Love After Dark (41 page)

“Are you incapable?”

“No,” he said with a laugh. “All the equipment works just fine, thank you, with no medication required. But I suspect I’m a hell of a lot older than you are.”

“I’m thirty-six.”

“That’s sixteen years.”

“A doctor who can also add.” She fanned her face dramatically. “You don’t find that every day.”

She was cute and sexy and funny and lovely. And young. Too young for him, but he’d gone hard as stone at the thought of taking her to bed. The confident way in which she’d propositioned him was a huge turn-on. He was forever counseling his female patients to take control of their own sexuality. To find a woman who clearly owned her sexuality was incredibly hot.
 

“So what do you say, Doc? Would you like to come home with me tonight?”

He’d never once, in thirty years together, been unfaithful to Deb. But his marriage was over and she’d moved on with someone else. There was no reason he couldn’t do the same. Under the bar, he slid the wedding ring off his finger and stashed it in his back pocket. “Yes, I believe I would.”

Chapter 26

The final week before the wedding passed in a flurry of activity that left Paul’s head spinning with details and emotions and despair so deep and so pervasive, he wondered if he’d ever recover from losing Hope and Ethan, not to mention the sudden and painful removal of his mother from her home.

David’s phone calls on their behalf had yielded immediate results. A memory care facility on the mainland had an opening that had become available after a patient died. They could take Marion as soon as Paul and Alex could get her there. David had urged them not to say no, since it could be months before another spot would open up.

Paul and his brother had gone round and round about whether they should wait until after the wedding to move her, but in the end, they’d decided to go forth sooner rather than later. The wedding would be confusing to her, and as much as Alex wanted her there, he’d chosen to do what was best for her rather than him.

In a way, Paul was relieved that she wouldn’t be there to potentially disrupt his brother’s big day. As soon as he had that thought, he hated himself for it. But ever since she’d slapped Hope, Paul had found it more difficult to separate the illness from the mother he loved. Something had changed that day—the day that Hope became more important to him than his own mother.
 

During Marion’s last few days at home, Hope packed her most treasured photos to send with her. She lovingly sewed nametags into Marion’s clothing and made sure her medication was well organized for a smooth transition. In short, she did everything she could to make the move as easy for Alex and Paul as she could, and they would be eternally grateful to her.

They moved Marion on Wednesday, three days before Alex’s wedding. In the end, she went somewhat quietly. Her confusion had gotten worse than ever in the last few days she’d been at home, and even though their hearts were breaking to know she’d probably never again return to the home she loved, they had no doubt anymore that they were doing what was best for her, even if it about killed them to actually do it.
 

Jenny and Hope had offered to come with them, but the brothers had declined their kind offer, wanting to see to the move themselves. They returned to the island six hours after they left.

As the ferry broached the breakwater in South Harbor, Alex said, “After spending years stressing out about this day, it was almost too easy.” They stood at the rail and watched the town of Gansett come into view.

“I suppose it was easy because it was time.”

“Maybe.”

“Hopefully, Lizzie will get her rest home off the ground, and we can move her back to the island,” Alex said.

“Mom might be better off to stay where she is if she’s gotten used to it.”

After a long pause, Alex said, “Dad would understand why we had to do this, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah, he would.” Paul said what Alex wanted to hear, but he was no more certain of what their father would have to say about this than his brother was. As they’d made preparations for the move, Paul had tried not to think about what their father would think about it. He could only hope that George Martinez somehow knew that they’d done everything humanly possible to postpone the inevitable for as long as they could. Paul would never admit to anyone that he felt oddly relieved to have the weight of the responsibility for his mother’s care off his shoulders and Alex’s. Once again, he felt like shit for even having the thought.

“We did the best we could for a long time,” Alex said.

“We certainly did. Longer than most people would have.”

“And one of us will see her every week.” They planned to take turns going to the mainland, and Marion’s friends, including Daisy, had also promised to visit as often as they could. “Do you feel like shit for being relieved that it’s not up to us anymore?”

“Total shit.”
 

With Marion’s move complete, Hope told Ethan that they’d be leaving Gansett after the wedding to move back to the mainland. Ethan didn’t take the news well, lashing out at his mother, Paul, Alex and anyone who would listen to how unfair it was that he had to leave the best place he’d ever lived. Paul’s heart broke all over again at realizing how devastated Ethan was to be leaving.

From his post on the back porch later that night, he could hear Hope arguing with Ethan, who was refusing to take a shower. Though it wasn’t his place or his business, Paul got up from the step, crossed the yard and went up the stairs to the cabin, knocking on the door.
 

Looking frazzled, Hope came to the door. “Paul.”

He gestured to the interior of the cabin. “May I?”

Wearily, she opened the door to admit him. He took a chance and put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her forehead. It was the first time he’d touched her in days, and it took everything he had to let his hands drop from her shoulders when all he wanted was to touch her everywhere. “Take a break. I got this.”

Walking around the boxes she’d begun to pack, Paul went into Ethan’s room, where the little guy was sitting on his bed, his arms crossed and his face set with fury. Paul’s father would’ve said he was “bull-necking.”

