“No!” he shouted, causing me to grimace.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“You! You ask too many questions. I lost my concentration and lost my game. I was on level fourteen, too. That’s the highest I’ve ever gotten and you had to go and ruin it!” he yelled, stomping his foot.
“I—I’m sorry,” I cried, sniffing my nose. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ll leave you alone from now on. I won’t bother you anymore. I just—I just thought we could be friends—that’s all.”
Bentley looked into my eyes and I actually saw a hint of remorse. “Don’t cry, Shamrock. I’m sorry for making you cry. Please don’t cry. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” he said, extending his shirt sleeve for me to wipe away my tears.
“Why—why did you call me Shamrock,” I asked, as my tears began to subside.
“Don’t they have lots of shamrocks in Ireland?” he answered with a dimpled-grin on his face.
Just then my mom came over and ushered us to our place in line.
“That’s our cue, Ireland.” Bentley said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.
“What?” I responded, shaking my head in confusion.
“We need to go down the aisle. It’s our turn,” he whispered. “And, by the scowl on Katie’s face she’s going to kick our asses if we don’t go right now.”
I quickly turned to see what Bentley was talking about and chuckled when I saw Katie’s signature, bitch glare.
“You know you love me,” I mouthed, blowing her a kiss.
“I’ll love you even more when you’re walking down that damn aisle,” she mouthed back.
I was so stunned after seeing Bentley after nearly two decades that I hadn’t really gotten a good look at him. Now here I stood, only twenty feet away and I couldn’t help but take him all in. I always had a schoolgirl crush on him, but staring at the grown up version of Bentley was doing things to me that I hadn’t felt in a long time, if ever. He looked debonair in his black tuxedo—his broad shoulders and muscular chest filling out his coat perfectly.
The wine-colored tie and vest that Katie had chosen for the groomsmen only enhanced the amber flecks in his smoldering, chocolaty eyes. His brown hair was short, yet just long enough to slick back with a tiny amount of gel. His day-old scruff outlining his chiseled jaw left me with goosebumps as I imagined what it would feel like if he were to pepper a trail of heated kisses down my naked body.
When he kissed me on the cheek earlier, I wantonly breathed in the smell of his cologne radiating off his lapel. It was a mix of lemon zest with a hint of vanilla. Why did I have an almost immediate urge to ask him what he was wearing? It’s not like I needed a mental inventory of what to buy him for Christmas. Bentley will be gone again after this weekend, and things will return to normal as if we hadn’t just run into each other again after nearly twenty years.
“Earth to Ireland,” Katie said, breaking through my thoughts.
“Shit. Sorry. Shit—I just swore in church. Shit,” I stammered.
“Snap out of it. Will you, please?” she demanded sternly before continuing. “I need Greg’s ring. And wipe the drool from your chin.”
I looked at her with wide eyes before handing her the titanium band. “Seriously? I was drooling?” I questioned.
“No, but you very well could’ve been with that dopey smile on your sex-flushed face,” she whisper-yelled. “Now would you pay attention to me—your best friend? It is MY wedding day after all.”
G
reg’s niece and nephew were twirling around the dance floor to “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” pretending to be Baby and Johnny out on the dance floor. I was almost certain it was Katie who had played
Dirty Dancing
for the kids a time or two. She’d been obsessed with that movie since before we’d even met.
When she told me she was marrying Greg, I was actually terrified that she was going to make the entire bridal party learn the movie’s closing routine complete with the deadlift jump. Thank god she’d never approached me with the idea and I definitely wasn’t going to give her the suggestion. I’d seen all of those videos trending on YouTube with the bridal party learning iconic eighties numbers and the last thing I wanted was for my uncoordinated ass to be plastered on the Internet for all eternity.
As engrossed as I was watching Greg’s niece and nephew, I didn’t notice anyone approaching me from behind.
“Care to dance?” Bentley whispered, placing his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into him. I quickly stepped out of his embrace, not wanting myself to so easily fall into the comfort he was offering me.
“Shit!” I said, punching him in the arm. “Don’t do that again, you scared me.”
“Sorry, I forgot my Shamrock was really more of a pansy,” he said with a chuckle.
“I see you haven’t changed at all. Still the same smart ass you were as a teenager,” I said, not humored at his attempt at sarcasm.
“You’re confusing me, Shamrock.”
“Why am I confusing you?” I snapped.
“For starters you need to lighten up a bit,” he suggested, rolling his eyes. “And, secondly, you’re confusing me because I noticed you staring at me—your eyes practically devouring me during the ceremony. But since then you’ve avoided me like the plague. And, now I ask you to dance and instead of falling into my arms you recoil like I’m a snake. What gives, Ireland?”
I sighed, knowing that he’d eventually want answers.
“I’m not avoiding you and I definitely wasn’t staring. I see we can add vanity to your list of attributes,” I said, straight-faced.
“Seriously, Shamrock, stop the charade,” he pleaded. “I know you. This girl isn’t you. And, I know Katie well enough to know that her best friend wouldn’t be a first class bitch.”
