Love Inspired March 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: North Country Family\Small-Town Midwife\Protecting the Widow's Heart (53 page)

Ty cradled the boy's head against his shoulder. “I don't either, EJ.”

“Maybe we should pray. Isn't that the only way to talk to Jesus?”

Oh, the simple faith of a child. “That's a good idea.” Ty gently took the boy's free hand in his. “How about this? We each put our guilty feelings in our hand. Then we'll pray and give them to God. When we're done, we'll open up our hands and let those old feelings drift right up to Jesus so He can take care of them for us.” EJ nodded, and opened his hand, palm up. “Okay, you ready? We'll each pray quietly, and when you're done, close your hand, okay?”

Ty watched, his heart aching as the boy bowed his head. Ty closed his eyes, searching for the strength to do what he'd just instructed EJ to do—release his fear and guilt into the Almighty's care. Was it really as simple as he'd told the boy? Slowly, Ty opened his heart and soul, seeking the freedom from guilt only God could provide. When he opened his eyes, EJ's little fist was clenched tightly. Ty realized his own fingers had curled inward. “Okay, EJ. Let's open our hands and let those feelings go.”

Together they unfurled their fingers. Ty had come up with the symbolic ritual for the boy's sake, but as he opened his palm and raised it, a sense of lightness washed through him. He glanced down at EJ to find the boy's face free from worry, a small smile on his lips.

He hugged him close. “Feel better now?” EJ nodded firmly. “Good. But you have to promise that you'll still talk to your mom about this. It's important she knows how you feel.”

They were walking back toward the cabin when Ginger appeared around the corner.

“How does the new pole work? Did you catch anything?” Her cheery smile faded quickly as she looked at them.

EJ glanced up at Ty. He smiled down at the boy and urged him forward. “Do you want me to get you started?” EJ nodded. “Ginger, Elliot needs to talk to you about some things. I'll be in the boathouse.”

EJ walked toward his mother, then stopped and turned around. “You could talk to her, too, Tyster. She's a good listener.”

Caught off guard, Ty had to swallow the lump in his throat before responding, “That's a good idea, buddy. Thanks.” Unable to meet Ginger's curious gaze, he walked away.

* * *

Ginger rested her elbows on the kitchen counter, her chin in her hands. How could she have been so blind? Elliot's confession about his feelings of guilt had ripped her heart to shreds. It had never occurred to her that he would blame himself for her husband's shooting. She ached at the thought of the heavy burden he must have carried for the past few years. If it hadn't been for Ty, she might never have known.

Inhaling a shaky breath, she straightened, clasping her hands tightly in front of her. She and Elliot had talked a long time before she'd sent him to bed. Maybe this was the reason God had brought them to Dover—to clean the slate, remove the rubble from the past few years and level the ground so they could start over, free of the past. She sent up a prayer of thanks and gratitude for landing in Dover, and for putting Ty Durrant in their path.

But how would she ever repay him for all he'd done for them? His friendship, his support, but mostly for taking EJ under his wing. She needed to thank him for helping her son. Pulling her aqua sweater from the hook, she slipped it on and headed for the boathouse.

“It's open.”

Ginger stepped into the dim interior, her gaze finding Ty. He sat at the small dining table, forearms resting on the top, his shoulders hunched forward. He looked over at her, one corner of his mouth curving upward. “I thought you might be dropping by. How's EJ? Did he talk to you?”

She nodded, joining him at the table. “He did. I'm still in shock that he blamed himself for John getting injured.”

“Did you explain it to him?”

“I think he understands now, but it breaks my heart knowing he was so scared and frightened for so long.”

“Did your husband go back inside for a new toy like EJ thought?”

Ginger shook her head. “That's not how it happened at all. He went back in because he'd been given the wrong change.” She gathered her thoughts. “Ty, I want to thank you for what you've done for my son. I can't tell you how much it means to me. I wanted to believe Elliot would talk to me about anything, but I guess the circumstances were too much for both of us. Your interest in him gave him the courage and the safety to share his fears. Thank you.”

