Love Always, Damian (29 page)

Chapter 39

Ellie

I wake up to the smell of bacon. Lia’s giggles bubble into my bedroom, followed by Damian’s voice.

“Shhh. Mommy’s still asleep, and we want to surprise her.”

Last night wasn’t a dream, but I’m pretty sure I’m living a fairytale.

I stretch my arms above my head while I wait. The blankets slip down, and I realize I’m—

Naked. Crap, I’m naked!

If my nose is correct, they’re serving me breakfast in bed…and I’m naked.

I toss off the covers and begin a frantic search for my clothing. I only find half of it, though, before I remember the top part is in the living room.

“You got her coffee?” Damian asks, and my guess is that they’re in the hallway.

“Yep-yep!” Lia quips, then she giggles. “We’re like spies.”

Damian laughs. “Tip-toe like this. Very quiet.”

I scurry over to my drawers and throw on whatever shirt is on top. I jump back in bed, throw the blankets back over me, and pretend to be asleep because I don’t want to ruin their fun.

The door creaks open, and another little giggle escapes Lia. It’s silly and adorable, and I have to work not to snicker.

I hear the click of the light switch as it’s flipped on.

“Careful,” Damian warns in a hushed voice, and I suspect Lia turned on the light while carrying my cup of coffee.

“I got it,” she whispers back with some sass. “I’m almost four, you know. Next month.”

I inwardly cringe, hoping he didn’t give her a
full
cup of coffee to carry. Surely, not…right?

“Well, four-year-olds need to be careful too,” he says, and I just know our daughter rolled her eyes at that.

There’s movement on the nightstand as Damian rearranges the things on it and sets the tray down.

“Coffee?” he asks, and I assume Lia gives it to him. “Thank you.”

Then the mattress sinks beside me and Damian’s fingers sweep across my cheek.

“Elle, baby? We made you breakfast,” Damian murmurs. The nickname sounds so sweet coming from his lips this morning. In fact, everything seems sweeter this morning.

In answer, I give a little moan to play along. Lia’s patience, though, is at its limit, and she has no time for my games. “Mommy, wake up! Look who’s here!”

Her little body climbs up on top of mine before she straddles my stomach and bounces on it.

“Mommy!” she repeats.

“I’m up. I’m
so
up,” I say, half laughing.

Damian leans down and kisses me. “Best morning of my life.” His nose grazes mine, and I glimpse a hint of those dimples that make him so irresistible.

I love you,
I mouth, wishing this little moment we’re sharing would last longer.

“See, Mom?” Lia interrupts us. “I knew he’d come for us.”

I hug her to me and kiss her head. “Yes, you did.”

“We made you breakfast,” she says. “Daddy even let me crack the eggs!”

I flash Damian a glance. “Brave.”

“Maybe, but you’re the one eating them,” he answers, grinning.

I take it as a challenge. “Whatcha waiting for, then? Bring it on!”

Lia claps her hands as Damian places the tray on my lap. I start with the eggs because Lia’s eagerly staring at me with wide eyes.

“You look like a monkey,” I tell her before I scoop the eggs into my mouth. “Mmmm.” Really, they’re not bad. Lacks salt, but at least there’s no shells.

“All right, babygirl,” Damian says, picking Lia up off the bed. “Big day. Go get dressed and pack a bag.”

“Okie dokie!” Lia says and skips out.

“Pack a bag?” I ask, my brows high on my forehead. I’d kind of been hoping our first day together would be uneventful.

“Big day,” he repeats.

“Care to elaborate?”

Caribbean blue eyes study me. Melt me into a school-girl puddle of puppy love, and suddenly I don’t care as long as he takes me with him.

“There’s something I have to do, and I want you with me, Elle.”

He’s serious as he says it, making me a little worried. I trust him, though. “Anything.”

He caresses my face, a thumb smoothing over my mouth, which has become one of his favorite things to do, apparently. “Good. We leave in two hours.”

