Love Her Right (7 page)

“Considering you cheated on her with me.” She laughed embittered by the irony. “God, it’s so messed up I don’t even know which way is up! Tara is the mistress not me, so how many women did you sleep with
my dear husband
as I suffered to take care of your son?” Her last words were practically a scream.

“Jolie, this isn’t the time or place to discuss—”

“It’s a simple question, Mackenzie! While I was struggling to feed your son, to keep a roof over his head, clothes on his back, healthy and educated, how many women were you screwing?”

“I left you a house and money!” he whispered harshly looking around the waiting room.

Jolie didn’t care if they had an audience. She wanted to rid herself of the hurt that was currently eating her alive!

“A house I couldn’t sell because it was in your name, benefits from the military I couldn’t get because no one seemed to know you had a wife and fifty thousand dollars that was practically depleted in the first year of Miles’ life. I don’t know if you know this, but babies aren’t cheap!”

“Enough! We’ll discuss this at home,” he commanded sternly, thinking to silence her but it only pissed her off even more.

Jolie leaned forward, her hands tightly wrapped around the arms of the chair, her nails digging into the wood as tears flooded out of her eyes, her jaw clenched so tight her teeth hurt, and the bitterness in her heart rising in her throat as bile.

“I don’t want to talk about it at home. I wish there was no reason to talk about it! I wish you were dead, your body riddled with bullets as you rot in a fucking ditch in that fucking war you loved so much! I wish someone came knocking on the door, with a flag and a purple heart to tell me you were dead and there would be no body to bury because the wild animals had devoured what little was left of you. I wish you’d died there because that Mac I could still idolize, that Mac I could still tell his son was a hero, a patriot, the best man that ever lived, the love of my life, my other reason for living. I would tell him that the hell his grandfather put me through was worth it because Mackenzie Masters was worth every second of pain and torment I went through after he signed up and left me alone!”

She shot off the chair and knelt at his feet between his parted knees, her hands fisted tightly on the thighs of his jeans. “Do you hear me? I wish you were dead, Mackenzie Masters. I wish you were dead!”

“Mrs. Masters, calm down!” She heard the familiar voice behind her as hands around her arms tried to pulled her up and free from Mac, but she wasn’t ready to let go. She wanted to see the hurt in Mac’s eyes, the pain and torment she’d lived with for years. Instead all she saw was that ‘
Do Not Enter
’ sign which drove her even more insane.

She vaulted to her feet and yanked Miles out of Mac’s arms. Mac released him easily even when Miles whimpered searching for his warmth in his sleep, and just stared up at her with that same annoying gaze.

“Don’t come after us. Don’t come near us ever again. You have no family, Mackenzie Masters. No wife, no son, you are not an expectant father. You come near us again and I swear I’ll make sure this baby isn’t born, and I’m going to make sure Miles knows who’s responsible, do you understand me?”

He gave her a slight nod, just a nod no other expression, no emotion at all. God, did she mean so little to him? Did his children mean so little to him? Was this the excuse he needed to go back to perfect Tara? Refusing to cry in front of him, she turned around and rushed away. God, she was going crazy, she was going bat-shit crazy and it was all his fault.

* * * *

M
ac didn’t know how long he sat there staring at the chair Jolie had been in. He could still hear her voice as she screamed her pain, her hurt, her anguish. He could still hear how she wished he’d died and all he could think of was how close her wish had come to being true. He could still hear the words that condemned him, the forgiveness he was denied, the threat against his unborn baby’s life. He could still hear the words that chained him to that chair like a loud echo stuck in a loop. Those words drained him, crippled him, festering in his heart like a viral infection.

His son, his baby, his wife...all gone...taken away by his own stupidity, never to see them again in his life.

Now what? What did he do now?

He had been a coward five years ago, running from them and now, would he be a coward now if he didn’t go after them? But he couldn’t do that even if he wanted to. His hands were tied, his feet were shackled, and his heart strung up with a noose, one wrong move and a life was destroyed.

