick from worrying about it. The other remains calm and untouched until it's over. Or, more to the point of this book, one person might look at a tattered old shirt and see it for what it is: an unusable object that has no reason to be in the closet. Another might cling to it just because he wore it to a party on the last night of high school 20 years ago.

Mindfulness keeps you centered and aware. It helps you be present and focused. It keeps you firmly rooted in your life and living in the real world. I believe it also helps you to have an uncluttered home and a happier, more organized life.

Understanding the Present Moment

Can you think of any particular moments in your life when you were especially aware of what was going on around you? Maybe:

You were floating on a raft on a slowly moving river when you were 12, and as you smelled the trees and felt the warm sun on your face, you were completely happy.

The phone rang with the job offer that would send your career in a wonderful new direction, and you remember every word of the conversation.

You saw your child's face for the first time, and you knew you would never forget that instant in time.

Can you think of any moments from your own life when you were fully aware of what was happening? Jot down your thoughts.

Our lives may take place over decades. But they're made of one long string of present moments like these. Of course, not all of these moments are this memorable, nor do they have to be. But they're all equally
real
. You're having a present moment right now. Now you're having another one.

This can be a challenging concept if you've not heard it before. We're taught to think about what will happen tomorrow or what plans we need to make for next week. The idea that our time is made up of individual moments, that we live our life from one moment to the next, can take some thinking about. The present moment, the
now
as it's often called, is all that we have. The rest is either past or yet to come—neither of which we have any control over.

The present moment is when
everything
in your life happens. It's the only real time you ever have. But we miss too many of these moments. Instead, we're rolling over some old hurt in our mind. We're missing someone who's gone from our lives. We're reliving a past event. And the past is gone. It's not real.

Or we're worried that we're going to lose our job. We're fretting about our health and imagining the worst. We're analyzing evidence and building a case for a catastrophe that will surely happen. At these times, our minds are in the future. The future hasn't happened. It's not real.

Or we're daydreaming that we're a superhero. Or we're caught up in the sheer unending noise of our mind as it chatters and bounces around like a monkey, zipping from one topic to another. Our mental noise isn't real, either.

In these moments, you might be making yet another decision that affects your weight or your home, and you choose poorly because you aren't really paying attention to the real world around you.

Do you wonder
why
you became overweight or
when
your home became unlivable? I'd guess it happened because you weren't paying attention when you ate those snacks or when you made those purchases. It happened while your mind was elsewhere.

I'm not a religious guy. I'm not New Agey. I'm as practical and no-nonsense of a person as you'll find, whether in my own life or when I'm offering advice to others. I promote swift, efficient changes that actually work. But I'm here to tell you that if you're fat, unhappy, and cluttered, mindfulness can help you move toward a lower weight, a happier outlook, and a more pleasant home. I've seen life-altering changes brought about by a more mindful approach to life. Mindfulness helps create the permanent positive changes that so many people desire.

Now, mindfulness isn't a cure-all. It's not magic. It's not a contest that you can “win.” There is no specific end to it. The more you learn about it, the more you find there is to it.

I'm not asking you to devote your life to mindfulness. But for the next 6 weeks, all I ask is that you give it a try. Because when it comes to your home, your body, your emotions, and your self-image, a little bit of mindfulness can lead to big improvements.

Getting Started

In
Fully Present,
authors Susan L. Smalley, PhD, and Diana Winston—mindfulness educators at UCLA—offer these suggestions to newcomers on how to begin a mindfulness practice.

Focus on your breathing.
During mindfulness meditation, simply focus your mind on an “anchor” rather than letting it float adrift on the roiling stream of noisy thoughts that flow through your consciousness.

It's actually more difficult to do than you might imagine. (It's like playing the game where you try
not
to think of a pink elephant. As soon as you try not to do it, your mind will post a picture of a pink elephant and refuse to let it go.)

Mindfulness experts often suggest that you anchor your focus on your breathing. Our ancient ancestors around the world associated our breath with life itself. Breathing is also closely linked to the present moment, since both pass at a constant stream. Both your present moment and your current breath replaced the previous one. New ones then replace them. And both occur largely without your awareness. By focusing on your breath, you can become more aware of the present moment.

Start small.
Trying to sit for a long session at the beginning can be tiring and discouraging (also, you're going to have plenty of other stuff to do during your 6-week program). So keep your first sessions short, like 5 to 10 minutes.

Find a comfortable, nondistracting spot.
Sit somewhere that allows you to relax. Your surroundings should be relatively quiet, and no one should be trying to get your attention. Find a place that's comfortable, but not so comfortable that you'll get sleepy. Sit on the floor, on a cushion, or in a firm chair. Meditate with your eyes closed, or open and fixed on an object that won't distract you (
not
the TV).

That's pretty much what you need to start. Simply sit and feel your breath move in and out of your body, noticing the rise and fall of your abdomen or chest, or the sensations of the air moving through your nostrils. Just let your breath come as it will, without trying to hold it or speed it up.

If a thought pops into your head, distracting you from your breathing—and trust me, it will—turn your mind away from the thought and back to your breath. The distracting thought is like a buzzing fly. It will go away. Another will take its place,
begging for your attention. Turn your focus back to your breathing and that thought will pass, too.