Love and War: The Coltrane Saga, Book 1 (7 page)

“I’m going to feel that everybody is whispering about me,” she said dejectedly, the happy glow she’d felt suddenly disappearing. “I wish it hadn’t happened, but Luke brought it on, and I did what I had to do.”

“I’m sure of that,” he assured her. “Everyone is tense these days. People say things in the heat of the moment, then regret it later. Don’t you worry about anything—just have a good time, and let me show you off to everyone.”

In her usually blunt way, Kitty asked, “Is Nancy going to be there?”

“I’m afraid so,” he said, remembering the scene with his mother. “She’s my second cousin, you know, and the whole family is gathering to honor Mr. Edwards. But don’t you worry about Nancy. That relationship has been forced upon me by my mother, and I’m not going to be pushed into anything. I think everyone knows that by now. I’ve got my eyes on you, Kitty, and don’t forget it.”

He leaned closer, cupping her face in his hand as his lips touched hers. Kitty’s partially exposed breasts were pushed against his ruffled shirt, and she felt his body shuddering as he pulled away and said gruffly, “I’ve got to control myself better than that, or I’ll make a fool out of myself.”

For a moment, she didn’t know what he meant, but then it dawned on her, and, without thinking of what she was doing, her eyes went to his tight fawn trousers. “Oh,” she gasped, instantly embarrassed that she had looked, turning her face away.

“It’s all right, Kitty,” Nathan laughed, drawing her close to him once again. “I’m only human, you know, and that dress you’re wearing is enough to make any man wild with desire.”

She chewed her lower lip nervously, not knowing what to say. He turned her face with his fingertips, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed. You want me, too, don’t you? I can feel it, Kitty, and I think we’ve both felt it for a long time but neither of us did anything about it.”

“I would never…” she gasped, and he quickly interrupted, “I know you wouldn’t, and I would never ask you to, but I am going to ask you to marry me, Kitty, and soon. I love you, you know…”

No, she hadn’t known, and as his lips came down on hers once again, her hand slipped behind his head to pull him even closer. He was the one man she could love, and maybe she already loved him. Her heart was pounding furiously, alive and happy with the emotions of joy surging through her.

When he did ask, she wondered wildly, what would her answer be? The talk of war—it made everything erratic in people’s lives now. But surely, there would be a way for the two of them to share a love.

The carriage hit a bump in the road, and they sprang apart. “We’re almost there,” Nathan said, pulling away to straighten his coat and fluff out the ruffles of his linen shirt. Kitty pushed at her hair, piled high in curls on top of her head and trailing down her back onto bare shoulders. She knew it wasn’t necessary to pinch her cheeks to make them rosy. Her insides were on fire, and she could feel the flame that crept into her face.

The house came into view. Beautiful. The perfect symmetry of tall white columns, wide verandas. The most beautiful house she had ever seen.

The yard was filled with people, and she could see the women in their finest hoop dresses, bright colors contrasting against the men resplendent in short coats and fawn and gray trousers. The shrieks and laughter of children playing on the wide, sprawling lawn reached her ears, and she smiled. It was going to be a grand party, and she shivered with anticipation.

Beneath the grove of pecan trees, where the branches were not quite stripped of leaves and would offer some shade, long trestled picnic tables, covered with fine linen cloths, had been placed. The setting was far enough away from the long barbecue pits to avoid the smoke from the red embers with the meat turning on spits above, juices dripping down to hiss upon the coals.

The smell of crisp fresh pork tickled her nostrils deliciously, mingled with the succulent odors of barbecue sauce and Brunswick stew bubbling in huge, iron wash- pots. She could see black house servants bustling about the tables with bowls of rich roasted yams and crisp, chopped cabbage.

Their carriage moved around the tree-lined curving driveway, which was filled with saddle horses and carriages. Their driver brought them to a stop directly at the front steps. Nathan moved to get out so that he could help her descend, and Kitty checked the bodice of her dress one last time before making her appearance. She had pulled up the tight stretch of taffeta so that the pinkness of her nipples did not show—still, the dip was perhaps an inch lower than the other young ladies’ dresses that she had seen, and if she happened to lean over, her breasts would be exposed. But no matter, she thought defiantly, everyone would be talking about her, anyway, after that horrible scene in town.