“Damian?” I ask because I need to get this out before we go anywhere. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not telling you about Lia. For stealing away all that time the two of could have shared. And I’m sorry for not flying up, and I’m sorry that—”

“Baby, it’s okay. I was an asshole.”

“Please, Damian, let me say this,” I say, but he’s shaking his head.

“We can sit here and spend our day apologizing to each other for all the shit we’ve done, but then what? I’m sorry too, Elle. For a mile long list of crap, but wounds don’t heal with words alone. They’re just the starting point. Trust and forgiveness takes time. Action. And I’m done screwing around. I’m here for good, and I’d rather spend every second of my life proving
that
to you.”

He brushes my tangled hair away from my face. “We both fucked up. We’re both sorry. Now let’s move forward. Can you do that?”

Slowly, I feel myself nod. In a way, it’s like we’re starting over. Not with a new slate, though. With a clean one. One we’ve scribbled on over and over, black and messy, and now we’re wiping it off. Sure, it’ll get dirty again, but I smile as I think about repeating this process with the man I love, growing together.

“Good.” He kisses me and lowers the blankets from my chest. An eyebrow quirks up when he sees me.

“What in the world are you wearing?”

I look down to see what I threw on. It’s the ugly red Christmas t-shirt I made for a party at school. Lia helped, and it very closely resembles elf vomit—glitter, sequins, beads, you name it—splattered all over the material. There’s even a glob of glue Lia accidently dumped on it that, covered in gold glitter, hangs from Rudolf’s nose like a booger.

“Um, well, what I wore before wasn’t exactly appropriate,” I say. I need to trash this shirt as soon as possible.

Damian’s gaze slides down my body and back up, and I shiver. “No, baby, what you wore before is the
only
thing that’s appropriate.”

To emphasize his point, warm palms slip under the hideous t-shirt and begin to lift it off.

“Damian,” I breathe against his mouth. Nipples hardening, my body is already reacting to him. “Lia.”

“Your door has a lock,” he says, necking me.

I hold back a moan that’s dying to come out. “Yeah, but that won’t do much good since she’s standing at the door.”

Damian rotates and lets go of me. I snicker at his surprise.

Lia doesn’t look impressed. In fact, the little eye roll she gives us clearly indicates she has a timetable we’re not sticking to. To prove it, she holds up her suitcase. “All packed. Let’s go see Olivia.”

~*~

As soon as we land at the airport, the hospital is our first stop. Lia silently takes in the snow outside and the Christmas decorations. Damian threads his fingers with mine and leads the way to the third floor.

“How is Olivia?” I ask now that we’re here, lowering my voice so only he hears.

“When I left, not well. Dad was putting her on oxygen.”

“Will Lia even be able to see her?”

“I’ll make it happen.”

We walk down the corridor to a room at the end of the hall. Dr. Lowell steps out and turns to close the door. When he sees us, he stops short though. His gaze lands on his son first. I can’t read it, but then he smiles when he peers at Lia and me.

“It’s good to see you again, Ellie,” he says.

“You too, Dr. Lowell.”

“Grandpa?” Lia says from beside me. “Can I see Olivia now?”

He sighs through his nose and glances at Damian again. “She’s weak. Very weak.” He looks at Lia again. “Don’t stay too long. She needs her rest.”

With the way Damian’s jaw tenses, I understand what Dr. Lowell is saying: there’s nothing more he can do.

“Come on, Lia,” Damian says, reaching out to our daughter.

Lia takes his hand in one of hers. She grabs mine in the other, and together we walk inside. When Lia sees Olivia, she lets go of me, silently stepping forward to the bed.

I stay back, giving them the moment. But even from where I stand I can see the ghostly white of Olivia’s skin. Her eyes are sunken in, and her lips are the palest of pink. On the pillow, her bald head barely makes an indentation.

“Lia,” the little girl rasps out, her mouth turning up in a smile. “You came!”

“Olivia.” Lia takes her hand. “I’m so sorry you’re sick.”

“Me too, but I’m happy you’re here.” She turns her head and coughs before continuing, “You’re my best friend.”

