Lost & Found (8 page)

Nate’s appointment the next afternoon didn’t go quite how he’d hoped.

When he arrived back at Krissa and Derek’s place, Derek was already there, home early. For once. No wonder they couldn’t get pregnant if Derek was never home. Then shame washed over Nate. There was a medical reason and it had nothing to do with Derek’s work schedule. And…the same could have been said about Nate and his marriage. There’d been many times he’d been away traveling, taking photographs…and somehow his wife had gotten pregnant. His gut clenched painfully.

“So, how’d it go?” Krissa asked immediately. She laid cutlery at one place setting at the table.

He hesitated. She wasn’t going to like what he was about to tell them. Hell, he didn’t like it either, although it probably didn’t affect him as much as it would them.

“Well. We can talk about it after dinner. What is for dinner?” He didn’t feel the least bit hungry, but needed to refocus Krissa. She was going to have one big meltdown, he feared.

“Actually, I ordered Thai food. Hope that’s okay.”

“Mmm, Thai. Great. I’ll go wash up.”

He escaped to his room, stood in front of the mirror, ran his tongue along his teeth. He washed his face and hands. Stood there again. Then straightened his shoulders.

He hadn’t heard the doorbell, but when he arrived in the kitchen Derek was just carrying in bags of food that had been delivered emanating odors of ginger and coconut and lemongrass. His stomach heaved.

Krissa chatted as she set the food on the table and they helped themselves. She’d visited her mother, and from the sounds of it, that hadn’t gone well. Then she’d been busy doing research and starting work on the projects she’d be doing with her new client. Her voice vibrated with excitement as she talked about it and Nate was pleased for her.

Too bad he was about to burst her happy bubble.

When they’d all finished eating, they set their plates aside but stayed at the table.

“So, tell us,” Krissa urged, her water goblet in her hand. She leaned forward, eyes sparkling, the corners of her mouth tipped up appealingly. “What happened?”

Nate glanced at Derek, who lounged back in his chair.

“Well, I learned a lot.”

“Like what?”

“Don’t get excited, Kris,” Nate said quietly. He turned his own glass between his fingers. “This isn’t a fast process.”

Her face fell. “What do you mean?”

“I have to go through a screening process, the same as if I was an anonymous sperm donor.”

“Oh. But…”

“It’s the law,” he said, knowing what she was going to say. “First of all, with a directed donor, they strongly recommend that we get legal advice and also counseling.”

“Counseling?” Her eyes widened.

Nate nodded somberly. “Yeah. When you think of it, there are a whole lot of issues that could come up. Which is why they also recommend getting a lawyer.”

He watched Krissa’s face, the changes as thoughts and emotions ran through her.

“I have to have a complete physical and they have to take blood to test for every disease known to man, I think. They’ll need to take my medical history, and my family’s medical history, and then I have to give a sample for testing. I have to meet the same criteria as anonymous donors, like I said, although it sounds like if I don’t, they still might let us do it. Then they’ll also know how many samples I would need to give. It’s usually two or three, but could be more.” He sighed. Here it came. “The samples have to be frozen and quarantined for at least six months before they can use them.”

Krissa’s mouth rounded and her eyes widened. He glanced at Derek, who blinked and looked at Krissa. “Six months?”

He nodded. “Yup.” He licked his lips. “And at the end of six months, they have to test them again.”

“Oh dear God.” He saw sadness sweep over her. “Six months.” She slumped back in her seat and stared into space. Her bottom lip pushed out. “But I’m ovulating next week.” Her voice sounded softy and shaky.

“I know.” His heart squeezed at the disappointment she must be feeling. He knew she’d been ready and eager to go with this, and she hated to wait for anything, let alone something she’d wanted and waited for so long. He reached out and took her hand and clasped it. “I’m sorry. I’m still willing to do it…the donations have to be made over a two or three week period, because you have to abstain from uh…abstain for a few days in between. I expect I’ll be here that long, at least.”

She nodded. One tear formed in a crystal drop and slid down her smooth cheek.

“And that will cost about nine hundred bucks.”

“What!” This came from Derek. “Nine hundred bucks!”