Nathan reached for her through the open carriage door, his hands fastening about her tiny waist. As he lifted her up, his lips were close enough to whisper, “God, you’re so beautiful, Kitty…”

Once again the warmth of pleasure pounded into her face, and a shiver of happiness spread through her body. But the glow was quickly dimmed once her feet touched the ground, and she realized that everyone milling about had turned to stare—and not with the admiration and envy she had hoped for. The men looked at her with curious eyes, and the women were obviously hostile. A few of them busily whispered back and forth behind their nervously fluttering fans, as they glared at her.

Chin jutting high, Kitty lifted her skirts as Nathan took her arm, and started up the steps. She was not going to let them bother her. This day belonged to Nathan, and no one else mattered.

And then she found herself staring up into the angry eyes of Nathan’s mother, Lavinia Collins. Her gaze took in the low bodice disapprovingly, and her lips tightened even more on her pinched face. She was a short woman, rather dumpy, Kitty thought. Her dress was brown taffeta, stiff and high-collared with a trim of fine lace. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She had probably once been a pretty woman, but now she looked unpleasant and…Kitty searched for the right word…
sour
. That was it.

She was standing beside Aaron Collins, and it was impossible to tell how he reacted to her presence. Known for his charm, Aaron would never be so ill-mannered as to make a guest feel uncomfortable in his home. Bowing graciously, he kissed the hand Kitty extended to him as Nathan made the introductions.

“I’ve heard so much about you from my son, Kitty,” he said quietly. “I feel as though I should know you, since I’ve been seeing you with your father delivering honey ever since you were a child.”

Kitty thought he resembled Nathan, except that his hair was salt-and-pepper gray, and he was taller, heavier, but still a fine figure of a man with deep-set eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled.

“Welcome to Collins Manor.” Aaron bowed again slightly.

Lavinia Collins did not speak, merely nodding her head curtly as the two of them passed. “She’s mad because you asked me here, isn’t she?” Kitty whispered to Nathan as they moved on up the steps.

“Don’t pay any mind to her. If Mother doesn’t get her way about everything, she can be rather unpleasant. Daddy warned her about being polite, but I guess she didn’t trust herself and chose to keep silent instead.”

“Then she
is
mad with you for bringing me here,” Kitty whispered again, this time with an urgency.

“I think Nancy must’ve had one of her tantrums and gone crying to Mother when she found out I had no intention of bringing her here today. I told you, Kitty, I’m not going to be pushed into anything, and those two started talking marriage once the war talk got stronger. If I marry anybody, it’s going to be you.” He squeezed her arm, smiling down at her, and she thought she would melt under his gaze.

They reached the top of the stairs and the sun-splashed veranda where several of Nathan’s young friends surged upon them. They exchanged greetings, and then someone blurted out, “Did you shoot to kill Tate, Kitty, or did you mean to only wound him?”

“He’s still alive, isn’t he?” Her voice came out sharper than she intended, and an awkward silence followed. She did not want to spend the afternoon reliving something she would rather forget.

“It’s over with now,” Nathan spoke firmly. “Let’s just forget about it.”

“I agree.”

Kitty turned to find herself looking into the sad eyes of David Stoner, and she suddenly felt uncomfortable. Was it a year ago that he had proposed to her? She couldn’t remember. She had liked David a lot—and still did. He was a handsome young man, with reddish-brown hair and deep green eyes, a firmness to his face that gave him character and an air of wisdom in spite of his youth. But she didn’t love him, and she had told him so. With tears in his eyes, he had sworn to her that he could never love another the way he did her. Ever since, when they met, he looked at her with the same expression of sadness.

He looked from her to Nathan and nodded. It was more than a greeting, Kitty knew. He was acknowledging their relationship, painful though it was.

“Ahh, here’s our guest of honor.” The tension of the moment was dispelled as Nathan turned to greet the short, plump man with the sharp, piercing eyes and rather long, hooked nose. “May I present Weldon Edwards from Warrenton.”

He kissed Kitty’s hand. She thought his manner pleasant. He didn’t look like someone hysterically screaming for war and bloodshed.

Attention turned from Kitty to the noted lawyer, as someone asked, “Mr. Edwards, I’m as anxious to get the war started and over with as anyone else. How long do you think it will be before we start fighting?”

