Love and Food (15 page)

“Well, I mine as well just come out with it, I slept with Ethan,” she says, feeling herself starting to blush as she opens the bottle of wine.

“You what!” Monica exclaims.

“I slept with Ethan and it was beyond amazing.”

“I knew it was going to happen sooner or later.  I saw the way he looked at you.  He looked at you like he was the hunter and you were his prey.”

“Monica, come on,” she says, wondering why she never saw him look at her that way.

“I’m serious.  I tried to tell you that, but you always just brushed me off, so I just let it go.  When you told me that you broke up with Kyle, I knew that Ethan was going to swoop in like some sort of knight in shining armor.”

“Monica, you’re so dramatic.  It was nothing like that.  He came over, we drank some wine and one thing led to another.”

“So, you’re saying it was an accident?”

“I guess so, yeah.”

“Okay, let’s go with it was an accident, but how do you feel about it now?  Can you see yourself being with Ethan?”

“I’m going to say yes, but honestly, I don’t know.”

“What’s not to know?  Do you like the guy or not?  Does he get your engines revving or not?  It’s not that hard, Haillee.  Does he float your boat or not?”

“Being with Ethan was amazing.  He’s so sweet and so gentle.  He makes me laugh, but there’s a problem.”

“There’s only one thing, or person rather, who would be a problem and that would be Kyle.  It’s Kyle, right?”

“It’s Kyle.  He showed up at the office and ambushed me.  He backed me into a corner and kissed me.  I couldn’t get away and guess who showed up?”

“Oh, no.  He didn’t!”

“He did and with a huge bouquet of the most beautiful flowers.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me to call him when I’ve made up my mind and I know what I want.”

“So, have you made up you mind?  It seems like an easy decision to me,” Monica says, shaking her head. 

“Why are you shaking your head?”

“Because I know you, Haillee.  You have to make everything more difficult than it has to be.”

“I do not!”

“You do and you’ve been that way as long as I can remember, but who cares about that, what’s your decision?  Is it going to be Ethan or Kyle?  Please say Ethan.”

“I don’t know, Monica.  When Kyle kissed me, I felt something.”

“You have got to be kidding me!  Kyle has betrayed you in the worst way and he didn’t just do it once, he did it twice!”

“I know, but I can’t deny how I reacted when he kissed me.”

“Haillee, usually I would say follow your heart, but this time I’m not going to say that.  Kyle is bad news.  You need to forget that he ever existed and move on to better things.  Ethan is better things.  Kyle is just going to keep on hurting you.”

“I know, but it’s hard to forget our history.”

“Haillee, it’s bad history.  If you go back to Kyle, you’re setting yourself up for more disappointment and more heartache.  Kyle is not good for you.  When you’re with Ethan, how does he make you feel?”

“He makes me feel amazing, but that’s expected, right?  That’s how all relationships start.  You feel great at first and then trouble begins.”

“Every relationship has ups and downs.  That’s a fact.  There are no perfect relationships, but I believe in my heart that Kyle is not the one for you.  I think that you can do better and I think that you should give Ethan a shot and see where things go.  I don’t think that Kyle is worth any more of your time or your effort.”

“You’re probably right, but I have to think things over.  Ethan is great.  He’s so wonderful and I would love to give it a try, but I can’t just forget about Kyle.”

Monica groans.  “Kyle is scum, Haillee.  I hate to say it, because I liked him up until he cheated on you, but it’s time to let him go.  It’s time to say goodbye and let him go and ruin someone else’s life.  All he’s done lately is leave destruction and waste in his wake.  He’s just going to keep on breaking your heart.  I don’t believe that things are going to get better between the two of you.  The man can’t keep his dick in his pants.  I don’t think he wants to keep his dick in his pants.  Give Ethan a shot, Haillee.”

              “It’s easier said than done, Monica.  I wish that I could shut off the part of my brain that still thinks about Kyle and remembers the times we had together.  I wish I would wake up tomorrow and have forgotten that I ever knew Kyle.  I wish I could forget his face and his name.”

              “It takes time.  You know what they say; the best way to get over someone is to find someone to take their place.  You have Ethan to help you forget.”

              “Ethan deserves better than to just be a rebound.”

              “Is that what he would be, Haillee?  Do you see him as just a rebound?  I see the way your eyes light up when you speak about him.  I can tell that you really like him and he’s not just some fling.  Move on, Haillee.  I believe you’re in a time of your life of new beginnings.  You’re going to have a new restaurant and it’s time for a new relationship.  It’s time to leave the old, dead things behind.  Keeping Kyle around would just be dragging around the old life.  Close the chapter, Haillee.  I say, turn the page.”

              She takes a huge sip of wine and thinks about what her friend has said.  Monica has never steered her wrong – ever.  Monica is the least judgmental person she has ever known.  She very rarely speaks ill of anyone, so the way she speaks about Kyle is concerning.  Monica is always the first person to give someone the benefit of the doubt, so to hear her speak about Kyle the way she is, she believes Monica has given up on Kyle and doesn’t believe in his character anymore.  Kyle has lost Monica’s endorsement and it’s take a lot for that to happen.