Nate choked on a laugh. “Yeah. Don’t worry, I can afford it.”

“Oh, no.” Krissa brow creased with distress and her fingers gripped his. “You don’t have to pay that, Nate. We dragged you into this. We’re paying for it.” She shot a glance at Derek, who grimaced.

“Sure,” he said. “What’s another nine hundred bucks when we’ve already spent a fortune on this.”

“Then there’s the storage fee. For six months I think it’s another few hundred dollars.”

“Jesus.”

“Well, we knew artificial insemination was going to cost a lot,” Krissa said to Derek, shaking her head. “That doesn’t matter. We can afford it.”

Derek gave a jerky nod. “It seems like a lot of money for something that could be done in five minutes.”

“Huh?” Nate looked at Derek. “Five minutes?”

“Yeah. You know. Sex.”

Nate couldn’t help his laugh. “Five minutes, buddy? Poor Krissa.”

Derek’s mouth quirked. “You know what I mean, asshole. I just mean if you do things the natural way…” His smile faded and his brows drew together.

Nate looked at Krissa, who frowned at Derek. She wiped another tear from under her eye with a fingertip.

Derek sat up straight. “Why not? Why not just do it?”

“Do what?”

“Have sex. You and Krissa.”

Nate froze. His tongue expanded in his mouth and his vision blurred. He forced out a dry laugh. “Yeah, right.”

Krissa’s eyes flicked from Derek to Nate to Derek again. She blinked rapidly. Nate released her hand and pushed away from the table.

“I’m serious,” Derek said.

“Derek!”

“What?” Derek turned his gaze to his wife. “It sounds shocking, but think about it, Krissa. You could do it next week. And it would cost us nothing.”

Her eyes went so huge Nate could see the whites all around her irises. Her lower lip trembled. She looked back at Nate.

“It’s not the money,” she whispered.

He couldn’t believe this. Derek was telling him to have sex with his wife?

Not that he didn’t want to.

Oh, Jesus. Where did that come from? He could not lust after his friend’s wife. Could. Not.

He stood up, almost knocking the chair over behind him. “This is crazy.”

But, fuck, his dick had hardened at the thought. He turned away from them, shoved a hand through his hair.

“I’m not that repulsive,” Krissa said in a soft voice.

He spun around to stare at her. Could they both actually be serious?

She stood too, held out a hand to him. He didn’t take it. Wanted to, but didn’t. Her eyes met his and implored him. He shook his head.

“Derek. Think about what you’re saying.”

“He’s doing it for me,” Krissa said. She moved closer. “Aren’t you, Derek?”

“Yes.”

Nate turned his gaze to Derek. Their eyes met and held. Nate was sure Derek was remembering, like him, another time, another woman…they’d shared her, first separately then together. But this was his wife.

“We’ve done it before,” Derek murmured. Krissa’s head snapped around.

“What?”

“In college, there was a girl I was dating. Nate liked her too. She liked us both.” He shrugged. “So she dated us both.”

“Oh.” Krissa didn’t look upset. Just…curious. She sucked in her bottom lip. “Did you…you said something the other night. About…watching.”

Still holding Nate’s gaze, Derek nodded. “Yeah. We did.”

“Oh.”

Nate turned his head slowly from side to side. “This is different.”

“Why?” Krissa asked. “Because you don’t like me enough to sleep with me?”

Why the hell was she worried about what he thought about her? She should be wondering why her husband would let her sleep with another man, for God’s sake. Nate’s chest ached, and his stomach churned. He shouldn’t have eaten all that Thai food.

“That’s not it,” he finally rasped out. How could he tell her how much the idea of sleeping with her excited him? With her husband sitting right there. Christ. He rubbed his chest.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Would you think about it?”

He and Krissa faced each other, and his vision narrowed to just her. Beautiful. Sweet. Loving. She loved to please other people, do things for them—cook for them, feed them, help with their screaming children, put drops in their eyes—she deserved to have someone do something for her. She deserved to have what she wanted.

Did he have the strength to give it to her without it destroying him?