“Now that Lincoln’s been elected President,” another added excitedly.

Weldon Edwards thought a moment, then said, “I think the election of Lincoln to the Presidency will trigger the secession of the states of the lower South, but unless we can get North Carolina’s secession movement to grow rapidly, I think the General Assembly, and Governor Ellis, will continue the ‘wait and see’ attitude.

“I’m leaving this afternoon for a secession meeting in Cleveland County,” he told the hovering group. “And next week, we meet in Wilmington. We must try to call a statewide convention of the people to determine a policy for the state—and that policy must be secession, even if it means war.”

Kitty could contain herself no longer. “War, sir? What if secession does bring war, as it surely will. Are these young men here to die for your cause?”

“It’s our cause, too,” Daniel Roberts, the youngest of the group spoke up, striking his fist in the air. “Yes, I’ll die for North Carolina…”

Nathan gripped her arm so tightly that she winced with pain as he steered her away from the group and toward the front doors of the house. “Please, Kitty,” he whispered anxiously. “It’s just not proper for women to get involved in political discussions.”

“I’m not talking about politics.” She jerked out of his grasp and faced him defiantly, not caring who heard. “I’m talking about war—death, bloodshed! And it’s my right to be concerned, too. Being a woman has nothing to do with it. I can get killed by the Yankees as quickly as a man.”

“You aren’t going to get killed. The war won’t last over a few months, and we’ll never let them get this far. Now please, Kitty, people are staring…”

She allowed him to steer her into the entrance foyer, and for the moment, she was so impressed with the opulence of the house that she forgot about the talk of war.

The floors gleamed—the mahogany hand-polished to a high sheen. The walls were covered in soft gold velvet, and high above, a crystal chandelier danced in its cluster of diamond-studded prisms. On either side of the foyer, the carpeted stairway curved upward to the next floor, its railings and banisters entwined with early branches of holly for decoration. Several vases of bright yellow marigolds filled the room with fragrance.

No one was about, and Nathan pressed his lips to her forehead as his fingertips caressed her bare shoulders. “Now you go upstairs to freshen, and I’ll get a plate of barbecue for you. We’ll eat on the back lawn, away from the others.”

“Are you trying to keep me away from everyone because I’m so awful?” she snapped.

“Oh, Kitty, don’t be this way.” He frowned, sighing with exasperation. “I just don’t want any trouble. I want the two of us to be happy and enjoy ourselves, not get into heated debates about war. Isn’t it enough that everyone is whispering about the fact that you shot my father’s overseer?”

“Then why didn’t you just leave me at home if you’re so ashamed of me, Nathan? It isn’t my fault that you hire an overseer who wanders about half the time drunk and sparking for a fight. I…I wish I’d killed him,” she spat out the words furiously, “and I wish I’d stayed home and not come to your party!”

“Kitty…”

She hoisted her skirts and ran up the steps, taking them two at a time, not caring how unladylike it might look.

“Kitty, won’t you please listen?” Nathan pleaded from below. “I didn’t mean to make you mad…”

She didn’t know which direction to turn. Somewhere, she knew, a room would have been designated for female guests to freshen themselves. But which one?

“Are you looking for something, Kitty?”

At the sound of the voice, she whipped her head about to see Nancy Warren standing in the doorway of a nearby room. She was wearing a powdery blue hoop dress, the bodice low but filled in with delicate lace. The sleeves were puffed, and she wore a velvet ribbon around her neck. Her dark brown hair was curled in ringlets about her face.

Nancy would be pretty, Kitty thought fleetingly, if she did not have such a pinched, disapproving, and superior look to her face. Her lips curved upward, brown eyes flashing with malice. “Well, don’t just stand there gawking. You must hurry and get back downstairs before someone snatches Nathan away from you.” She laughed—an ugly sound. “Wouldn’t that be terrible, after the way you threw yourself at him to get him to bring you here today? But why should you worry? As coarse and rough as you are, Kitty, dear, all you have to do is shoot the girl who dares, right?”

Kitty started to reply. All the angry words were dancing on her tongue, waiting to be unleashed. Instead, she laughed. Nancy blinked, bewildered by Kitty’s reaction.