He knew that Jolie wouldn’t hurt an innocent child he knew she wouldn’t...but that was the old Jolie. The Jolie who wasn’t spiteful who wasn’t filled with hate and resentment. The Jolie who loved him even when he didn’t deserve to be loved, the one who faithfully waited for him to come home while he philandered the years away. That Jolie he trusted not to hurt his children, but this Jolie...he couldn’t risk it, he just couldn’t risk it!

He went to stand up, but his jelly legs gave out and he fell to his knees. He couldn’t breathe. It was like his lungs were being wrung dry. He couldn’t breathe!

Oh God, what had he done!

––––––––

“T
ell me what happened?”

Jolie met Dr. Patel’s gaze defiantly. “I already told you, what else is there to say?”

“Three months ago there was a scene in the surgery waiting room that you caused. Some members of your audience called child protective services on you and the only reason you still have your son is because your mother stepped in. If you plan to keep them, you need to work with me here.”

Jolie turned away, slouching further into the seat. She knew what was at risk; she didn’t need reminding. She had been at Mac’s house, packing her things and Miles’ when the cops knocked on her door, demanding to see her son. If it wasn’t for Mac coming when he did and saving the day, she would have lost one child and been waiting to lose another in six months. At first she thought he was the one who called the cops on her, but the social worker cleared that up. Apparently
six
concerned citizens who’d watched her episode called it in claiming she’d threatened to kill her children. She’d only threatened to kill one and she didn’t mean it. At the time, she might have, but now, seeing the evidence of that life inside her, she’d die before she harmed her baby.

What had gotten into her that day?

“Jolie?”

“I was angry and I just snapped,” she blurted out. “I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. I didn’t mean a word of what I said.” She turned an accusing glare at Dr. Patel. “You never told me that I’d be choked with all these emotions on this fabulous road to recovery. I felt like I was drowning in them, and I had to get it all out!”

“We did discuss this, Jolie, in our first session. I recommended that you stay away from confrontation, to ease back into your active life slowly because there were a lot of negative emotions you needed to face. Your depression came instantly and it wouldn’t leave the same way.”

“I’d rather be numb than feel like a raw nerve,” she mumbled.

“You can blame that on your hormones.” Jolie smirked at the bad joke. “How are things at home?”

Jolie sighed. “My mom has taken over everything, including running my life. Apparently, keeping busy leaves no time for depression—as per her experience.”

“And how is Miles taking his new living arrangements? It must be very confusing?”

Confusing? She wished! “He blames me for his father moving away. He doesn’t understand why I drove his daddy away, why he won’t come into the house when he comes to see Miles or pick him up. Why he asks Miles how Mommy and baby are instead of asking me himself. He’s even more confused by his two new uncles and grandparents. He wants to know why he didn’t know them before.”

“And what did you tell him?”

“That they tried to beat him out of me and were therefore cut off from my life.” Jolie sighed at her raised brow. “I’m joking. James and father dearest don’t care to visit, but he knows they exist thanks to my mother. Jake however tries his best to be friendly. I bet his wife is forcing him because she wants their son JJ, to know his cousin, which means James will be trying to make nice soon because he does everything Jake tells him. And Jase, he’s doing his best to help Miles out.”

“Why Jase and not you?”

She laughed bitterly. “That would be a case of the blind leading the blind don’t you think? I’m confused, broken, and going off the deep end. I shouldn’t be taking care of anyone.” She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. “My life has turned into shit!”

“What about Mac?”

Her heart leaped like it used to over five years ago. What did that mean? How was she supposed to interpret that?

“What about him?” she echoed.

“Has he tried to speak to you? Did you ask him what I asked you to?”

She lowered her hands, crossing them over her chest defensively. “I’m not ready for couples’ therapy.”

She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. “Jolie, we’ve talked about your life, discussed it extensively. You have a number of issues all revolving around rejection. Clearly the rejection from your father and two brothers doesn’t matter as much as Mac’s. You won’t invite Mac or your family to discuss this, how exactly do you want me to help you get to the bottom of it all? Truthfully, I believe you wouldn’t have reacted so explosively that day if you had a strong, loving and supportive family. Because of what you didn’t have, you built a life around Mac and he was the last person you believed would betray you.”