Saturday night. Derek announced that he’d invited friends over for drinks and a dip in the hot tub. Nate had managed to keep himself out of Krissa and Derek’s way while he wrestled with the dilemma of what to do about Derek’s shocking suggestion. He had to get a car. He could drive with the sunglasses on, and being stuck there at their home all day was driving him crazy. His fingers itched to pick up a camera and start shooting. In fact, he longed to photograph Krissa, her expressive face eyes full of longing and sadness, hope and excitement.

“I don’t think you know Steve and Kim,” Derek said.

“No, I don’t.”

Krissa seemed unenthusiastic that they were coming over, but said nothing. She’d been very quiet any time Nate had seen her since they’d talked about the…uh…sperm donation.

Their friends arrived shortly after eight o’clock and they all went out onto the deck. Krissa served margaritas and set out bowls of chips with salsa and guacamole in pretty Mexican-style pottery dishes.

Derek and Steve launched into a business discussion. Steve was another salesman. His wife Kim sat in the last rays of the sun, her blonde hair gleaming, tanned skin smooth. She had big, jutting tits that Nate could tell were enhanced, and a body honed by frequent workouts. Pink gloss shone on her full lips. Attractive if slightly fake. She and Krissa didn’t have much to say to each other.

“I’m ready to get in that hot tub,” Steve announced.

“Yeah, me too.” Derek stood. He’d turned up the heat and removed the cover earlier. Nate hadn’t yet been in the hot tub. It would have been a good way to ease some of the tension he’d felt since he’d arrived there. Hell, he’d been tense before he arrived, but walking into Krissa and Derek’s life hadn’t exactly helped that. Now he had more problems than he’d started with.

Krissa and Kim rose and walked over to the hot tub. Krissa trailed a hand through the water. “That’s nice,” she said. Derek pulled his golf shirt off over his head and started undoing his fly.

Taken aback, Nate had expected everyone to go change into swimsuits. He watched as Derek shucked shorts and underwear and stepped naked into the bubbling water. Steve followed.

Nate stood up. “Coming in, buddy?” Derek called to him.

“Uh. Yeah.” His attention was distracted by the sight of Kim’s tanned body being revealed as she removed her clothing. She had startling tan lines. Apparently she wore a very tiny bikini when she tanned. Her melon-like breasts had small strips of white over the centers of them. Large round nipples must almost have been revealed by the bathing suit. Tiny white strips at each hip and a white triangle over her bare mound hinted at a minuscule bottom.

Nate swallowed. He didn’t find her all that attractive but still, seeing a naked woman that close up couldn’t help but affect him. He glanced at Krissa and heat swept over him as he realized she was watching him watch Kim.

Krissa’s fingers worked at the buttons of the sleeveless shirt she wore and Nate’s mouth went dry. Seeing a stranger strip was bad enough but watching Krissa disrobe… Jesus God.

She slipped the shirt off her shoulders, still watching him. Kim stepped into the tub and joined the men, the water bubbling around their shoulders. “This is nice,” she purred. “Steve, we have to get one of these.”

“We should,” he agreed. He sipped the margarita he’d set on the wooden bench near the tub.

Nate couldn’t have dragged his eyes away from Krissa if the big earthquake had struck at that moment, dropping them into the Pacific Ocean. She opened the button of the denim skirt she wore, tugged down the short zipper and then pushed it down over her hips. She bent and picked up the skirt, clad only in white panties and bra. Pink bows sat on each hip bone and between her breasts.

Her breasts were all natural, full and soft and round. She set the skirt on the chair where she’d been sitting and reached behind her for the clasp of her bra.

Pressure built in Nate, his body taut and trembling. When Krissa dropped the bra, exposing her breasts to the evening air, his breath stuck in his throat. Her nipples were high, small and puckered tightly, a pretty rose color that matched the bows of her panties. Sliding her thumbs under the strings at each hip, she shimmied out of the underwear and stood before him completely naked.

His vision swam and he realized he hadn’t been breathing. He choked on an inhalation. Krissa still looked at him. Jesus Christ. Nate’s eyes shifted to the hot tub where Derek sat and watched them.

“Come on, Nate,” Krissa invited softly.