She reached out for his hand, but he captured it in his, triggering that lovely rush of electricity through her nerves. His hand was strong, steady. Dependable. Unnerved by the intensity of her reaction, she pulled free, tugging on her lock of hair. Her gaze fell upon the folder open before him. It looked official. “What are you reading?”

Ty leaned back in his chair, hands resting on his thighs. “The incident report from the shooting. The department shrink has been after me to read it, but I've been putting it off. After talking with EJ this afternoon, I realized I had a few things I needed to confront myself.”

“Like this report?” He nodded. “And did it help?”

Ty leaned forward. “The details in this report are very different from what I remember. They're like two unrelated incidents.”

“How so?”

“I remember starting back to the car. It was dark. I heard Pete shout. I drew my weapon. Someone appeared around the side of the house with an assault rifle.” Ty closed his eyes briefly before going on. “I saw him. I froze. Then I got hit and...that's all. When I woke up in the hospital, they told me Pete hadn't made it. I knew it was my fault. If I hadn't froze, he might still be alive.”

Ginger saw his hands shake and reached across the table to touch his arm. “And what about now? After looking at the file?”

“It says there were two shooters. Pete saw the first one and fired, wounding him, but taking a hit.” He tapped the folder with one finger. “I saw the second shooter. Pete was already down before I ever saw that kid.”

“So it wasn't your fault.”

Ty stood and paced off a few steps. “No. Maybe not. But that doesn't change the fact that I froze when I should have acted. What about the next time? What if I get someone else killed because I freeze up?”

Ginger's heart hurt for him. Like EJ, Ty was struggling with undeserved guilt. Ty feared losing his ability the way her son feared losing her love. “Surely, now that you've read the report, you can see it wasn't your fault. Just like EJ wasn't at fault for John's injuries.”

Ty ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I guess.”

He met her gaze, his blue eyes still holding shadows of doubt and sadness. The look was so similar to EJ's a short while ago, her heart warmed. She stood and went to him, touching her palm to the side of his face, the stubble on his cheek drawing her eyes to his angular jaw and to the jagged scar on his neck. “You're a good man, Ty. An honorable man, and a brave one. What you did for my son was brave. I know you'll find your way soon. You're more than a cop, Ty. Much more.”

He raised his hand and laid it over hers as it rested against his face. His other hand slipped around her waist and urged her closer. She didn't resist.

“EJ was right. You are a good listener. You're an amazing woman, Virginia Sloan. You take my breath away with your compassion and your courage.”

Ginger's knees weakened. Standing close to Ty, eyes locked, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest beneath her hand. When he took her palm from his face and kissed it, her heart raced violently. He said her name softly and leaned his head closer. But she suddenly remembered they were alone, in the confines of a tiny room, and the feelings Ty was stirring in her had no place in her thoughts. She stepped away from him. “I'd better go. It's late and I...”

She turned and hurried out, back to the cabin. Her heart was already in danger, and she worried that taking their relationship beyond friendship would be a huge mistake. She'd made far too many of them in her life. Now, as she stood on the threshold of a second chance, she refused to make a wrong turn.

No matter how much she loved him.

* * *

Ty watched Ginger hurry out of the boathouse. He couldn't continue this way—torn between two choices. He either committed to his job or walked away and sought a future with Ginger. But he could do neither until he broke the grip of fear that immobilized him. He forced himself to take a few deep breaths and regain control.

His gaze drifted to the report on the table. He may not be responsible for Pete's death, but what about the next time? He still couldn't pick up his weapon. Anger and frustration swelled in his chest. He swiped the folder off the table and threw it onto the floor. He raked his fingers in his hair. He had to decide soon, because he was nearly out of time.

* * *

The Stanton property was overrun with people and vehicles when Ginger arrived Thursday. So many people had turned out to help. People from the local churches, friends and acquaintances of the Stantons, others who were beneficiaries of Handy Works and welcomed a chance to repay the local ministry for their assistance.

