Love and Other Wicked Games (A Wicked Game Novel) (11 page)

“What of it?” Ellie crossed her arms, still calm and collected.

“His father worked for mine.”

“Ah. So I was right.”

“What?” Cal asked blankly as he looked up to her.

“That you came from money.”

“Yes.” Cal didn’t bother to ask how she knew and he didn’t care. As long as she didn’t know who he was then none of it mattered right now. He sighed and looked back down to the floor as he continued.

“My father’s ‘friends’ didn’t like it, our friendship. They said it was unsuitable, but I just couldn’t understand how it was unsuitable to associate with a kind person. And my father didn’t seem to care so I didn’t either…Of course at that time I was unaware that my father only cared about himself and his money… but that’s beside the point.” Cal chuckled once and shook his head. “So, needless to say we remained friends anyway, all through our boyhood and adolescence. We grew together, we learned, and we cared. And he saved my butt many more times than I care to admit.” Cal chuckled again. “I was quite a troublemaker. Can you imagine?”

Ellie raised a brow. “I never would have guessed.”

“He was my best friend. And I might even go as far as to say he was the only real friend I ever had. I mean, I’ve had others. Acquaintances is probably more apt, though some might say they were my friends. None of them were quite like Hart, though. We were inseparable. And lucky for me because, God, he wouldn’t take my crap. And what was better, he never let me give it to others.” Cal breathed in deeply. “But all good things come to an end, do they not?”

“I suppose sometimes they do.”

“Well, we grew up and everything changed. Not the way we cared for each other, no, that never went away. But we did. We went away from where we grew up. I went off to University and Hart, well, he went off to work in a mill.”

My father’s mill.

Ellie shifted uncomfortably and then after a moment she closed the distance between them and stood silently next to the bed.

“I don’t know what you may have heard, but University gentlemen are not actually prone to gentleness. In anything or to anyone. And alone on my own, for the first time—and most importantly without Hart—I was lost. When I came home that first winter on break, Hart was waiting to greet me. I remember thinking how thin and tired he looked and how much older he’d grown in such a short amount of time. But God, if he wasn’t smiling that same old caring smile he’d always had. I remember that so clearly… I remember what happened next even more clearly....”

Cal’s stomach turned and he clenched his teeth to hold back the bile. “I had brought some ‘friends’ back with me for the holiday and when they saw Hart standing there one of them threw their bags at him… and I didn’t protest. I turned a blind eye to him without a second care. Like he wasn’t even there. Like he didn’t matter. Hart just looked at me and I could see his eyes sink and now, God, it kills me. I have nightmares about that look.” Cal buried his head in his hands.

“But at the time, the only thing I cared about was that he wasn’t one of ‘us’. He didn’t fit into my new life and new identity at the University. He didn’t fit in with my new ‘friends’. He didn’t come from money and even worse he was a laborer. And somehow that made him something less; less of a man, less of a person. But he wasn’t less. He was more. More than all of us in that room put together. More than all of us could have ever even hoped to be. Because he didn’t say a word. He picked up the bags and nodded his head and left the room. And he smiled at me on the way out.
He smiled
.”

Cal’s stomach turned again but there was nothing in it to come up but the bile. He coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. From the corner of his eye he saw Ellie looking around for something to hand him. Finding nothing suitable she lifted up the hem of her dress and tore a small strip of cloth from her petticoat, which she handed to him. He wiped his mouth again as he continued.

“That was the last time I saw him. I went back to school after that break and I didn’t return home. I hated everything and everyone, or so I thought… but really I only hated myself. And so I hid away at school. I finished my education at least, but I became colder and angrier and bitterer. I tried to forget all about my former life and my family and Hart, and most importantly the person I used to be before University. But I couldn’t hide forever… My father passed last year after a sudden illness and I had to come back home for the funeral and to settle his estate. I hadn’t been home in over a decade, not since that winter break that I last saw Hart. And I was hurting. Deeply.

