Loss, a paranormal thriller

LOSS

by

Glen Krisch

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LOSS

Chapter 1

With the view outside the Honda Pilot looking like a winter wonderland, and just minutes before her world would be irreparably upended, Angie couldn't help smiling. 

I'm going to do it!
she thought. 
I'll tell Paul tomorrow morning that it's game on.  What he wants isn't a bad thing.  Not at all; it's a blessing!

"Angel..." Paul muttered from the passenger seat.  His cheek rested against the cold side window as she drove, his warm, drunken breath steaming the glass.  "Love my Angel..." 

Fresh snow swirled across the road, obscuring the yellow center line.  The road wound through the hills descending from Bryce's home, cutting a path through the dense woods on either side.  Knuckle-white, Angie strained to keep the Honda Pilot straddling the yellow line while she watched for oncoming headlamps.  She would freely admit to not being the best nighttime driver, but before the party she'd given Paul permission to enjoy himself.  She would see them home safely.

"What'd I do without you?" he mumbled to the Pilot's closed-in air. 

She couldn't see his face but knew he was drifting off.  She smiled, despite his drunkenness, despite their earlier argument.

It had been her fault, she realized.  Her mood had cooled in reluctant but steadying degrees as she drove the country roads.  She'd been unreasonable.  Short tempered.  Worst of all, she'd embarrassed Paul in front of his family.  Her face burned with shame at remembering the hurt he'd tried to hide, but which he couldn't quite get a hold.  It wasn't like he'd sprung anything on her from out of the blue.  They'd talked about it countless times. 

They both wanted the same things.  Kids and a big yard and family vacations.  While she'd dreamed of having children since her own childhood, she couldn't imagine adopting.  The whole concept frightened her.  She couldn't imagine taking in someone else's child, caring for it as if it were her own.  Could she love a child that didn't grow inside her?  Sure she could.  But would it be the same?  Would it come close to approaching the maternal bond?  Whenever she considered Paul's solution to their fertility issues, she always found the same honest answer.  A simple, emphatic no.

The party began innocuously enough.  The family had gathered at Bryce's home to celebrate the opening of Chandler's Antique Emporium.  Imogene, the matriarch of the family, would run the store, a place for high-end, hard-to-find antiques.  Angie had mixed feelings about the store.  Sure, Grand View was in need of such a business, and her sons would help track down merchandise through their business, Chandler's Salvage and Restoration.  Since Paul proposed three years earlier, Angie had worked in the office of the brothers' business, fielding phone calls and filing paperwork, eventually taking on the responsibility of balancing their books.  Imogene had done these duties from the inception of the business fifteen years earlier.  So her mother-in-law had felt threatened, as if her sons were putting her out to pasture.  Needless to say, her relationship with Imogene had never been a smooth proposition.  She hoped opening the store would repair the damage to their relationship, or at least deflect the passive attacks her mother-in-law subjected her to.

Besides a father she hadn't spoken to in five years, Angie didn't have a family of her own.  She'd grown to love Paul's, warts and all.  She wondered if they would've had such a bad fight if it weren't for the Chandlers.  Blonde and glowing, decked out like a snow bunny, Paul's sister-in-law, Lindsey, surprised everyone at the party by announcing her own pregnancy.  The news floored even her husband, Fletcher.  Tears streamed down his cheeks, but he didn't care.  He'd swept her into his arms, kissing her on the mouth. 

Bryce, Paul's oldest brother, had been the first to clap Fletcher on the back and kiss Lindsey's cheek.  Bryce's wife, Stephanie, had taken her by the hands and they proceeded to jump up and down with schoolgirl excitement.

After Angie's congratulations, she noticed Paul looking at Imogene, who remained sitting in a plush recliner.  She was rocking slightly, her hands folded in her lap, smiling as wide as could be.  Apprising.

Angie didn't like the look in his eye.  She could tell something was lurking just beneath the surface, waiting to bubble over.  She didn't know what it was, but knew she didn't want him to speak of it, especially to his mother.