And the calls were still coming in. Not only donations of services, but people offering linens, kitchenware and household goods. The local grocer had pledged to stock the pantry. She hadn't seen Ty at all today. With only a few days until Mr. Stanton's release from the hospital, everyone was working extra hours.

Ginger pulled a casserole from the backseat, shutting the door with her hip, then started toward the garage. She smiled when she saw the tables already bulging with delicious dishes to feed the volunteers. She spotted Laura in the distance. She waved and jogged to her side. “What are you doing here? You're getting married in two days.”

“That's all under control. Ginger, you've got to help me.”

The worry in her friend's eyes concerned her. “What's wrong?”

Laura took a deep breath. “I need you to play at my wedding.”

“What? But you said your friend from college was going to play. What happened?”

“Her mother had a stroke, and she can't leave her. Please say you'll fill in. I've been looking for a way to include you.” She touched Ginger's arm. “You and EJ are practically family. Please.”

Practically family. If only. “All right. I'd be honored. But I'll need to get the music so I can practice.”

Laura exhaled a heartfelt sigh. “Thank you. You're a lifesaver. And a good friend. This means you're a member of the wedding party, and you and EJ can come to the rehearsal dinner.”

Ginger suddenly realized her acceptance created an additional obstacle. “Laura, I don't really have anything appropriate to wear. I was planning on wearing a simple skirt and blouse, but now...”

“Don't worry. Shelby or I should have something you can borrow.”

Ginger raised her eyebrows and took a step closer to Laura. She stood several inches taller than the petite contractor, which meant she was also taller than Shelby. “Really?”

Laura looked her up and down, her expression revealing her understanding. “Oh. I see your point.”

Ginger swallowed her pride once again. “I'm so please you asked me, Laura, but I splurged on Elliot's bike. There's just not much left over for extras. Maybe you should find someone else.”

Laura shook her head. “No. But I do have an idea. There's a consignment shop in Sawyer's Bend. That's the next town over. We'll go over there and see what they have. I'm sure you can find a dress and shoes for next to nothing. We'll go right after you get off work. I'll pick you up.”

Later that day, Ginger and Laura strolled through the consignment store captivated by the vast assortment of nice clothing and jewelry. A quick check of price tags buoyed her hopes. The prices would fit in her tight budget, and she did want to look nice for the wedding. Helping Laura gave her an opportunity to repay the Durrants for their generosity.

With Laura's help, Ginger selected a figure-flattering blue dress, shoes and a necklace and matching earrings from the consignment store. Glancing down at the bags in her hand, Ginger smiled. She'd forgotten what it felt like to wear nice clothes. Her parents had always spoiled her in that regard. She'd had the latest styles and the coolest fashions. That had all ended when she'd married John. Her life had become all about practicality and function.

After placing the packages in the truck of Laura's car, Ginger climbed in and fastened her seat belt. Laura glanced at her with a mischievous grin.

“We have one more stop to make. This one is a gift from me.”

When Laura pulled up to a beauty salon, Ginger shot her a puzzled look; but before she could speak, Laura held up a hand. “The woman here is doing the hair for my bridal party. That now includes you.”

Ginger shook her head, but Laura quickly touched her arm. “Please, let me do this.”

Words of refusal were on the tip of her tongue, but then she thought about how she'd felt in the blue dress. A new hairstyle would complete the picture and boost her self-confidence.

An hour later, Ginger looked at herself in the mirror. The new softer style skimmed her shoulders in layers, and short bangs angled across her forehead. Even her recalcitrant lock of hair had been tamed to look as if it was part of the overall style and not a mistake.

She beamed. One month in Dover had sent her life in a new direction. EJ's, too. She touched her hair. What would Ty think of the transformation? Suddenly, it was very important that he find her attractive.

