Bentley looked as if he’d seen a ghost. The little color that had returned to his cheeks in the days since the accident had vanished in just a matter of seconds. His void expression shattered my heart into a million tiny pieces. I wanted nothing more than to be this man’s wife, and now he didn’t even know me. And, our baby. I had more than just myself to think about now. I needed to get a breath of fresh air before I broke down in the middle of Bentley’s hospital room.
Staci was out in the hallway talking to Bentley’s doctor when I exited the room.
“Doctor, can you tell us what’s going on?” I interrupted.
“Ireland, can’t you see we’re in the middle of a conversation?” Staci said, obnoxiously.
“Yes, I see that, Staci. I was just hoping for a little more information on Bentley’s condition. That’s all. I would think you could understand that since I am his fiancée.”
“Excuse me, ladies. I’ll let you two work this out while I go check on my patient,” Bentley’s doctor said, walking into Bentley’s room.
“You’re not his fiancée, Ireland. Jamie doesn’t even remember you. You’ve no right to his medical information. You’re insignificant. He still thinks we’re married and I intend on keeping it that way.”
“Then why did you remind Bentley that he was going to marry me?” I said, placing emphasis on calling him Bentley.
“I wanted to see his reaction. If he’d remembered you at all then I would’ve let you two continue with this little rebound romance that you have going on. I mean you have to realize that’s all you are—just a fling until he comes back to me.”
I took a deep breath; I wouldn’t let this woman take me down. “We’re much more than a fling and you know it. Besides, you didn’t want Bentley all those years that he was your husband. Why would you want him now? Do your fuck buddies not have money? Don’t buy you expensive presents?”
“I made a mistake, Ireland. I let the best man who’d ever been in my life get away. I still love him. He doesn’t remember the past year and I don’t intend on reminding him. I suggest you do the same.”
“Why would you believe I wouldn’t tell him about your indiscretions and about our relationship?” I shot back. “Are you sure you’re not the one who was hit in the head?”
“You won’t tell him because you can’t hurt him, Ireland. Do you want to be the one to tell him about my affair? You saw the way he looked at me when he opened his eyes. He loves me, Ireland. Do you want to be the one who breaks his heart, and for no reason? He’s already been through enough. Do you want to hinder his recovery? He wants his family. He wants Tanner and me—not you.”
Her words made me sick. I needed to get out of the hospital. I felt the walls closing in. I wasn’t going to make it much longer. I took a quick glance into Bentley’s room and saw Tanner sitting on the edge of the bed as the doctor checked Bentley’s head wound.
He needed to know the truth—about everything, but now was not the time. I needed to take a timeout to reevaluate my life and figure out if Bentley still fit into it.
Turning back to face Staci, I said, “Fine. You get your way—for now. But, this is far from over.”
“Whatever you want to tell yourself to make it better, honey” she said snidely. “But, we both know the truth, Ireland. You won’t be back in Jamie’s life again.”
I turned and walked away, not even acknowledging Staci’s parting words. Even if Bentley wanted to be with Staci, I had a baby to think about now. My son or daughter needed to know their father. I owed them that much, didn’t I? Or maybe I needed to save them from the inevitable hurt of loss.
Before I’d even exited the hospital, I stopped and let myself slide down one of the bare walls to the floor. Resting my head against the concrete slab, my tears couldn’t stop. How had my life so drastically changed in less than seventy-two hours? I don’t know how long I’d been sitting on the cold, hard floor when a voice interrupted my thoughts.
“Miss? Miss, are you OK? Should I get a doctor?” a familiar-looking, older woman asked.
“No, no thank you. I just have a lot on my mind and needed a breather,” I explained, getting up from the floor and dusting off the back of my jeans. “Thank you for your concern though.”
“I don’t mean to intrude, but would you like to talk about it?
I gave the woman a weak smile before responding, “Thank you again, but I think I need to handle this one on my own.”
“OK, but if you change your mind I work in the hospital gift shop. I’m the one who sold you the pregnancy test yesterday. I don’t know your situation, or even how the test came out, but I have a feeling that something’s troubling you,” she said. “Oh dear, there I go again. Just ignore me, dear. Have a lovely afternoon.”
“You do as well,” I said, giving her a tired smile as I turned to exit the building.
T
wo weeks had come and gone since I’d walked through the hospital doors—leaving Bentley in Staci’s care. I learned from Katie and Greg that Bentley had been released a week earlier, and was recovering nicely, though his memories still hadn’t returned.
