Lost Daughters (34 page)

L
IKE MAUREEN, JAY NO LONGER FELT COMFORTABLE IN HIS OWN
home. Mrs. Freeman was gone, but she was still a very strong presence in the residence. Despite the large wraparound front porch where Jay liked to sit and read his newspaper, the fruit trees in the spacious front yard, and the small statue of an angel peeking from behind a rosebush, his home for the past ten years now felt like a haunted house.

There were sad memories in each room, especially the bedroom that Mrs. Freeman had occupied. Jay had just donated her clothes and bedroom furniture to Goodwill a week ago. She had been the kind of woman who hoarded things that she had collected from yard sales, thrift stores, flea markets, and Goodwill. Over the years she had collected so many useless items, it took Jay a whole month to sort it all out before he could dispose of it. By the time he was done, the only things he had left of the criminal who had claimed to be his mother were a few pictures and the shabby Bible that she had made him study every night after dinner.

The one thing that disturbed Jay the most was her smell. It was still in the house. She had always loved the scent of roses—perfume, lotion, scented candles—and she had even used rose-scented room deodorizer. No matter how often he sprayed every room in the house with a different fragrance, he could not get rid of the smell of roses. After a while, he gave up.

Since he no longer liked to spend too much time in his house, and Maureen didn't like to spend too much time in her apartment, they spent a lot of their time in other places as much as possible. They enjoyed long, lingering dinners in their favorite restaurants. They took long drives along the coast. They even spent an occasional weekend in a beach motel. Anything to avoid his or her residence. However, in spite of all the painful memories that Maureen had to endure in her apartment, she had stopped thinking about moving. There was a lot she still liked about where she lived: the cheap rent, the convenient location, and her nice neighbors. The only thing she didn't like now was that it had been the scene of Mel and Loretta's blatant betrayal.

One day Maureen got slaphappy and scrubbed Loretta's growth chart markings off the kitchen wall. A few minutes after she had done that, she snatched some ugly drawings off the refrigerator of things that Loretta had scribbled in elementary school and ripped them to shreds. She even packed away all of the remaining photo albums that contained pictures of Loretta when she was a toddler. It was hard to believe that the same little girl grinning into the camera with her two front teeth missing and chocolate candy smeared all over her face was the same girl who had turned Maureen's life upside down.

The last thing Maureen expected that Saturday, the second weekend in January, was a marriage proposal from Jay.

After lunch at McDonald's, Jay drove to a section of town that Maureen was not too familiar with. It was the kind of neighborhood that she could only see herself living in in her dreams. The houses were large, three to four bedrooms at least. Each home had a two- or three-car garage, a large front yard, and an even bigger backyard. There were no homeless people in sight, like there was in the neighborhood that Maureen lived in now. Crime was almost nonexistent. Except for the time that a jealous doctor shot and killed his cheating wife ten years ago, the most serious “crimes” that the residents in this neighborhood had to worry about was littering, teenagers behaving badly, or somebody throwing a loud party.

“Why did you drive over here, Jay?” Maureen asked, shading her eyes to look at the large beige stucco house that he had parked in front of. “Do you know somebody out here?”

“Uh-huh. I helped install cable in almost every house on this block, ” Jay replied.

“Oh. Well, do you know who lives in
this
house?” Maureen nodded toward the beautiful house with a hopeful look on her face. Her dream to buy her own home someday was still just a dream, but it was one that she was determined to fulfill.

“I do.” Jay paused and cleared his throat with a loud cough. “I'll be moving in as soon as the bank finalizes my paperwork,” he said with a proud sniff.

Maureen gasped as she whirled around to face Jay. “Oh, baby, I am so happy for you! I know you've been wantin' to move out of Mrs. Freeman's house ever since . . . well, for a long time. A change of scenery will do you a world of good.” She was about to lean over and kiss Jay until he held up his hand, which made her give him a surprised look.

“You think my wife will like it?” he asked.

Maureen's chest tightened and a grimace slid across her burning face. Now she was not only surprised, but she was also scared. She knew that Jay's ex had made one serious attempt to get him back, and it had not worked. Had that gold digger come after him again? Well, if that was the case, that heifer had picked a hell of a time! Maureen was so hopelessly in love with Jay; she knew that if he dropped her now, she would never recover. His “betrayal” would be the final nail in her coffin.

Then she would be alone again.

Suddenly, Maureen thought of every maybe that applied to her situation. Maybe it wasn't meant for her to get too close to anyone anymore. Maybe she was
supposed
to be alone. Maybe she would have been better off if her real mother had raised her. Maybe she would be frivolous and carefree like her mother had been, with men coming out of her ears. Maybe Mama Ruby had been right when she told Maureen that the only person who would never leave her was Mama Ruby herself. Maybe she should visit a pet store and pick out a cat. Maybe she was destined to spend the rest of her life just sitting on a porch with that cat. . . .