“I hadn’t really wanted to see him but I was surprised that Hart wasn’t at the service. Hart’s father was there though, and so I made some jab to him about his son’s absence. I guess I thought it would make me feel better but it didn’t do anything of the sort. It was cruel and awful all on its own, but I had no idea how awful it truly way. I mean, Hart’s father just stared at me—
stared
—like he couldn’t believe what I was saying. I couldn’t even believe what I was saying, how cruel I was being, but that wasn’t the problem.

“‘Well, I wouldn’t think he would be here, son,’ Hart’s father told me with the click of a tongue. ‘What with him passing on at the mill some five years ago now.’” He sniffed. “I remember very little after that.”

Cal heard Ellie’s sharp intake of breath and felt a soft hand lower gently onto his shoulder.

“Some while later I learned the whole story. That he’d worked nearly two days straight without even so much as five minutes to eat or sleep. That’s he’d seen another man, who’d been at work even longer, doze off and fall. That he’d rushed in to save him, and he had, but he’d lost his own life in exchange… And apparently I’d just ignored the correspondence from his father when he wrote to tell me what had happened.” Cal clenched his teeth and rolled his mouth around in a tight circle. “To the very end Hart was a better man than I could ever hope to be and the world is a lesser place without him.”

Ellie’s hand began to rest more comfortably on his shoulder and he inhaled deeply. “That’s when I began to look into the mills. How they were run, how the people were treated. I couldn’t pretend anymore and I wanted to do something. I had to. I owed that much to Hart and his memory.”

“Is that why you’re being followed?” Ellie sat down next to him and placed her hand on his knee.

Cal shook his head. “I’ve said too much already.”

And he had. But he couldn’t ignore the part of him that wanted to tell her the truth. Now that he knew how she felt, and now that he knew how strong and caring and compassionate she was, telling her might be the right thing to do. She had given him everything of herself and he felt he owed her the same, no matter what it might mean for him. If she knew who he was and what he was trying to do, the changes he planned on making to the mills, perhaps then she would feel comforted and hopeful. He was partially responsible for her pain and how she felt. He at least owed her some relief.

And maybe she would accept him and the truth after all.

Maybe.

“But…” Ellie bit her lip. “Thank you. For sharing that with me.”

“And thank you,” Cal said as he laid his hand over hers and continued to ponder the decision. “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”

“Oh, no. Mine was a mere child’s tale compared to yours.”

Cal chanced it and hugged her again. As before, she did not resist. “Not to you it was not. My story does not invalidate yours. Neither do my feelings.”

“No, I suppose not. But those feelings do feel rather unimportant in the scheme of things. And I didn’t say it earlier but I wasn’t frightened. You said I must have been, but I wasn’t. So, don’t feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for those people.” She wiped her nose and looked up into his eyes. “And don’t feel sorry for asking me about it. It feels good to know you care. And it’s not as if any of this is your fault anyway.”

Cal felt his mouth twinge. What would she do if he told her the truth? Would she still feel that way? She was a strong woman but was she that strong?

Was he strong enough to risk it?

“Well, I asked you to recount your story, Ellie, and I told you mine. So that part is my fault at least. And now because of it, you’re crying, again. This situation has obviously taken a powerful hold on you.” He pulled her in tight. “And if not fear then what is it?”

“This wasn’t the first time. I’ve seen them protest before and they don’t want to hurt anyone. They just want someone to care. They just want to be heard. It’s sad. Incredibly sad and moving but it’s not frightening.” She shrugged in his arms. “I wasn’t frightened at all. Well, at least not because of the workers.”

“Then you
were
frightened? What of?”

“The wickedness of people,” she said absolutely. “I’m frightened that anyone can treat another human being the way those workers have been treated.”

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

“And that—that—
Duke of McAlister
.” Ellie spat the name out like venom. “I—I can’t even say his name without my blood boiling. I mean doesn’t he have enough money from his—his—Duchy or whatever the hell it’s called? You know his mills are the ones that Mandy’s family worked in. And those ones are just…” She shook her head. “They’re the worst…”

Bloody hell. And just when we were starting to like each other.
This was just his luck.