“Oh, here,” Damian says, pulling out a piece of paper from his back pocket. “I thought you should be the one to give this to her.”

Olivia smiles at him. Then she unfolds the paper and gives it to Lia. “I made this…for you. To remember me.”

“Thank you,” Lia says.

“The bottom…it says…‘Thank you, Lia. Friendship
really is
magic.’” Olivia pants and coughs again.

Lia looks up at Damian, and I see a tear slip down her cheek. Damian wraps an arm around her shoulders. Lia wipes it away before she faces her friend.

“Don’t give up, Olivia,” Lia sobs. “Please. There’s always hope.”

Olivia nods. “I know. I won’t.”

Chapter 40

Damian

Even though she was quiet in the car, Lia’s eyes light up when she sees the tree with presents loaded underneath. A massive stuffed Twilight Sparkle sits in the corner. Her jaw drops open, and she looks up at me.

“Are those for me?” she asks, half timid, half excited.

Ellie’s expression is priceless too, and I lean in and kiss her for it. “You didn’t…” she murmurs.

I smirk. “Of course I did.”

She blushes, and it’s the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen. I grin as I pick Lia up.

“Tomorrow night we’ll do the whole Christmas shebang. Even invite your other grandparents too,” I offer, flicking my eyes to Ellie. She smiles.

“Yes! Yes!” Lia exclaims and throws her arms around my neck. “You’re the best daddy in the whole wide world!”

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. “Even if I say it’s bedtime right now?” I ask.

Excitement drains out of her as if she suddenly realized she’d forgotten her favorite pony toy back in Florida. “Do I have to?” she whines, flopping her weight on me.

“It’s late,” Ellie helps, and I figure she’s less likely to cave than I am at the moment. If it weren’t for what I need to do next, I’d let Lia stay up until she dozed off on her own.

“Fiiiiiine,” Lia drawls out.

She hugs my neck. Her head rests on my shoulder as we walk up the staircase. We go past my old bedroom and Liam’s, to one of the guest bedrooms—the one Mom decorated in purple pastels in hopes that one day her granddaughters would sleep there.

Ellie gets her ready with her favorite My Little Pony jammies, and Lia jumps up in the queen-size bed that’s way too big for her. I tuck her in. Ellie and I kiss her goodnight.

“Sleep tight, babygirl,” I say.

“I love you, Daddy.”

I brush blonde hair away from the face of the little girl who’s changed my life.

“I love you too, my Lia.”

~*~

I take a deep breath. Grip the box a little
tighter. This is it.

“What’s up there?” Ellie asks, motioning toward the door we’re standing at.

“The attic,” I answer.

“I know, but…”

I breathe deep again. Face Ellie. “Something I have to do.”

She tilts her head, blonde hair falling over a shoulder. “You have to go to the attic?”

I nod. “Yeah. And I’d like you to come with me.”

“If that’s what you want,” she replies softly.

We walk up the stairs hand in hand. At the top, I flip on the light. I haven’t been up here since I was a kid, when Liam and I used it to play hide and seek.

Now, it stores all of his and mom’s things—the ones we couldn’t get rid of but didn’t want to see, either. There’s also old furniture and crap. Stuff I’m not sure where it came from.

Ellie squeezes my hand as her gaze lands on something familiar. She lets go and moves toward the wall. On the desk, there’s a picture of her and Liam at prom, and Liam’s tux hangs on a hat rack beside it. She fingers the sleeves and brushes the lapels.

Then, she picks up a framed certificate, blows off the dust, and smiles. I step up behind her.

“This was so stupid. As seniors, we had to vote on all these dumb categories for each other, and the winners got an award. Liam cleaned up, winning a bunch of different ones: hottest guy, smartest guy, nicest car, best smile, most unavailable. But this one?” She flips it around to show me. “This one he was the most proud of—Messiest Locker.”

I snicker. “Probably because it seemed out of character to everyone.”

