Lost Angel (33 page)

‘What are you all ponced up for?’ his dad sneered when he walked into the living room at quarter to seven to get his jacket.

‘I’m not,’ Ryan muttered, secretly wondering if he might have gone a bit overboard. His G-star jeans and Adidas trainers were brand new and he already felt a bit uncomfortable, because he didn’t want Angel to think that he was the kind of guy who cared more about his own appearance than hers. And his Versace T-shirt looked mint. But she had money, so what if she sussed that it was a fake?

But it was too late to change now.

‘You look lovely,’ Zeta said quietly as he passed her in the hallway on his way out. ‘Really handsome.’

‘Cheers, mam.’ He smiled. ‘See you later.’

Angel was nowhere in sight when Ryan reached the corner where they had arranged to meet. The palms of his hands felt clammy, and he caught himself whistling through his teeth – a sure sign that he was nervous. He lit a cigarette and leaned back against the wall.

She’s changed her mind
, the voice in his head piped up.
She only agreed to go out with you to shut you up. She never really intended to go through with it. You’re not good enough – you know it, and so does she
.

‘Sorry I’m late,’ Angel apologised when she walked around the corner a couple of minutes later.

Ryan straightened up when he saw her. ‘Wow, you look fantastic.’

Self-conscious, because she hadn’t quite mastered the heels yet and was terrified of falling flat on her face, Angel smiled shyly. ‘Thanks.’

‘Ready to get going?’ He flicked the cigarette away.

‘I can’t,’ she admitted. ‘Not because I don’t want to,’ she added quickly. ‘It’s just that my mum’s in hospital, and I’m staying at my aunt’s, and she doesn’t really want me to go out for too long in case my dad rings.’

Ryan was disappointed, but he tried not to show it. It was only what he’d been expecting, after all. He just hadn’t expected her to come and tell him in person. He’d thought that she would just not bother turning up.

‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘Hope it’s nothing serious with your mum?’

Touched that he’d asked, Angel said, ‘My dad hasn’t really said much, but he reckoned she looked a bit better when he went to visit her earlier.’

‘That’s good,’ said Ryan. Then, ‘Right, well, I’ll get going, leave you to get back to your aunt.’

‘Actually, she was wondering if you’d like to come for a brew?’ Angel asked. ‘It’s only round the corner, and she’d really like to meet you.’

‘Yeah?’ Ryan gave her a disbelieving look. Most of the white girls he’d been out with hadn’t been too keen on taking him home to meet the folks.

Which reminded him of something that had been niggling him.

‘What about your dad? Only, I’ve been thinking, I probably should have asked him if it was all right to take you out before I went ahead and asked you.’

‘No, don’t do that,’ Angel blurted out. ‘He, er, doesn’t actually know I’ve seen you since that day at the yard.’

‘Oh, right.’ Ryan read between the lines and guessed that she didn’t think her dad would approve. ‘Maybe we’d best just leave it, then?’

‘Okay,’ Angel murmured, disappointment threatening to bring tears to her eyes. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘Course it’s not,’ Ryan told her. ‘I just don’t want to cause any trouble. I like you, Angel. I mean, like,
really
like you.’

‘I like you, too,’ she admitted, her voice little more than a whisper.

Ryan’s stomach flipped, and he inhaled deeply. No other girl had ever had this effect on him. Angel had been on his mind ever since their eyes had met through the office window back at the yard, and he’d been dying to see her again. She was so pretty, and sweet, and he wanted to stroke her hair and hold her and kiss her.

Angel was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. There was fear in her eyes. When Ryan saw it and realised that she was even more scared than he was he cupped her face in his hand and kissed her gently.

‘Sorry,’ he muttered, pulling away after a moment. ‘I shouldn’t have done that.’

‘I liked it,’ she gasped, her heart thudding in her chest.

‘Me, too, but—’

Angel raised up onto her tiptoes and kissed him again to shut him up. Lost in the moment, Ryan pulled her into his arms and held her close.

Lisa came around the corner and stopped in her tracks when she saw them.

‘Oi!’ she hissed. ‘What d’ya think you’re playing at, you idiots?’

Ryan jerked back with a guilty look on his face. Christ, I’m sorry . . . it was totally my fault.’

Lisa looked him up and down, and then turned to Angel, her eyebrows raised in approval. ‘I see what you meant.’

