Love Finds You in Amana Iowa (10 page)

His hand traveled over his bedpost. He didn’t have to choose a side in this awful war to know that God loved the slaves and the soldiers and even the slave owners.

For a moment, he wondered what it would be like to fight in a battle. The comforts of Amana he could live without, but he couldn’t fathom hunting down his fellow man like a deer or a wild turkey. It must break God’s heart to see His children killing each other.

Matthias put on his hat and reached for the door. The wickedness of slavery made him tremble in his core. But thousands upon thousands of people who didn’t own slaves were dying as a result of this conflict between the states. If only the leaders of both the North and South would seek God’s face, like Brother Metz entreated of them. If only they sought peace while seeking freedom for the slaves, the war could end without another battle.

Stepping into the hallway, Matthias glanced at the closed door across from his room. Usually his friend was waiting for him in the hall by the cedar wardrobe, ready to begin his day, but Friedrich wasn’t waiting today. Perhaps he was still in prayer, asking for help, like Matthias had done this morning.

Matthias hesitated beside the closed door, but when Friedrich still didn’t come out for breakfast, he knocked. If they didn’t hurry to the kitchen house, they wouldn’t be able to eat before their long day of work began—and neither he nor Friedrich ever missed a meal.

“Are you ready?” he called out.

Silence met his call.

“Friedrich?” he called again as he turned the knob.

The dark purple quilt on Friedrich’s bed was neatly made, his curtain closed. For a moment, Matthias thought Friedrich had left for breakfast without him, but before he slipped back into the hallway, he saw the envelopes set on the desk. There were three of them, neatly placed across the wooden top.

Even though he saw the envelopes, seconds passed before Matthias began to comprehend what Friedrich had done. He knew what was in the envelopes, knew Friedrich had left him, but he didn’t want to acknowledge the truth.

As he stepped to the desk, he saw a letter for Amalie and one for Friedrich’s parents. He left both of those on the desk, but he took the envelope addressed with his name and hid it in his pocket. He wouldn’t read the words Friedrich had written to him. Instead he would go to Marengo right away, and he would stop Friedrich before he made this foolish choice. He’d stop him and hand back his envelope without reading a word.

Racing down the steps two at a time, he pushed open the front door and burst out into the morning air.

It wasn’t too late to stop his friend. The conscription letters said they were to report to Marengo at eight thirty, two hours from now. Brother Schaube was planning to meet the colonel this morning to negotiate the commutation fees for seven Amana men. Together they would stop Friedrich from joining the regiment, and then they would bring him home before anyone knew he had tried to leave.

He found Brother Schaube in the kitchen house, eating sausage and pancakes. Matthias didn’t waste precious seconds greeting his other brothers as he shuffled around the benches and tables to the elder’s side.

“Guten Morgen,”
the head elder whispered as Matthias scooted into the seat beside him.

Matthias leaned close to him, speaking low as well so the others couldn’t hear. “He’s gone.”

Brother Schaube’s eyes widened with alarm. “Friedrich?”

Matthias nodded.

“When did he leave?”

“I don’t know. I was just in his room, and he left letters for Amalie and his parents.” He didn’t mention the one in his pocket—those words were written for him.

Brother Schaube wiped his mouth on a cloth napkin and stood. “We must go to Marengo at once.”

The others watched them leave before breakfast was finished, before Sophia served second cups of coffee or they closed in prayer. A hundred questions must be swirling through the minds of the men and women, but if they retrieved Friedrich before supper, no one needed to know he almost left them.

At the stable, Matthias and Brother Schaube each saddled a horse, and within a half hour, they were riding west. Two miles outside Amana, they rode through the village of Middle Amana and then they passed though High and West Amana. People waved to them, but they didn’t stop to greet their brothers and sisters like they normally would. The property of the Inspirationists ended after South Amana, and they followed the dirt road for six more miles until they arrived in the county seat of Marengo.

Matthias had only been to the town once, earlier this year when all the men in Iowa County were required to have a physical in case the government mustered them to service in the military. He didn’t remember where the enlistment office was located, but Brother Schaube directed them toward the courthouse. They hitched their horses a full half hour before the newly drafted men were supposed to arrive.

Brother Schaube went straight to the enlistment office on the bottom floor, past the line of almost twenty men standing outside the office with an assortment of suitcases and bags in their hands. Some of the men wore tattered clothes while others were dressed in as fine of suits as Matthias had ever seen.

Matthias searched their faces, but he didn’t see Friedrich among them. Could he have been wrong about Friedrich’s letters? Perhaps his friend wasn’t coming to join this regiment. Perhaps he was running away from Amana.

His fingers slipped over the letter in his pocket. Friedrich had too much honor in him to flee from this situation, certainly when the elders were willing to pay for someone else to take his place in the infantry. But even if the elders didn’t pay the commutation fees, he couldn’t imagine Friedrich running away.

When Brother Schaube didn’t see Friedrich among the group of waiting men, he marched to the front of the line and knocked on the door of the enlistment office.

“We’ll be ready in a half hour,” someone barked on the other side.

Brother Schaube leaned toward the wood, his voice firm. “I need to speak with you right away.”

The door whisked open, and on the other side stood an older gentleman with white hair and a trimmed beard. When he saw Brother Schaube, his voice hardened even more. “The government requested seven of your men to join our regiment.”

Brother Schaube held out a leather satchel toward him. “I am here to pay their fees.”

The officer swore, lifting the hand that was wrapped around his cane. “I form regiments. I don’t take blood money.”

Brother Schaube lowered the satchel. “But I need to pay for their exemption.”