Ellie leans against the desk, facing me. “It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about Liam. I’ve…” She pauses. “I’ve spent the last few years thinking about you.”

I reach down and touch her cheek, and she turns into my palm and kisses it.

“I spent a lot of time feeling guilty for loving you,” she continues. “Because of Liam, but…he was gone. And by the time I began to accept that, you’d found Kate.”

“I’m sorry, Elle,” I say, because I am. I never meant to hurt her.

“It’s okay. It all worked out, right?”

I laugh, shaking my head at the realization that just popped in my head.

“What?” Ellie says, my amusement confusing her.

“Kate used to say that all the time. That everything would work out in the end. I never believed her. I guess I didn’t consider that my end and her end were two different things.”

Ellie frowns and stares at her feet. “She sounds pretty wonderful.”

I lift Ellie’s chin so she’s looking at me. “She was. But so are you. Kate’s part of my past, and you’re my future. You and Lia.” I cup her face, gaze into those beautiful eyes. “I love you, Elle. Now and always.”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Anything.”

“I know you blame yourself for Liam’s and Nora’s death. Maybe Kate’s, I’m not sure, but it’s not your fault. They loved you no matter what.”

I don’t remember telling her that, but it’s strange. I’m relieved she knows. “Yeah. That’s going to take me longer to sort out.”

She presses her palm over my heart. “I understand. I just wanted to tell you I’ll be there.”

I lean down. Kiss her. Feel her soft lips against mine to seal the promise.

~*~

Ellie stands behind me, her knees touching my back as I sit. Her being here while I do this makes it easier. Makes me stronger.

I open the box of Kate’s stuff for the last time. All the contents are there, including a rose from her funeral. I pull out her diary. Flip to the very last blank page and write.

Dear Katie,

It took me awhile. Almost five years, but I understand now. Katie, you gave me wings, and I’m finally starting to fly. It’s beautiful up here.

There’s so much I regret. Words I didn’t say. Things I didn’t do. I realize now, though, that I can’t go back. I’m moving on. Accepting the mistakes I’ve made because I can’t change them.

I’ve held on to you for a long time. I thought if I let you go, then what we shared wouldn’t be real.

But Katie, I’m ready now. You showed me who I could be. And I want to be that person for the rest of my life.

Someone once told me that letting someone go doesn’t mean you forget them. It means you love them from here and move on with your life like they would have wanted.

That’s what your fifth wish was about, right?

Katie. I’m finally doing it.

All five wishes are now complete.

Love Always, Damian

Ellie’s hand rests on my shoulder. I reach up and squeeze it.

“Here,” she says, kneeling beside me. She gives me the picture of Lia I keep in my wallet, the one from the diner when I first found out about her. “So Kate knows how your story ends.”

I take the photo, slip it behind the last page, and close Kate’s diary. Then I place it back in the box that’s been under my bed for almost five years.

I stand up and slap off the dust on my jeans. Scanning the room, I find the perfect spot. I pick up the box. It surprises me how light it seems now that I’m finally doing what she asked.

In the very back corner is my mother’s vanity. On top lies her brush, some jewelry, and the Celtic cross she kept on the nightstand, the one I designed my tattoo after.

I can’t think of a better place to fulfill Kate’s final wish for me.
My last wish, Damian, is that once you’ve read my diary, you’ll put it in a box. Place it in the attic somewhere and leave it there. Let it collect dust.

I set the box beside the cross and turn around. Taking Ellie’s hand, I close my eyes for a moment. Kate’s face appears, and she smiles her approval. I open my eyes. Give Ellie’s hand a squeeze, and together we leave, closing the door behind us.

That’s not all, though. You have a whole life in front of you. Don’t waste it. Don’t dwell on the past. Move forward.

Damian, my love, my final wish is for you to let me go.

“Tell me, Elle,” I ask after we’ve descended the staircase. “How does my story end?”

Ellie grins and tucks her bottom lip between her teeth. She circles her arms around my waist. Rises up on her tip-toes and kisses me. “It’s going to be a happily ever after.”