Love Beyond Compare (Book 5 of Morna’s Legacy Series) (19 page)

I scoffed and crossed my arms. Every part of me wanted to believe what she said. “And you think that I’m the right one, do you?”

“Perhaps. I know that he cares a great deal for ye. And I doona believe for a moment that if ye bedded him, he’d wish ye gone the next morning. But how shall ye ever know if ye doona take the chance? Stop fighting against the things that ye want, lass, no while ye have the chance to reach for them.”

“I want to reach for things that are attainable, Isobel—I don’t think Adwen is. Not really.”

“How will ye know that if ye doona open yer heart to him, Jane?”

I reached up to run my fingers through my hair, pulling it into a messy knot, only to release it and start all over. It was a nervous habit I’d had my entire life.
 

“You’re not talking about me opening up my heart, Isobel. You’re talking about me opening up my legs.”

Isobel laughed, enjoying the authenticity of our conversation. She came over next to me and pulled my hands from my hair, holding them in her own to give them a quick squeeze.
 

“Ye doona have to open up yer legs, though I would if I were ye, but ye must at least open yer heart. If ye are worried that he will no longer want ye, ’tis the best way to see if yer fear is worth the worry. If he does indeed behave as ye believe he will, then a curse on him. At least ye will have spent a joyous night of lovemaking with a man so beautiful most lassies will only dream about laying with such a man. Truly, lass, have ye seen him? His teeth are as perfect as yer own. Though on him, I find it far less unsettling.”

Visions of a night spent with Adwen flooded my senses. I was tired of fighting him, tired of preparing myself for the worst just because I’d had so many failed relationships, if you could even call them that. I wanted Adwen—more than I’d wanted any man in years. Even if it didn’t go any further than tonight, what was the point of denying myself?
 

“Fine. Maybe you’re right.”

She smiled, releasing my hands as she showed me to the door. “I usually am, Jane.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll be on my way. You’ve surprised me today, Isobel.”

She winked at me, shocking me again as she swatted my rear when I stepped into the hallway.

“Aye, all women are full of surprises, I suppose. I’d wager Adwen will find that out for himself this evening.”

CHAPTER 24

After leaving Isobel, I first thought it best to wait until after dinner to approach Adwen, but as the morning dragged on, I thought differently. Now that Isobel’s surprisingly blunt tongue and naughty suggestions had torn away any resolve I had to continue denying Adwen, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit across from him at a meal without imagining him naked, and my slack-jawed expression at such an image would be visible to everyone at the dinner table.
 

Besides that, everyone had a tendency to visit after dinner but, in the middle of the afternoon with plenty of hours left until mealtime, everyone was preoccupied doing their own thing. I thought perhaps a little romping would go unnoticed by everyone else in the castle.
 

 
I would regret my actions. I was nearly certain of that, but regret was an emotion I’d experienced far too little of since being thrown into the seventeenth century. In my old life, it seemed I experienced regret over one thing or another on a daily basis. My carefree nature and utter lack of responsibility allowed me to make far too many reckless decisions. While part of me was glad to be in a place where there was less trouble to get into, I also rather missed it. Tonight, I would allow myself another moment of recklessness—for memory’s sake if nothing else.
 

With my courage gathered as much as it would ever be, I stuck my head out of my bedchamber door to see if anyone was coming down the hallway from either direction. The moment I peered through the door, Cooper ran by me, throwing me an ornery smile before he took off around the corner.
 

I stood there a moment, waiting for the trudge of Orick’s footsteps that I knew would follow shortly after Cooper’s. Sure enough, he came down the hallway with one arm extended to feel his way and the other hand covering his eyes as he counted. I grinned as I watched him stumble down the hallway, only reaching out to him as he passed my doorway.
 

“Orick.”

He laughed as I grasped onto his arm, ceasing his counting as he dropped the hand from his eyes.
 

“Good afternoon, lass. He is hiding while I count; then I must go look for him.”

I smiled as I nodded. “Yes, I see. Have you seen Adwen around anywhere?”

“I only saw him as we ran past, but I believe he was in the sitting room, reading of all things. He was near the fire when I passed him.”

“Thanks. Having fun?”

He smiled, jerking his head in the direction Cooper had run. “I shall sleep well tonight. The lad has tired me thoroughly, though ’tis nice to spend a few days under his direction rather than Adwen’s.”
 

“Good. I’m glad he’s not driving you mad. You best get on after him. He’s not the most patient kid. He’ll know if you wait past your number to come and find him.”
 

“Right ye are, lass.”

Dutifully, he covered his eyes and started counting once again, slowly and clumsily moving his way down the hallway. Once he got to the end, he removed his hand from his face, stopped counting, and hollered after Cooper that he was on his way to find him.
   

I waited to exit my room until I could no longer hear any footsteps. When nothing but the sound of my own breathing reached my ears, I wrapped the robe more tightly around my waist and ventured out into the hallway.
 

I knew I was right about approaching Adwen in the afternoon when I met with no one on my way through the castle. I let out a sigh of relief as I slipped through the back door of the sitting room. Taking a quick glance around to make sure we were alone, I closed the door behind me.
 

It was a small room and one of the only spaces in the castle where burning a fire was actually productive. The open flames created so much smoke that windows had to be left cracked open while burning. In a large room if you were further than ten feet from the fire itself, the cool breeze from outside never allowed the heat from the fire to spread throughout the room. But in a room this small, every seat was near the fire, allowing the smoke to be vented while the heat of the flames warmed you through.
 