“Your wife? Oh . . . well, I hope she'll like it too,” Maureen said, brushing off her jeans and sitting up straighter in her seat. She pressed her lips together and gave Jay a hard look. “I guess I know what this means, Jay.”

“Do you?”

“You want to get back with your ex. Well, I hope things work out for y'all this time.” Maureen snorted and wondered how she was able to look at Jay with a smile on her face. “I'll still be your friend if you want me to—and if your wife won't mind.” She had to blink hard to hold back her tears. She couldn't wait to get home so she could cry like a baby and guzzle alcohol like a thirsty sailor.

Jay laughed long and loud. “Come on, Maureen. You really don't get it, do you.”

“I get it, Jay,” she snapped, her smile gone. Her jaw tightened and every muscle from her neck up began to ache. Why was disappointment so damn painful? She had been hurt and disappointed so many times that she was surprised she wasn't dead by now.

“I want
you
to be my wife, Maureen. I've wanted you to be my wife for a long time. Your divorce from that asshole will be finalized soon. So . . . will you marry me?”

Maureen closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened her eyes again, she looked at Jay like she was seeing him for the first time. Now that she had finally heard the words that she had dreamed of hearing most of her life, from a man she truly loved, she didn't know what to say. “I . . . I . . . never expected you to . . .”

Jay covered her lips with his fingers. “You don't have to tell me right away. You can take all the time you need to think about it.” He laughed some more.

“I didn't know you . . . cared about me like that,” Maureen said, her voice so low Jay had to lean his head closer to her so he could hear her better.

“Well, I do. But after what Mel did to you, I can understand if you don't want to rush into another marriage so soon. I'll wait, but don't make me wait too long, Maureen. I'm tired . . .”

“I'm tired, too, Jay. I would love to marry you!”

He hauled off and kissed her so hard, his shoulder fell against the horn. It blared the entire time his lips were on hers.

“I know that I'm coming to you with a lot of baggage,” Jay said after he released Maureen. “But that's all behind me now.”

“What about my baggage?”

“What your daughter and Mel did was bad, but I think my baggage is much heavier than yours.”

“Yeah, takin' on a new wife is a big step to be takin' when you still have newspeople and greedy relatives comin' at you,” Maureen said, stroking Jay's arm. “Just how do you feel about what happened to you now that some time has passed?”

Jay didn't respond right away. He stared straight ahead for about half a minute before he looked back in Maureen's direction. “I haven't had any nightmares in a while, but not a day goes by that I don't think about what kind of life I might have had if . . . if Mrs. Freeman hadn't run off with me. Anyway, I think marrying a woman like you might help me accept everything a lot easier.”

“Mrs. Freeman was wrong for takin' you, but she deserves credit for the man you turned out to be,” Maureen reminded him. “I know exactly how you must feel. . . .”

Jay gave her a curious look and shook his head. “Thank you for saying that. I know you mean well. I was the victim of an unspeakable crime. Only somebody who has walked in my shoes could know
exactly
how I feel, Maureen. Right?”

“Right,” she agreed.
If he only knew,
Maureen said to herself.

M
AUREEN WANTED TO GET MARRIED NEXT MONTH, IN FEBRUARY. HER
divorce from Mel would be finalized by then. But the main reason she wanted to wait until then was because Big Maureen was having a cluster of polyps removed from the lining of her throat next week and wouldn't be able to travel for at least three weeks. Maureen wanted her big sister to be in attendance when Virgil gave her away to the only man she'd ever loved.

“What a damn shame Lo'retta won't be here to see you get married,” Catty hissed. “That little wench is probably too busy prancin' her high-and-mighty tail around New York tryin' to be Miss Muck-ity Muck. Oomph! If she was my girl, I would lay her out next time I laid eyes on her.”

“Maybe it's a good thing Lo'retta won't be here. That shameless hussy might cast her rovin' eye in Jay's direction,” Fast Black spat.

“Lo'retta didn't like Jay that much, so I seriously doubt she would latch on to him too,” Maureen chuckled. She had decided that the sooner she forgot about Lo'retta, the better. Apparently, Loretta had “forgotten” about her. But it was hard for Maureen to dismiss her only child. She prayed that someday they would at least be friends again.

So when Loretta called the last week in January, Maureen was happy to hear from her.

“How have you been, Mama?” Loretta asked as soon as Maureen picked up the telephone. “I've been prayin' for you. I hope you don't spend your time sittin' around bein' stressed.”

“I'm
too
blessed to be stressed,” Maureen claimed, forcing herself to sound as aloof as possible. “And you? I hope you don't sit around bein' stressed either.”

“You sound real giddy,” Loretta noticed, ignoring Maureen's question about how she was doing. “You drunk?”

