Love Inspired Suspense May 2015 #2 (23 page)

He eased back onto the pillow. “I should've tried harder to get through to you, shouldn't have let it go on as long as I did.”

“That's on me. It wouldn't have mattered how hard you tried. I was too ashamed and embarrassed about all the stupid things I'd done. About how right you were about Vin. I couldn't face you.”

“I'm not proud of the way I behaved, either.” He drew in a deep breath, pain creasing his waxy features.

Growing concerned, she eased closer. “Is there something I can do to help you with the pain? More morphine?”

“No. If I take more, it will knock me out and I want to talk to you.”

She wanted the same. Who knew how many more chances they would have.

“I want to put things right between us,” he said. “But I know it won't be easy. Can you forgive me for being so stubborn?”

This was more than she had hoped.

“Yes,” she said in a shaky voice. “I need your forgiveness, too. I was a foolish, stupid girl.”

“You're still
my
girl and you always will be. I love you.”

“What I did was so wrong. You were right all along about everything.” She wiped at her eyes, giving a small laugh. “I bet you never thought you'd hear that.”

A ghost of a smile hovered on his lips. “I've missed you.”

“I acted like an idiot.”

“We both made mistakes, honey.”

Laura could hardly fathom her strict unbending father admitting to mistakes. Perhaps the years had softened him. Or maybe it was the disease ravaging his body. She wasn't sure she deserved Nolan's understanding, but she wanted it. Wanted to start fresh for whatever time they had left.

The burden of guilt and resentment and shame she'd been carrying rolled right off of her.
Thank You, Lord. For his forgiveness and Yours.

He was fading fast. Laura bent over him. “It's okay to sleep, Dad. I'll be in town until the transplant is finished. We'll be able to talk again.”

If Vin didn't get to her first.

“My first filgrastim injection is tomorrow. I'll stop by and see you again if I can.” She would have injections on five consecutive days. The drug would move more blood-forming cells from her bone marrow to her bloodstream in preparation for the donation. “Four days after that, I can make my donation and you can receive the transplant.”

Nolan was fighting drowsiness and he looked even more pallid than when she'd come in. “Laura, girl, I...”

The door opened and Laura turned to see a frowning Griffin enter with a stocky bald man. Both were wearing paper gowns and masks. A clerical collar showed beneath the other man's protective garment.

Griffin's gaze went over the visitor's head to find Laura. “The pastor says Nolan is expecting him.”

The other man came toward her, hand extended. “I've already met your young man. I'm Rick Hughes, a chaplain on staff here.”

Laura doubted Griffin cared for the assumption that they were a couple, but like him, she wouldn't correct the error. Warily polite, she shook the man's hand. “I'm Laura Parker.”

“Rick, Laura's my—” Nolan broke off, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment.

Laura held her breath and Griffin moved to stand beside her. She drew in his unique scent. He had instructed her and Joy to be careful about saying anything that might hint at the fact that they were related. Her dad knew this, too, but the medication lowered his guard. She hoped he didn't blurt something out.

Nolan struggled to speak. “Laura's my...donor.”

Relieved, she glanced at Griffin, who looked relieved, as well.

“That's very generous of you.” The pastor walked to the opposite side of the bed. “I've been praying with Nolan's sister, Joy. Maybe you'll be the miracle he needs.”

“I hope so.” She relaxed slightly, but her bodyguard didn't.

Instead, he eased closer, close enough that his arm brushed her shoulder, reassuring her.

After some quiet words to Nolan, Hughes glanced at Laura. “When do you start your injections?”

“Tomorrow,” Nolan answered for her. “She's not wasting any time.”

Beside her she felt Griffin tense. “You seem to know a lot about the procedure.”

“One of my parishioners had it done about three years ago.”

“Do you make regular visits to this floor?” he asked the chaplain.

“If there are patients who request it, yes.” Hughes smiled. “Sometimes a doctor will ask me to drop in on someone. After that it's up to the patient if they continue to see me.”

“So you see patients in other hospitals?” Griffin asked.

“Wherever I'm needed.”

“Have you been coming to OU Medical Center long?”

“Almost ten years.”

“And before that?”

“I was a missionary in Honduras.”

