Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight (4 page)

Make you feel sick to your stomach

Throw off your mental focus

Hurt your heart

Make you feel more anxious or depressed

Contribute to weight gain

A cluttered house isn't a good enough reason to do this to your body and your mind.

After many visits to messy homes, I've come to realize that clutter is a customary part of most families' lives and that many families have given up on
trying to keep it under control. I've also learned that the accumulation of too much stuff in people's homes has more serious and negative effects on their lives than they realize. Clutter has:

A financial impact:
Take, for example, the father who traveled constantly for work. He was wracked with guilt because he rarely spent time with his children, so he bought them toys to make up for his absence. When I started working with the family, all their credit cards were maxed out and the huge plastic containers of untouched toys that filled their garage had long ago begun to spill out into their yard.

An emotional impact:
I met a mother who became obsessed with collecting plastic action figures and other memorabilia from a national restaurant franchise. Her 8- and 12-year-old daughters had never shared a family meal at the kitchen table because it was so cluttered with this stuff that they couldn't even see it.

A social impact:
A young mother couldn't say no to the offers of hand-me-down clothes from her family and friends. Once she had the clothes, she felt too guilty to part with them. With three children under the age of 6, her home was so packed with kids' clothing that she felt too embarrassed to have anyone in for a visit. She became increasingly isolated and depressed.

A relationship impact:
A couple collected “gifts” for family and friends, but never actually gave them away. Their surroundings were so cluttered that their grandchildren had never even visited their home.

While many of the homes I visit are much, much worse than the homes in Jeanne Arnold's book, in all of them I find families that are stressed, less happy than they could be, and unable to live the kind of lives they'd like. They're drowning in too much stuff. When we talk about their surroundings, without exception these conversations dredge up powerful emotions like guilt, loss, regret, betrayal, worry, and anger.

If your house is an overstuffed mess, I've learned that more often than not, it's a warning sign that you have some type of trouble—large or small—in your mental and emotional well-being. In turn, a chaotic home that leaves little room for you and the other people inside can threaten your mental and physical health.

Stuff that overfills a home is usually a symptom of some deeper, more significant issue that has not been addressed by an individual or the family. It's easy to be distracted by the stuff—but the real issue is never the stuff itself. As I often tell people, it's not about the clutter.

My work is based largely around one simple yet powerful premise that I know to be true: You can't make your best choices, your healthiest choices,
your most life-affirming choices in a cluttered, messy, disorganized house. You can argue with me as much as you want, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that it just doesn't happen.

If you were to invite me into your home, and I were to see that it's packed full of objects that you don't truly need, use, or want—but can't get rid of—I would be concerned that:

Your mind isn't as happy, relaxed, and focused as it could be.

You are feeling overwhelmed by your possessions and unable to get them under control.

Your weight is likely higher than you would like it to be.

Your relationships with your spouse, kids, and other loved ones in your home aren't as strong as they could be.

The stuff you own has become more important than your and your family's well-being.

You simply don't know where to start making a change.