Love Is Crazy (Love Is… #1) (29 page)

“I don’t know, Lulu,” she said, sweeping the little dog up into her arms. “Whatever this is, I’m going to enjoy it while I have it.”

I
f Ian wanted
her wearing next to nothing in the morning, well, she’d surprise him and do just that. She had a bikini and some little shorts that she’d wear when he showed up, but that meant she’d need to go up to the bath for some personal grooming. Carrying Lulu up with her, Juliet hummed to the dog, just a silly little melody she’d made up when she was a child and kept in her head as she grew. It made her happy. Always had. And it came to her when she was happiest.

The dog’s nails clicked on the tile when Julz set her down. “Not exactly spa quality, but we’ve been in worse, haven’t we?” Juliet asked and Lulu cocked her head to the side as if to agree. Dirt caked on the edges of the aged tiles and dust gathered in sticky clumps at the walls. Yellow water and rust stains sullied the sides of the tub and sink and someone had painted the walls an obscene gold.

But all that was fixable. It wouldn’t take much. Juliet could clean the dirt and paint the walls. She was sure Ian knew how to replace the tile and wouldn’t be surprised to learn he could replace the sink and tub as well. Still humming she filled the bath and climbed in, sighing as the water made its way up to her shoulders. As she shaved, she grew quiet, the happy melody chased away by worrisome thoughts she didn’t even know she was having until she realized she’d stopped singing.

What if Ian was actually another alpha male who wanted to control her, to hurt her, to make her his and take her away from herself? He seemed kind and giving … sure he was confident and liked to take charge, but he didn’t seem like … well … an asshole like Michael. But, she only met him a few days ago. Anyone can fake a persona for a few days. Right?

Her heart argued with her head, pointing out all the good things he’d done for her, all the ways he’d made her feel special and cared for. But her head went right ahead and pointed out just how those good things proved Ian was dangerous. He had ordered for her at the restaurant. He had brought her furniture without asking if it was okay. He had gripped her hands above her head, trapping her against the door and only held tighter when she’d squirmed. And then, he’d smacked her right on the ass. Hard.

And those things were all true, but he’d known what the specialty was at the restaurant. And she’d needed furniture. And she liked having him hold her wrists like that. It made her lower muscles clench even now, just thinking about it. And the smack on the ass? He’d followed it up by rubbing his hand over the spot, soothing her, and then plunging his fingers inside her and making her feel muscle-quiveringly good before he’d gone ahead and done it again. And she had liked that too.

Thing is, just because she liked it didn’t mean it was good for her.

Right?

She’d just have to take it easy and pay attention. If it seemed like he was trying to take over her life, or order her around, or—she shivered—got too aggressive with her, then she would, what? Move out? She laughed a little, the sound echoing against the tile and bit her lip. That would have to be something she decided if she ever got to that point.

If.

If
she ever got to that point.

Ian Moore was not Michael Phillips.

And for that matter, Ian had more reasons to judge Juliet than she ever had to judge him. She shuddered to think about what he might do if he found out about all the things she’d done with Michael. It didn’t matter at all that she didn’t like what he had done. What mattered was that she had let him do it.

Julz puffed out her cheeks and let the water out of the tub. So much for that great day she thought she was going to have. These were some awfully heavy thoughts for a day with no deadline but bedtime. Time to stop dwelling on dark topics and start enjoying getting to live right next to the ocean. She slipped on her bikini, grabbed a towel, some sunscreen, sunglasses, and her cellphone and then stepped out the back door and still had to shield her eyes against the sun. Ian was right, it was a hot one. And it was barely April! She’d still be wishing for a coat in New York.

She couldn’t help the smile as she crossed the porch, looking down at the section she’d helped Ian repair yesterday. It felt good, seeing those clean sections of strong wood, knowing that she had helped put them there. By the time she finished the short walk down to the beach, her mood had already brightened. It’d be impossible to keep a dark mood with the sun beating down on her shoulders, the wind blowing off the ocean and cooling the sweat that had already formed on her brow.

She dropped her stuff on the beach and kept walking until her toes touched the water. A wave rolled in and frothed around her ankles while the sun glistened out across the miles of blue sea that disappeared into blue sky. Julz raised her arms and took a deep breath and tears of gratitude pricked her eyes. In all her years, she had never felt so happy. So relaxed. She dug her toes into the damp sand, watched the water dig deep holes around her feet and it was like she had finally come home. Like all those years of forcing a smile were over because, here, in Bliss, her smile just showed up on its own.

