Love Comes Home (22 page)

“I want all my sisters to be happy.”

Tori’s shoulders sagged a little. “You can’t make happy endings for everybody, Kate.”

“Maybe not,” Kate admitted. “But how about happy
beginnings?” When Tori just kept walking without saying anything, Kate went on. “Happy moments? You have those, don’t you? Times when you have to smile in spite of everything? When Samantha hugs your neck?”

“Or a certain sister chases me down at the pond,” Tori said. “I smile. A lot.”

“But you cry too.”

“So? You should be used to that by now.” Tori’s words sounded stiff.

“I don’t think that’s something I can get used to.” Kate wasn’t sure she should push her for more, but at the same time, she had the feeling Tori wanted her to ask. “You want to talk about it?”

“If I do, yours will be the first ear I bend.”

Kate gave up then. She couldn’t force Tori to talk. She couldn’t force Lorena to not be curious about her family. She couldn’t make her back stop hurting. She couldn’t cure her father’s cough. But she could pray. Even if she didn’t know what was making Tori feel so sad today, the Lord did. He knew about Lorena and Daddy too. He could fix things a lot better than Kate could. She looked up and sent her prayer winging upward, then tacked on an extra thought.
But if you do
need me to do anything, I’m right here.

With the light rapidly fading, Kate had to concentrate on not tripping on the roots and rocks. It wouldn’t be good to fall. Women in the family way had to be careful about things like that, didn’t they?

By the time they came to the edge of the woods, twilight was giving way to night. Scout pushed past Kate to run on ahead. “Scout’s ready to be home for his supper.” She tried to hide that she was out of breath. She had no idea expect
ing a baby could make somebody get so winded. Maybe she should have been more understanding of Evie’s complaints.

“Home.” Tori stopped in the path. “That’s where I said I had to be.”

“Had to be?” Kate moved up beside her, but Tori didn’t look at her.

“I could be at the movies.” Her voice carried a mixture of defiance and disappointment.

“Oh?”

“Graham told Clay I was fishing.”

“So, is Graham in trouble?”

“I think I’m the one in trouble.” Tori stared down at the ground.

Kate touched Tori’s arm. “Why? You’re not at the movies.”

Tori was quiet as the night sounds wrapped around them. The tree frogs. A cow bawling for her calf. A screech owl. Scout barking. When Tori finally spoke, her voice was so soft Kate had to hold her breath to hear her. “But I think I might want to be.”

“And so?” Kate said.

“And so that scares me to death.”

Kate dodged the bait bucket to put her arm around Tori. She was too slim. “It will get easier. Next time.”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“Of course there will. Clay’s been asking you somewhere twice a week for months.”

Tori let out a sigh and moistened her lips. “But I told him to go away. He said he would do anything to make me happy and I told him to go away.”

“And he did.” Kate was beginning to understand.

“He did.” Tori drew in a ragged breath.

Kate hugged Tori closer. “I’m sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have told you this. You’re already worried about Lorena and now I’m heaping this on you too when you need to just think about yourself right now.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m your sister. Sisters are for leaning on. And for telling you that tomorrow is another day.” She looked up then to see Jay coming across the field toward them. “I told Jay to go away once.”

“I remember. You were afraid of loving him.”

“I don’t know that I’d say afraid exactly,” Kate said.

“Then what would you say? Terrified?”

Kate smiled. “That might be more like it. I was terrified that I’d never see him again.”

“So you went after him.”

“I did.”

“I don’t think I can do that. I don’t even know if I want to do that.” Tori sighed. “Loving Sammy was so easy. I’ll never stop loving Sammy.”

“Nobody wants you to forget Sammy. He was such a great kid, always wanting everybody to be happy. You remember how he used to drive Evie crazy by doing handstands whenever she started griping about something.”

“He thought that would make her smile. He never could understand why it didn’t, so he just kept trying.” Tori laughed. “You’re right. That was Sammy. Do you remember how he’d bring me fistfuls of dandelions if I was in a bad mood?”

