Lost Without You (20 page)

“I'm happy,” she answered attempting to add a cheerful tone to her voice. But she couldn't force a smile to her lips.

They finished their meal in silence then cleaned up and put away the leftovers. After she was done here with Chip, she'd drop everything back off in the kitchen tent before sneaking out to meet Alex before midnight.

Chip stood and stretched. “I don't know about you, but the lack of furniture around here is almost enough to drive me completely crazy. I've never been so sick of sitting on the ground before.” He moved to the cot and sat on the end, patting the spot beside him. “You can't find that any more comfortable than I do. Join me up here. I promise I'll be good unless you ask me to be bad.”

Something inside of her squirmed at his insinuation, but she shook off the feeling as she joined him on the bed. She was only here for the information, which they hadn't spoken about at all yet, and she wasn't going to let herself get distracted by anything else.

“Did you manage to finish your planning for the week before I got here? I hope I didn't interrupt you.”

“I did. It's going to be a great week for ratings, but maybe not a great week for the last three teams.” He laughed and looked very pleased with himself.

“You really enjoy tormenting your contestants in the name of ratings, don't you?” She didn't want to encourage him, but she couldn't help smiling in spite of herself. It was way easier to enjoy the twists and turns of the show as the host than as a contestant.

“I'll admit it. I do take a little enjoyment from watching them struggle through the challenges. But in my defense, it's my job to do this and if I didn't try to do it to the best of my abilities, I'd be out of work just like anyone else. My job is to keep viewers tuning in each week and every single week it gets harder and harder to do that. The contestants should blame the viewers for getting bored with the usual and demanding more drama.”

“Sure, take the blame off yourself,” she teased. “Meanwhile, you're here in your tent, plotting. So how did you decide to make the contestants sweat it out this week? What crazy competition do I have the honor of presenting to them tomorrow?”

“Reward is pretty easy this week actually.”

“You're actually going easy on the contestants in week three? I don't believe you,” she said. Chip never went easy on contestants. Easy didn't equal good ratings.

“Reward is a hot, well, lukewarm camping shower like the ones we use as well as towels, soap, toothpaste, and shampoo.”

“That will be a pretty coveted reward after a couple of weeks of nothing but the icy cold stream. So what do they have to do to get it?”

“Mud wrestle. The winning team takes all. Easy.”

She laughed. “Oh, you are cruel. So you make them get filthy but then only one team gets to really clean off with a shower.”

“Well, when you put it that way it sounds bad. It made perfect sense in my head.”

“I'm sure it did. So what's the elimination challenge then?”

Chip's smile grew. He really did enjoy this power he had, regardless of the reason behind it. “This week they're going to have to face their fears if they want to stay.”

“What do you mean? What do they have to do?” She felt nervous for the teams even if she didn't have to compete with them. She wouldn't want to face her fears on national television and she couldn't imagine being forced to. A shiver shot up her spine at the thought of her biggest fear — the world seeing her scars and finding out about her accident.

“I have this crazy obstacle course set up for them and each member of the team will have to complete a part of the course. They'll have to swim across the current of the river, climb a fifty-foot tree, eat a bowlful of crickets, and go exploring in a cave of spiders.” He laughed in a way that almost sounded sinister.

Her heart pounded. Okay, so maybe she had a second big fear — spiders. “Where exactly will they be doing these things? Do I … um … do I have to be near each part of the course as it happens or do I get to stand somewhere safe? Away from the spiders.”

He rubbed her knee, the smile falling from his face. “I didn't realize you were afraid of spiders. Don't worry, you don't have to follow the contestants through the course, the cameramen are there for that. And I'll make sure the contestants don't have to come near you after they've been in the cave either.”

“Good. I have the creeps just thinking about a cave full of spiders out in the woods somewhere. It's not near base camp, right?”

“Nope. But if I told you it was, would you let me be the one to keep you safe each night?” His voice dropped low and seductive, sending a spike of heat through her body. “I promise nothing would touch you but my hands … Well, maybe my lips would too.”

He cupped her jaw in his hand and pressed his lips to hers. His kiss was soft and when he pulled away a second later, it left her wanting more. So much more. She fought the urge to climb into his lap and have her way with him.

“I'm happy the spiders won't be an issue.”

“You didn't answer my question. There are many other things out in these woods that could wander through camp at night. Maybe you're tired of being alone. I know I am.” He kissed her neck below her ear and she closed her eyes, unable to resist him.

“Are you trying to tell me a big strong guy like you is afraid of the dark? I might have a night light you can borrow to chase away the boogieman.” She swallowed hard, trying to keep her emotions under control. Her pulse beat beneath his lips and she wondered if he could feel it too.

I will not jump his bones again. I will not.

The mantra didn't quell her growing desire for him. Especially not when he did that thing with his teeth and his tongue against her skin as if he were barely stopping himself from completely devouring her.

She wanted to be devoured by him. Damn it.

“I don't need a night light to keep me company in the dark. I need you.” He slid his hand down her chest to cup her breast in his palm.

Zoe needed him too. More than she realized.

She arched into his hand unable to stop her desire as it boiled to the surface. When he touched her, kissed her — hell, when he looked at her — it felt as if the world tipped on its axis and nothing made sense anymore. Everything she thought she'd wanted … to be alone, to keep her heart safe and secure … all of it flew out the window the second his lips and hands found her quivering body. He made her feel all the things she never thought she'd get to feel.

He made her want things she never knew she wanted.

She wanted to be loved by someone. She wanted to feel desired by someone. She wanted to be accepted exactly as she was, flaws and all, by someone.

But not just anyone.

Zoe wanted all of that from just one person. Chip.