He’d gone back to the home he’d shared with Staci and Tanner before the divorce. From what Greg could tell, they seemed happy, but they still encouraged me to go see him. Each morning I woke up telling myself that I would visit him—tell him the truth about the baby, but each day passed—ending with my crying myself to sleep.
Katie had given me the name of her obstetrician and I’d scheduled an appointment to make sure everything was on track with my pregnancy. I’d had a lot of morning sickness, and had taken a lot of time off from work. I was starting to wonder if I was really slacking on my job responsibilities because of the early pregnancy complications, or because I didn’t want to keep updating everyone on my status with Bentley.
For as much as I tried to keep my coworkers out of my personal life, that all went out the window the day I’d taken Bentley with me to the rec center. Not only had the kids taken to him that day, but every woman—and possibly one man—in my office had as well.
Today was the big day. I was meeting with Dr. Rhoads for the first time and would hopefully learn my due date. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was toweling off my hair when the phone rang from the bedroom. Running from the bathroom, I dove onto the bed reaching for the phone.
“Hello,” I answered, without even looking at the screen.
“Hey pretty mama. Today’s the big day, right? Do you want me to go with you to your appointment?” Katie asked.
I felt a twinge of disappointment that it was Katie calling. A part of me had hoped that Bentley’s memories had suddenly returned, but as each day passed I was starting to believe that might never be the case. “Ireland, are you there?” she asked when I didn’t respond right away.
“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, what were you saying?”
“You were hoping I was Bentley, weren’t you?”
I sighed before answering, “I’m such a horrible best friend. You know I love you, right. I just . . .”
Katie cut me off before I could even finish my sentence. “I’m only giving you a hard time, Ireland. You’re not a horrible best friend. I can’t blame you for wanting that hunk of a man instead of this ginormous pregnant lady.”
“Stop it. You’re beautiful,” I scolded.
“Yeah, I am, aren’t I?” she said with a laugh. “Seriously, though, do you want company at your appointment? I’d be happy to tag along.”
“Nah, I’ll be fine flying solo. I’m sorta used to it after all these years of singledom.”
“Shut up. You know as well as I do that I didn’t let you do anything alone—ever. And, just so you know, I’m not taking no for an answer. Besides, I have a craving for a big bowl of chicken alfredo and one of those cannoli thingies. So, we’re doing lunch at the little Italian bistro near the doctor’s office after your appointment—just so you know,” she said with a giggle.
“OK, fine. But, I’ll probably just get a ginger ale and watch you eat. I still can’t keep anything down.”
“Make sure you tell Dr. Rhoads. She gave me a tiny magic pill that took all my morning sickness away almost instantly. The only bad part, I think I gained like twenty pounds in a week because I couldn’t stop eating all the food,” she said, chewing in the background.
“You’re eating a doughnut, aren’t you? I said, trying to stifle my laughter.
“Don’t judge. You know what they say about karma,” she said. “You’ll understand in about five months. It’s like all the food just talks to you. Well, maybe except the broccoli and asparagus. That healthy shit never talks.
“You’re crazy. I need to finish getting ready. But since you’re insisting on going to this appointment with me then you can swing by and pick me up in about an hour,” I said, ending the call.
Everything checked out perfectly at my appointment. Dr. Rhoads didn’t feel as if my morning sickness was cause for alarm and prescribed some of the magic pills that Katie had mentioned. I’d taken one almost immediately after having the prescription filled and already felt like I could actually keep food in my stomach.
We’d arrived at Antonio’s and were seated by the door almost immediately. Katie was already drooling over the menu when I remembered the ultrasound picture I’d stuffed in my purse on the way out of the office.
“I can’t believe I actually have a picture of my baby,” I said, staring at the sonogram image. “Hello, Little Bean. Mommy already thinks you’re so beautiful.”
“Isn’t it the craziest. Wait until you’re farther along and they do the three-dimensional one. My boy seriously looks like an alien-child.”
“That’s only because he’s all scrunched up in there. He’ll be so handsome when he’s born. You’ll see.”
“I think you’re having a girl,” she said, sipping on the water the waitress had just delivered to our table.
“What makes you think that?” I said, skeptically.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m having a boy so you will definitely be having a girl. It’s destiny that they’ll get married someday.”
“So my child is still resting comfortably in my womb and you already have her married off to your alien-son?”
“You just said my son would be handsome! And, you totally said ‘her!’ You think it’s a girl, too!” she yelled, clapping her hands.
“That’s not what I meant. I was just going by your warped scenario. And, your son is an alien if he goes after my daughter!”