“And now Samantha picks you dandelions.”

Tori blinked a few times. “I miss her.”

“She’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow. Everybody is always telling me things will be better tomorrow.” Tori looked over at Kate. In the fading light
her features were soft, but it was easy to see the sad yearning there. “But will tomorrow ever come?”

“I think so. Don’t you think we have to think so? And tomorrow when it does come, you can look at the first dandelion you see and think about Sammy. He would want you to be happy. You know he would.”

“Clay won’t be back.”

Kate searched for the right words. “Then, he might not be the right one. But on some tomorrow, there will be a right one. You’re nineteen, Tori. Love will come visit you again and your heart will expand and make room without shoving out any of the loves already there.”

Jay was almost near enough to hear when Tori asked, “Is that what you’d do if you lost Jay?”

“I don’t know, Tori. Nobody can know for sure what she’d do until she walks that path. It’s a path I don’t want to walk any more than you did, but it was a fear I did live with all through the war. Now I’m thankful he’s here and that we can start a family. But if he hadn’t come home—” Kate’s voice caught a little and she started over. “If he hadn’t come home, I hope, in time, I would have been able to welcome love again if the Lord gave me that chance.”

“In time,” Tori echoed.

Kate thought she might have said more, but Jay called to them. “Hey, girls, what’s going on?” He looked around. “You planning to pitch a tent here and spend the night? I’ve got to tell you it’s no fair to go play in the woods without me.”

“We were just coming to get you,” Tori said.

“Forget that. I had enough sleeping on the ground to last a lifetime.” Jay laughed.

Kate tried to say something, but talking about what she
might do if he was lost to her had put a lump in her throat. Instead she rushed to hug him as though she hadn’t seen him for weeks instead of just hours. He smelled of cow feed and dust from the feed store, but she didn’t care. She would have hugged him right then if he’d been covered with mud. It felt so good to belong there against him.

Tori set down her fishing gear and was right behind her, trying to wrap her arms around them both.

“What’s the matter, girls? Something scare you?” Jay pulled Tori into their embrace. “Never fear, I’ll protect you from those creepy Lindell Woods shadows.”

“We’re not afraid of the dark. We’re just glad to see you.” Kate found her voice. “Very glad.”

“We are,” Tori said.

“Well, I’m glad to see you too, because if you aren’t afraid of those creepy shadows, I am. I thought I might have to wander around in there, getting lost looking for the two of you.”

“We wouldn’t get lost in Lindell Woods,” Tori said.

“Even in the dark?” Jay said.

“Even in the dark,” Kate said. “But if we did, Fern would find us.”

“Now you’re trying to scare me,” Tori said.

“And me,” Jay added.

“Fern’s not scary,” Kate said.

“In the dark?” Jay raised his eyebrows at her.

Kate laughed. “Okay, maybe a little, in the dark.”

Jay turned them toward the house. “So were you out there playing hide and seek with Fern?”

“I went fishing.” Tori pulled away from him to pick up her pole and bait bucket. “I don’t know why everybody got all excited about that. I go fishing all the time.”

“In the dark?” Jay kept his arm around Kate as they waited for Tori to catch up.

Kate leaned against him, glad for his strength. She was so very tired.

“Twilight’s the best time to catch fish,” Tori said.

“Then where are they? All these fish. I don’t see supper on your stringer.” Jay looked around.

“Some twilights are better than other twilights. All fishermen know that.”

“Some twilights are better for sister talk,” Kate added.

“Sister talk. This guy knows better than to mess with that. But if we don’t get on back to the house, we’re all going to get some mother talk.”

22

T
ori pretended all was fine through supper. No, not pretended. All was fine. Other than missing Samantha so much that her insides ached. The little girl always settled down in Tori’s lap after supper and the sweet warmth of the child’s body had a way of soaking through Tori to make the day’s worries slide into the background. Tonight instead, the worries gathered on the edge of her thoughts like dark thunderclouds.