Paul, why'd you have to say it?
she thought, bringing the Pilot safely through a long snowy curve. 
Not everything with your brothers has to be a competition.

But it was, like it or not.  Four grown men, working in the family business together, sharing holidays and weekends, extending their families to include wives and children.  Like it or not, Stephanie and Lindsey were her friends as well as sisters-in-law, and if things should continue with baby brother Nathan and his girlfriend, Macy would soon become a defacto friend for life.

When the well-wishing had quieted, Paul, still looking down at his mother, said, "We have good news, too.  We're adopting!"

Thinking back on it, remembering the hope in his eyes, Angie's anger began to resurface.

You can't change him
, Angie thought. 
He's a grown man.

Sure, but a grown man acting like a child.

At hearing Paul's announcement, Imogene had stood, a quizzical smile pulling her features taut.  "Why, Angeline, really?" she had said, sounding like she'd just heard the most absurd news.

In that instant, seeing her mother-in-law's reaction, she knew the most intimate level of privacy in her marriage had been violated. 

"We've talked about it," she'd said before the room could once again overflow with congratulations.  "But nothing is definite."  She felt her anger building.  She stared at Imogene until the stalwart old matriarch looked away, then Angie's eyes found Paul.  He was looking at his mother, crushed.  "Paul, can I have a word with you?" Angie asked.

The room was quiet.  Angie didn't have the nerve to look anywhere else but Paul's face, even though his expression was hard for her to bear. 

"Paul?"

But he didn't move.  His posture straightened, looking less a boy appeasing his mother than a man ready for a fight.  "Angie, I thought we were in agreement."  He uncrossed his arms, reached for his wineglass and drained it.

"Paul, not
now
."

Paul was keen for a fight, but his mother cleared her throat.  He looked at her, and seeing her smile gone, replaced by a thrumming anger, he backed off.  "Anyone else want a refill?  Fletch, here give me that.  It's time to celebrate."

Fletcher handed Paul his empty wineglass, and as he poured, Bryce and Stephanie stepped forward also.

Imogene sighed in relief, but it wasn't relief Angie felt.  It was rage.  Rage for such a public display of... of disharmony.  Rage at Paul for his unflagging devotion to his mother.  He'd told her everything.  From their fertility issues to their arguments over adoption, to who knew what.

Tears formed in her eyes.  Before they could fall, she set down her wineglass, still half-full, and stormed from the room.  She hurried down the short hall to the first floor bathroom.  She held off the tears until the door was closed and the overhead fan might dull the sound, then she let them fall.  She cried for a solid five minutes, not caring what she was doing to her makeup.  Then, as her raw emotions began to soften, she had the sudden feeling of being trapped.  She would have to leave the bathroom sometime, right?

She used a wad of toilet paper to dab her eyes.  Luckily, her makeup was hanging in there, but her eyelids looked swollen.  She looked like she imagined an abused wife would look.  Frayed at the edges and with a defeated look that just wouldn't go away. God, had she overreacted, or what?  They'd had a disagreement, that's it, nothing more.  Their marriage wasn't broken.  They'd work this out.  Paul was a good man.  A man who simply wanted a family, and have it with
her
.  She should feel lucky.

Why couldn't she get over her mental barrier of adoption?  Was she being selfish?

Someone knocked on the door.

"Yes?"  It bothered her how weak her voice sounded.

"Angie, are you okay?"

"Oh, Linz... I'm fine.  Just don't like to air my dirty laundry in public."

"It wasn't that bad."  There was silence, then her sister-in-law said, "Angie, can you open up?"

She didn't know why she shouldn't.  She wasn't mad at Lindsey.  It was hard to ever be mad at Lindsey. 

Angie opened the door and stepped back, looking away.  She didn't want anyone to see her like this.  "I'm sorry I ruined your news.  I'm truly excited for you."

