Love Evolution (11 page)

“
Yeah,
”
he said softly, walking back over to the sectional and sitting down. He glanced up at her, blue eyes imploring.
“
And I think it would probably be good for you to talk about it.
”

She went and sat next to him, starting out hesitantly.
“
My father was withdrawn and distant after my mom died, but then we were all pretty messed up. She had been the glue that held all of us together.
”
She sighed heavily.
“
After a while, though, he started drinking...
”
She stopped, knee bouncing, and glanced at Marcus with haunted eyes.

He smiled gently, trying to look encouraging while tensing internally. Worried, he knew where this might be going.

“
At best I
’
d say he was a neglectful father. But when he drank, he became extremely volatile and violent. Justin took the brunt of most of it over the years. He sported bruises more often than not. Like I
’
ve said, he always tried to protect me, but sometimes...
”

Marcus leaned forward.
“
Your dad beat you?
”
he asked, tone incredulous.

“
Yes,
”
she confessed with her head down, wringing her hands.
“
I know it was really hard for him. He missed my mom, and she died so young. Justin and I didn
’
t make it any easier, I
’
m sure.
”

Marcus patted her shoulder and squeezed once. He fought to keep his voice moderated.
“
Don
’
t make excuses for him. It was not your fault, Avery.
”

Her eyes flashed to his.

“
Hey, you know that, don
’
t you?
”

“
Yeah, well
…”
her voice shook,
“
I know it here.
”
She pointed to her head.
“
But here,
”
she pointed to her heart,
“
is another matter, you know?
”
She pressed her lips together, willing herself not to cry.

“
So what did you do?
”
 

“
He was our father. We had already lost our mother. It became our new normal. We adapted, learned to stay out of his way. Music became our escape. I taught myself to play my mom
’
s old guitar, but had to keep it at a friend
’
s because my father didn
’
t allow music in the house anymore. I guess I developed an aptitude for it.
”

‘
No kidding,
’
Marcus thought. 

“
Justin had an incredible voice,
”
she continued, voice becoming distant as she remembered the yelling, the rock hard fists, and the uncertainty day to day.
“
We started a band. Then when things
…
got too intense to stay home, the two of us left and moved to New York.
”

Marcus wasn
’
t fooled. He bet there was a wealth of untold bad things Avery had edited out.
“
How old were you when you left home?
”

“
Sixteen.
”
Her brow creased.
“
The week before our birthday had been real bad. We
’
d never seen him like that. He
…
um
…”
She cleared her throat.
“
The night of our birthday, he said a lot of hateful things. Justin called him out on it.  My father went nuts and laid into me.
Broke a couple of ribs before Justin was on him.
Justin was holding his own until my father picked up a beer bottle and hit him on the head with it. Blood started pouring down his face. I
…
I panicked and jumped on my father
’
s back. When he threw me off, Justin said I fell back and hit my head so hard on the coffee table that it knocked me out.
”

“
Damn. Avery! Shit!
”
Agitated, Marcus started pacing back and forth.
‘
The rotten bastard.
’
He couldn
’
t believe a father would treat his own children that way. If the guy were here right now he would deck his sorry ass. His eyes darkened, and his hands clenched with impotent rage.

Avery
’
s eyes widened. Long suppressed feelings of being a helpless victim rose to the surface. She backed up into the corner of the sectional, subconsciously drawing her legs to her chest to make herself a smaller target.

Marcus noticed Avery
’
s response. His anger wasn
’
t helping, and he was scaring the kid. He needed to calm down. What the hell was it about Avery that brought out such a strong protective response in him? Shaking his head, he sighed before sitting back down.

Blue eyes filled with concern, Marcus gently tapped her knee.
“
Sorry, kid.
”

She lifted up her head, giving him a tremulous smile.
“
Sorry you asked now?
”
 

“
No. No, I
’
m not, Ace.
”
His expression turned earnest.
“
It
’
s not the things that happen to us that make us who we are, but how we react to them, right? And from what I can see, looking at the man you turned out to be, well, you should be proud.
”

With those words, the tears Avery had been holding in started sliding down her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around herself. Shame had always kept her from telling anyone about her father. Having told Marcus, she felt strangely relieved, like the burden of it had lifted somewhat.