Jolie sighed again. She had a point there. Ever since the beginning she’d wished her family loved her. When she finally realized they would never give her what she needed, she went across the street and adopted Mac’s family. For the longest time she’d been looking forward to being a part of the Masters, to feel like she deserved the love they showered on her. Their deaths stole more from her than it did Mac. They stole her hopes and dreams, crumbled her fairytale life to dust, robbed her of the love and care she’d craved most of her life. She hadn’t just lost parents-in-laws that day she’d lost her parents, her family and was condemned to a bunch of people who probably wished she never existed.

She looked up at Dr. Patel. “What are you doing this weekend?”

* * * *

J
olie stood hidden by Miles’ door and listened to him laugh as he played with Jase. It was the first time he’d laughed so hard since Mac left. She felt his joy right in her chest. It was relieving, like she had a chance to be absolved of the mistakes she made, for ripping his home, his family apart.

But I’m going to fix it, for Miles. Today was the day to start new.

She stepped into view. “Hey, kiddo, ready to go to Daddy’s place?”

The laughter stopped and Miles’ face dropped. He jumped off Jase’s lap and dragged his feet with hunched shoulders to his closet. He pulled out his backpack and it dropped with a dull thud on the floor. Then he dragged it behind him as he walked to her, his head hanging low.

Jolie sighed, grabbing hold of the back of his T-shirt as he passed her and pulled him back as she walked to his bed. She sat down and pulled him onto her lap.

“You want to talk about what’s bothering you?”

“When is Daddy coming home?” he mumbled.

Jolie hugged him, resting her chin on his shoulder. The first time he’d asked her that, she said never. Then Dr. Patel’s magic began to take root in her mind and the next time he asked her, she said she didn’t know. And now, what was she going to say?

“Soon, Baby. Mommy just has to fix a few things.”

He turned to her, his eyes sparkling at her for the first time since the whole mess began. “Promise.”

She held out her little finger. “Pinky swear.”

His face lit up with his grin as he looped his little finger with hers. “Pinky swear! Thanks, Mama. I want us to be a family before the new baby comes,” he declared, pressing his free hand on her growing belly.

Jolie placed her hand over his. “Well then, we better get to work on fixing this family, huh?”

He nodded vigorously. “I’ll tell Daddy to do his part. I’ve got to go now.” He jumped off her lap and took off out the door.

“Tell him to come in. I need to speak with him. Miles?” she called after him.

“Okay, Mama,” he yelled back.

Jase placed his hand over hers that still rested on her belly. “You made him really happy, Jolie.”

She nodded, turning to face her twin. “I hope it works out because Mac and I have disappointed him enough.”

“He does have a point. You guys need to get your ducks in a row before this little one comes along.”

“I know...but I’m scared,” her voice cracked.

Jase wrapped his arm around her. Since the transplant, he’d recovered well and soon he’d be his old self body-wise and she was grateful. Mostly because it brought them closer together with their mother. She was different without their father lording over her. And they liked that difference, in fact, Jolie wasn’t looking forward to giving her back to her father.

“Jolie, I had a failing liver and if I can come back with that all right and with a stronger relationship with Mom after she stood up to Dad to save my life, you and Mac can solve your problems. The truth, I have no idea why you blew up on him like that.”

Jolie groaned. Of course her brother knew about her crazy episode. She was lucky no one recorded it and uploaded it on the internet. “My shrink says my reaction was amplified by my family’s rejection.”

“Hey!”

She laughed kissing his cheek. “Not you, of course. I have never doubted your love for me, but the rest...sometimes it felt like they wished I was never born.”

“They weren’t like that all the time. They were good brothers until...well...”

“The day they did nothing as Dad beat me?”

“Yeah, then. So why did you call this family reunion?”

“Because I need to know why they hate me.” Jolie tightened her hold on her brother’s hand. “That scares me too. I don’t think I’m ready to find out what I ruined by being born.”