Chapter Twelve

G
inger's palms were damp and her nerves dancing as she made her way to the piano in the sanctuary of Peace Community Church Saturday afternoon. She sent up a prayer for composure as she slid onto the wooden bench and flexed her fingers. She wanted to do her best for Laura's sake. She took a moment to sort through the music, then checked her watch. With a quick nod from the wedding planner, Ginger placed her fingers on the piano keys.

As she played, she stole quick glances at the guests being seated, paying closer attention when the Durrant family was ushered forward. Shelby, along with the children, was seated on the groom's side, since Adam had no immediate family attending, and Matt was serving as Adam's best man. Laura had asked her cousin, Annelle, to be her maid of honor.

Ty and EJ took seats in the second row on the bride's side. EJ waved, and she gave him a smile in return. He looked adorable in the sport coat he wore. Finally, Mrs. Durrant was escorted to the front row. She looked beautiful in a pale green dress that complemented her blue eyes.

As Ginger began Pachelbel's Canon in D, the guests rose to honor the bride. She stole a glance at Adam, standing tall in his tux, his nervousness clearly evident in the way he fidgeted with his hands. Laura, escorted by her father, finally arrived in front of the minister. She looked gorgeous in a long lace gown, carrying a bouquet of white tulips.

Mr. Durrant handed his daughter to her groom, then took his seat. Adam's dark good looks were the perfect complement to his bride's honey-blond tresses, which she'd left loose and wavy.

As they repeated their vows, Ginger tried to recall her own marriage ceremony, but little came to mind. It had been an impulsive trip to a justice of the peace; nothing special. When she married again, she wanted something similar to this ceremony. Elegant, yet simple, with only close friends and relatives in attendance. She wanted the vows given by someone ordained into God's work. Official. Special. Memorable.

Her gaze drifted to Ty, instantly envisioning him in a tux, standing at her side. His eyes met hers, sending a rush of heat into her cheeks and causing her hands to tremble. The look in his blue eyes told her his thoughts mirrored her own.

* * *

Ty strolled toward the refreshment table, deliberately turning his back on the happy people celebrating his sister's marriage. The joyful tone of the reception was grating on his nerves. While he was happy for his sister, he wasn't in the right frame of mind to appreciate the moment. He took the cola and turned to face the guests again. Laura and her new husband were glued to each other's side, smiling like kids. His gaze slid to his parents, seated at one of the tables, talking with their grandchildren. Across the room, Matt and Shelby held hands like the newlyweds they were.

A sudden sense of isolation choked him. He didn't belong here. They were his family, but in many ways he had nothing in common with them. He scanned the room, searching out one particular face. He found her standing near the entrance talking to Pastor Jim. As if sensing his gaze, she looked up, her green eyes locking with his. She smiled, lifting her hand slightly.

She looked incredibly beautiful in a blue dress that skimmed her curves. She'd done something to her hair. It was all soft and floating around her face, and he longed to touch it.

Music began to play from the DJ's sound system, a slow, romantic ballad. Ty saw his sister take her new husband's hand and lead him to the dance floor. After a few minutes alone on the floor, his parents joined them.

Before he realized what he was doing, he was halfway across the room, his focus on Ginger. He told himself she probably felt a bit awkward, not knowing many of the guests, but he realized as he drew close he was the one who needed to connect with a friendly face. Someone who understood. And right now all he wanted was to hold her in his arms,. A sudden thought brought him up short. Ginger was the only one he wanted in his life. Forever.

She smiled at him, filling his being with inexpressable joy. “You look amazing.” Not exactly smooth, but his brain wasn't functioning properly. A pretty blush tinged her soft cheeks.

“Thank you. I've been looking for you.”

Encouragement. He took her hand. “Come, dance with me.”

On the floor, he took her in his arms, gazing on her lovely face. “You look beautiful.”

She met his eyes. “So do you.”

He chuckled. “You think I'm beautiful?”

“I think you're the most handsome man in the room.”