“What’re you doing here?” Ethan asked sullenly.

“I heard the way you were talking to your mom, and I thought, that’s not the way my buddy Ethan talks to his mom. My buddy Ethan is respectful and does what he’s told.”

“I’m not your buddy anymore. We’re leaving.”

“I know, and that totally sucks.”

“Sucks is a bad word.”

“How’s stinks?” Paul asked as he sat at the foot of Ethan’s bed, taking note of the Avengers comforter. “Is that better?”

His big eyes filled with tears as he shook his head. “I’m so mad at her.”

“You’re not being fair, Ethan. We hired her to take care of Mrs. Marion, and her illness got a lot worse, so she can’t live here with us anymore.”

“Why not?” he asked, his voice breaking. “Is my mom not a good enough nurse?”

“She’s a great nurse, but there’s only so much she or anyone can do to help Mrs. Marion.”

“She doesn’t remember things.”

“No, she doesn’t. Soon she’s going to forget how to eat and breathe, which is going to be really, really scary. That’s why she needs to live somewhere else, so they can help her when that happens.”

“Is-is she going to die like Kyle and Jackson’s mom did?”

“Eventually.”

Ethan threw himself at Paul. “I don’t want her to die.”

Paul held him close. “Aww, buddy, I don’t want that either. But everyone dies someday, and it’s going to be better for Mrs. Marion to have more care than we can provide here, even with your mom doing her very, very best.”

“Are you sad that your mom is leaving?”

“I’m so sad, and I’m sad that you and your mom are leaving, too.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t want you to go, but the good news is you can come back to visit any time you want.”

“Won’t be the same as living here.”

“No, it won’t, but I’ll call you, and we’ll see each other. I promise.” Paul held Ethan while he cried out his frustrations. “Will you do something for me?”

Ethan nodded.

“Will you please mind your mom and do what she asks? This is hard for her, too, and arguing with you doesn’t make it better for her. You don’t want to make her sadder, do you?”

“No. She’s so sad. Like she was when my dad got in trouble.”

Paul felt like he’d been gut-punched. Good God, had it really come to that? “Everything is going to be okay. Now how about you take that shower your mom wants you to have?”

“Okay,” Ethan said glumly.
 

Paul released him and waited until the bathroom door clicked shut behind Ethan before he got up to leave the room.
 

Hope was standing in the hallway, wiping away tears.

Drawn to her as powerfully as he’d ever been, he put his arms around her.

She rested her hands on his hips and her head on his shoulder.
 

He wanted to beg and plead with her. He wanted to remind her of how incredible they’d been together. But he didn’t do any of those things. Rather, he only held her until the shower turned off. Though it was the hardest thing he’d ever done, he let her go.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Sure.” He left her with a small smile and got the hell out of there while he still could. Every part of him ached at the thought of losing them. For the first time, he began to give serious thought to leaving the business, his home, his brother, his life on Gansett to go wherever they were. “Motherfucker,” he muttered to the dark house.

“What’s that about?” Alex asked, flipping on a light.
 

The sudden light as well as the sound of his brother’s voice startled Paul. “Nothing.”

“Gotta be something to have you swearing like that.”

“Nothing to be concerned about.”
 

“Paul. Come on…”

“She’s leaving. They’re leaving, and I don’t want them to.”

“Assume you’ve said as much?”

“Yeah. For all the good it did.”

“What exactly did you say?”

“I told her I wanted her and Ethan to stay, that I’d take care of them, that we’d figure it out. She said she has to work, that she’s still in the hole from the shit her ex pulled.”

“Hmm.” Alex rubbed the scruff on his jaw that he’d grown in deference to Jenny’s wishes for stubble at the wedding. Their father would’ve told him to shave his damned face.
 

“What does that mean?
Hmm?
”

“Did you happen to mention among those reasons you gave her to stay that you love her?”
 

“I… I… No, I didn’t. I thought it was too soon.”

Alex laughed. “She’s over there packing to leave. Soon enough it’s going to be too late.”

Alex’s words sent panic shooting directly to Paul’s heart.
 

“I’m not telling you what to do, but if she’s what you want—and I think she is—put it all out there, Paul.”

He was right. Alex was one hundred percent right. “She said she’d never get married again.”

“That was before she fell in love with you.”

Hearing Alex say, in such a matter-of-fact way, that Hope was in love with him made him feel elated, until he remembered the many obstacles still standing in their way. “What if I ask her and she says no?”

“Then at least you won’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering what might’ve happened if you went for it.” Alex held up a finger. “Wait here.”

Alex was gone long enough for Paul to break into a cold sweat. Was he really going to propose to her? And what if she did say no? What then? Alex’s return interrupted his panic attack.

“Hold out your hand.” Alex took Paul’s hand and dropped the ring their father had given their mother for their twentieth anniversary into his palm. Then he closed Paul’s hand around the ring and held it for a long moment. “Since Mom can’t wear it anymore, she’d want you to have it.”