“I’m sure someone in Des Moines will be glad to take your money,” the officer said. “But you’ll only have to pay the fees for six exemptions.”

“Seven of them were conscripted,” Brother Schaube insisted.

The officer stood a bit straighter, a tinge of pride coloring the harshness in his voice. “One of your men has chosen to serve with us.”

Matthias could hear people talking behind the officer. He looked over the man’s wide shoulders to see who else was in the office, but he couldn’t see anyone.

“We are here to get Friedrich Vinzenz.” Brother Schaube held out an official-looking notice. “This letter is from Governor Samuel Kirkwood, and it says if we choose not to fight because of religious reasons, we can pay for our men to be released from duty.”

“Private Vinzenz has the ability to choose on his own whether or not he wants to join us.”

“Friedrich is not a private,” the elder said. “He is our brother.”

With a shrug, the colonel began to push the door shut with his cane. Matthias stepped forward, stopping him. “Please let me speak with him one last time. Just to tell him good-bye.”

“I’m sorry. Private Vinzenz has been removed to a different location to await his orders.”

Standing in the crowded hallway, Matthias felt like his chest was about to erupt. Friedrich was there, behind that door. He couldn’t see him, but he knew Friedrich was there. Still his friend didn’t speak up.

Friedrich had never turned him away before. But now, on the eve of going to war against an unknown enemy, he didn’t even have the courage to say good-bye to those who loved him.

“Tell him not to do this,” Matthias said.

“I will tell him no such thing.”

“Then tell him that he better come back home to us as soon as he can.”

When the colonel slammed the door shut, Matthias prayed Friedrich had heard his words and that he would harbor them. His friend must come back to the Kolonie when this war was done.

He and Brother Schaube moved back down the long corridor, past all the men waiting to join the new regiment. Frustration burned within Matthias. He couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to leave the Society, for any reason.

“We can’t let him join the army.”

Brother Schaube bowed his head, his voice sad. “This is his choice, Matthias. We cannot force him to stay.”

“Friedrich doesn’t know what he is doing,” Matthias insisted. “He doesn’t know what awaits him out there.”

“I wouldn’t be so certain.”

Matthias wanted to believe Friedrich didn’t have any idea how much his decision would hurt all those around him, because if he knew…

If he knew, how could he leave them?

“Go home,” Brother Schaube instructed. “I have business I must attend to before I return.”

In a daze, Matthias stumbled out of the courthouse. Somehow he managed to mount his horse again, and as he rounded the block, he looked back at the courthouse one last time. He hadn’t cried since he was five years old—the day his mother left him—but the tears came now unbidden. For a moment, he felt like that five-year-old again. Abandoned and alone.

The tears flowed harder now. He wanted to make them stop, but he couldn’t control himself. How could his closest friend—his brother—abandon him? Friedrich knew how much Matthias hated people leaving him, especially with no good-bye.

He and Friedrich had been the best of friends since that day his mother left him at the estate in Hesse-Darmstadt and never returned. He traveled the long journey with Friedrich’s family from Germany to New York when he and Friedrich were both seven, and for almost twenty years, they had eaten every meal together, worked together, fished together, prayed together.

He wiped the back of his sleeve over his face, hoping at first that the townspeople would think his cheeks itched, but then he realized he didn’t care. He dared anyone to say he didn’t have a right to his tears.

In three weeks, the wagon train would arrive from New York. What was he going to say to Amalie? Friedrich had been faithful to her over the past three years, he could assure her of that, but she would probably blame him for Friedrich leaving, and he wouldn’t stop her.

He should have talked more with Friedrich. Prayed more. Now his friend was gone, and he had no idea when, or if, he would come back.

Whichever way my eyes are turning, Thy wondrous
works I can behold.
I bow my head in adoration to see Thy majesties untold.
Author Unknown

August 1863

Mist draped over the Iowa River and swept through a grove of cedar trees. Pink mantled the horizon in front of the wagon train as the darkness welcomed dawn. Long before the sun began to warm the day, Amalie and the other travelers from Ebenezer had awakened to begin their final trek. After more than a month of traveling, they would finally be home.

Karoline had rested for much of the journey, recovering slowly from her injury, but she refused to remain inside the wagon for their arrival. She walked alongside Amalie, leading the wagon train as they traveled through the valley.

Amalie’s hands tingled and her heart quickened with anxiety and excitement. On the other side of the forest, Friedrich Vinzenz would be waiting for her. Not with open arms in front of the other brothers and sisters, but she hoped there were would be a smile on his face, a promise of things to come.

Never again would she have to hover over a camping stove to cook. Nor would she have to sleep in a tent or unload her kitchen supplies each night from her wagon and then load them up the next morning after breakfast. By day’s end tomorrow, if she wanted, she and Karoline would be able to work the stove in their own kitchen.

With Amana just a few miles in front of them, it felt like the wagons were barely crawling toward their destination. She wanted nothing more than to run all the way to the village, even if she ran by herself. But they’d traveled for five weeks as a community, and with the exception of the two men Mr. Faust had sent ahead last night as messengers, they would all arrive together.

Men waved their hats at them from the fields, and as they passed through the small village of Homestead, several women ran out to them with fresh fruit. The women squeezed their hands and welcomed them home. Their group didn’t stop in Homestead, but the warm greeting empowered all of them. They moved even faster toward Amana.

Next, they crossed railroad tracks and slowly hiked along a path in the forest. The sun broke through the leaves and the fog, and Amalie stepped out of the trees into the grass and shaded her eyes as the yellow light flooded her with warmth.