Marcus watched the tears slide down Avery
’
s face, fighting against an overpowering desire to put his arms around the kid.

Eventually, the tears dried up, and Avery glanced at him, her green eyes fringed with darkened wet eyelashes.
“
Sorry, I lost it.
”

He snorted.
“
Like I
’
m the king of self- control.
We
’
re ok, everything
’
s cool.
”
It had been its own special brand of torture to sit there and watch Avery cry, and not be able to do anything about it.  He stood abruptly.
“
Hold on a second. I
’
ll be right back.
”

Marcus walked behind the sectional and disappeared down the hall. When he came back he had his acoustic guitar in one hand and his Les Paul electric in the other. He handed the Les Paul to Avery. He found it therapeutic to play whenever something upset him. Maybe it was the same for Avery.

Avery reverentially cradled the Les Paul on her lap, adjusted the strap, and bowed her head immediately over the frets to play. Marcus sat down and watched Avery play for a minute.
So
young to have been through so much.
He felt guilty. His own life had been a cakewalk in comparison. Satisfied to see the tension finally draining from Avery
’
s face, he lowered his head and started to strum on his own guitar.

Marcus lost track of how long they played, separately at first, but when they began to complement one another, he wasn
’
t really surprised. As he hummed a melody, Avery started singing the chorus she had written for
“
Siren Call.
”
He smiled,
“
I like it, Ace. What do you think?
”
  

“
It
’
s good, has kind of a bleak
feel
to it that works, but I
’
m stuck here with the rest of the lyrics. My experience with drugs is kind of second hand.
”
She shrugged.

He laughed self-deprecatingly.
“
Ok. I guess I can help you there. What do you want to know?
”

“
Tell me what happened. I really don
’
t understand how someone
like
you
…”

He cut her off,
“
Someone like me what?
”

“
Would be willing to give up control like that.
”

“
Noticed that I
’
m a bit controlling, huh?
”

“
Yeah, duh.
”

“
I guess for me that was part of it, though. I thought it would help me relax and make things more fun. At least that
’
s the lie I told myself. And sure, when I was totally wasted, I wasn
’
t worried about anything else, really. But something I didn
’
t count on was how the drugs shut me down completely, even creatively
…
These songs I
’
ve written with you are the first ones I
’
ve been able to write in over a year.
”

Avery stopped scribbling down notes and stared at him with disbelief.

“
Yeah, when music is an obsession for guys like us Ace, that
’
s a sobering thing right there. I hope you stay away from the stuff, even though it
’
s considered socially acceptable in our business. I thought I was strong enough that I could say no at any time and get out, but I was wrong. Once it gets its hooks into you, it
’
s almost impossible to break loose.
”

“
And sometimes you never do
…
like Justin.
”
 

“
What happened to your brother, Avery? I would think that having grown up with your dad, he would never have wanted to touch the stuff.
”

“
That
’
s what I thought, too. But looking back, I think it just made him more susceptible. Desperate for approval, you know. Justin really looked up to this club owner named Frank.  Followed him around everywhere, copied everything he did, including the drugs. After our shows, Frank would always be there with a line of coke, offering it to us on a mirrored platter, like it was some kind of gift.
”
Avery shuddered, wondering yet again, if only she had done something different, would she have been able to save him?

It was as if Marcus could read her mind.
“
Avery,
”
he said,
“
we all have to take responsibility for our own choices. Justin made his. The drugs were there for you also, weren
’
t they?
”

She nodded.

“
But you didn
’
t take them, right?
”

She shook her head, vehemently.
“
No, never.
”
Scooting over closer to him on the sectional, she laid open her notebook to show him what she had written down so far.
“
Hey, I think I have the lyrics worked out. What do you think about this?
”
 

I am all you ever need, her desire calls

Telling her lies, her memory stalls

Poisoning the body
,  it
seems so tender

It takes so much strength not to surrender

It loves to catch her as she falls

A siren calls him, a heavenly voice

He cannot resist, there is no choice

Upon the rocks, he feels no fear

She lures him there, the edge is near

An untimely fall, now she will rejoice

The desire so strong, it holds on tight

Strength to overcome, not in sight

Your senses so dulled, nothing alive

It tells you, you need me to survive

Your mind fights for what it knows is right