Love After Dark (14 page)

Chapter 9

Hope ran through the rain, past the house to her cabin, where she shed her clothes inside the door and headed for the shower. Her teeth were chattering and her heart was breaking. The warm shower would fix at least one of those things. The other one would take a while.

Standing under the warm water, she finally released the deep breath she’d been holding since she’d bolted from the store, leaving Paul bewildered by her behavior.
 

A sob escaped through her clenched jaw, and she slid down the shower wall to sit on the floor. This kind of pain reminded her far too much of how she’d felt after everything happened with Carl. At the time, she’d promised herself that she’d never again risk so much for any man. And here she was, on the verge of risking it all once more.

The stakes were too high. She couldn’t afford to gamble her sanity and Ethan’s well-being, no matter how great Paul was or how wonderful she’d felt in his arms. It didn’t matter that his kisses set her on fire or that she wanted so much more than the little bit they’d had. None of that mattered as much as Ethan did. Under no circumstances could she put him through another ordeal like the one they’d both suffered through at the hands of his father.

She wouldn’t survive another situation like that, and what would happen to Ethan if she fell apart? Hope liked to think of herself as a fairly pragmatic person. Life had taught her to put away girlish dreams of happily ever after and true love to focus on reality. And her reality right now was Ethan and providing a stable home for him. To do that, she had to keep her life free of drama. She had to avoid what one of her friends from home had referred to as “self-inflicted” wounds.

So what if it felt great to be held and kissed and caressed by a sexy, desirable,
nice
man. Carl had been all of those things at first, too. Until he wasn’t any of them anymore, and she’d been the last to know. All men were lovely until they got what they wanted, and then their true colors came through.

Except
, a tiny voice inside her said,
Paul is always amazing with his mom
. She’d never seen him be anything other than patient and kind and tolerant of the many inconveniences Marion’s illness brought to his life. Didn’t that say something about who he really was?

When the water began to grow cold, Hope stood to shut it off. She dried herself and put on her warmest robe. Then she went into the kitchen to put a kettle on to boil, hoping a cup of tea would have its usual calming effect. Her nerves were stretched to their limit, the way they’d been for one awful, devastating summer two years ago when her whole life fell apart in spectacular, embarrassing fashion.

Ethan had been old enough to know something awful was happening, but too young to understand the nuances, for which she was grateful. That she was even revisiting that horror was a sign that she’d done the right thing backing off with Paul. But if that were true, why did she ache so badly inside?

Was she doomed to be alone forever because she was too scared to take a chance with someone new? Wow, talk about depressing thoughts. The slam of the screen door jarred her out of those thoughts as Ethan came bounding in, dropping his overnight bag on the floor and kicking off his sneakers.
 

“What’s for dinner, Mom?”

“Hello to you, too. Don’t I even get a hug?”

He gave her the fastest hug in the history of fast hugs and pulled back. “Why are you wearing a robe in the afternoon?”

“I got stuck in the rain, so I took a shower to warm up.”

“We got stuck, too! We had to run off the beach, but it was so fun. Can Jonah sleep over here next weekend? Can he?”

“Sure.”

“He’s my best friend in the whole world. Well, other than Paul. He’s my bestest friend ever. I wanna go see him and Mrs. Marion.”

Hearing him refer to Paul as his bestest friend ever brought tears to Hope’s eyes.

Thankfully, Ethan was jamming his feet back into his sneakers and didn’t notice her emotional reaction to his innocent, yet heartfelt, statement.
 

Hope grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him from shooting out the door. “Mrs. Marion is out with her friends, and Paul is at work.”

“It’s a Sunday! He doesn’t work on
Sundays
, Mom.” The disdainful tone was a sign of things to come in the teenage years.
 

“He’s doing stuff in the office. Computer stuff.”

“That’s boring.” The sneakers came flying off again, spilling sand he’d brought home from the beach onto the wood floor. “I’m going to watch
Star Wars
. What’s for dinner? Can we have ziti?”

“Yeah, we can have ziti.”

His smile lit up his face, reminding her what was most important in her life. Yes, it would be nice to pursue a relationship with Paul, but that wasn’t where her attention needed to be right now. The squiggling boy who tried to resist her hugs and kisses was her whole world. She’d do whatever it took to protect him from any further hurt, even if it meant she had to hurt instead.
 

The rain cast a damper on Mac’s plans for a Sunday afternoon cookout with his siblings, cousins, uncles and closest friends, forcing him to improvise with a makeshift tent over the grill on the deck. As he cooked chicken and ribs and hot dogs for the kids, he thought about the plan he wanted to run by his siblings, in particular.
 

Their parents would be married forty years in December, and he wanted to do something to commemorate the occasion, but he wasn’t sure what exactly. He was hoping they would have some ideas. With his parents off-island for a weekend getaway in Boston, this had been the perfect time to bring the gang together to talk about them when there was no chance of getting caught.

He carried the meat in on a platter Maddie had given him and placed it on the counter, where she’d set out a buffet that the others had contributed to. “Come and get it!”

Mac loved having his siblings living nearby as well as their cousins Laura and Shane, who now lived on the island, and Finn and Riley, who had spent the summer and were sticking around for the fall. They hadn’t made any promises about the winter, but Mac was hoping they’d stay. He could really use their help on the addition to Seamus and Carolina’s home, for one thing. And he’d gotten the strangest call from Lizzie James earlier, who’d wanted to gauge his availability to convert the former island school into a nursing home of all things.