I stopped at his words. He was right; I was putting up a front. I had to shut him out now, or run the risk of losing him all over again. I already lost him once before, and I think I’d crumble if I had to go through that pain and torment again.
“I guess you’re going for the silent treatment now, huh? Oh wait, I remember now, you’re more of a
Flashdance
girl, aren’t you? Why didn’t you just say something? I’m sure I can request a song,” he said with a knowing smirk.
“Oh my god! Isn’t that what we danced to at my Aunt Char’s wedding? I can’t believe you actually remember that,” I chuckled. “You wanted nothing to do with me. You were dancing so far away from me that a third person could have been between us. You didn’t even want to hold my hands!”
“Yeah, I guess it took me awhile to realize how great you were,” he said with a wink.
Without even thinking, I put my hand to my neck and began fingering my heart-shaped locket. It had always provided me with comfort when I’d been in an uneasy situation.
“Is that—is that what I think it is?” Bentley questioned, before reaching out and placing three fingers on my chest.
My breath hitched at his touch. I said a silent prayer that he hadn’t noticed. He moved his fingers and placed them over mine on the locket.
“Relax, Ireland. It’s just me,” he whispered, as he opened the locket to reveal the two photographs I kept tucked safely inside. On the left was a picture of my mother and me during my Aunt Char’s wedding reception. She’d picked me up and was twirling me around the dance floor when my Uncle James had captured the moment. On the right side was a picture of Bentley and me on the day we’d finished the tree house behind his parents’ cabin in the Smokies.
“You still wear this?” he questioned.
“Every day,” I whispered, holding back the tears that were just beginning to well up.
“I’m sorry, Bentley, but I can’t do this. Not tonight—maybe not ever,” I said, as I turned to walk away.
“Don’t run again, Ireland,” Bentley said, grabbing me by the shoulders.
“Run?” I practically seethed. “You think I ran? I didn’t have a choice, Bentley! They took me away. I didn’t have anywhere to go. I had to leave.”
“You could have stayed with us. I told you before the funeral that you could stay with us.”
“Bentley, we were kids. We couldn’t make those kinds of decisions. There were laws—formalities.”
“But, my parents said you could’ve come with us. We looked for you for months. After you left, I begged them to find you. You may not realize it, but I lost everything that day, too, Ireland. Uncle James was my best friend—my role model. And, you—you were My Everything. Even at sixteen, I thought the sun rose and set by you. I loved you, Shamrock,” he admitted, his frustration only growing with each word he spoke.
My ears began to ring. Surely it was the loud jazz music coming from the ballroom. I must be hearing things. There is no way that Bentley just told me that he’d loved me.
“Did you hear me, Ireland? I said I loved you.”
“Ye—yes, I heard you,” I stuttered, shakily. “But, why? Why are you telling me this now? I don’t even know who you are anymore. You have a successful career, a wife—a son. And, me. I’m not the same fourteen-year-old girl who you loved, Bentley. I’m a thirty-two-year-old woman with eighteen years of baggage.”
Taking his finger, he tucked a fallen piece of blond hair behind the gardenia that was fastened behind my ear. He moved in so closely I could feel his breath with each word he spoke. “I’m telling you because I’ve missed you, Shamrock. Not a day’s gone by in those eighteen years when I haven’t thought about you. You were even on my mind the day I married my ex-wife.”
I gasped at his admission.
“That’s right. I loved Staci, but I caught myself remembering you on my wedding day. Maybe that’s why the marriage was doomed before it even began. Maybe I didn’t give her the kind of attention a husband should give his wife. Maybe that’s why she sought out the love of other men and cheated on me more times than I care to discuss right now,” he huffed.
“I’ll never regret being with her because I have Tanner, but you must know she’s in the past, Ireland. So, how’s that for eighteen years of baggage?” he continued, rubbing the creases in his forehead. I didn’t notice the faint lines before, but in my opinion they didn’t make him look older. They made him look wiser and more mature than the carefree Bentley from all those years ago. I’m sure each line told a story, and in that moment I found myself wanting to know about each one—all eighteen years’ worth.
“I—I didn’t realize. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything right now, but just know I’m not letting this go. I’m not letting you walk away. Not this time,” he said with confidence as he quickly turned and left me alone once again on the dance floor. I guess this time he was the one to walk away.
The music stopped as Katie hobbled off the dance floor and headed my way.
“What’d he say to you? He’s upset you, hasn’t he?” she asked, pointing toward Bentley. “I’m so sorry, Ireland. If I’d had known that Jamie was THE Bentley then Greg and I would’ve never asked him to be in the wedding. You know that, right. You’re my best friend—practically my sister—and I’d never want to hurt you and jeopardize our relationship.”
“I’m fine. He didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” I sighed. “But, this conversation, is for another day—we’ll make it a girls’ day when you get back from Bora Bora. I’ll tell you all about my troubles then. Maybe I’ll even come to your office and lie on your massive couch.”