She drew closer, and he curled his hand around hers, cradling it on his chest, inhaling the heady fragrance of her perfume. She fit so perfectly against him, he wanted to keep her there forever.

Suddenly the room was too crowded. He wanted her all to himself. Taking her hand, he led her off the dance floor and out to the patio, not stopping until he found a secluded corner. He rested his hands at her waist. “What did you do to your hair? It's different.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, but what happened to that one curl?”

“She fixed it so it wouldn't stick out.”

“I liked it sticking out. I like the way it curled around my finger.”

“It'll grow back.”

“But I'm not sure my heart will. You've stolen it. Completely.” He pulled her to him and kissed her, revealing his heart and his love.

* * *

Ginger slipped her arms around his neck, melting against him, his strong arms the only thing keeping her upright. Never had she known such a connection, such safety. The promise in his kiss fulfilled her deepest dreams. Breathless, she pulled back, savoring the feelings swirling inside.

She opened her eyes when his fingers gently touched her cheek.

“Ginger, I've fallen in love with you.”

His admission filled her with joy, but it also stirred up long-held fears. Her heart soared, her own feelings for him swelling, pushing every other thought aside. “I think I fell in love with you that first night.”

“So, what are we going to do about it?”

She pulled away. “Ty, I'm not sure what we feel for each other is enough.” The hurt in his eyes pierced her heart. She took another step back. “We're going in two different directions. I'm leaving for Arizona at the end of the week. And you'll be going back to Dallas.”

“I don't know that for certain.”

“Are you going to leave law enforcement?”

“Maybe. I've already talked to some recruiters about a few jobs.”

“Would you truly be happy doing something else?” His silence told her all she needed to know. “You wouldn't. And it's not a life I can contemplate. I can't live with the constant worry—the fear that something might happen to you.”

“So are you saying there's no hope for us at all?”

“I can't see a way around the obstacles.” She lifted her hand to his face. “Oh, but I wish there was. I do love you, Ty.”

The pain in his blue eyes tore her heart to shreds. He took her arm and steered her back inside the reception hall. He led her to the first table and released her. “Let me know when you're ready to go home.” He walked off. It was not the way she wanted it. It was the way it was.

Unable to watch him walk away, she sank onto a chair, fighting tears. Somehow she had to make it through the next few days, then she'd be on her way to her mother's. Tomorrow was the welcome-home celebration for the Stantons. Her car would be ready in a few days. Her mother was eager to see them. In a few short days, she and EJ would be on the road to Arizona, and Dover and the people there would fade in their memories.

Sadness tightened her throat. Ty Durrant would never become a faded memory. She'd been a fool to allow herself to fall in love. Now she and EJ would both be hurt. She should have accepted Ty's offer to fly home weeks ago, then none of this would have happened. Now it was too late.

* * *

Every nerve in Ginger's body tingled as she waited for the van to come up the Stantons' driveway. Glancing around, she found Ty standing with Shaw near the front of the house. He'd attended the early service, explaining he had to get to the Stantons' to make sure everything was prepared for the homecoming; but she suspected that was simply an excuse to avoid her. Their friendship had taken on an awkward tone. While they couldn't move forward with their relationship, both of them were reluctant to let go completely.

A cheer rose up from the crowd as the van carrying the Stantons pulled up to the front door. Like a scene from a TV show, the whole town of Dover had turned out to welcome them home. The weather was overcast and cool, but nothing could dampen the volunteers' excitement. The van door opened, and the lift gate lowered Mr. Stanton to the ground. He would be in the wheelchair many weeks yet, so a special ramp had been installed at the front of the home for easy access.

Ty appeared at her side, taking her hand in his and sending a warm flush along her nerves. The look in his blue eyes reflected her own mixed emotions—a mixture of affection and sadness. She was glad he was with her to see the culmination of the project. They'd both become emotionally invested in completing the home on time. Together they listened as Mrs. Stanton thanked the crowd, her words moving many to tears, then Shaw and Pastor Jim escorted the family inside their new home.

