Lost Heartbeats (Alexander & Maya Book 2) (8 page)

I gasped and groaned when he slid in deeper.

As soon as I put my hands on his chest, he took over again and lifted his hips up, slamming into me over and over again. His hands were pulling me down every time I moved up. My body was so fragile under his touch.

Letting him take the lead on fucking me, I leaned down and licked his nipples. On a particularly deep thrust, I lost my balance and grabbed on to the headboard before I could fall over. The new angle gave me leverage and I reared back on him, listening to his pleas, secretly reveling in them.

“Harder, baby. Make yourself come. Use me.”

“Deeper, Maya. Take more of my cock. Wreck yourself. Fuck us.”

When his hands lifted the heavy weight of my breasts and he scissored up to lick my nipples, he gave me another orgasm. My body gave up and I pressed my cheek against his shoulder as I rounded my arms around his neck, still taking his thrusts as I whimpered, worn out.

To say that he kept his promise would be an understatement.

By the time the morning light started to stream into the room, I was happily spent and sated, wrapped around in his embrace, our legs tangled in each other.

“Baby,” he whispered into my ear. “My beautiful, Maya.”

I was afraid our hearts were already lost at that point.

You know that moment when you first wake up and everything is up in the air? Your eyes try to adjust to the light, your breathing changes. Then, finally, your mind starts to catch up with reality and you realize that the life you were living just seconds ago was simply a dream—or a nightmare in some cases—and nothing about it was real. Just a fragment of your imagination.

Simply put, your mind is fucking with you.

Six days… It had been six days since I had talked to Lucas the last time, and every nightmare I had was a repeat of the same ending of that day. The doctor informing us about the complications, and that he was sorry. Natalie a crying mess in my arms, Lucas gone forever.

All because his little heart couldn’t hold on…

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Despite everything going on in my mind, I was very aware of the warm naked body that was holding on to me as if I was a lifeline. Perhaps for Maya I was. She sure as hell was the only thing that was holding me together at that moment.

Gently detangling myself from her arms, I took care not to jostle her. She was still deep in her sleep. Her lips were slightly tipped up as if she was having a good dream. A happy ending for her.

I let my fingertips trail from her jawbone to her full lips. Grunting, she turned her back to me, and I followed suit, not letting her get away from my touch.

Before she could settle down at the other side of the bed, I dragged her back against my chest. A sweet sigh escaped her lips, but other than that she didn’t wake up. Pressing my forehead against her shoulder, I tried to think of a way out of the hell hole that was my life now. I found Maya’s hand and gripped it lightly. I needed our connection to keep me grounded. To not get lost.

Since she seemed content with our new position and didn’t try to move away, I drifted off again. I knew I wasn’t fully asleep, but it didn’t stop me from seeing Natalie’s tear stricken face as she cried and died a thousand deaths in my arms, dragging me along with her.

Maybe it hadn’t been the best decision to leave her alone in the aftermath of the death of her son, but I couldn’t stay with her. I couldn’t be what she needed me to be before I could deal with my grief in my own way. Otherwise, I was afraid we would just drag each other in an endless pit of self-destruction.

Maya was the only one who could understand my pain. Or more likely, the only one I wanted to share my pain with. Would I have come after her if I wasn’t dealing with a loss this big?

I’d been planning to. Two months after she had left, I’d had Adam buy me a ticket. But then, Lucas’s health deteriorated, and none of the treatments came back with the results we wanted. A last surgery was the only remaining option. Even if Lucas’ health hadn’t been an issue, I could never find a big enough opening in my work schedule to add a trip out of the country.

But now, having her in my arms, feeling content after so many years…I knew I’d made a big mistake by not making the time. She was more than worth it.

I also knew—especially after the way my heart had reacted to seeing her again—that leaving her behind wasn’t an option.

The problem was, she wasn’t like anyone. It wouldn’t be easy to convince her that I could be everything she would ever need. Even if we both knew it to be the truth, how could I so selfishly tear her away from a place where the memories she shared with her father were her only happiness? How could I compete with a dead man?