"Thanks, Ang, but you didn't ruin a thing."  Lindsey put an arm around her, hugged her.  Lindsey was always hugging, always emotionally forthright.  If Angie had ever sensed insincerity from her, she would have hated her for it.  But she hadn't, not even a hint of it, and Lindsey's openness endeared herself to Angie even more. 

"Kinda puts a damper on a party, huh?"

"Don't be silly.  Everyone's moved on.  Everyone's happy.  Just a little misunderstanding is all."

"There's nothing to misunderstand.  Paul shouldn't have said anything.  I don't want to adopt.  He does.  He just can't see my side of things."

"Wait--"  Lindsey held her at arm's length, smiling.  "You mean, men can be pigheaded?"

They both laughed.  Angie could feel the tension easing from her face.  This time, Angie hugged first.  So close, her voice barely a whisper, "Thank you, sis.  I needed this."  She had never thought of Lindsey as anything more than an extension of Paul and his family, but now for the first time she felt a sisterly bond with her.  It was a nice feeling, especially since Angie was an only child.  "If you hadn't come to get me, I don't think I'd ever have left the bathroom."

"Come on.  Let's go party."

"Okay."  Angie checked her face in the mirror.  In the right light, you wouldn't know how upset she had been.  If you didn't know any better, she might even appear flushed with happiness.

Lindsey exited first, and Angie followed closely behind, using her as a shield.  They shared a smile, then split off to join their spouses.  Glass from floor to vaulted ceiling, the great room's far wall overlooked the snow-mantled forest beyond.  Bryce and Stephanie's property bordered Grand View State Park.  Their girls, Anna and Opal, were still too young to venture from their home, but once they were old enough, they would have the vast woods as their playground.  When Angie thought about it, she was envious.  The Chandler brothers had built Bryce's home ten years ago, each adding his own expertise to the project.  With its dark wood details, wrought-iron light fixtures and imposing stone fireplace, the home had the air of an old ski lodge.  Bryce designed the home himself, and the layout of the great room had particular significance for the brothers.  It represented the ideal gathering place for family.  The fireplace washed the room in a heady warmth and golden light and the soft leather sofas invited conversation, and the bar... well the bar aided the other features to the fullest. 

She found she didn't need any shielding by Lindsey.  As the wine flowed, everyone's moods elevated with it.  They were here to celebrate.  A new business venture.  A new addition to the family.  She found Paul looking out the window, watching the steady flurry of snow.  He must have seen her reflection in the glass.  When he turned toward her, he offered a sheepish smile.

She put her arm around him, joining him in the view.  She could feel him relax, as if a weight had lifted from his shoulders.  Though it was fairly early, she could hear the alcohol in his voice: "Love you, Angel."

"Love you too, lunkhead."

He pretended to look hurt, but only for a second.  "Can I get you a refill?" he said, holding up his empty-again glass.

"I shouldn't.  It's starting to snow."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No.  I'm fine."

"Are
we
fine?"

"Yeah, we're fine.  Just need a talk, is all.  Later."

"Okay."

"Can you get me a glass of the sparkling grapefruit juice that Lindsey's having?"

After Paul left to get her drink, the baby of the family, Nathan, and his girlfriend Macy, finally arrived.

Everyone swept them in, happy and drunk, but then again, it appeared that Nathan and Macy were also.

Someone in the group announced Lindsey and Fletcher's big news, and Nathan started hooting like he did during a big football game on TV.  Nathan had a wild sweep of brown hair.  He was skinny, almost frail-looking, but his voice was deep, and when he was excited, it was
big
.  Macy stood back, laughing at her boyfriend, halfway embarrassed, halfway pleased.  She was mousy looking: short hair dyed black and shaggy over the ears, her eyeglasses had purposely thick tortoise shell frames.  She looked brainy, but it was fitting, because she
was
brainy.  Double major in Art History and Etymology.  She was also unabashedly infatuated with Nathan.  During the two years of their relationship, she had appeared more and more at family get-togethers.  Now she was a fixture at his side.  While they hadn't spoken in much depth, Angie thought she would make a nice addition to the family.