She was perfect. Beautiful. Smooth and lithesome. He couldn’t get air into his lungs.

Were they doing this deliberately? Trying to get him so horny he’d agree to fuck Krissa?

Nate set his drink down on the small table beside his chair and yanked his T-shirt off. Krissa had lit candles as the sun had lowered, and he didn’t need the sunglasses any more, but tonight he wanted to keep them on. He needed a shield, needed the protection the lenses gave him.

He stepped out of his shorts, excruciatingly aware of Krissa’s eyes on him. She’d stepped nearer the tub, then climbed in, still watching him. He’d never been self conscious about his body. He was an athlete, years of his life devoted to swimming, cycling and running. He’d lived much of his life at the beach, wearing next to nothing, and he’d admit to skinny dipping in pools or the ocean a few times. But at that moment, he was aware of every muscle moving, felt stiff and jerky as he stepped toward the tub.

His glanced skidded over the others. Steve and Kim hadn’t even cast a look his way, seemed oblivious. They talked, sipped their drinks and laughed. Derek’s eyes moved from Krissa to Nate and back again.

He wanted to call Derek on it. He hadn’t changed a bit since college. They’d indulged in some pretty wild times, and while Derek had accused him of liking to watch, Nate knew it was more the other way around. Derek liked to watch—and there’d been many a night where Nate and Sue had put on a show for him.

Yeah, sometimes Nate liked to watch. But he liked to be watched, too. And Krissa’s intent gaze had his dick swelling to a massive erection.

He quickly submerged himself in the stinging water, sure nobody else was sporting a huge boner like he was. Krissa slid in, between him and Kim.

Krissa sighed and leaned her head back. “The stars are so pretty,” she murmured. Nate gulped, at a loss for words.

Steam swirled and rose around them, blurring Derek’s face across the tub like a soft focus lens. The pungent scent of chlorine tickled Nate’s nose, and the heated water bubbled and churned against his skin.

“Isn’t this nice?” Krissa asked him

“It’s great,” he choked. He wished he hadn’t left his drink out of reach. He needed it. His glasses steamed up but he didn’t care, didn’t want to see anything.

That was a lie. He had to force himself not to turn and look at Krissa, sitting there naked right beside him, within touching distance. If he moved his leg, he could touch her.

He closed his eyes against the desire that swamped him. And then he noticed Kim and Steve moving closer. Steve bent his head and Kim turned her face up and they kissed. Not just a peck. A long, open-mouthed kiss.

Nate looked at Derek. He watched the couple kiss with avid eyes. Nate risked a glance at Krissa, wondering if she watched, too.

She was watching him.

Their eyes met, and he didn’t think she could really see his behind the dark glasses but he shivered inside anyway. They communicated wordlessly and he sensed her question, her doubt, her desire.

How they hell was he supposed to say no to her?

He sank lower into the eddying water, letting a jet pound into the muscles of his back. Fuck. He was in big trouble. Especially when Krissa’s hand found his thigh under the water.

Startled he looked down. He couldn’t even see their bodies under the white foam, so he didn’t expect the others could either. But still…Derek sat right there, and she had her hand on his thigh, dangerously close to being able to feel exactly how aroused he was.

Kim and Steve continued to make out, tongues licking each other, mouths sliding, opening. Kim reached an arm up to her husband’s shoulder, exposing her breasts. Water swirled around them.

Dispassionately, Nate realized he didn’t like Kim’s breasts. Too big, too fake, the nipples looked stretched and distorted. They almost repulsed him.

He had to look. He had to see Krissa’s perfect tits again. He let his eyes search them out in the roiling foam and, as if sensing his regard, she lifted up slightly so he could see them, her fingers digging into his quadriceps. Jesus.

He was dissolving, the heat and motion of the water melting hm. He felt as if his body was spinning away from him in the twirling currents, lost, helpless.

“You’re doing this on purpose,” he choked out.

Krissa didn’t smile. Just looked at him. “Yes.”

“Derek.” The one world held a million questions.

Her big eyes responded wordlessly. He closed his.

He was going to sleep with his friend’s wife.