When I heard a faint ringing coming from the living room, I reluctantly drew back from Maya and headed for the sound.

I checked my pockets, only to find that my phone was already dead. Noticing Maya’s bag near the couch, I hesitated before the phone stopped ringing and started up again. Rummaging through her bag, I fished out her phone and saw a smiling picture of her blonde friend flashing on the screen. Thinking it could be something important, I answered it so it wouldn’t wake Maya up.

“Hello.”

Complete silence on the other end of the line.

“Linn, I assume,” I said when it was clear that she wasn’t planning on introducing herself.

“How do you know who I am?” she whispered.

“Well, it’s not that hard to guess when your name and your picture flashes on the screen,” I answered, amused.

“Oh, right. Uh, sorry. Alexander, right?” She chuckled. “I just thought that I dialed the wrong number or something, I wasn’t expecting someone else to answer.”

“Maya is still sleeping, and I didn’t want the ringing to wake her up.”

“Oh, right,” she repeated again.

“We had a…” I stopped to think of a good word to describe the night we’d had, but I couldn’t find one. “We had a long night, and I want her to get at least a few hours of sleep in. Is it urgent?”

“Is what urgent?”

Jesus
… Was it me? Or was her friend a little slow?

“Linn, you are the one who called Maya. I’m asking if the reason for your call is urgent. I would prefer not to wake her up if it isn’t.”

“Okay. I think we got off on the wrong foot, and I’m not exactly what you would call a morning person—hence the slowness. It isn’t urgent. Maya would probably think it is, but it isn’t. So don’t worry about waking her. She is usually up and about by this hour, opening the café, making sure everything is ready and all that jazz.”

“Is there someone else that can take care of it for her?”

“Yep. Me.”

“Good. I’ll make sure to let her know you called as soon as she wakes up on her own. Is that all?”

Two beats of silence met my question. Then when her voice came back, it was stronger than before.

“Look,” she sighed into the phone, “obviously I don’t know you, I know
of
you, but that could all be bullshit. And maybe it isn’t my place to say, but I don’t want you to fly into Maya’s life and win her heart only to disappear in a few days and break it. Not when she isn’t back to her old self yet.”

“And what does that mean?” I had no tolerance for a conversation like this, but she was Maya’s friend, and I strongly believed she would find it rude if I just hung up on Linn.

“It means she is already struggling with her own life. If you are half the person she believes you to be, I’m hoping your visit will be good for her. That is, if you care about her.”

“Do you think I would travel all this way if I didn’t care about your friend?” I tried to keep my tone light, but I was afraid my annoyance was showing through.

I walked over to the window to gaze out to her small backyard, which she appeared to share with the neighbors she’d visited the night before.

“Like I said, I don’t know you. So, at this point, I can’t assume anything. All I’m saying is don’t break her.”

“Is that all?”

“That’s all you’re gonna say?”

“As you just pointed out, I don’t know you either, Linn. But, because you’re Maya’s friend and apparently looking out for her best interest, instead of pretending we never had this conversation and hanging up on you, I’m going to limit myself to saying that you have nothing to worry about when it comes to me breaking your friend’s heart. If there is any heart breaking, it will probably be Maya breaking mine.”

“Huh… That’s interesting to hear,” she said. “I’m not sure she is aware that she has the power to break your heart.”

Uncomfortable and done with the subject, I replied, “If there isn’t anything else, I’d like to go back to Maya.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go. But,” she started.

“Yes,” I said impatiently.

In response she laughed.

“Just let her know that she doesn’t have to come in today. You should take her out, or make her take you out. I want her to have a good day for a change. I’m hoping you’ll pressure her into relaxing, at least for a day.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Great. Thank you. Hopefully we’ll meet face to face before you leave her.”

I sighed and chose to ignore her last words.

“Have a great day, Ms. Linn.”

Without waiting for her reply, I ended the call and tossed Maya’s phone on to the couch. I was too old to be told off by a friend.