He’d found someone else who understood his plight and his feelings; one intelligent, caring woman with a heart of gold… who also just so happened to think he was an absolute monster. And maybe he was for dragging her into this situation in the first place. He might be better off banging his head against the wall than trying to tell her the truth now.

What a mess he’d gotten himself into and what a lie this was all becoming. Cal was horribly conflicted.

“That’s the mill where Hart worked as well…” Cal told Ellie after an extended pause. It was another half-truth.

“Ugh! See?” Ellie threw her hands in the air and then slapped them back down on her legs. “Is there anyone whose life this man has not ruined with his selfishness?”

He squeezed her hand to reassure her only to realize what an absurd idea that was. She was talking about him after all. Surprisingly, though, she smiled and pulled herself in by wrapping both hands around his left arm.

Cal laughed quietly.

“What?” she asked looking up to him.

“You.”

“What about me?” She exhaled slowly. “Am I doing it again? Am I rambling?”

“No. That’s not it.” He shrugged and smiled. “That you’re here with me and you’re not scared and you seem to trust me. You have every reason to run away from me, to run in the opposite direction as fast as you can. Yet you run
with
me instead. It makes no sense.”

“It makes perfect sense to me.”

“How so?”

“Until you came along the most exciting thing I’d ever done in my life was to leave the house without my corset on.” She covered her mouth and giggled. “Oh, my. I don’t know why I told you that. I—I’ve never told anyone that.” She giggled again and covered her cheeks which were now a very pleasing shade of pink. “I—I didn’t even mean to do it! It was an accident!”

Now this was interesting. And unexpected. “How do you accidently forget such a major piece of clothing?”

She shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms. “It was just… one of those days.”

“Must have been quite a day.”

“Not particularly. I mean, I
was
running late for an important dress fitting.”

“Did you have an important party to attend?” he teased.

“No, no! Not for me!” she answered with a chuckle. “I told you, my parents own a dress shop. So, I was the one
preforming
the fitting… For—for the Dowager Countess, Lady Rivenhall. We make all of her dresses. Actually, that’s why I was out yesterday. I was supposed to be picking up a parcel of textiles to make a dress for—for her annual birthday gala… you know, the one where she shows everyone how—just how…
wonderful
she is?” Ellie choked on a nervous laugh. “Anyway, that—that was the dress I was fitting on that day too. Another birthday party dress. And it was just—I just couldn’t… She yelled at me! And then I just…”

As her voice trailed off Ellie shivered, probably just from the thought of the woman.

Cal felt like shivering as well.
Lady Rivenhall
. As much as he’d despised the late earl, Cal had found him easier to handle than old Lady Rivenhall. Her husband’s passing had left her with boat loads of money, shares in Cal’s company, and no children… only nieces and nephews trying to squabble their way into her will. He didn’t blame her for having ice in her heart, but that didn’t mean he had to like the woman. The problem was that she liked him a great deal. And she loved dancing with him. If he never had to dance with her at a party again it would be too soon, but Cal couldn’t ignore the chance of swaying her opinion about the reforms. So dance, he did.

“Let me guess: it was just because you were running late. You were running late and you forgot your corset because something flustered you?” Cal asked trying not to think about the fact that besides knowing his name, Ellie also knew one of his shareholders. But this precarious coincidence shouldn’t have surprised him a bit at this point.

“Why—why yes. How did you know?” She pursed her lips. “Oh my. Just telling a story about her and I’m doing it again aren’t I?”

“Yes, yes you are,” Cal said with a smile. “But don’t feel so bad. Anyone who can make it through an encounter with the Lady Rivenhall
without
becoming flustered can’t possibly be human. Her personality is so renowned it has its own bloody folktales… I’d count yourself lucky that a corset was the only thing you forgot!”

“I suppose you’re right,” she said with a long sigh. “And as horribly scandalous as it was, it wasn’t much excitement at all. I was more scared than anything that someone would find out and by the time I made it to her villa after running back to the shop to put my corset on, I was so exhausted I nearly fell asleep during the fitting. My pins pricked the Countess a few more times than I’m proud to admit.”