 
I took a step toward him and he stirred in his seat. I spoke immediately, not wanting him to say a word until I’d given him my speech. Otherwise, I knew I’d lose my nerve.
 

“Don’t turn around and don’t say anything—not until I’m done.”
 

When he didn’t move or speak, I continued.
 

“Look, I think you’re a cocky, pompous, ridiculously-spoiled, naïve brat, but in another life, I was all of those things as well. Most likely, you’ll have lost interest in me by tomorrow morning—that’s your usual habit with women, isn’t it? But I also know this—if you’d known the woman I was a year and a half ago, you’d not have believed that I wanted more than what you offered me that first night at the inn.
 

“Life here has changed me. It has made me want more, made me realize the things that are really important. From my own experience, I know that sometimes, very rarely, people can change. Or maybe not change so much, but as Isobel says, we grow. I don’t know. I’m rambling now. Basically, I just came to tell you this—I’m done.”

“I’m done fighting. I’m done denying. I’m done resisting. You’ve succeeded—Isobel took whatever it is you told her and wore me down. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, Adwen, so please…do what you wish with me and then have enough sense to prove Isobel right. Be a better man than I believe you to be. Show me that good guys exist because, believe you me, I’ve not had the experience of knowing very many myself.”

I paused, shaking with nerves and anticipation as I moved my hands to the tie on my robe. With Adwen’s back still in the chair and his face away from me, I undressed, throwing the robe over my shoulder and into the air. I expected to hear the robe swoosh as it hit the ground but when I heard nothing, I twisted to look over my shoulder.
 

Adwen stood not two feet behind me.
 

*
 
*
 
*

It shouldn’t have been frightening, but the shock of seeing Adwen behind me when I’d thought him to be in front of me, felt a lot like a horrible dream—one where you think the psycho-crazy killer is one place but then he’s breathing down your neck.
 

I jumped and attempted to find my voice as I registered his presence near the doorway. “What? What are you doing there? I thought you were…” my voice was shaky and rather breathless as I pointed over my shoulder. “Who is that?”

Adwen smiled, tossing the robe gently back to me. “That would be Callum.” He raised his voice to address his brother. “Callum, if ye turn yer head around before I tell ye it’s safe to do so, I swear to ye, I will knock every last tooth from yer head.”
 

He turned his attention back to me, gesturing with his head in a way that told me he wanted me to cover myself. I made haste to do just that.
 

“And aye, lass, I can see that ye thought I was there instead of here, but here I am.”
 

There was humor in his eyes, but the embarrassment of the situation raised a sort of fury in me that erupted as I shook beneath my gown.
 

“Why did neither of you say anything? How long were you standing there, Adwen?”

Assuming it safe to turn around now that I was screeching at the both of them, I saw Callum rise from his chair, looking nearly as embarrassed as I felt.
 

“I’m sorry, lass, but ye said that I shouldna talk, and I dinna know who ye were talking to until well into yer lovely speech. And it felt a bit personal to interrupt. Ye hardly took a breath.”

Adwen laughed and moved to pull me toward him as he wrapped his arms around me. I still shook from nerves and embarrassment, but I allowed it, laying my head gently against his chest.
 

“Aye, and I was no about to stop ye, no when ye were calling me such kind names like pompous and spoiled. Warmed me right through, it did.”

“You heard everything? When did you walk in here?”

He bent and kissed the top of my head. “The same time ye did, lass. I only caught the doorway and slipped inside when ye went to close it. I saw ye walking down the hallway in yer robe and found myself verra curious about where ye meant to go.”

“Yes, I bet you were.”

Adwen squeezed me closer, speaking to Callum instead of me. “Time for ye to leave. Have Agnes prepare the meal this evening. I doona know if Jane and I will be there for it.”
 

Ducking his head, Callum nodded and scooted past us. Right as he walked by, Adwen bent his head, whispering in my ear as he cupped my bottom.
 

“Ye have the loveliest arse I have ever seen.”

My insides warmed at the touch of his hands, and I drew in a shaky breath as the door closed behind Callum.

“You should have said something.” I gently moved his hands from my rear, stepping away to look at him now that we were alone.
 

“I should have done no such thing. Ye shouldna have been walking the castle halls in yer robe.”
 

“I….I was trying to surprise you, I guess.”

“Well ye did and Callum too. Seems only fair that I surprised ye as well. Just what did ye mean to do with me here, after ye dropped that robe?”

I shrugged, a motion that caused the ties around my waist to loosen just the slightest bit, sending Adwen’s eyes straight toward the center of my chest. I relished knowing that he wanted to see me—that he’d enjoyed what he’d seen just moments before.
 

“Isn’t that obvious? I think I told you as much.”

 
“Aye, I heard what ye said, but ye dinna say it to my face, did ye?”

“Does it matter?” There was an increased sense of vulnerability, a heightened awareness of what was to come now that we stood looking squarely at one another. My flesh burned and ached with the anticipation of it.
 

“Aye, Jane, it matters verra much. If ye wish me to bed ye, I need ye to say so plainly. For ye have told me too many times that I would never have the pleasure of sharing yer bed.”

“You’re right.” I nodded, loosening the robe so that it fell open, revealing the dip between my breasts. I stepped toward him, reaching out as I neared him, placing one hand lightly on his chest as I slid the other hand down and underneath his pants, latching onto him. “I should have made myself more clear.”

Adwen gasped as I touched him, groaning as he leaned forward, bruising my lips with the intensity of his kiss. I slid my tongue along his lower lip, nibbling at it ever so slightly to slow him down.
 

“I want you…” I whispered breathlessly against him, “I want you to ‘bed’ me, Adwen.”