Deciding against a swim in favor of stretching out on her towel and baking in the sun, Juliet headed back to her stuff. She sprayed some sunscreen across her body, remembering Ian’s hands and mouth on her breasts, and smiled despite her reservations about him. Picked up her phone and found a text from Ian.

I missed you the moment I walked out your door. Counting the hours until the morning.

Juliet tapped the phone against her smile, feeling good from the inside out. It only took her a moment to figure out how to respond.

You make me feel better than I’ve ever felt.

Of course, she instantly questioned the clingy factor the minute she hit send, but brushed the thought away. It only took a few minutes for a text to come back in.

And just think, I’m only getting started.

If this was his warm up, she couldn’t wait for the real deal. She even considered texting him that, but decided against it and called Willow instead, not even worrying about using her secret code.

Willow picked up after the first ring. “Hey!”

“Hey yourself!”

“Well you sound pretty damn relaxed. I take it things went well with Mr. Amazing?”

“I guess you could say that.”

“Did you do it? Did you throw caution to the wind and sleep with him?”

“Willow! You know I don’t kiss and tell.”

Willow laughed. “Bullshit. You most definitely tell. Hell, you even told when you were contractually obligated not to.”

Worry clenched Juliet’s stomach. It’d been a long night of drinking followed by a long night of sharing secrets when she’d told Willow about her arrangement with Michael. She trusted Willow, but the fact that she’d gone against her word didn’t sit well with her.

“Stop getting mad at yourself about it,” Willow said after a few seconds of silence on Juliet’s end.

“I'm not.”

“Sure you are. Of course you are. I know it bothers you that you broke your word. But come on, Julz. For one thing, I’m basically just an extension of you, so there’s no way you could have
not
told me. And for another, you were in a pretty shitty situation and needed to talk. I’d have been pissed if you ended up losing your shit or getting hurt and you’d never told me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Juliet said with a smile. “I suppose you want me to tell you you’re right or something.”

“Nope. I want you to tell me all about this guy. What’s his name again?”

“Ian.”

“Listen to you,” Willow said happily. “You can’t say his name without gushing.”

“I’m not gushing.”

“You most definitely just gushed. That was a gush if I’ve ever heard one.”

Juliet laughed and flipped over, and a bead of sweat worked its way down her neck and in between her breasts. “Well,” she drew the word out, not sure how much she really wanted to share. Part of her wanted to keep Ian all to herself rather than share him with Willow. “Let’s just say that I’ve been happier in these last few days than I’ve ever been in my life. Ever. I love it here. And he makes me feel…” She trailed off, not sure what word to use that meant all the things he made her feel.

“And there you are, still gushing.”

“Fine. I’m gushing. He’s awesome enough to make me gush.”
And scary as hell,
she thought, but didn’t say.

“Well, I’m happy that you’re happy. But Julz? Do me a favor, okay? Be careful. Don’t rush into another mistake.”

Of course Willow would echo her exact sentiments. “I will. I mean, I won’t. I mean, I’ll be careful and I won’t rush in,” she clarified as Willow laughed on the other end.

“Sure. This from the girl who’s already moved into his house and spent a night in his bed!”

Juliet didn’t have a good response to that, not one that made a lot of sense anyway. They chatted a few more minutes. Willow told her about the latest party she’d been to and Julz realized she really didn’t miss the frenetic energy of the city at all. Just listening to Willow’s story exhausted her. She’d take a slow morning and the rush of the waves over the hectic rush of living in New York any day.

H
oly shit
. Juliet Lane might be the hottest woman Ian had ever slept with. So eager, so willing, so unrestrained. And yet there’d been moments when he’d worried he was being too rough with her. She’d tried to pull her wrists out of his hands when he’d first pinned them over her head on the door. She’d relaxed right after, even told him
yes
when he’d asked if she liked it when he took control. But then she’d yelped when he’d slapped that sweet ass the first time, and he’d sworn that there’d been fear in her eyes when she turned around to look at him. Of course, he’d made sure that fear had dissipated, made sure to take the sting away and make her feel good and, oh boy, had she reacted well to that.