Worry clouds were bothering her mother too. Tori hadn’t wanted to worry her mother, but after she sent Clay away, time hadn’t seemed to matter. She cried until she had no tears left and then stared at the pond. At every rustle of brush, she held her breath and wondered what she would do if he came back out of the trees. But he didn’t. She should have baited her hook and started fishing again. That would have made more sense than sitting there like a turtle afraid to stick its head out of its shell to move on.

Back at the house, after she stashed her fishing pole and bait bucket in the barn, Tori had dipped water out of the rain barrel to wash away every last trace of tears. She didn’t
want her mother to know she’d been crying. She’d already told Kate too much.

When Tori went in the back door, her mother turned from the stove to give her a hard look.

Tori rushed out her apology. “I’m sorry, Mama, but I didn’t think you’d be worried about me. You knew I was fishing.”

“You never stay this late.”

“But I didn’t have Samantha tonight.” Tori met her mother’s eyes and added gently, “I’m not a little girl anymore, Mama. I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” Mama breathed out a sigh. “But you’ve got to realize you’ll always be my little girl no matter how old you get. The way you feel about Samantha, that’s how I feel about you.” She put her hand on Tori’s cheek. “Age doesn’t matter.”

“But you have to let your children grow up.”

“You don’t let them. They just do.” Mama smiled. “And that’s what you want, but that doesn’t mean you stop worrying.”

“You don’t have to worry about me when I’m at Graham’s pond.”

“Was he there today?” She turned to stir the soup bubbling on the stove.

“Not today. Wasn’t he at the store?” Tori went to the sink to wash her hands with soap.

“He came in for a soft drink right after you left, but then he headed over to Buddy’s. More man talk over there, I suppose.”

“With all that banging and clanging I don’t know how they hear any talk.”

“Mechanic work is noisy. Then so was shoeing horses when your father used to do that. But I always loved the ring of his hammer on iron.” Mama looked toward the sitting room.

“Me too.” The pinging rhythm of her father’s strikes on the glowing metal played through Tori’s memory. “I used to beg to go to his shop to watch him shape horseshoes. Or even better, those pokers with the fancy handles. Did he keep any of them?”

“No, he gave them all to the scrap metal drives during the war. Your aunt Gertie kept hers even though your father told her it was unpatriotic, but Gertie didn’t pay any attention to him. She said the president wouldn’t expect them to poke their fires with sticks.” Mama smiled. “Not that she ever poked a fire with that poker. It’s been hanging next to the door in her kitchen for years.”

“Daddy misses blacksmithing, doesn’t he?”

Her mother sighed and stirred the soup again. “Some, but he can’t swing the hammer anymore. His shoulder gets stiff. And there’s his cough.” Right on cue from the front room, they heard him cough. Mama raised her head up and stayed frozen until all was quiet again.

“I hope he gets better soon.”

“He will,” Mama said. “Of course, he will. But there’s not much call for blacksmithing now. He doesn’t like repairing shoes as much as shaping iron, but as he’d be the first to tell you, everything changes. A wise person faces those changes straight on. With the Lord’s help.”

Tori sneaked a look at her mother to see if she was pointing her words at her, but Mama had turned away from her to take up the cornbread. Whether she meant her words for Tori or not, they burrowed down in Tori’s head.
Everything changes.
As much as Tori wanted to hold on to the past, it was gone. Clay’s words echoed in her thoughts.
Sammy’s gone.

As if her mother heard her thinking about Clay, she said,
“Clay was asking after you at the store today. He brought a little nightgown his mother made for Samantha’s doll.”

“Samantha will like that.” Tori kept her voice level as she got plates out of the cabinet. “Do I need to set places for Kate and Jay?”

“I told them we had plenty, but Kate was tired. I shouldn’t have let her go after you.” Mama looked worried again. “She’s not having an easy start with this baby.”