Laura frowned. It sounded as if Griffin was interrogating the man, although the pastor didn't seem to mind. Was her protector bothered by something or was he just getting information?

Rick's hazel eyes shone warmly at Laura. “How long have you known Nolan?”

Was the pastor making friendly conversation or fishing for information? Griffin must have wondered the same, because he shifted, putting his body slightly, protectively in front of her. “Several years,” she answered.

“Yes,” her father said weakly, still grasping her hand. “We've known each other a long time.”

Hughes nodded. “I met Nolan during his initial hospital stay after he was first diagnosed.”

“That was about nine months ago, wasn't it?” Griffin asked.

“Yes.” Rick glanced at the patient, concern crossing his round features.

Laura checked her father. His eyes fluttered as he fought the effects of the painkiller.

She squeezed his hand. “We'll let you rest now.”

She wasn't sure he heard her, but he gave her fingers a light squeeze. When his hold went limp, she gently laid his hand on his chest and studied him for a moment.

Griffin cleared his throat and she realized he held the door open, waiting for her. She quietly walked outside followed by the chaplain and Griffin, who closed the door.

Rick Hughes walked a few yards with them, then stopped in front of another patient room. “I need to drop in on someone else. It was nice to meet you both. I'll probably see you again if you visit Nolan.”

Griffin said nothing while Laura gave a noncommittal response.

“Please let me know if there's anything I can do,” Rick offered.

He seemed sincere. “Thank you,” Laura said.

As she continued down the long hallway with Griffin, she noticed that he frequently glanced over his shoulder. They stopped to pick up her things, then made their way to the empty waiting area.

“Are you suspicious of the pastor?” she asked.

“Right now I'm suspicious of everyone.”

That was probably good, though the act of always being wary made her tired. She didn't want to leave her father, but she didn't want to take any chances, either. “Thanks again for letting me see him.”

He took her elbow to steer her toward the elevator and inside. Despite his relaxed appearance, energy pulsed from him. She had no doubt he could move in one flat second if necessary. Before the doors closed, his sharp gaze scanned the hall like a laser.

Seemingly satisfied that she was as secure as possible, Griffin turned to her. “How was Nolan before I came in with the chaplain?”

“Frail, but he was alert. We spoke for a few minutes.”

Hit all over again with just how fragile her father's health was, her throat tightened.

Griffin frowned. “Your conversation didn't go well?”

“It did.” She sniffed, looking into his steady sea-green eyes. “He said he was glad I came. He forgave me.”

“And you forgave him?” the former SEAL asked gruffly.

“Yes.” They really had made progress. Relief and astonishment and gratitude flooded her. She dabbed at the sudden tears in her eyes.

Griffin looked confused. “Isn't that a good thing?”

“It's very good.” She opened her purse, looking for a tissue. “Sorry.”

“Here.” A handkerchief with her aunt's trademark embroidery appeared under her nose, small and delicate in his large sun-darkened hand.

She glanced up.

He smiled. “Your aunt has given one to all of us at Enigma.”

With a small laugh, she wiped her eyes. He flashed a half smile and her nerves shimmered in reaction.

Their gazes locked and something flickered in his eyes before they shuttered against her.

He glanced away. “Were you able to tell Nolan everything you wanted?”

“Yes,” she answered slowly. “I wish we'd had more time to talk, but the morphine makes him so groggy.”

“Did
he
apologize?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Crumpling the handkerchief in her hand, she tilted her head. “Why is that?”

He shrugged. “Maybe I don't know the whole story, but from what I do know, it sounded as though he should.”

For some reason, his words warmed her. “Thanks.”

He nodded, searching her face.

She couldn't seem to look away from him. His rugged appearance was in stark contrast to the kindness in his eyes. She couldn't deny that she found him appealing. Very appealing.

She frowned at the unexpected, unwelcome realization.

“I'm not sure you'll be able to see him again.”

Why had he said that? Because her father wouldn't make it?

Or
you
might not
, she reminded herself, gingerly touching the raw mark circling her throat.

“Coming here is too risky. This may have to be our last visit to the hospital.”

Her heart sank. At least she and Dad had started to put things right.

“Sorry. I just don't know if it will be a good idea to stop and visit him when you go to the clinic for your injections. Enigma has a doctor on call. I'll talk to her and see if she can come to my house to give you the injections.”