Angel gave her a pleading look, begging her not to say anything else. But Lisa hadn’t come to embarrass her or tell them off; she’d come to see what was keeping them, because the longer they stood on the street the more chance there was of Johnny driving around the corner and catching them. At least if they were in the house she could get the boy out of the back door if Johnny turned up, so he’d be none the wiser.

‘You don’t have to worry about me,’ she assured Ryan. ‘But it’s not exactly smart to snog in the middle of the street if you’re trying to stay undercover.’

‘Sorry,’ Ryan said again. ‘I’ll go.’

Lisa saw the look of despair on Angel’s face, and said, ‘You bloody won’t. I’ve been waiting half an hour to meet you, and I got a cake out and everything. And there’s no way me and her can eat it all, so you’d better just get moving.’

‘Leave him,’ Angel said quietly. ‘Let him go if he wants to.’

‘He doesn’t,’ Lisa said knowingly. ‘He just thinks he should. Am I right, Ryan?’

‘I, er, guess so.’ He shrugged.

‘See?’ Lisa smiled at Angel. ‘Now stop messing about and get inside before your dad turns up. Come on . . .’ She summoned Ryan with a jerk of her head.

He looked at Angel to see what she wanted him to do.

‘You don’t have to,’ she said. ‘It’s totally up to you.’

A slow smile lit up Ryan’s face. ‘Suppose I better had,’ he said, reaching for her hand. ‘Don’t want you eating all that cake and getting fat.’

‘He’s lovely,’ Lisa said when Ryan left her house a couple of hours later. ‘I can see why you fell for him.’

‘I haven’t fallen for him,’ Angel lied.

‘Oh, well, you won’t mind if I have a crack at him, then, will you?’ Lisa teased. Laughing when Angel’s face fell, she said, ‘Chill out, babe, he’s about twenty years too young. Anyway, he wouldn’t look twice at an old boot like me when he’s got a gorgeous young thing like you to keep him happy. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you.’

‘Really?’

‘Girl, if he ain’t crazy into you, I’m the queen.’

Angel went to bed happy that night. Lisa was convinced that Ryan really liked her, and she hoped that she was right, because she really liked him – a lot.
More
than a lot, in fact.

Lisa talked Johnny into letting Angel stay for a few more days, and it was the best time of Angel’s entire life. She had always liked Lisa, but the more time they spent together, the closer she felt to her. The age difference seemed to get smaller and smaller, so she now felt more like Lisa’s friend than her niece – or second cousin, as she really was. And it was bliss to wake up in the morning and not have someone nag her the instant she stepped out of her bedroom. Fantastic to eat dinner with another person, instead of sitting on her own in the kitchen. Brilliant to stay up late and watch TV with someone who could limit themselves to a couple of glasses of wine instead of swilling a whole bottle of spirits, and who laughed when she got tipsy, instead of getting argumentative and nasty. And, best of all, she got to spend a lot of time with Ryan.

He had taken to calling round in the early afternoon and staying until he had to go home to get ready for work at night. Which pleased Lisa, because he had turned out to be pretty handy with a screwdriver, so she finally had someone to do all the little ‘man’ jobs that had been building up over the years. And he refused to let her pay him when he fixed something, as if, Angel thought, he already considered himself part of the family.

But as lovely as the dream had been, it came to an abrupt end when her dad came round one morning and told her to get her stuff together.

‘Sorry, darlin’, I know you’ve been enjoying yourself,’ he apologised. ‘But your mum’s insisting she wants to come home, and your nan’s got the place in a right mess, so you’re going to have to sort it out.’

‘Is the hospital all right with her coming home?’ Angel asked. She felt petty even saying it, but she didn’t want to go yet.

‘They reckon she’s healing well,’ Johnny told her. ‘They’ve persuaded her to stay another couple of days, but they think she’ll be okay after that.’

‘Can’t I just come home when she does?’

‘Sorry, love, but it’s going to take that long to get the place clean. And I’ve got some meetings this morning, so I need to get moving. Go get your stuff so I can drop you off, eh?’

Angel did as she’d been told, but it pissed her off that it fell to her to clean up her nan’s mess, and she didn’t speak all the way home. She kissed her dad goodbye when they arrived at the house and then she traipsed up the path, carrying her bags.