“No, I'm not drunk,” Maureen snapped. “I'm giddy because I'm gettin' married again. Probably around February or March.”

“Married?
You
?” Loretta yelled. “To who?”

“Jay.”

“Jay who? I don't know nobody by that name, do I?” Loretta didn't give Maureen enough time to respond. “Wait a minute! Do you mean that kidnapped man that was all over the news last year?”

“Yes. That's the man I'm goin' to marry.”

“What? I thought he was gay! Why else would he wear a
white
suit to my graduation?”

“Jay Freeman is not gay, Lo'retta. He is just as straight as you are, my dear.”

“Hmmm. Well, there's only one way you would know that for sure, Mama. Have you been screwin' that man?”

“Yes, I sleep with Jay and I always enjoy it.” Maureen couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed smirking so much. It felt damn good and she wanted to do it some more, so she did. “So what?”

“I didn't know you still . . .
got busy
. Especially at your age.”

“You mean you didn't think I would ever want to sleep with another man after Mel?

“That was different,” Loretta whined. “Mel had a plan.”

“I know that now. And it included sleepin' with me so he could sleep with you.”

Loretta purposely ignored Maureen's last comment. “Did you do it with Jay before Mel took off?”

“No, I didn't. Jay wanted me to, but I couldn't cheat on my husband. I would never do that, even to a husband like Mel.”

“Then did you sleep with Jay to get back at Mel?”

“Lo'retta, I don't give a flyin' fuck about Mel now. I'm marryin' Jay because he loves me and I love him. We've been in love with each other for a long time.”

“Even before?”

“If you mean before you and Mel, the answer is yes, but I couldn't do a damn thing about it until now.”

“Hmmm. Well, how come you didn't leave Mel and marry Jay? Everybody might have been happier then.”

“If I knew then what I know now, I would have left Mel and married Jay a long time ago.”

“What about me?”

“What about you?”

“If you had left Mel to marry Jay, what would I have done? You knew I didn't like Jay.”

“You had Mel, remember? So you would have done whatever you wanted to do, Lo'retta. Like you always do.” Maureen paused and rubbed her forehead, wondering why Loretta was really calling after so much time had gone by since their last conversation. “How have you been? I take it your abortion was a success.”

“See, that's what I called to talk to you about.”

“Well, talk to me about it.” Maureen was surprised at how firm she was able to make herself sound. She hoped her daughter realized that too. She wanted this ungrateful, inconsiderate child to know that she was still moving forward with her life.

“I didn't go through with it. I'm goin' to have this baby.” From the tone of Loretta's voice, it seemed as though she were revealing that she had a terminal illness.

The words hit Maureen like a ton of bricks. Her lips began to quiver. It took a few moments for her to organize her thoughts and form a response. “Oh?” was all she could manage.

“I really was goin' to abort it, though.”

“Oh? Well, if you don't mind me bein' nosy, what made you change your mind?” Maureen asked, with her heart pounding against her chest like a sledgehammer. Did Loretta change her mind because Maureen's interference had had an impact on her after all?

“I didn't change my mind. See, I was scared so I kept putting it off and I put it off for too long. Dummy me! By the time I'd made up my mind to go through with the abortion, it was too late. Besides, I had miscounted anyway. I was seven weeks farther along than I thought. That's why I got big so fast! I was still havin' my period—up until July—so I had no reason to think I was pregnant.”

Seven
weeks farther along than she thought? So Loretta was already pregnant when she and Mel ran off back in June! The knowledge that her daughter was still living under her roof and was pregnant by her husband opened up a whole new wound for Maureen. This shocking new development was almost more than she could stand. Her chest felt like it was going to explode, and her jaw started twitching so hard it felt like she had been kicked in the face.

“Oh. Well, I still hope everything works out the way you want it to,” Maureen said, her jaw still twitching.

“It will. You know I always get my way. Anyway, a lot of stuff is on my mind these days, Mama.”

Maureen couldn't stop herself from injecting a dose of sarcasm into her response. “Stuff that'll do you some good, I hope.”

“I think it will. I don't want you to think that I'm all bad, see. I know you probably still want to go off on Mel and give me a whuppin', but it sounds like you really have gotten over what we did to you.”

“Not really, and I probably never will, but I have a good life anyway. I'm happy these days. God keeps blessin' me.”

“And you should be blessed! You deserve to be happy too. I mean, you
overpaid
your dues by growin' up with a battle-ax like Mama Ruby for a mama, havin' idiot friends like Catty and Fast Black, and then to end up in that dead-end-ass job at an old folks' home! If anybody deserves to be blessed by God, it's you! You could be the poster girl for the underdogs!”

Maureen was speechless. She remained silent because she couldn't wait to hear what Loretta had to say next.

“Mama, do you still have the contact information for that couple in Canada?” Loretta asked.