I could already feel a headache coming on, so forcing myself not to think about what ‘I want her to have a good day for a change’ meant, I went back to the side of the woman who had all the power to end me.

***

“You are the best I’ve ever had,” I said as soon as she opened those big brown vulnerable eyes. It was true; she was my best in every sense of the word, and there was no way I would let her slip through my fingers again.

She scrunched up her face, a small smile playing on her lips as she lifted her arms and stretched.

“Good morning to you, too.”

I placed my arm back over her waist and kissed her shoulder.

“For some reason I don’t find that convincing in any way,” she went on when I didn’t respond.

Another soft kiss on her collarbone.

“You don’t trust my word?”

“Should I?”

“Yes, you should. I will never lie to you, Maya. Not about us.”

“O-kay,” she said slowly, still in doubt. “Did I at least get in an hour of sleep? I probably didn’t since I didn’t hear the alarm go off.” She threw her arm over her eyes. “If I get up right now, I’m quite sure that I will walk funny, so if you laugh or even think of making a lewd comment, I’ll make you sorry,” she muttered.

“I’m glad to hear that I satisfy you, baby.”

“Did I say that?”

“I can read between the lines.”

“Fine. Now that your ego is too big to fit in this room, how about I get up and get ready for work.” She paused, and her body stiffened. “Of course, I don’t know what your plans are, but you are welcome to come with me. If you want to that is. I’m also assuming you didn’t come here just to stay for a night?”

I didn’t think it had been her intention to ask me that as a question, but it was still in her voice. Apparently she wasn’t comfortable with asking me anything directly about my plans.

Reaching up, I took her arm away from her face and linked our fingers together.

“Ask me,” I said as I looked into her eyes.

“Ask you what?”

“Ask me if I came here just to stay for a night. Ask me if I’m here just to have you one more time. Ask me if I’m lying to you. Ask me anything you want.”

Her face softened. “I didn’t say you were lying to me, Alexander. I believe what you told me yesterday. I know you are hurting.”

“So, what is it that you don’t believe then?”

She held my gaze for a few seconds, then sighed and turned her head away from me.

I squeezed her hand in mine.

“Don’t look away from me, Maya. Answer honestly. Why are you having trouble believing that I’m here because I want to be where you are?”

“I want to get up, it’s probably getting late. What time is it exactly?”

Unlinking our hands, she tried to get up from the bed.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I said, gently pushing her body back on the bed as I trapped her legs between my own and loomed over her—which only made her clutch the sheets tighter around her naked body.

“Hey! What are you doing?” she protested weakly.

“Tell me why you don’t seem to believe me.”

Fuck!
Looking down at her, I realized I would much rather have her naked beneath me when I was about to sink into her heat than when I had to force her to listen to what I had to say.

She stayed silent.

“Tell me,” I repeated.

“Oh, for god’s sake! Because of who you are, okay? Are you happy now?”

“No, Maya. I’m not happy. What does that mean, exactly? Care to explain?”

“Actually, no. I don’t care to explain. Can you get off of me now so I can go to work?”

“You’re a little late for that,” I said.

“What do you mean?” she asked back, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Linn called a few hours ago and I told her you were tired from last night and needed to sleep it off. She said she’ll handle the café, so you have nothing to worry about it.”

I held back a laugh when her eyes rounded. “You actually said that to her?” My smile wasn’t the answer she was hoping to get. “What time is it, Alexander?”

“Around noon.”

Closing her eyes, she rubbed her temple.

My eyes fell on her messy hair, and I reached out to brush it away from her forehead. I loved it that I got to touch her like that again. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I was late yesterday, too. You should’ve woken me up when she called.”

“She wanted you to have a day off. Who am I to argue with your friend? Especially if it means I can have you all to myself the entire day. Don’t you trust your friend to handle it?”

“Of course I trust her. I officially made her my partner just a few days ago.”

“So? What’s the issue?”

“I just like to have the option to make my own damn decisions, if that’s okay with you?”