              “Monica, you’re right.  I know you are.  I guess I just needed to hear someone say it out loud to me.  I guess I just needed someone to remind me I’ve made the right decision ending things with Kyle.  Kyle kissing me in my office just threw me off for a second.  It made me lose focus and stumble backwards.  I will never let it happen again.  Kyle is not going to convince me again that we should be together because deep down I know, in my heart, that it’s not true.  I would like it if Ethan would be my future.  I’m going to give him a genuine shot.”

              “Whatever you decide, the decision is yours, but I think that if you chose to go with Ethan, you will be making the right decision.  Even if things between you and Ethan go awry, it’s time to end things with Kyle.”

              “Ethan may have decided that he doesn’t want to be with me now, after what he witnessed in my office.”

              “He may, but that doesn’t change the fact that Kyle is not good for you.  At this point, all you can do is apologize to Ethan and hope for the best.  If he doesn’t want to be with you any longer, than it wasn’t meant to be.  It just means that there is someone else out there for you and it’s not Kyle.”

              “I’m going to apologize to Ethan and tell him how I feel.”

              “Well, there is no time like the present.”

              “You think that I should go over there right now?”

              “Why not?  I say the sooner, the better – full steam ahead.”

              “You know what; I’m going to do it.”

              “Good.  You might want to change first.”

              She looks down at her clothes.  Monica is right.  Yoga pants and a t-shirt are probably not appropriate apologizing attire.  When she begs for Ethan’s forgiveness and explains to him what happened, she wants to look her best.  She wants to be irresistible.  She wants refusal to not be an option.  She wants Ethan to take one look at her and forget everything that happened.  She wants to feel his arms around her again.

              “Can you help me pick something out,” she asks Monica.  “I need your expertise.”

              “Of course.  When I’m through with you, Ethan Saint is never going to let you go.  My hope is that when he sees you, you’re clothes won’t be on for long.”

              The both laugh.  “You’re bad.”

              “Please.  Tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing,” Monica says, grabbing her by the hand and leading her into her bedroom.

Chapter 11

              She steers her car onto Sycamore Street.  She’s nervous.  Her hands are sweaty as she grips the steering wheel and pulls into a parking spot.  She knows Ethan is home.  She seen his car parked a few spaces behind hers.  She pulls down the driver’s side mirror and inspects the makeup that Monica carefully applied to her bare face.  Her friend is a magician.  She knows she looks hot, but will it be enough to wiggle her way back into Ethan’s good graces.  She hopes so.

              She carefully walks to the front doors of his condominium rehearsing what she’s going to say to him in mind.  That is if he lets her in.  She scans through the directory of his building.  When she reaches E. Saint, her hands start to shake.  She contemplates backing out before she pushes the buzzer.  Will she be able to take it if he rejects her? 

“What do you have to lose?” she says out loud, before committing and pushing the buzzer.  “A lot,” she says as the buzzer rings.

“Hello,” Ethan says, his voice filling the doorway.  Hearing his voice makes her tingle.  She didn’t realize how much she missed him until right now.  Her heart starts to beat faster.

“Ethan.  It’s Haillee,” she says into the intercom.  She braces for his response.

“Haillee.  Hi.  Come up,” he says, letting her in.

As she rides up the elevator, she takes several deep breaths.  He didn’t tell her to go away, so that’s a step in the right direction.  When she gets off the elevator, he’s standing in the doorway of his condominium waiting for her.

“Wow,” he says when she is close enough.  “You look amazing.”

Thank you Monica
, she says inside her head.  “Thanks.  You look good,” she says, admiring his broad shoulders and the way he fills out his deep blue jeans. 

“Come in,” he says, motioning for her to come inside.  Once the door to his condominium is closed, he wraps his arms from behind her and pulls her close.  “I have no idea why you’re here, but I’m really glad to see you,” he says into her ear.

She spins around to face him.  “I’m here because I want to apologize and explain to you what you saw in my office the other day.”

“Okay,” he says, kissing her.  She kisses him back.  She missed his soft lips.  “Let’s sit down,” he says, leading her to the sofa.

“You’re condo is really nice.  It’s better than I expected.  Very chic.”

“Thanks.  I had it professionally decorated.  I wish I could take credit, but I can’t.”

“Well, the way that you designed the restaurant, I think you sell yourself short.  You’re too humble, Ethan Saint.”

“You’re too kind, Haillee Simpson.  Sit,” he says, motioning to the sofa.

When she is comfortable, she takes a deep breath before speaking.  She gathers herself.  She wants what she is going to say next to come out exactly right.  She doesn’t want any misunderstandings.  She wants how she feels to be crystal clear.  “Ethan, I think that you misunderstood what you saw the other day.”

“How so?  My vision is pretty good.  It’s 20/20, in fact.”

“Kyle came to the office and he pushed himself on me.  What you saw was him, after he backed me into a corner, so I couldn’t get away, kissing me.  He kissed me.  I wanted no part in what he was doing.”

“So, he wants you back.”

“That’s what he says, but I don’t believe it for a second.  I think that Kyle just wants to be the one in control.  When I broke up with him, he lost the control he had over me.”

“So, what exactly are you saying?”

“What I’m saying is that I want to be with you.  I don’t want Kyle in any way, shape, or form.  What I had with Kyle is ancient history.”

“Are you sure about that?  You and Kyle were together for a very long time.”

“Believe me when I say, it’s over between us.  I would be more than overjoyed if I never saw him again.  I didn’t even want him in my office that day.  I hadn’t expected him and I sure as hell didn’t invite him.  He does what he wants.”