Enigma had its own doctor. Wow. From the information packet she had been given to read, Laura knew the middle three shots of filgrastim could be given anywhere, but she hadn't considered Griffin might want to do it at his house. Having the doctor come there would restrict Laura's movements even more.

Which meant she'd be spending a lot more time with the former SEAL.

“Looks like I'll be taking further advantage of your hospitality.”

As manufactured as her life had been in WitSec, things had still seemed more simple before she met Griffin Devaney.

She liked him, but she wouldn't be here long enough for that to matter. Even if she were out of WitSec and able to stay, these days she listened only to her head. She was all about smart, rational decisions.

And smart was
not
a six-foot-plus ex-SEAL with blue-green eyes and a slow grin.

FOUR

T
hings had gone okay for the rest of their stay at the hospital. Still, Griffin didn't breathe easy until he and Laura were back at his house late that afternoon. The assailant had gotten past him. He was rattled and that angry red mark circling her neck didn't help.

He still wasn't sure if remaining as her bodyguard was the right call, but he'd agreed. He wouldn't go back on his word. And she wouldn't be attacked again, no matter what he had to do.

On the ride home, he had asked several random questions in an attempt to determine if she had suffered a concussion. She didn't appear to have one. Now she sat at his kitchen table, her features drawn and tired. The knot at her hairline was now swollen to the size of a quarter and starting to turn blue.

Joy was on her way here with Boone Winslow, who was standing in for Sydney this evening. Opening his first-aid kit, Griffin took out a tube of antibiotic ointment and uncapped it. He started to give the medicine to Laura, but she looked completely done in.

He squeezed some ointment onto a cotton swab and leaned down, gently tipping her head to the side. “I'll try not to hurt you.”

“I'm not worried.” She gave him a faint smile.

As lightly as possible, he dabbed the ointment on the vicious-looking abrasion around her neck.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Just fine. Thanks.”

Her silky hair hung across one shoulder, sliding across the back of his hand as he worked. Satisfied that he'd done what he could for her injuries, he capped the ointment and tossed it into the first-aid kit. Then he gingerly checked the knot at her hairline.

When she winced, white-hot anger rushed through him. Griffin wanted to pound the guy who'd tried to kill her.

“Good thinking to kick over that trash can,” he said, easing down into the chair adjacent to hers. “Have you remembered anything else about the guy who did this? Besides the possible tattoo on his wrist?”

“No. I'll let you know if I do.”

The light in her eyes was gone and Griffin found himself wishing he knew how to put it back. “How are you feeling? Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Do you need some ibuprofen for your head or neck?”

“No, thanks.” She didn't seem to need or want anything. Maybe her time in WitSec had taught her that. If Griffin hadn't thought she was strong before, he sure did now. Not only because she was still standing after being attacked twice in the past forty-eight hours, but also because she was still determined to do whatever was necessary to help her father.

Griffin couldn't comprehend how she seemed able to just forgive her father or how her father could've forgiven her so easily. He knew it
couldn't
be that easy. Could it? He'd never heard of anyone who'd done anything like that. He sure hadn't forgiven Emily and they had broken up almost four years ago.

He searched his mind for a way to keep Laura engaged. “How long has it been since you've spoken to your dad?”

He expected her to say ten months, the length of time she'd been in WitSec.

“My graduation from vet school, three years ago. We didn't part on good terms.”

He shifted toward her. “What happened?”

“I rebelled. Against my dad and God. It started after my mom died from cancer. It was a pattern of bad behavior that went on too long.”

“Until you turned evidence on Arrico?”

“Yes, although that didn't fix things with my dad.”

“Were things always rocky between you two?”

“Not until my mom passed. I was seventeen, a junior in high school, and spent as little time as possible with him. The guys I dated were his complete opposite. Forbidden. I grew apart from him and apart from God, too.”

“Maybe God grew apart from you,” Griffin suggested quietly. That was what had happened to him on an Afghan mountain four years ago.

“I told myself that for a long time, but the truth is God was always there. I'm the one who turned away from Him.”