Ian sat back in his recliner and kicked his feet back, took a swig of his beer and watched the moon rise over the ocean. Couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Juliet was sitting in her living room, those long legs tucked underneath her, watching the moon rise, too. God, she was beautiful. As if she had been crafted exactly to his specifications. That long brown hair, those wide brown eyes, those perky little tits, and that silky skin that felt so damn good under his hands.

Well, maybe she wasn’t made exactly to his specifications. He had kept things pretty tame last night and she hadn’t exactly seemed comfortable. Holding her wrists above her head? He would have loved to tie her down. One or two little slaps on that ass? He could have taken a whole evening, alternating between spanking her cheeks red and sliding his fingers into her wet pussy, bringing her to the brink of orgasm only to pull his fingers out and slap her again. Mixing pleasure with pain until she was a quivering mess of sensation. And then he’d fuck her until she came all over his dick and he came, gloriously, inside her.

Just thinking about it made him hard. He adjusted his pants before taking another swig of his beer. His gut kept telling him that Juliet Lane wasn’t a broken little bird, too scared to push the limits of her sexuality, but her reactions last night hadn’t exactly made him feel comfortable that he was thinking with the right head. He would just have to find out how far he could go with her. Just push her a little farther each time they were together, make sure she always came first. Make sure she always knew he would take care of her and keep her safe. And then bring her to the very limits of sensation.

If she wouldn’t let him take charge, if she wasn’t willing to experiment, well, that would be pretty damn disappointing, because Ian was the way he was and he couldn’t change that. He liked his sex rough and his women pliant. He’d share the pleasure he got from making her pliable, give Juliet the best orgasms of her life, but if she couldn’t trust him, then he couldn’t be with her.

And that thought brought his hard on crashing down because he really liked being with Juliet. She made him laugh and laughed at his jokes in return. She was clearly driven, capable of taking care of herself, but something told Ian she didn’t like having to do it all herself. That she’d love to have someone step in and take the reins. And if that’s what she wanted, then Ian was the one to do it. He’d wrap his arm around her shoulders and guide her through the hard parts, protecting her, caring for her, keeping her safe.

“What the hell?” he asked his empty living room. “Slow down, Moore. Cart before the horse.” He drank the last of his beer and clinked the tip of the empty bottle against his chin. If he was having thoughts like that, he was definitely going to have to find out if Juliet could handle his more demanding sexual appetites sooner rather than later. He couldn’t let her get any further into his heart if she wasn’t going to be a good match from him.

Good thing was, he’d have one hell of a good time finding out how far he could take her.

Ian wandered into the kitchen for another beer, his mind circling with thoughts of Juliet, alternating between how much fun he had being inside her and how much fun he had being with her. For whatever reason, he zeroed in on the fear he thought he’d seen in her eyes when he’d spanked her and he stopped dead in his tracks. He’d seen that fear before. In the pictures he saw online of her with Michael Phillips. The same pictures that showed just the faintest of healing bruises, probably invisible to most people. But Ian wasn’t most people.

Anger clenched his jaw and tightened his hands into fists. Had Phillips hurt Juliet? Had he left those bruises on that delicious body? Had he left that fear in those soulful brown eyes? Damn it. That changed everything. If she’d been hurt like that before, he couldn’t just try to test her limits for his own pleasure. He needed to know what she’d been through. He needed to know how she’d been hurt.

And if Phillips had hurt her? Then her reactions last night only proved that Juliet
did
trust Ian. That she was willing to go where Ian could take her, and damn it, that only made him want to be with her more. To erase the scars left by that asshole. To show her what it was like to be with a man worthy of trust. He thought back to the pain that had flashed on her face when they discussed her parents this morning. The way she took having nothing in stride, drinking her damn coffee out of a bowl and smiling about it.

How many years had she navigated murky waters all by herself? That indomitable spirit keeping her afloat when so many other people would have sunken down into the depths of despair? Ian swiped a beer from the fridge and twisted the cap open, tossed it onto the granite counter and took a long drink as it clinked towards the sink. Whatever she’d been through, however hard it’d been, he was going to make it better. He was going to take her hand and guide her to shore, give her more reasons to flash him with that radiant smile.