When everyone had a plate, Mac stood and cleared his throat. “The reason I invited you all here today—”

“Oh God, Mac,” Janey said with a groan. “What now?”

“Hush up, brat, and I’ll tell you. Mom and Dad’s fortieth anniversary is coming up in December, and I think we ought to do something.”

“That’s a great idea,” Grace said, earning a warm smile from Mac. “What did you have in mind?”

“I was hoping you all would have some ideas. I have no clue what we should do.”

“We need a party,” Grant said. “A big bash.”

“We could do it at the restaurant,” Grant’s new wife, Stephanie, said. “We’re open on weekends in the winter, but we could shut down on a Saturday night for a private party. I’ll look at the calendar and give you some dates.”

“That would be perfect,” Mac said. “What does everyone else think?”

“I can’t believe they’ve been married forty years,” Frank said. “That makes me feel older than dirt.”

“You are older than dirt, Dad,” Laura said with a teasing smile.

“Gee, thanks a lot, hon.”

“We know better, don’t we?” Frank’s girlfriend, Betsy, said to groans from Laura and Frank’s son, Shane.

“So gross,” Shane said.

Frank grinned at Betsy. “See why I love her?”

Mac’s Uncle Kevin got up and walked over to the big windows that looked over the meadow behind the house. Normally, the view stretched all the way to the ocean in the distance, but today the low clouds hampered the visibility.

While the others hashed out ideas for the party, Mac went over to check on his uncle. “How you doing, Kev?”

“I’m good.”

“Are you really?”

Kevin shrugged. “Just getting used to the fact that I’ll never have a fortieth anniversary. Hell, I won’t have a thirtieth either. Just missed.”

“I’m sorry about you and Aunt Deb.”

“Thanks. It’s a bummer, but it is what it is.”

“There’s really no hope for reconciliation?”

“Nope. She’s off enjoying her new romance with a younger guy of all things.”

“Is it a mid-life crisis?”

“Could be. But what does it matter? She’s gone.”

Mac squeezed his uncle’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry, Kev. And I’m sorry if I threw salt in the wound by bringing up my parents’ anniversary in front of you.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course we need to celebrate them. They’re the best couple we all know.” He smiled at Mac. “Go on over there and figure out a plan. I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take some time to figure out what’s next.”

“Have you told Riley and Finn?”

“Yeah, we have, and they’re taking it hard. They’re angry with her, but I’ve tried to tell them this is between her and me, and there’s no need to get pissed. But they don’t see it that way.”

“Hopefully, they’ll work things out with her in time.”

“We’ll see.”

“We’re glad to have you here with us in the meantime.”

“It’s good to be here. It’s been years since I took any real time off, so I was due, and where else would I rather be than here with all of you?”

“Mac,” Evan said. “Get over here.”

“Duty calls,” Mac said. “They can’t function without my leadership.” He left Kevin laughing and returned to the dining room table, where the others were hashing out ideas.

“You ought to do a video of photos from all their years together,” Mac’s recently discovered half-sister, Mallory, suggested.

“That’s a great idea,” Janey said, “and that can be Adam’s job.”

“Sure, brat, sign me up,” Adam said.

Janey stuck out her tongue at him. “Who else could do that?”

“No one,” he said, grinning. “I’m all over it.”

“The girls will handle decorations and the cake,” Maddie said as the others nodded.

“Owen and I have got the music covered, in case you wondered,” Evan said.

Sitting beside him, Owen smiled in agreement.

“Me and Francine will take care of gittin’ ’em there,” Big Mac’s best friend, Ned Saunders, said. “We’ll invite ’em out fer dinner.”

“Perfect.” Mac rubbed his hands together. “I love when my master plans come together so smoothly.”

“So what exactly is
your
job in all of this?” his cousin Laura asked.

“It was my idea. What else do you want from me?”

The entire group howled and threw balled-up napkins at him.
 

Laughing, Mac batted them away. “I’m so underappreciated in this family.”

“You’re perfectly appreciated,” Maddie said, tossing another napkin at him.

“I nominate Mac to pay for the whole thing,” Janey said. “All in favor, say aye.”

A loud chorus of aye votes had Mac groaning.
 

Mac’s son, Thomas, ran over to him. “Dada, why they throwing stuff at you?”

Mac picked up the blond-haired toddler. “Because they’re being silly.”

Thomas wrapped his arms around Mac’s neck. “I take care of you, Dada.”

Sighing, Mac closed his eyes and squeezed the little boy. When he opened his eyes, he caught Maddie watching them with tears in hers.

“I can always count on you, buddy.”

Thomas squirmed out of his embrace and scampered off to play with his cousin Ashleigh and his baby sister, Hailey.
 

Maddie reached for Mac’s hand, and he curled his fingers around hers.
 

“So everyone is going to AM’s bachelor party next weekend, right?” Evan asked, referring to Alex Martinez’s high school nickname. Paul had been known as PM back then.

“Can’t wait,” Grant said to murmured agreement from the other guys.

“However shall we entertain Jenny while the guys are off partying?” Sydney asked with a mysterious grin.