Griffin wasn't sure he agreed. He'd lost God during a disastrous mission in the Hindu Kush that had also cost his career and the lives of his three teammates. God's absence had been confirmed when he'd returned home and Emily had dumped him for someone else. “You met Arrico when he brought his injured dog into the school's teaching vet clinic?”

“How do you know that?” she asked sharply.

“Marshal Yates and the trial transcripts.”

After a moment, she continued, “Back then I was looking for trouble. Vin asked me out. I accepted. Two months later, I moved in with him. Bad decision in more ways than one.”

Regret was written all over her pretty face. “Which you realized the night he hit you?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Before that, actually, but that's when I finally left.”

“So, you found evidence of his drug dealing and human trafficking, and took it to the FBI?” he prompted.

She nodded. “The case didn't go to trial for a year and I was under FBI protection until it wrapped up.”

“Then Arrico tried to kill you in a drive-by shooting. Which explains why you're in WitSec.”

“Did Floyd also tell you that?” she asked accusingly, her voice taut.

He realized she must feel that her life wasn't her own, which it wasn't. “The Marshals moved you to Pueblo and you've been there ten months, safe and sound.”

“Until now,” she muttered.

He tried to imagine how he would feel if his control were taken away like that. “You seem okay with giving up your life.”

“Do I?” Her blue eyes were weary. “I wasn't at first. I was angry and bitter and resentful. WitSec was my
only
option or I wouldn't have done it. The cost is too high. You lose
everything
.”

Griffin had never thought about it, probably like most people.

“I still have my moments. Then I realized I didn't want to live that way. I started to pray and read the Bible regularly. After that I began to feel some peace.”

“You can be at peace even if you have to live as someone else for the rest of your life?”

“I think so. I intend to try.”

“You came back knowing you'd probably have to disappear again.”

“If my father dies, I would regret not having done everything I could to save him, regret not trying to patch things up. Things between us were bad before any of the stuff with Vin. If Dad dies, I would never get another chance. I don't want to stand before God and say that I didn't try to mend fences with him.”

Griffin didn't understand why anyone would turn their back on family. He would never have done that. If he'd had a family, that is.

One of the reasons he'd become a SEAL was because he wanted to be a man worth something, wanted to belong somewhere. And he had, until he'd lost his brothers-in-arms.

They'd been his family. Now they were gone. He'd come home and gotten help for his PTSD, but that hadn't been good enough for Emily to give them another chance. Some bitterness still lingered. Was Laura able to put the past behind her because of her faith?

Griffin had learned that he could depend only on himself and so far, so good. He might not understand Laura's actions, but he respected them. There weren't many people who would try to fix something that had been broken for so long.

Griffin's phone beeped and he looked down to see a text message from Boone. “Winslow's here with your aunt.”

For a second, Laura looked confused. “Oh, I forgot Sydney had a prior commitment and Boone agreed to bring Joy.”

With all that had happened today, it was no wonder Laura had blanked for a moment. The door leading from the garage opened and her aunt came in followed by a tall lanky man with coal-black hair.

Concern in her blue eyes, Joy's gaze went to her niece's neck. “How are you?”

“I'm fine.” She gestured toward Griffin. “Dr. Devaney took care of me.”

Winslow arched a brow at Griffin, then stepped around the older woman, extending his hand to Laura and introducing himself. “You're as pretty as your aunt.”

At the compliment, Griffin gave his friend a flat look even though he had learned Winslow's charm was sincere. When on a job, Boone's charisma could also be dangerous, drawing someone in before they realized it might be a mistake.

After the brief pleasantries, the other man slid a look at Griffin. “Is there somewhere we can talk? I got the lab results back.”

The icy sharpness in his friend's blue gaze told Griffin the news must be grim.

“Results from the syringe?” Laura asked.

“Yes,” Winslow said. “And your blood test.”

Griffin motioned around the small circle. “Go ahead. We all need to hear it.”

“The good news is Laura's blood work came back clear of infection or foreign substances.”

“And the bad news?” she asked.

“It was pentobarbital,” Boone said in a flat voice. “A large dose. Enough to put out a horse.”

At Laura's questioning look, he explained, “It's a narcotic.”

“Heavy-duty narcotic,” Griffin added grimly. Whoever had tried to inject Laura meant business. “It's used for surgery patients, sometimes for seizures or people with insomnia. An overdose can be fatal.”