She was shocked when she let herself into the house. She hadn’t even been gone a full week, but everything was already coated with dust. And her nan had obviously spent the entire time drinking, because there were empty bottles everywhere. And the whole house reeked of urine, which made Angel wonder if her nan had been pissing on the carpets.

But shocked as she was by the mess, she was even more shocked when she saw her nan. The woman had always been skinny but now she was thinner than ever, and there were deep hollows under her dull eyes as if she hadn’t slept a wink all week. But, most worryingly of all, she was still wearing the same dress that she’d been wearing the last time Angel had seen her at the hospital. And it was so dirty that Angel suspected she’d been wearing it the whole time Angel had been gone. In which case, she’d probably been wearing the same underwear as well.

Ashamed of herself for not even having wondered how her nan had been getting on by herself, Angel put her bags in her bedroom and then went from room to room opening all of the windows to air out the house. That done, she got cracking on the cleaning – in the hope that it would distract her from thinking about Ryan. But it didn’t work, and he was all she could think about as she dusted the furniture, hoovered the carpets, scrubbed the ledges and polished the windows.

He was her first-ever boyfriend, but she already knew that she wanted to be with him for ever, so it was killing her not knowing when she would see him again. And she’d left the paper he’d written his number down on in the drawer at Lisa’s, so she couldn’t even call him to tell him that she’d had to come home.

But there was nothing she could do about it right now, so she pushed him firmly out of her mind and tried to concentrate on the house instead.

When the cleaning was done she went into the parlour. Her nan was sitting in her chair with a vacant look in her eyes, and she looked so old and lonely that Angel felt bad all over again for having left her on her own for so long – and for having practically ignored her since she’d come home.

She squatted beside her and said gently, ‘Why don’t I run you a bath, nan? Then you can have a nice soak while I make dinner. And I’ll see if there’s anything on telly for us to watch together later, if you want?’

Rita turned her gaze on her and, for a second, it seemed as if she didn’t know who she was looking at. But the confusion quickly cleared and the old glint of meanness was back.

‘Piss off. I don’t want nowt from you.’

‘I’m only trying to help.’

‘Are you deaf as well as stupid?’

‘Suit yourself.’ Angel sighed and pushed herself back up to her feet.

After dinner, which she ate on her own in the kitchen while her nan ignored the plate she’d taken into the parlour for her, Angel went to bed and cried herself to sleep.

27

It was two a.m. when Ryan and Tommy dropped the pickup car at the garage. They usually shared a cab home but Ryan wanted to be alone tonight, so he decided to walk.

There had been a cloud hanging over him since he’d gone round to Lisa’s the other day only to discover that Angel had gone home, and he’d been wondering when – or even
if
– he was ever going to see her again.

He was still thinking about her as he turned the corner onto Lisa’s street when his gaze was drawn to the headlights of a car turning in at the other end. As it pulled up outside her house, the front door opened and light spilled out onto the pavement. Lisa came out onto the step just as Johnny climbed out of the car, and when he walked up to her she grabbed him by the front of his jacket and kissed him before pulling him inside.

Shocked, Ryan stood and stared at the now closed front door. No way had he just seen that. No way.

When the downstairs light went out and, moments later, the bedroom light came on, he shook his head in disgust and walked back out to the main road. His brain was fried. Johnny was a married man – how could he do something like that? And with Lisa of all people. And how could
she
do it to Angel, when she knew how much the girl adored her dad? It was just plain wrong on so many levels.

Ryan hadn’t intended to go to Angel’s house but that was where he found himself twenty minutes later. He’d never been there before and he felt conspicuous as he walked up the avenue. It was one of those posh neighbourhoods where everyone had a flash motor, and matching net curtains upstairs and down. He doubted that they saw too many black faces around here, so he kept his head down and walked quickly along to Angel’s house.

He stopped at the end of her drive and gazed helplessly up at the windows. He didn’t even know what he was doing here. There was no way he could tell her what he’d just seen, because it would break her heart. And that was if she even believed him – which she probably wouldn’t, because he still didn’t believe it himself.

A noise from across the road shook Ryan out of his thoughts. Scared that he’d been spotted, he ducked into the shadows and made his way down the side of the house into the dark back garden. A light was on at the downstairs window, and he held his breath and edged up to it to peep into the room. The TV was on in the corner, and an old lady who he guessed to be Angel’s nan was sprawled on the couch with her eyes closed and her mouth wide open.