Chip pressed into her until she found herself lying on his cot. He kissed her hard on the mouth this time, his need for her shining through. His fingers brushed against her stomach as his hand snuck under the edge of her shirt.

No matter how hard she tried to force her eyes open so she could refocus her mind, her eyes wouldn't listen. Instead, she was trapped in the darkness and wrapped in the sensation of Chip's mouth on hers, his tongue teasing hers with little licks.

Instead of pushing him away like she should, she grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. She wanted to see him in the dim light from the lantern.

The other night at the waterfall, she'd been able to feel his perfectly flawless skin, but now she wanted to see it in the light. The urge was too much to ignore. Her eyes popped open and she scanned his sculpted chest. His muscles flexed as he hovered over her, his breathing coming out fast and hard as he watched her examine every inch of him.

Rolling to the side, he propped himself on one elbow and left his hand resting on her hip while she turned toward him and studied him more. He was so gorgeous. Sleek, tanned, toned. She'd forgotten how beautiful the human body was when it wasn't tarnished with scars.

Pressing her fingers to his chest, she traveled the line of his pectorals then down to his belly button and over to the edge of his hip. Every line of muscles was exactly how it should be.

She brushed her lips against his chest and he took in a deep stuttered breath. The thought she could make him feel something so strongly that it took his breath away made her feel powerful and more beautiful than she'd ever felt before. She gazed up at him through heavy lashes as her tongue darted out for a quick taste of him, flickering across his skin. He moaned and she almost let a matching sound escape her mouth.

Zoe shrieked as he suddenly flipped her onto her back and his legs straddled her hips. He pulled the bottom two buttons of her shirt open before she realized his intentions.

“My turn to see you in the light, Zoe,” he said, his voice heavy with desire, lust glazing his eyes.

Fear instantly cleared the fog settling in her head from his kisses, his touch.
No. Stop! It's too bright. He'll see too much.

Tears clouded her vision as she struggled to get her hands on the next button before Chip got to it first. “Stop.” Her voice came out too quiet and strained.

He bent his head and kissed her belly button, laughing as she squirmed beneath him. He probably thought it tickled. But it didn't. It hurt like a knife to her gut. A few buttons and Chip would find the scar she never bothered to cover with makeup unless she was in a bikini, which wasn't very often. Certainly she hadn't prepared for tonight.

Her body shook as the feeling of being trapped overtook her. She rolled to the side and pushed against him with all her strength. Chip tumbled off the side of the cot, landing hard on the ground with a grunt.

“I said stop. I have to go.” Standing from the bed, she pulled her shirt back down into place, fastening the two buttons he'd managed to get undone, and fled from his tent out into the cold dark night air. She didn't stop running until she was almost to the clearing where she had to meet Alex.

When the stitch in her side finally forced her to stop running, she collapsed to the ground, her body shaking as tears came. This time she didn't fight them.

Zoe stood with a forced smile on her lips and clapped as the rowing team — Alex the blackmailer's team — crossed the finish line first, having successfully completed the obstacle course ahead of Rick's team in second and the doctors in last place.

She gritted her teeth together at the thought of having to look at him — be used by him — for one more week before the show would finally culminate at the final challenge. Of course in the meantime, she still had to find out what Chip had in store for them at the finale. Alex would give away her true identity if she didn't make sure he had enough advance information to win.

Just like he had this week.

While her dinner with Chip had basically destroyed their friendship after she tossed him to the ground and bolted from his tent as if he were a rapist, it had ultimately been successful in gathering the information Alex requested. And with the information, Alex and the rest of the rowing team had been victorious in both the reward and the elimination challenges.

He was here for another week because of her. And she was held to the fire for another week because of her relationship with Chip.

Lack of relationship.

Chip hadn't said more than a few necessary words to her during the setup for filming since the incident in his tent. Not that she could really blame him.

She rubbed the pendant on her necklace. She'd hurt Chip by running away that night. Actually by running away two nights — she'd done the same thing to him by the waterfall too.

She sucked.

She didn't deserve someone like Chip to talk to her, want to have dinner with her, or any of the other things he'd wanted to do with her.

She only deserved people in her life like Alex — people who used her, because that was exactly the same thing she'd done to Chip.

Alex was going to demand she do it again to find out what the final challenge was. But she'd never be able to get the information out of Chip now. Not the way she had this last week. Hell, she'd be lucky if she could even get him to have a civil conversation about the weather at this point.

She was royally screwed.

As if to prove her point, Alex sauntered over to her as his team started down the path that would take them back to their camp. The noise of lights being taken down from trees and production people chatting was all around them, masking their conversation.

“Chip said the final challenge is in four days. So you officially have three days to find out what it is. Meet me in the usual place and time the night before with the information or the finale will become all about you.”

She glanced around. “I don't know if I can get the information from Chip again. I sort of burned that bridge last time.”

“Trouble in paradise?” he whispered in her ear. “I don't care who you have to sleep with to get me what I want. Make it happen.”

Alex walked away. Zoe's shoulders slumped with the weight of this new task. It wasn't as easy as spreading her legs to someone on the production crew. And she'd never stoop to that level anyway. She was a lot of things, but a slut wasn't one of them. Kissing and flirting was one thing, but sleeping with someone was completely different and out of the question.

Any way she looked at it, she was totally screwed.

• • •

Chip stood near one of the production bags, checking to make sure everything that was supposed to be inside actually was. Not like last week's challenge when one of the production assistants left some mics behind after the challenge. Luckily they'd gotten back to them before the rain had and the mics were fine, but he didn't want the same to happen this week. Not when they still had the big finale to film in a few days.