“So, this drug is available at the hospital,” Laura said. “Readily available to personnel?”

“I don't know about readily,” Griffin said. “But it's definitely accessible.”

“So, anyone who works there could get their hands on it.”

“Probably not just anyone,” Joy put in hopefully.

“But,” Boone added, “it wouldn't be that difficult to obtain.”

Griffin nodded. “Before, I only asked Ghost for interior elevator footage. I'll have him also check the hospital security footage
outside
the elevator. Maybe he'll see someone going into the lab or supply room or even coming out with a syringe.”

“Who's Ghost?” Laura frowned.

“A buddy who's a former SEAL,” Griffin explained.

Boone added, “He's also a computer genius. His nickname is Ghost because he can get in and out of anywhere without anyone knowing.”

“Oh.”

Griffin turned to Laura. “He's already checking into the guy on the elevator who was wearing a hoodie.”

“Is he checking out everyone on the elevator?” Joy asked.

“Yes.”

“Including the nurse, Cheryl?” Laura asked. “She's been nearby both times I was attacked.”

“And Pastor Hughes was conveniently around after the strangulation,” Griffin said.

“No!” Joy burst out, shock widening her eyes. “It can't be him.”

“I hope it isn't, but we have to look at everyone. Especially those in the hospital who are around Nolan.”

“Well,” Laura said slowly, “the pastor does spend a lot of time there.”

After what she had been through, Griffin wasn't surprised she shared his cynical views on that.

“You shouldn't think so ill of people, Laura,” her aunt scolded.

“She has to,” Griffin defended. “We all do at this point.”

Looking thoughtful, Laura said, “If Cheryl has access to the drug, so do other medical personnel.”

“True,” Griffin said. “But they haven't been nearby after each of your attacks.”

“But Nurse Inhofe works on that floor,” Joy put in. “Her being there doesn't prove she's involved.”

“And since we can't tell who stabbed at Laura in the elevator, I'll have Ghost check on the nurse as well as the pastor. We do know neither of them were the ones who attacked you in the ladies' room.”

“Well,” Boone said somberly, “whoever jabbed you with that syringe meant to kill you.”

If possible, Laura went even more pale, the blue of her eyes stark against her skin. For a moment, Griffin thought she might crumple, but she didn't.

She lightly touched the swollen knot at her hairline. “I think I'll rest for a while.”

“So will I,” Joy said.

As the two women walked away, Griffin kept his gaze on Laura.

“She's impressive,” Boone said quietly.

Griffin slid his friend a look. “What do you mean? Her looks?”

“Her guts.” The other man grinned. “But I'm glad to see you've noticed how pretty she is.”

A man would have to be blind to miss that, but Griffin kept the thought to himself. “I have to take her back to the hospital tomorrow.”

“Why would you do that?” Boone's gaze sliced to his, his tone saying he thought the idea was crazy.

So did Griffin. “It's not my preference. Nolan's transplant doctor finished going over Laura's paperwork and needs a final meeting with her and her dad. Because of his schedule, he can only do it there.”

“I don't like that.”

“Tell me about it.” Griffin dragged a hand down his face. “This is the most unconventional job I've had in a long while, but I have to make it work. Which leads me to ask if you can go with us tomorrow. I plan on asking Sydney, too. I need both of you.”

“Sure. Let me know what time and the plan.”

“Will do.”

Giving Griffin a slap on the back, the other man left. Griffin stared down at the first-aid kit on his table. He couldn't get the images of Laura's injured neck and head out of his thoughts. Or that syringe dangling from her sweater.

It brought back that unfamiliar burn of anger. He knew emotion like that—any emotion—could be dangerous. It bordered on becoming personally involved and Griffin wouldn't go there.

But he would do everything in his power to keep Laura from getting killed. To do that, he needed to keep his focus on the job, not on his growing admiration for his beautiful charge.

* * *

Enough to put out a horse.

With those words screaming through her head, it had taken Laura a while to fall asleep last night. A long prayer had helped. She was trying to turn things over to God, but that had been a lifelong struggle for her. Though she had gained some peace, she was still afraid. But she also believed God had given her this chance to make amends with her dad. Because of that, she was determined to complete the blood donation process.