As the crowd began to disperse, Ty gently steered her toward the SUV. Ginger turned a puzzled gaze in his direction.

He read her thoughts. “I'll take you home.”

“I'd like that.”

Matt and Shelby had taken EJ and Kenny to a movie, and Ginger had been looking forward to some alone time on the deck, rocking and watching the water. But now she welcomed time with Ty.

They drove home in silence. At the cabin, they strolled across the deck, hand in hand. Ty stopped at the door, bending to give her a quick kiss. A smile softened his blue eyes and chiseled features.

Inside, she headed toward the kitchen, floating on the joy of being close to him again, even if it was for a short while. “How does a cup of coffee sound? I can have it ready in a jiffy.”

“Great. I'll make a fire or we can sit on the deck if you'd...”

She turned to look at him, her heart stopping midbeat when she saw him staring at her notebook, the one where she kept track of the money she owed him. He stiffened, the muscle in his jaw flexing rapidly.

Slowly, he turned, piercing her with his angry blue gaze. “What is this?”

Hurrying around the island, she reached for the notebook, but Ty held it out of her grasp.

“Are you keeping track of the money you think you owe me?”

Heat scorched her cheeks. She intended her list to be a thank-you, but the tone in his voice clearly showed he felt differently. “I wanted to pay you back.”

“I never asked you to.”

“I know, but you didn't ask us here, either. We were forced on you. You came home looking for peace and quiet, and you found a homeless woman and her child living in your cabin. It only seemed fair to compensate you for your inconvenience.”

Ty's blue eyes darkened. He held the notebook up with a little shake. “This is more than compensation, Ginger. You've listed every minor expense.” He glanced down at the page. “Daily rental fee for cabin. Food. Percentage of utilities. Fee for assembling the bike. Why?”

Ginger wrapped her arms across her middle protectively. She hadn't expected Ty to be so upset. Memories of John's angry outbursts threatened to overwhelm her. “I didn't want to take advantage of you.”

Ty closed the journal and dropped it onto the counter with a loud slap. “You're not taking advantage of me.”

“Yes, we have. We've barged into your life, lived in your home rent-free, driven your car, never paid for food or gas. You fix things. You take us places. You share your family with us. Yes, I think we've taken advantage of your kindness far too much. All I wanted to do was repay what we've taken from you.”

“Taken?”
Ty ran a hand through his hair. “You've taken
nothing
from me, Ginger. You and EJ have given me more than I ever expected to find when I came home to Dover. I thought I wanted peace and quiet, but what I really needed was to focus on something other than my problems. I like having you and EJ here. I don't want your money. Don't you understand that I do things for you because I love you?”

She tried to make him understand. “This isn't about money. It's about being in debt. I have to think ahead, be prepared in case something should happen.” Anxiety tightened her throat when she saw the fire still burning in his eyes.

Ty set his jaw, taking her shoulders in his hands. “Ginger, you have to let go of this fear that rules your life. You're afraid of debt, you're afraid of some disaster waiting around every corner, you're afraid to love me because something might happen. You've built this wall around your heart and your life, trying to keep you and Elliot safe. I get that, but that wall is also keeping me out.”

His words stung like needles. She thought he would understand. “Oh, so now you're an expert on fear? What about
your
fear, Ty? Have you made your decision?”

“That's not the same thing.”

“Really? My fear is holding me back. Your fear of failure is keeping your—how did you put it?—your wheels spinning in the mud.” Ginger balled her fists at her sides. “I think you'd better leave.”

“Ginger...”

She turned her back and walked to the sink. Tears stung the backs of her eyes. Her stomach was churning. She heard his steps as he walked to the door, and the swish of his jacket as he lifted it from the hook.

“I guess you were right. Love isn't enough.There are too many obstacles between us.”

The door opened, letting a cool rush of winter air into the room, freezing her heart. The door closed with a snap, and her heart broke in two.

* * *