Love Deluxe (34 page)
Authors: Kimball Lee
“You don’t expect much, do you?” he laughed.
“I’m counting on you, Andrew.”
I drove to Destin, went to the bank and removed the hundred and thirty thousand dollars from the safe deposit box. I exchanged the cash for a cashier’s check and asked for an envelope and the use of a computer. I looked up the address for the
Foundation to Prevent Suicide
, put the check in the envelope, addressed it and added a note that read, “In loving memory of Brooks Edward Stuart.” I dropped it in the mail on my way back to Seaside. When I returned to the house on the beach I gathered my prescription bottles, walked to the edge of the Gulf and scattered the pills in the waves. I was on my own.
McKay was pacing when I came in.
“Tell me you’re packing for Paris,” he said, looking at my bags in the entry hall.
“I can’t ask you to wait for me, McKay.”
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not sure and I don’t want you to be hurt and if I say I’m sorry it will just sound so… insufficient.” I took off the beautiful ring, placed it in his palm. I reached up and hugged him, he was so firmly rooted in the world, so certain and safe. He didn’t put his arms around me and I told him I didn’t blame him, I would hate me, too.
“Not hate, ever,” and his arms circled me, holding me tight.
I stayed the night, curled against him but already gone. In the morning he drove me to the airport and when I got out of the car I didn’t look back, there was nothing I could say.
***
I flew to Las Vegas as Cate Stuart, checked into the
Wynn
, shopped for more winter clothes and killed time until I met Drew. I played
Top Dollar
and as the bow tie appeared he slid into the chair next to me, took the cigarette from my mouth and took a long drag.
“Andrew, I’m trying to win some money, it’s not nice to sneak up that way.”
“Well,” he said, hitting the ‘try again’ button, “You owe me big time so I’ll just finish this smoke for you.”
The machine offered forty-five thousand and he hit ‘try again’.
“Will you get away from my machine?” The final offer was fifteen thousand dollars, “Thank you for that, I love losing thirty thousand just because.”
He rolled his eyes and said, “Cash out, let’s go eat.” We walked down the street and he bought two Nathan’s hotdogs, I smirked at that and we ate them.
He handed me the passport and a credit card, I looked at him and he said, “Don’t worry, it’s not traceable and you’ll need it, cash is no good anymore.” I shook my head and handed him the credit card, he held both hands up and said, “You take one, you take them both and if you ditch the credit card it’s gonna piss me off. Use it now and then so I’ll know you’re okay, I’m the only one who can see the account.”
I looked at the name and smiled, “Kendall Robinson, I love it.”
“Yep,” he said. “My most favorite names, my most favorite girls.”
I gave him a hug, brushed his hair off his face and kissed his cheek, “She would be so proud of you, Drew. What mother wouldn’t be? I can see how your memories of her have influenced the man you’ve become. I finally dreamed about my son, and I believe he’s found happiness. It’s such an honor that I got to be his mother for seventeen years, and if you think about it, because we had them in our lives even for such a short time, aren’t we blessed and lucky?”
“You’re right, we are, and I thank you for showing me that,” he said as we walked back to the hotel. “I hate to just leave you, but I have to get right back to L.A.”
“Hot date?” I asked.
“Well, yeah,” he looked embarrassed.
“Go Drew, and remember, use protection!”
“You just love to say that. Oh, here,” he handed me a tiny cell phone. “It’s an international number and…”
“I know, it’s untraceable. Go now, and Andrew, you’re a love.”
***
I was over Las Vegas finally; the plane climbed and circled the glittering town below. The sun was rising in the East as we leveled off, flying north to Canada. Airport security questioned the hundreds of thousands of dollars in my flight bag but I showed them the tax slips I’d kept in the lock box with the money.
“Guess you won big.”
“Yes, I guess I did.”
I’d tried to give the money to Drew, “It’s yours,” I told him.
Of course he wouldn’t take it, “For your new life,” he said.
I was on my way Banff and I was so excited I had to wrap myself in my soft new coat to keep from shaking.
But, what if he wasn’t there, what if it was some kind of trap? Maybe it had something to do with the stolen casino chips. Ridiculous, who would know about the roses and hadn’t I dreamed of Brooks? Hadn’t he spoken to me after such a long silence; didn’t he tell me the right thing to do?
I changed some money at the airport in Calgary and hired a car and driver to take me on to Banff. We wound up and up through the snowy forest primeval, the snow muffling all sound, the quiet seemed almost tangible. The air was so thin and pure I could see for miles, I lowered the window and a blast of frost hit my face like a million icicles.
“Ma’am it’s going to be below freezing a few miles ahead, you might want to keep the window closed,” the driver said.
“Sorry, it doesn’t seem real does it? It’s like the Nutcracker come to life, like the kingdom of snow!”
“Yes ma’am,” he sounded bored.
In the hotel lobby fires crackled in a dozen fireplaces. It was vast, yet inviting.
I checked in and asked what time the skiers would return for the day.
“In about an hour, Madame, the lifts are closing early for New Year’s Eve.”
My room was wildly romantic; with a curtained and canopied bed, a fireplace and a tiny balcony with a heart-stoppingly beautiful view. There were mountains and towering trees draped in snow and Lake Louise, pristine and painterly in the midst of it all. I pulled on boots and tucked in the legs of my jeans, tied my cashmere coat at the waist, wrapped a scarf around my neck and descended the wide, stone staircase to the lobby.
People wandered in from the cold, pink-cheeked and merry, warming their hands in front of the fires.
I stopped at the concierge desk and asked if I might take ski lessons from an ace instructor.
“Ah, yes Ace. He will be perfect for you and you will be crazy about him, all the women are!”
“So he’s an ace skier?”
He laughed, “But of course and as well, that is his name. Would you like to book for tomorrow?”
“You see, I’m looking for a certain instructor, I have a photograph,” I realized my purse was in the room, “I must have left it in the room. I can get it; he’s American, tall and very blond….”
He laughed again, “Yes, yes, most certainly! You see, he is right outside. That is Ace, just there.” He pointed to a group of skiers standing on the unmarred snow below the patio.
I walked toward the doors; I could only see him from behind. There was something about the way he stood; he was very tall, in black ski pants and jacket. His hair glinted almost white in the sun and he ran his hand through it. My heart was hammering and my voice caught in my throat, I would have called out his name but I couldn’t speak. When I stepped onto the patio he turned and looked my way. The sun was behind him and his face was hidden in shadow. I started down the steps, walking toward him, something gold around his neck caught the last rays of light and suddenly my heart was singing, “Go and see!”
END
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